Cynetic Wolf

I awoke to the sound of sadistic cheering.

The doors opened, and Ganla and Henk helped me hobble down the steps. Everything was a blur of pain: faces, cheers, clapping—pure agony.

As we entered the farmhouse, I spun. “How can you celebrate at a time like this?” I cried. “We lost people, we lost Zedda! She was preg—” The words caught in my throat. I reached out to grab the nearest person, to shake sense into them and crumpled into a sobbing heap on the snow.

“How could you?” I sputtered. “How could you?”

Henk helped me to my feet and carried me through the door. Everything disappeared.

* * *

Sunlight hit me. Why hadn’t I died? Tons of messages and notifications. I ignored all of them. I could care less. I was done. I’d lost everything, EVERYTHING! Nothing could change that.

There was a message from Zedda. Crying, I sat up. It almost killed me. Not now, not like this.

Swinging my legs out of the old fashioned bed, I stood, keeling over. Pain wracked me as nerves in my stump of a foot exploded.

Struggling, I wrenched myself to my feet, waiting a few moments before dulling the pain. I needed to feel something, anything. At least physical torment I could handle.

There was a wheelchair in the far corner. Someone had prepared for me, the cripple. I stumbled into the chair and wheeled into the hallway.

Everyone froze.

No one knew how to react. It was awful.

“There you are,” Caell said with an awkward smile. “We wondered when you’d be up. Hungry?”

Was he kidding? Hungry? Why was he being nice to me? It just highlighted the emptiness inside. How could he—my stomach grumbled.

“Yeah,” I said grudgingly. “Thanks.”

“We got bacon and eggs,” he replied with a forced cheer. “Sound good?”

I shrugged, unable to speak. Whatever.

Henk came over to check on my leg. “It doesn’t look half bad.” He motioned to my foot. “Thanks for saving me. Would have been in some trouble if it weren’t for you.”

“It was my fault you were there in the first place. How many made it back?” I added, dreading the answer but needing to know.

“Just us,” he said. “We got Calter though,” he added, as if somehow that made things better. But how could it? And how had Mom fallen for Calter? Was that why I was so wicked?

So many questions left unanswered, dying with him.

“The plan failed!” I snapped. “We needed him alive. Even then…”

A long, awkward silence until Caell interrupted. “Hungry?” He handed me a heaping plate.

I forced myself to eat, downing the tasteless food. Halfway through, I choked on bile and tears came. She was gone, our son too.

Henk excused himself, leaving me to mourn. Sitting in my wheelchair, surrounded by the energetic buzz, I was more alone than ever. What was I going to do?

Ages later, someone tapped my shoulder. “Room for one more?” Ania asked.

I nodded, unable to speak or swallow that last bite.

She sat and put her feeble arm around me. “How you doing?”

I shrugged, not wanting her to know how bad it was.

“I’m sorry about Zedda,” she said at last. “I’m sorry about everything.”

“It’s not your fault.” It’s mine.

“It’s still horrible. I feel bad.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, voice failing me like I had our unborn child...

“Seen the news?” she asked, saving me yet another gravity well of despair.

I shook my head. What did it matter?

“The military fell apart. You were right, Calter was pulling the strings. The government lost it this time. There are stories of the DNS facing off against the army. And the alliance with the elites has imploded. We’ve captured a dozen tier one and tier two cities in the last thirty-six hours. Even the WNN’s calling for peace.”

It barely registered, or maybe it just didn’t matter. “Thirty-six hours?” I was out a day and a half?

She nodded. “You didn’t know?”

I shook my head. I could care less.

“It could end any day,” she continued, her excitement the mirror opposite of the emptiness I felt. “You did it, Raek. We’re almost there!”

Ganla appeared. “We didn’t want to wake you, figured you needed the sleep. But things have been moving. We might see peace in our day. You can say I told you so,” she added with a grim smile.

A hopeless laugh escaped me as the impact of what they were saying reached me. “It’s not about right or wrong. I’m glad...” A deep breath, hold it together, Raek… “Glad maybe it was worth it,” I finished, choking back tears.

Ganla put her hand on my shoulder. “Ania, can you come with me? Raek needs some time.”

The next few days passed much the same, everyone avoiding me and unsure what to say.

One morning, we got the news, the war—if you could call it that—was over. The other sides were tired of the bloodshed and ready to end it at any cost. Celebration and high-fiving all around. It was sickening.

In the middle of it, I wheeled to the door, unable to stand their joy and happiness. Rolling along the breezy winter trails, I thought about all I’d lost, everything that had happened. Elly, my town, Fitz and his murder. Being on the run, meeting Lars, sparring. The time Zedda rescued us, making love, our future. The son my monster of a father robbed us of.

So much, both incredibly good and incredibly bad. The world would never be the same. Neither would I. And somehow, it would continue on. It couldn’t just end.

At the fork in the path were the first signs of spring, an oak sapling sprouting tiny green buds through the cold, dead earth, emerging from a hard winter for the seasonal cycle of growth and repair.

A wolf howled in the distance.

Something about the rawness of the moment gave me comfort. I don’t know why. Zedda would have liked it; the beauty of nature and of simple wonders always made her smile. I should check her message. If a tree could fight for its life, defying all odds through the worst of winter, so could I.

Her face materialized and my heart skipped a beat.

‘Raek,’ Zedda began, her face so beautiful. ‘I realized there’s a chance we might not see each other again, that something could happen tonight. I didn’t have time to tell you everything I feel, everything I wanted to say.’ She paused.

‘Raek Mekorian, I love you, and my future is with you! I didn’t want to distract you earlier. But there are no guarantees. In case anything happens, I wanted you to know. And,’ she added with a smile that took my breath away, ‘You’re going to do great things. The world demands it of you. It needs you. I don’t know if we’ll be together, if that’s what fate has in store.’ She took a deep breath.

‘You’re the smartest, strongest person I’ve ever met, remember that. Remember it when times are hard. You’re capable of much more than you know. Don’t limit yourself.’ She smiled and turned as if someone was coming. ‘I need to go, Raek, it’s time. Before I do, one more thing: When this is all over, if it ever ends, you’re the type of leader I’d follow. You’re the type of person that could unify us. Don’t change, don’t back down. Do it for all of us, do it for me. Love and stuff. See you soon.’

Transmission ended.

No. That couldn’t be it. There had to be more. I replayed the message twice, but that was it. She was gone...

I sank to the frozen ground and sat there for a long time, eyes closed. “Do it for all of us, do it for me.” Her dying wish reverberated through me. Unify mankind?

It was too much to ask.

But she’d asked it, damn it, with her last immortalized breath. There was no un-hearing that. And who was I to deny her? I couldn’t let her down. My fists clenched as her impossible mission engulfed me. That was it. That’s what I’d do. I had to.

Haunted memories and burning pain spurred me as I rose from the ashes around me.

I’d do it for her. I’d do it for all of them.

I headed back to the farmhouse.

It was time to get to work.

To be continued...