SWNOVELS Chapter 15
Rummaging through my brother’s belongings is as boring as watching paint dry. Because despite his immense and expensive whisky collection, Alek doesn’t splurge on many things. His house staff have hidden themselves away after my intrusion, and I’ve been throwing his shirts from hangers in fits of rage ever since.
Vance stands at the door as Clay walks in with a pot of herbal tea. All of my favourite flavors are in Alek’s kitchen because I made it so. Clay sets the tray down as he quietly says, “Miss, this is the fourteenth time you’ve searched for a clue in your brother’s home. I don’t think there’s anything here. Perhaps you should get some rest.”
“Luckily, I don’t pay you enough to think,” I snap back.
He says nothing more as he carefully pours the tea. I sigh and want to crumple to the floor, not that I ever would in front of anyone.
I take one of Alek’s shirts, bring it to my nose, and inhale, the remains of his cologne still there, bringing my thundering heart to ease. I know he’s not dead. But what if…?
No, not Alek. Never.
But why would he leave me behind?
Was I not enough to trust with his secret?
Was I a nuisance instead of someone who could help?
I shake my head, knocking the insecure thoughts out. They have no place in my world. I refuse to go down some dramatic rabbit hole, questioning my brother’s loyalty and opinion of me.
After standing, I take the cup of tea and sit at the end of Alek’s bed. Looking around his room, I realize how bland it is. Well, if I’m comparing it to my own lavish tastes. The only painting on the wall is one of a ballet dancer. I never quite understood his fascination with the eyesore, but I’d allowed it since it was something besides neutral tones like the rest of his house.
Clay drops to his knees and removes one of my heels as he begins to massage my foot. I sigh in relief as I look between him and Vance. I know they don’t care about me; I’m just a paycheck to them. I wonder, however, if I didn’t have them during these months, whether I would’ve lost my mind entirely. Most likely not. I would’ve managed as I always do.
His strong fingers move up my calves as he kneads the muscle, and it stirs an entirely different demand from me. I haven’t fucked in days. Although my men don’t listen to River, I don’t want to risk him sticking to his word if they touch me. And I think he was deadly serious in his threat.
“That’s enough, Clay,” I say, then take a sip of tea, becoming far too carried away by my desperate need to get off. “Both of you, leave the room.”
They curtly nod, and I watch as their burly figures leave. I walk over to the side table and place my tea down as I open my phone and look at the image of my brother and me when we were kids. I call the most recent number—Alek’s.
It rings.
And it rings.
Until it hits voicemail.
I sigh before the avalanche of pent-up rage releases. “Alek? Where the fuck are you? I’m going crazy here. And more than my usual crazy self. Do you know what shit you’ve left me in? River is basically blackmailing me to fill your shoes and pay the debt you left. I either let him buy in and permit him to do business or I kill him. And if I kill him, I’ll probably get myself into more trouble. Besides, killing is usually your job.
“Where the fuck are you? I can’t stand this man. All he wants to do is own me! Like every other fucking man in this world. But this one has a serious screw loose.” I let out a deranged laugh as I look at Alek’s empty bed. The absence of him growing larger and larger.
There isn’t meant to be a world without Alek in it. We were always in this together. I always had him to depend on. He was the only person I had to talk to.
And now he’s gone.
“Alek, what the fuck is happening? Do you need me to help? I can help! You know I can do anything. Just fucking call me back! And I’m tired! Hurry the fuck up and get back home!”
I hang up, but as quickly as the anger built, it washes away into something else. I feel empty. Alone. Isolated. Just like when we went through foster care, I’m unable to control my fate or reality. But at least I had Alek. We had each other.
Something wet runs down my cheek. Shocked, I put my finger on it. I’m in disbelief, so I turn to face the mirror near the side table. A tear. Me? Crying?
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I say to myself. “Fuck no. We are not doing this.” I wipe it away defiantly. I can’t remember crying since… since we found out about our parents abandoning us. I was quick to learn no one liked a crying child. Or a crying adult.
My phone buzzes, and I unlock it, rolling my shoulders back and forth, certain I have a knot in there.
Fuckface: Tanya, good news. I have a business meeting. Be ready at seven for our date.
I blow out a hot breath. This motherfucker. I press against my temples, reminding myself repeatedly that murdering him will come with consequences.
But when have I ever cared for about that before?