Cyber Love

The venue Liv and Andrew had chosen for their party was stunning. An old barn converted. The walls were pure white, wooden beams and floor. As we walked in I felt Zeke tense in my hand.

"Sasha!" I heard Liv's voice, loud even over the music. I grinned as I saw her. In a beautiful floor length white silk gown. Her pregnant stomach poking out. She waved as she walked over, grabbing me for a cuddle.

"Andrew!" She screamed. I watched Andrew come over, a sharp suit and his dark hair cut short.

"Sasha! So glad to see you". He kissed both cheeks and I stepped back.

"Liv, Andrew this is Zeke". I smiled as Liv grabbed him close, cuddling him.

"So nice to finally meet you!" Liv said excitedly.

"You too, thank you for inviting me." Zeke spoke, his voice more serious than I'm used to.

"Hey, it's nice for Sasha to finally bring someone." Andrew said as he and Zeke shook hands.

"Grab a drink guys, I'll come and chat to you later," Liv winked at me and she and Andrew went to speak to their other guests. Zeke put my hand in his as we walked to the glass bar.

"Is your mum here?" He asked me.

"No, Liv didn't invite her". We sat at the bar, the bartender taking our orders.

"Have you not spoken to her?" Zeke asked me, grabbing my hand and putting it to his thigh.

"Nope" I shook my head. I grabbed the drink in front of me, taking a swig.

"Maybe you should call her". His voice was low. I shook my head again, no fucking way.

"Not happening," I laughed.

"What would your dad say?" Zeke’s question threw me and I moved my hand from his thigh and Zeke groaned. "Baby don't do that". I took another gulp of my drink, the alcohol burning my throat. "I'll shut up," Zeke sighed, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"My dad would say," I turned to him, trying to control my shaky voice. "That we were both being pig headed". I stared into Zeke’s face, the sound of the DJ in the back of my head.

"He would also say your mum is wrong, but she is still your mum and you can't ignore her forever". Zeke finished for me.

"I'm sure I can," I smirked.

"Sash, please listen to someone who knows what it's like to not have a mum near them it's"

"I don't have a dad,'' I spat out. "Just fucking leave it Zeke. You have your own shit to deal with". I crossed my legs.

"What does that mean?" He asked, his face hurt. I went to apologise and instead put a fake smile on as Liv approached us.

"Hi love birds!" Liv giggled, literally at the worst timing. Zeke sat up, smiling at Liv.

"How are you guys? Zeke I'm so glad you could come all the way for this. I'm so happy". Liv put her hand on his shoulder, she did look ridiculously happy.

"Of course, Sash wanted me here and I wanted to meet you". His voice was sweet. "Is your mum going to be here?" He asked. I shot him a dirty look, this fucking prick. I could feel my blood boiling as Liv let out a breath.

"I'm not going to lie Sasha, I did invite her". Liv looked at me. I felt a tear behind my eye.

"She couldn't come," she said sadly.

"Couldn't or didn't want to?" I asked, anger in my voice.

"Well" Liv sighed. "She felt it wasn't best". I stood up, slamming my drink on the bar.

"Sasha," I heard Zeke behind me as I smashed the door open to the toilets. I could feel my tears coming as I locked the stall door behind me, slamming my head on the door. I cried in my hands, my emotions completely taking over. This was bullshit and all I wanted was my dad. My dad wouldn't have let this happen, he wouldn't have let me and my mum fail to be in the same space. I cried to myself for a while, before coming out of the stall. I jumped.

"What's going on with you?" Zeke asked me.

"I don't know what you mean," I whispered.

"You've not been right for a while. What's going on Sash?" His face looked concerned and it broke my heart. I went to talk and he spoke first. "Is it because of the anniversary?" I looked up at the bathroom mirror, trying to fix my face.

"What anniversary? Liv's?"

"You know what anniversary I'm talking about. Why didn't you tell me?" Zeke said softly.

"Oh sorry." I looked up to a young woman attempting to enter the toilets. Zeke ignored her, his eyes on me.

"No our fault," I mumbled, grabbing his hand and walking out of the ladies. The party was in full swing now, people dancing and drinking at the bar. I couldn't see Liv and Zeke moved me over to a small sofa, grabbing me to sit down.

"How do you know?" I asked him.

"Your sister obviously told me. Said you can be funny around this time."

"Funny?"

"Sash stop you know what I mean. It's normal to feel like this, you know. Just don't push me away". I nodded, listening to him.

"It's next Friday" I coughed out.

"How long?" His eyes on mine.

"Two years". Zeke sat back on the sofa, grabbing me to his side. I refused to cry in front of the whole party and bit my bottom lip.

"Fuck that's so recent. I did not know it was that recent Sash." I buried my face into Zeke’s side as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"Why didn't you tell me, you said a few years ago."

"Because I don't like to talk about it as you may have noticed". I chuckled. Zeke kept hold of me for a while, my face not leaving his side.

"Sorry if I've been a bit funny," I whispered. Zeke moved his head down to my face, he clearly didn't hear me.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine" he said like it was the most normal thing in the world. "I'm going to shut up about your mum. It's not my business and maybe in a couple of years you can sort it out."

"Hmmm" I mumbled. I realised I was still being unfair and sat up, moving Zeke’s hand to my thigh. "Sorry. I'm not being nice to you and you came all this way after sorting it out." I fluffed my hair. "I'm being a stupid bitch". Zeke started laughing, grabbing my face with his hand.

"I don't know how to help you with this, I'm not going to try and fake it. But I'm going to fucking try. You need to stop beating yourself up about this baby, it is not your fault. It isn't your fault your dad died". I felt more tears and nodded quickly. "I'm going to be there for you. Even though I have all my shit to sort," he chuckled. I dropped my shoulders.

"That was below the belt I'm sorry".

"Nah it's cool, I know it bothers you". Zeke shrugged. I moved closer to him, feeling like he was the only person in the room.

"It doesn't, I worry about you. I'm terrified all of a sudden you are going to go to prison and I don't know why". Zeke moved his head in confusion, rubbing his thumb on my thigh. "Also I have to ask," my hand was shaking and I was terrified he was going to get angry. It wasn't an emotion that I had ever seen him experience but the thought scared me the same. "Your offence, like was it just drugs?" I felt a sense of relief as Zeke smiled.

"Why do you ask?"

"It's just probation seems to be up your arse and it's weird". Zeke laughed, wrapping his arm around me again, we sat back on the sofa.

"My exact offence was possession and distribution of a class A drug," he chuckled. "Probation isn't necessarily up my arse it's just I have only just got out. I did half of my sentence and you know," he laughed. I looked up at his face. "The street value was like two million."

"I'm sorry?" I had to laugh.

"Yeah I sold shit loads of drugs Sash! Like so many!" He laughed. "And I've been in prison before for something similar".

"Oh" I certainly didn't know that. "Can you do me a favour?" I asked him.

"Yeah of course."

"Can you stop selling shit loads of drugs?" Zeke moved forward laughing, grabbing me tighter.

"I won't, I made a promise to my mum. I can't go to Nigeria and see her and it's a nightmare. Also I will make a promise to you." He kissed my temple and I fell into him, moving him so he was nearly hanging off the sofa. "Sash!" He laughed, as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You guys made up?" I looked up at Liv and I nearly cried again.

"I'm sorry, Liv I was being" I started.

"Shut up. Just stop. You need to talk to me more, you do this all the time. Dad's birthday, Christmas, anniversary. That's okay, you will feel like that for ages Sash, just fucking talk to me or Zeke. Don't bottle it because that's when you break". I stared at my older sister. Liv was six years older than me and she acted like she was my mum most of the time.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm trying to figure this out". I stood up and Liv embraced me.

"We both are." She whispered in my ear.