SWNOVELS Cross-Checked Hearts: Chapter 4
We end up at O’Hallarans, which is where I had originally suggested going, but I didn’t think August would be sending me on a secondary mission while we are here. I just wanted to come here and grab a bite to eat, maybe get a beer or two.
Instead, I’m standing here at the bar, waiting for Poppy to be done serving some of the guys on the other side while Isla and August are sitting at a table across the room from me. I slowly spin my bottle of beer on the bar top as I attempt to wait with patience.
It doesn’t take Poppy but a few more minutes before she strides over to me, a frown forming on her face. “What’s up, Knight?”
Most people know me by my last name, just because of my status on the hockey team. We come here a lot after games with our teammates and that’s what they all call me. I don’t even know if most people know what my real first name is, but I’m so used to being called Knight, I don’t bother correcting anyone.
Isla is the only one who really calls me by my first name. And there’s something about the way my name sounds rolling off her tongue that makes me want to taste it on her lips.
“So, I owe you an apology.”
Poppy’s brows draw together and she tilts her head to the side. “Um, for what exactly? Because last time I checked, we barely ever even interact, except when you’re here ordering drinks.”
My nostrils flare as I inhale deeply. “For the night you were hanging out with August.”
Poppy purses her lips and crosses her arms over her chest as she looks past me, no doubt, her eyes landing on August as she picks him out from across the room. “If anyone owes me an apology, it’s him. Who the hell invites you over to hang out and then has another girl end up on your lap?”
“Which is my fault…” my voice trails off as I take a swig of my beer. “Ella is a friend of ours and I met her and a few other people for drinks that night. She ended up getting completely shit-faced and I couldn’t leave her here. She refused to tell me what room she was in, so I figured I would bring her to our apartment to sleep it off. I didn’t realize you were there and I didn’t realize she had a thing for August.”
“Mhmm, sure.” Poppy glances around the bar. “Look, I appreciate you taking the time to say something to me, but I really gotta get back to work. Just let August know that it doesn’t mean shit until I hear him grovel.”
I watch as she spins on her heel, a smile plastered to her face as she makes her way over to a couple that just sat down on the other side of the bar. A sigh slips from my lips and I grab my beer and head over to the table that Isla and August are sitting at.
Isla sips on her water, her eyes meeting mine as I slide into the booth next to her. I hear the sharp intake of her breath as my thigh brushes against hers, but I don’t bother moving, leaving my leg pressed against hers.
“So…” August folds his arms on the table, leaning forward as he stares at me. “What did she say? Did you tell her what really happened?”
I nod. “You’re still in the dog house, dude. You’re going to have to talk to her and smooth things out. She wanted me to tell you the explanation doesn’t mean a thing until she hears it from you.” I pause, a smirk forming on my lips as I stare back at him. “And she wants you to grovel.”
“Fuck,” August mumbles, lifting his beer to his lips as he takes a swig. ‘I mean, it’s not like we’re together, so technically, I’m free to do whatever I want with whomever I want.”
The cushion of the bench shifts and I feel Isla’s leg move as she kicks August in the shin. He winces, cutting his eyes at her. “What the hell was that for?”
“Don’t be such a pig, August,” Isla scolds him with a look of disgust on her face. “Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Just because you guys aren’t in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t show her some respect.”
“I am respectful,” August argues as he lifts his gaze to our server. We all fall silent for a moment as she sets our plates in front of us on the table. August smiles at her and waits until she’s gone before he continues. “I’m just saying, she’s blowing this out of proportion because we aren’t together.”
“Is she really, though?” Isla retorts, picking up a fry from her plate as she pops it into her mouth. “If roles were reversed, how would you feel? You wouldn’t be pissed off and hurt like she is right now?”
August chuckles around a mouthful of burger. I go to reach for the bottle of ketchup at the other side of the table, but Isla grabs it as she sees me moving for it. A soft smile touches her lips as she hands it to me. I wrap my hands around the bottle, my fingertips brushing against hers. She inhales deeply and a warmth spreads through my stomach as the feeling of her sets my skin on fire.
Goddamn. In an instant, it all comes rushing back. The stolen kisses and the secretive touches in her bed late at night. I missed her. And even though I know it could never be any more than what it once was, I still want to feel that again with her.
Isla quickly lets go of the ketchup and quickly recovers as she begins to eat her sandwich that she ordered. I dump some of the condiment onto my plate as August doesn’t pick up on anything that just happened between us.
“She’s right, August,” I tell him, dipping a fry in the ketchup. “You know that if some guy came onto Poppy like that while the two of you were hanging out, you wouldn’t have been happy about it.”
August glances back and forth between the two of us. “You two are supposed to be on my side, you know.”
“Not when you’re in the wrong,” Isla retorts, smiling sweetly as she takes a sip of her water. “Either make things right with her or let the poor girl move on.”
“Fine,” August submits, taking a gulp of his beer. “Let me finish my burger and then I’ll go talk to her.”
I grab his plate, sliding it away from him and Isla’s laughter makes my heart smile. “Go talk to her now, because I don’t want to be here all night while you sit around at the bar staring at Poppy’s ass.”
“Jesus, fine.” August lets out an exasperated sigh as he raises his hands in defeat. “I’ll go fucking talk to her.” He grabs his beer and as he’s sliding out of the booth, he grabs his plate of food. “I’m taking this with me, though.”
Isla and I both laugh lightly at his dumb ass as he makes his way across the room and over to the bar. I glance over at her, catching her gaze already on mine. Her cheeks instantly blush, a soft pink tint consuming them as she drops her gaze down to her plate. She grabs a handful of fries and shoves them into her mouth.
This damn girl…
I take a sip of my beer, setting it down on the table before turning in my seat to face her. “I know that I said that I wanted to talk to you after dinner, but maybe we can talk now?”
“Um,” she pauses, taking a nervous sip of her water to wash down the handful of fries she just swallowed. “Sure, I guess.”
I swallow hard, my eyes bouncing back and forth between hers. She stares back at me, her hazel eyes filled with an emotion I can’t pinpoint. They widen slightly and I can see a wave of fear pass through them. She’s on edge right now because she doesn’t know what to expect from me and I instantly feel guilty.
Over the years, I programmed her to be that way without even trying. In the past, there was never anything predictable from me. I played games with her heart—her young, fragile, teenage heart—and I fucking hate myself for doing that. That doesn’t mean I didn’t mean anything that happened between us, I just know what I knew then. She is off-limits and always was. It was wrong of me to ever act on my impulses with her.
I’ve conditioned her to not know what to expect from me and I want to change that.
“I wanted to apologize to you, for the way I left.”
Her eyebrows draw close together and she tilts her head to the side. “I don’t know why you’re apologizing. I didn’t expect for you to be there in the morning. It was kind of the way you did things back then, Logan.”
My throat constricts and her words feel like a blade to my heart. “I know, but I should have at least said goodbye, but I was too much of a coward. I knew if I saw you that morning, you would have had the power to make me stay.”
Isla’s lips part slightly, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths as her eyes widen. “Logan… I would never ask you to give up your dreams.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” I pause for a moment, mulling over my words, but I’m done holding back now. She deserves my honesty if we’re going to be roommates. “I knew how I felt about you then. Just one look from you would have had me questioning my entire future.”
Isla takes a gulp of her water, her throat bobbing roughly as she swallows. “We don’t have to do this, Logan. I don’t want to go back over the past. It is what it is.”
I shake my head. “It was wrong of me. I never should have acted on my impulse and those feelings. We both know why it would have never worked.”
“I know,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “Like I said… we don’t have to do this, okay?”
“Just listen, please…” I stare at her, my eyes desperately searching hers. I can see the hurt in her expression and that’s not what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to save us both from the destruction that this could cause. “I wasn’t a good friend to you in the past and I’d like a chance to make things right.”
She stares back at me, blinking a few times. “What do you mean?”
“I want to be a better friend to you, Isla… if you’ll let me.”
Her eyes don’t leave mine, but I watch as her expression transforms into something that resembles hope. The gold and green hues in her warm irises swirl. “You want to just be friends?”
I nod, grabbing my beer as I take a nervous sip of it. It’s not what I really want, but it’s the best that I can do. And if we can only be friends, I’ll be the best fucking friend she’s ever had.
Isla smiles and my heart stops at the sight of her.
“I would like that.”