Daddy's Love

"Why did you do that Carol?"

"Because I was mad at you and daddy!" She's crying and Ana's asleep in my arms.

"Is that the way to behave when you are mad at someone?" I ask her.

"But wh..."

"But nothing Carol. You could have burnt the house down. You could have killed yourself and all of us. Ana was in the same room as you, and you didn't even once think about her. How could you want to hurt us all so bad?"

She looks like she is about to cry, all the rebellion seeping out of her pores.

"Yes, we forced you to take the shot because we did not want you to fall sick. You remember how Zach was admitted in the hospital last year, because of the flu? We didn't want that for you or Ana. We understand you didn't want the shot and that you were upset about getting it- You were supposed to. You are our little baby and we don't expect you to understand all this but trying to set the place on fire? Really?"

She burst out in tears.

"I didn't think of it... Not like that. I just wanted to take revenge." She cries.

"Baby, I don't even know what to say."

"I am so... Sorry." She sobs.

"I am sure you are, but a sorry doesn't cut it out. You abused. You scratched and bit Jay and me. We did not punish you for that, did we? But what you did here was so extreme. You disappoint me Carol. We thought you were better than that."

She cries and I don't know what to do.

"We were just trying to take care of you."

"I don't want you to!" She snaps again and then cries some more.

"Okay. We won't. You want to be a big girl and take care of yourself? You do that. Let's see how that works out." I tell her.

She looks at me in disbelief.

"You don't mean it."

"Oh, I do. Every word of it."

"Daddy's going to kill me!"

"He won't. I'll talk to him. He won't even tell you one word. You be the big girl you want to be and take care of yourself."

"You promise? No naptime? No rules? I can run around as much as I want and I don't have to eat veggies? And I can watch TV for as long as I want?"

"Yes."

"But if you don't like it..."

"Oh, I will!" She interrupts me.

"If you don't, you'll stop fighting yourself trying to get into headspace whenever you have to go to the doctor or any other stressful situation. You'll let us take care of you the way we want to, the way we know how. Deal?"

"Deal!" She grins and runs off to watch TV.

I hope Jay doesn't kill me for this. I call him.

"What is it?"

"Jay, do you trust me?"☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐