Crimes of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 3)

When we get back to the manor, Zalit and Belren come out to greet us. “What happened?” Zalit asks, looking at all of our grim expressions.

“Prince Elphar made his first strike,” Princess Soora answers.

Zalit presses his orange lips into a thin line. “I’ll get the commanders gathered.”

“That secret island,” I blurt out. “Did you guys ever figure out what’s on it?”

Zalit shakes his head. “We have no way of getting past his barrier. It’s even stronger than Soora’s barriers, and that’s saying something, since she’s one of the most talented in that type of glamour and barrier magic. But we know now that he’s been keeping at least part of his army there. Our spies would’ve told us about any militia movement from the kingdom island otherwise. They wouldn’t have been able to sneak attack the genfin island if they’d used those forces. We have too many eyes there.”

“So we need to figure out what kind of force he has on this secret island and whatever else he might be hiding there,” I muse.

“The phoukas,” Sylred says suddenly. “Those animals aren’t trainable. He must’ve captured some and kept them hidden until today’s attack when he let them loose on our island.”

“Who knows what else he has there,” Zalit says gravely.

I blow out a breath. “Okay, well, I guess it’s time to find out.”

Evert narrows his eyes. “Don’t you even fucking think about it.”

I throw up my hands. “Well, what do you want us to do?”

Evert takes three long strides forward until he’s towering over me, a terrific scowl over his face. “Did you not learn your lesson after leaving the first time? Or do you need me to punish you again?” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “Do you need to be reminded what happens to our alpha every time you pull this shit?”

I shove his chest away, but I only manage to push myself backwards. Stupid strong genfin.

Keeping his feet planted in place, he gives a pointed look at Ronak, who is sticking right at my side, his animal eyes darting left and right as he watches the many guards around us. His tail flicks with agitation as he bares his teeth at anyone who gets too close.

“You gave me your word,” Evert reminds me, and just like that, all of the defensiveness leaks out of me.

He’s right. I did. I promised I wouldn’t leave him again.

I blow out a breath and instead of trying to push him away, my hand instead fists his shirt. “You’re right,” I admit.

He opens his mouth to argue some more, only to widen his eyes in surprise. “Wait. You’re not gonna argue with me?”

I shake my head. “No. But we still need to find out what’s on the prince’s island. So we’re gonna need…help.”

Pink smoke puffs to life in front of me as Lex appears.

Ronak snarls at her, but I grab him by the tail like it’s a leash, stopping him from launching at her. He makes a strangled sound as his snarl turns into a sort of whimpered groan.

“Ro-Ro, this is my good friend, Lex. No attacking her, okay?” I tell him.

The tail I’m holding goes stiff in my hand, and Evert gives me a smirk. “Keep doing that, and your fearless alpha is gonna come in his pants.”

Oh.

I quickly drop his tail, but the alpha just wraps it around my waist and presses up against me so that his erection digs into my back. I do my best to ignore him as he starts nuzzling my hair, but I can hear Evert sniggering under his breath.

The guards raise their swords at Lex, surrounding the princess protectively, but Belren flicks his wrists, sending all of their blades pointing up at the sky again. “She’s not an enemy,” Belren snaps. “Don’t point your blades at her.”

Lex looks at Belren and I see a shy, small smile pull at the corners of her lips. Well, well, well. Maybe my go-getter cupid assistant is warming up to the idea of being seduced after all.

“It’s alright,” Princess Soora tells the guards. “Stand down.”

Belren releases control, and the guards back down as instructed.

“Hello,” Lex says, continuing to smile politely. I’m pretty sure every guard softens under the sweet smile. Or the boobs. It could be the awesome boobs.

“Hey, Lex,” I say. “I was wondering if you could help me with a mission?”

Belren storms over. “Absolutely not. You cannot send her to the prince’s island alone.”

A smile creeps over my face. Oh man, he has it hard for her. And… My eyes flick down to the front of his pants. Yep. That’s hard, too.

“Aww. I think it’s cute you have a crush on her,” I tell him.

Through the hole in his mask, I see his lip pull back in a sneer. “The Horned Hook does not have crushes.”

“Mmmhmm, sure,” I say, brushing his answer off. He’s a big old lying liar face, because I can sniff his crush a mile away, but I’ll be the bigger person here and let it go. “Anyway, you have a point.” I tap my lips in thought. “Lex, I know I’m able to pull you into this realm because you’re my assistant, but what about other cupids?”

“Oh, yes,” she nods and motions toward my hands. “That’s part of your Head of Cupidity powers. You simply have to call the number…or name of the cupid you wish to summon. Those powers also enable you to create cupids from new recruits.”

I look down at my mark with new respect. “Huh. Good to know. Thanks, Lex.”

I shake my hand a bit to make it start glowing, and it immediately lights up like radioactive bubblegum.

Clearing my throat, I rub my hands together, and following my cupidly awesome instincts, I reach through the Veil and pluck a cupid right through space and time.

Another pink puff of smoke appears and then there’s Sev in all of his pretty glory…with his pants around his ankles.

“Fooking shite on a clock! You’ve got the worst fooking timing to snatch me out!” He glares over at me, his dick still out, and I can’t help but stare.

“Is that…pink glitter?”

Sev looks down at his dick like he isn’t sure what I’m talking about. “Oh. That. It’s my fooking spunk, innit? Must be a cupid thing.”

I blink at it, unable to look away, until Evert stomps over and shoves a hand over my eyes. “Pull up your fucking pants,” he snaps at Sev.

“Aye, keep your tail tucked,” Sev mumbles, and I hear him start to pull up his clothes.

“Are you saying that your cum…comes out like pink glitter?” I ask, because I feel like I need to make sure. I shove Evert’s hand off my eyes as Sev finishes tying up his pants. The evidence of his activity is still apparent on his hands, though. Huh. Who knew male cupid cum would be so pretty?

“Aye, that’s what I’m sayin,” Sev confirms. “Shoulda seen her, too,” he says with a wicked grin. “Had me paint her tits with it. You want me to paint you, boss?” he asks, giving me a wink.

“I will rip off your fucking head and feed it to the harpies,” Evert growls.

“Easy, he’s just kidding,” I tell my pissed off mate. “Sev’s harmless.”

Evert shakes his head and mumbles something about “fucking cupids.”

I smile at him. “You’re so sexy when you get all possessive. I appreciate the reaction.”

The anger immediately dissipates from his face, and he flashes me his dimples. “Yeah? Why don’t you come over here and show me just how much you appreciate it by giving me a reaction of your own? Preferably one that ends with you screaming my name into my ear.”

I nod thoughtfully. “Yeah, we can totally do that. Later.”

Seeing that Evert is no longer thinking murderous thoughts against my cupid, I turn back to Sev. Now that he’s dressed, Sev takes a moment to look around. Seeing everyone circled around him, he claps and rubs his hands together, looking pleased as hell. “Is this an orgy invite, then? About fooking time!

He saunters up to Evert with all the swagger in the realms. “I’ll start with the angry one, and then…” Sev looks around like we’re all inventory before settling his eyes on the princess. “And then get a taste of this pretty fooking purple flower. How are you, luv?”

The guards raise their swords again, but this time, Belren doesn’t stop them.

I sigh. Evert looks pissed again, dammit. “Sev, you can’t have sex with Evert or the princess. I called you here for official cupid business. Well, sorta.”

He groans and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Fooking hell, boss. I’ve been right workin’ off my arse since you left. It can’t be all work and no play.”

“Actually,” Lex pipes in. “You have had exactly twelve sexual relations since being promoted,” she tilts her head as she looks at his glittery palms. “Not including this incident.”

“Don’t be a fooking clipe!” he tells her. Whatever the hell that means.

I give him a pointed look. “Really, Sev? Twelve?”

He shrugs. “I’m making up for lost time, boss.”

Well, I can’t fault him for that. I open my mouth to tell them my plan, but stop when I notice their shirts. I hadn’t noticed before because, well, the pink glitter cum and his exposed penis sort of stole the show. “What are you two wearing?”

Lex looks down at her pink shirt that says, “Kiss Me I’m Cupid” on the front.

“Sev has taken it upon himself to give some of us new uniforms. This was the least sexual choice,” she tells me honestly.

I look over to Sev and see that he’s wearing one that says, “I blow & shoot for a living.”

“Tryin’ out some new uniforms, ain’t I?” Sev says proudly.

“How very…creative of you.”

“Bet your right rump it is,” he nods in agreement.

“Don’t talk about her rump,” Evert snaps.

I reach down and curl my fingers through Evert’s, mostly to keep him from lunging at Sev. “Could you back away from the princess, Sev? You’re making the guards nervous,” I tell him.

He looks behind him like he’s just now noticing the swords pointed at him, and he runs a hand through his pink hair. “If you’re gonna point your swords at me, you can at least get me a fooking drink first.” He winks at them and draws a hand up one of the swords seductively. When the guard blanches, Sev’s grin widens. “Aye, this one wants to skelp my arse, don’t you? You right gantin’.”

The guard just swallows and looks quickly away.

“Sev,” I say, drawing his attention back to me. “Focus. I need you and Lex to do something for me, and it’s really important.”

He groans. “Fine. But I get to spend some time with these fae when I’m done, get it?”

I wave a hand. “Fine, fine. But no cupid tricks,” I say, pointing at him. “You can’t be Lusting fae left and right to get people into your pants.”

He scoffs. “Like I even need to. I’m prettier than you are, luv.”

He’s not wrong.

“Alright, what the gobbin’ shite do we need to do for your bossiness?”

I quickly relay the story about the prince, the war, and the secret island. When I’m done, Sev whistles. “You got yourself in a right load of shite with this realm, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Can you guys handle this?”

“Course we can,” he says confidently. “Us two will find out what His Royal Shitehead is up to, won’t we cupid sixty-nine?” he asks Lex. “Then maybe we’ll do a little pre-orgy celebration, aye?”

Belren flicks his wrist, sending Sev careening toward a pair of guards, who barely manage to catch him.

“She’s not participating in any orgies, with you or otherwise,” Belren tells him stonily.

Sev just brushes himself off and laughs. “These fooking fae are a trip, aye boss? I can see why you like the place.”

“Sev. Behave,” I plead.

He waves me off. “Alright, alright. You ain’t need to worry, boss.”

“Lex?” I check with her.

“Of course, Madame Cupid Emelle. We can handle this.”

“Thank you. Princess Soora will give you the coordinates of where she believes this island is. Go into the Veil, do a little spying, and come right back. I’ll call you back to visibility in…twelve hours.”

“Then you throw us an orgy?” Sev supplies.

“No.”

Sev curses under his breath and looks at me like I’m being unreasonable.

I turn to Lex. “Keep an eye on him, would you?”

Her left eye twitches, but she still manages a polite nod. “Of course.”

“Okay. Good luck. Find out as much as you can.”

Both cupids disappear in another pink cloud, and I’m left with a scowling Belren. “She’s going to be fine,” I assure him. “I wouldn’t send them if I thought they’d be in any sort of danger. I promise.”

He doesn’t reply, just turns on his heel and stalks away. Yep. He’s crushing so hard.