Crimson Red, Cerulean Blue

(Blue)

“She’s not back yet.”

I poked at the fire with a stick, mostly to relieve my worry rather than to actually keep it going. “Green’s usually not this irresponsible.”

“I still cannot believe that I was singing about cupcakes while Orange and Green had this huge fight and Miss Annoying stomped off,” Red muttered. A while ago, Orange had punched his lights out when his constant singing finally tipped him over the edge, which had somehow (don’t ask me how) brought him back when he’d woken up two hours later. “And I also still have a freaking headache. Don’t we have any aspirin or whatever?”

“Not unless you grabbed any, because I definitely didn’t.”

“Greeeaaat. We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere with no food, no water, and a headache the size of Rogue City.” He slumped, sulking. “I hate this.”

I wasn’t liking this scenario either. Red was miserable because of his headache, and Orange was still steamed about Green and wasn’t talking to anyone, both of which didn’t exactly make me want to get up and dance. The atmosphere in our camp was not a happy one.

The night was freezing, and for the fiftieth time, I wished I’d worn something warmer. I was practically sitting in the fire, but it was still freakishly cold.

“Here.”

Something warm thumped me in the back, and I turned, catching it before it slid to the ground. I looked up, staring from the jacket in my hands to Red.

“I can’t take this.”

“I don’t need it, and you’re freezing. The last thing we need is for you to catch pneumonia, so just take it.”

“But it’s yours.”

“I’m aware of that. Put the stupid jacket on, Blue, and don’t argue because my head is going to split if you do.”

I pulled it on, not looking at him, and muttered, “Thanks.”

“Welcome.”

The camp was almost unbearably silent for the next couple of minutes, except for the crickets chirping. I couldn’t stand it, so I spoke the first sentence that came to mind.

“He was pretty upset when she stormed off,” I commented as quietly as possible, watching Orange sit, arms folded, unnaturally still, in the exact same spot he’d been at for over an hour.

“Yeah, he would be.” Red’s voice floated over to me from the ground where he was stretched out, gazing at the stars. “That’s because he and Green… She’s the one who’s experienced the kind of pain closest to what he has.”

I glanced at him, recalling her words. You don’t know how it feels to be willing to do anything for revenge! You just don’t know!

“It has to do with revenge, doesn’t it?”

Red raised his eyebrows. “Did she… Did she tell you?”

“No. But when they were arguing earlier, Green was yelling at Orange about how he didn’t understand how it felt to want revenge. To be willing to do anything for revenge.” I looked at him. “Do you know what she meant by that?”

I was stunned to see a flash of pain appear on his face, Red turning away to hide it a little too late.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I know all about that.”

He shook his head as if to clear out whatever he was thinking, then turned back, a forced half-smile on his face. “Did she really tell Orange he doesn’t know anything about revenge?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“How’d he react to that one?”

I bit my lip. “That’s what I’m wondering about. He told her he knows everything about revenge. Both sides of it. What did he mean by that?”

“He means that he knows both sides of revenge,” was the cryptic response. “Me, Green, Orange… We’ve all got issues with revenge. Orange most of all.”

“Yours has something to do with Reuben, doesn’t it?”

I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the words slipped out anyway. Red’s eyes flashed with hurt, and he looked away again.

“Yeah.”

My fingers squeezed the hem of my skirt, wishing I could take it back. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s fine. But hey, you’ve been questioning me for a while now.” He sat up, turning around to face me with a half-smile on his face. “Why don’t you tell me about you?”

I blinked. “About…me?”

“Yup. You’re supposed to be my best friend, but I barely know anything about you. So tell me about you.”

I stared at him like he was crazy, completely thrown off. “What… What do you want to know?”

“Well… Since you’ve been interrogating me about my past, let me ask you about yours. You’re not a revenge seeker, I could tell that much. So what is it?”

I shrugged, not looking at him. “I’ll make you a deal. You tell me about yours, I tell you about mine.”

Red blinked. “What?”

“It’s a fair deal, right?”

He hesitated, actually thinking it over.

“You don’t have to, you know. I’d be fine either way.”

But then he looked at me, his eyes hard. “Promise me something?”

“… What?”

“Promise… Promise you won’t think of me any differently if I tell you?”

I glanced at him, biting my lip. “Is it something that would make me think differently about you?”

He looked away. “I-It might. Just tell me. You swear you won’t think of me any differently if I tell you?”

I chose my next words carefully, and I meant everything I said. “Whatever you did, Red, it doesn’t make you a different person. It doesn’t make you anyone but yourself. You’re still going to be my best friend, right?” I turned to face him. “There’s no way I could think of you any differently.”

He looked down, and for a second, I thought he wasn’t going to say anything. But then he sighed, a long, tired sigh, and started talking, his voice so quiet it was almost inaudible.

“Reuben… was my best friend,” he began, fingers nervously twisting the hem of his shirt. “Before you, you know? He saved me from these bullies one day, and we… were pretty much inseparable ever since.”

Red paused, taking a long, shaky breath. The next part came out all cracked and wobbly, so very, very close to being broken beyond repair.

“H-He was t-the best friend anyone c-could have. He stuck u-up for everyone, and a-always smiled no m-matter what. He stuck up for me. Th-The outcast, the one no one… no one cared about. H-He… he was like the only f-family I ever had.”

His face crumpled, and I knew the tragedy was coming next. The part that hurt like nothing else ever could.

“A-And then one day, I was being an idiot. And I… I dragged him along into my stupid plans, because I was an idiot. E-Everything and everyone was telling me it was a stupid idea, but I was an idiot, and I didn’t l-listen. I didn’t freaking listen.” Red looked at me, and the hurt in his eyes made my heart twist into a painful knot. “S-so I went after Argot, w-with only my barely developed magic and the only friend I had in the world, who had absolutely nothing to do with this stupid war and should never have had anything to do with it in the first place.”

His voice cracked. “Guess who made it out and who didn’t.”

Silence followed.

I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? How in the world were you supposed to respond to a story like that? What was there to say when someone spills their heart out in front of you like that?

I had absolutely no clue, but I had to do something. So I took a deep breath and performed the most basic form of comfort I could think of – I leaned forward and gave him a hug.

To my surprise, he didn’t freak out or jerk away or anything. Just took a deep breath and let it out shakily, then gently pushed me away.

“I’m fine, Blue.” He forced a smile so fake, it wasn’t even funny. “It’s all in the past, anyway.”

He looked away again, trying and failing miserably to hide his tears. “It doesn’t really matter.”

My response came out so firmly, it surprised even me. “It does.”

I barreled on before he could interrupt, my heart thumping with the words that

described everything I’d felt that awful, awful day long ago. “You’re hurting like heck inside, aren’t you? It hurts to lose people. It really, really hurts. More than anything else in the world.”

Before I even knew it, my eyes were brimming with tears I’d kept back for years, which seriously irritated me because I wasn’t supposed to be the one crying here. It wasn’t my story that had just been told.

But it’d hit pretty darn close to home anyway, because I knew how it felt to love and lose. The hurt stuck with you for a long time, like throbbing scars that were easier to rip open than you’d think. Way, way too easy.

Red blinked at me, some of the hurt in his expression replaced with surprise. “Blue, have you…”

Before I could think rationally about it and stop myself, I blurted out the thing I’d never, ever told anyone else before in my life. The secret I thought I’d keep with me to my grave. The secret that had been weighing me down since that day.

The day I’d been left behind.

“I think I had a brother.”

Red opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I had to get this out now, no matter what.

“Sometimes…” I continued, the words spilling out of me like a waterfall, “Sometimes, when I concentrate really hard, I can almost remember him, like little patches here and there. He was the one who took care of me after the mind-wipe. The one who kept me alive the whole time, and hoping.”

My voice grew quieter. “He was my whole world.”

Red was quiet for a moment, but then he glanced at me, frowning. “He was with you after the mind-wipe? Then why…”

“Yeah. And yet I can’t remember him.” I stared at my lap, my voice cracking. “I don’t even know why. I don’t know what happened to him. All I know is, I woke up one day, and he was gone. Just vanished into thin air like he’d never even been there at all. I don’t remember his name. I don’t know if he’s still alive. I don’t even remember his face. Even if I saw him on the street someday… I don’t think I’d recognize him at all.”

I forced a watery smile. “Actually, maybe that’s why I never really warmed up to people all that much. Because… Because I’m scared. I’m terrified. I just…”

My voice wobbled slightly on the last sentence. “I just don’t ever want to be left alone like that ever again.”

I was staring at my lap, biting my lip hard and trying to force back the tears that had already come, so I hadn’t even seen it coming. But then, out of nowhere, I was enveloped in something incredibly warm. Warmer than any other natural thing in the middle of nowhere should ever be.

Red, returning the favor.

“So let’s make a deal, okay?” He smiled, a smile tinged with sadness, but a smile nonetheless. “I’ll stick by your side – and you tell me whenever I’m about to be more of a stupid idiot than I usually am. Cool?”

I laughed through my tears, because honestly, how could I not? “Cool.”

And then, out of nowhere, a very familiar voice interrupted the moment.

“Hey, if you two lovebirds are done chatting, you might wanna turn around. I’ve got some news for you here!”