Contraclockwise

“How are you?” I shyly ask Mrs. Casper.
She turns to look at me and smile at me. “I’m fine.” She replied.
It’s noticeable that her eyes are always red from crying. “Can I see him?” I ask and she nods as a reply.
I stopped from walking towards him; I don’t know what to do, what to say and how will I look at him.
*I was taken aback from the shock after I saw him turn to look at me without any emotion written on his face. “Happy now, Glim?
Are you happy seeing me miserable?” he said full of resentment. I shook my head. “Why are you here?” the pain in his eyes was
shown.
"I'm sorry, Flood." I don’t understand why but that’s the only words came out from my mouth from that very moment.
"I don't need your sorry, Glimmer. I need you. Do you get it? I need you to be with me! I need you to come back. I need you in my
life!” he said holding back his raised voice but all I can do is to shake my head. “Why can’t you understand?”he finally shout. The
nurse and his family went in after they heard him shouting. “Mom and all of you stay out of this!” he said with madness.
“Glimmer, what are the things that you don’t understand from the things I said to you?” he said pleading, begging. I just cried.
“Glimmer, I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
"Flood, I'm not yet ready." I said crying. “But I’m here already. Moreover, you don’t have to be miserable like that, I just need air
to breathe. If you really love me, you can and you will wait for me.” I said between my hiccups.

“Why do you need to distance yourself? I can give you space but I don’t like the idea of breaking up because breaking up
consists of moving on and moving on is a process of accepting that we can’t be together. You’re the one that I want to spent the
rest of my life with. Glim, please... don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t take our child away from me.” I just shook my
head and left.
I went far away from everything; no one knew where I went. I also don’t know why I went away and live my life alone while I’m
pregnant with his child. We were both happy but after I found out I do carry his child, I started to avoid him. I do miss him
whenever I don’t see him but the feeling of avoiding him is so strong and I don’t know what’s the reason, why.*
I’m taken aback when I saw him turning and no emotion on his eyes while looking at me. This scene is so familiar but I set it
aside and smiled at him. “How are you, Storm?”
He smiled at me, I don’t know why but whenever he sees me... it seems like the pain that he feels is going away. “I’m fine, Glim.
How about you and Flood?”
I shook my head. “Negative.”
“Flood still loves you, he’s just denying it.” He said. I just smiled. “Once both of you were okay, I’ll ask Flood that I’ll be your ring
bearer.”
"I'll gladly list you as our ring bearer when that time comes."

"In your dreams." I heard a man’s voice behind me.
I stop as if I’m a statue. I’m caught visiting his brother. He walk towards me and pulled me out of the room. “How many times do I
have to tell you, stay away from my brother!”
I inhaled first. “I can’t. This hospital is calling me to donate bone marrow because your brother and I are match! Besid—”
"What?" he asked irritably.
“Nothing. I’m not going to stop to visit him every time the hospital is calling me. Have mercy to your brother! All you have to do is
to say yes and your brother is live longer!” I said then leave.
I’m in my apartment, I’m startled when I saw Sapience sitting on the sofa while staring at me. “How did you get in?”
“The door is open.” He said without any emotion.
“What’s that?” I asked pointing the grocery bag on the table.
"Soft drinks."

“Whoa! What is that? Are you going to make yourself drunk from those soft drinks and I will have to send you to the hospital
because of acidity?”
He laughed. “No, Wisdom asked me to buy that. Come with me.”
“Where?”
“To my cousins’ house, I’m sure Levi is there.” He said. “It’ll be awkward if I just go there alone.”
“Then, let us not come, Sapie.” I suggested.
“Why?”
“It’ll be the most awkward scene if we’ll go there together.” I said then threw the garlic on him.
“Wow! Do you have to throw this garlic on me like you were sending a ghost away?”
I laughed. “What, aren’t you?”
"Ouch!"

"Look, you’re acting like a ghost by stalking your ex-girlfriend. Stalker!” this time I threw the onion to him and it hit his shoulder.
“That hurts!” he complaint. “It seems like you’re indirectly telling me to cook.” He joked on.
I laugh at him. “Wow, you’re saying it hurts however it seems like the onion is the one who’s crying right now.” I joked back.
“By the way, how’s your visit in the hospital?” he suddenly ask.
I timidly smile. “I wasn’t able to ask where he is...”

"Sorry." He apologetically said. “I should have just waited for you to tell me.”
“But what I don’t understand is, why Flood doesn’t want me to be the donor of his brother?”
“Oh, well... that’s not pride!” Sapie replied.
“If it’s not pride, then what is it?”
“Hmm... he just simply doesn’t want to allow you to be part of his life or to any of his family.” He replied. “Don’t look at me like
that...” he commented. “Okay, here it is... you were his girlfriend for so long and he still cares for you. In addition to that, you and

him have a son that you left to him.” he said. “It’s obvious that he still loves you, it’s just that he wants to distance himself from
you because you badly hurt him before and take note in two different way.”
“What do you mean in two different way?”
“Hmm... first, the moment you left him and went away far from his reach while you are pregnant and second, after he went to the
hospital for you after you gave birth, again... you left him alone. Who wouldn’t be hurt from what you did?”
I feel so sorry for him but I don’t want to be a burden after I was diagnosed of a postpartum depression.