Cyber Love

I was in deep thought on my work computer, my eyes were stinging and it was way past six pm. Damien had already gone home, giving up but I clearly liked to suffer. My phone was in my desk drawer to avoid the temptation to look at it. I yawned, my arms going over my head. I quickly opened my drawer and brought my phone to life.

"Fuck" I said out loud. Zeke had called me six times and left a message.

Z: 'Sash, call me.'

With shaking hands I dialed his number, my heart in my throat as he answered straight away.

"Sasha"

"What's wrong?" I asked, turning from my computer.

"I don't want you to freak out and we will sort it."

"What?!" I shouted, hand to my chest.

"I spoke with my manager today, I'm next on the London list so I spoke to my probation officer". He went silent and my freak out was at the highest level. That normally would be fantastic news but I knew this wasn't.

"He has refused the move". Zeke spit out.

"What?" I asked, tears already in my eyes.

"He said I can't leave Manchester until my probation is finished". His voice was low and he sounded awful.

"But that's not for eighteen months," I whispered.

"I know. I tried Sash, I tried so fucking hard. Giving him your address, the address of my new work. Everything but he refused it straight up". I stared into the wall of my office. My heart breaking.

"This is bullshit," I spat out.

"I know baby, we will sort something". Anger came over me.

"No we won't. What's the point?".

"Sash, don't do this. I said we will sort it".

"How on earth can we sort it? Hmmm?" I could hear the anger in my voice.

"Baby, you need to calm down. I get it, I do but getting angry isn't going to help anybody".

"Why are you so cool about this? Our whole plans have been thrown out the window! That was our plan. We knew we would be together soon and now? We have to wait eighteen months?"

"I'm not cool about shit!" Zeke shouted, he was irritated and I knew I wasn't helping. I couldn't even believe this was happening. Maybe we had been too relaxed that our plans would work. "I'm fucking pissed off! He had no good reasons as to why I couldn't move. Guys a dickhead and doesn't give a fuck at all. Rather then let me move and do what I need to do with my life, move on in my life with someone I fucking love he makes me stay in shithole Manchester!" Zeke shouted. My hand was shaking, I had never heard him so angry. "What he fails to fucking realise is everybody I know is here! How easy it would be for me to meet someone and start selling again. How many times my phone has rang and people asked me to jump back in!"

"Zeke," I whispered. I was terrified now, for a different reason.

"I'm not going to do shit Sash, I made a promise to you. My life would be so much easier if I lived with you." My eyes scanned the room.

"Can you not appeal?" My voice was shaking. I needed him with me. I hated that we had to have this conversation over the phone.

"Fuck knows." He sounded defeated. "I'm going to go," he said suddenly.

"Zeke!" I shouted, half standing up.

"No I'm pissed Sash, let me just chill the fuck out of a second. I told you to do it and I'm not a hypocrite."

"I'll call you when I get home?" I asked, starting to pack up.

"Please" he said softly before hanging up on me.