Contraclockwise

What am I doing to do? Should I ignore her or not? They are not together for years besides Red is happy with Rackie so it
should be okay however it is really okay? She’s my best buddy’s ex-girlfriend. I can’t say it to Air, I’m sure I’ll hear some sermon
from him who seem to have a frustrated dream to be a priest. I can’t say it to Sapience, that guy will laugh at me and I can’t say it
to Radiance because he’s the ex-boyfriend of Shine.
Haist! What did I get into? Why did I fell in love with my friend’s ex-girlfriend? Now, I’m problematic how will I date her, how will I
go out with her without us being noticed. It’s not that I’m ashamed when I’m with her, it’s just that I’m confused what will I do.
“Love, what are you thinking?” Shine asks me which made me go back to the reality.
"Sorry, what were you saying again?” I asked.
“Won’t you be disappointed if you knew that—”
“No!” I irritably replied. It’s annoying to be asked the same question over and over again after what happened between us. “You
explained already, I do understand. Besides, I’m not really into that and that’s not what I want from you.”
“But that’s what I want from you!”
I crooked my forehead and looked at her. “What do you want from me?”
“For you to love me wholly.” She said while crying.

I sigh. “I love you, Shine but I can’t always show it from the way you want me to show it.” Sometimes when we talk about like
this, I want to shout at her and slapped on her face how much I love her and she doesn’t need to ask me over and over again.
“Why aren’t you asking me if Red and I did it?”
Why am I not asking her that question? “Because I know Red...” I replied even though I saw how Red was out of the mood the
whole day when he and Rackie almost do it but was stop. I turn to her and hug her tight. “Stop crying, okay?” I said as I coax her
then wipe her tears. “Promise, I won’t leave you. I just can’t find the right timing to tell my friends about us but mom and dad
approved you, so it’s okay.”
She pouted. “Your mom knew that I’m Red’s ex-girlfriend, how can you say that she approve our relationship?”
I hold her hand. “If not, she can’t do anything about it.”
“How can you say that?” she asks pouting her lips.
“It’s like this...” I whispered the words I want to say to her. She slapped my arm. “Do you think they can do anything about it?” I
said laughing.
“As if you can say that to them...”

I laughed. “Why not? They were young when they created my eldest sister.”
She also laughs. “What if they found out what happened to me, my past?”
"They will understand. Not to mention that my mother is also female so she will understand.”
“I don’t want to be pitied.” She suddenly said raising her voice.
“Huh? Were being sustain and living under that by the Lord.” I said, I just said what Rackie said before.
“You know what, the moment you knew Rackie, she became a big influence to all of you.”
I was stunned. “Is she a bad influence to us?”
She smiles. “No, I can say that all of you became a better person when she came into your lives.”
I smiled. “How can you say that?”
“Even though Red broke up with me before then became in a relationship with Rackie, Red and I became friends because of
Rackie and I can sense that Rackie is a good person. Air stopped to be a womanizer, Sapie had the courage to say what he
feels towards Levi then you, and you became close with your parents because of her.” I’m surprised from what I heard. “You

know what, that’s my plan when Red and I were together however our relationship isn’t that smooth like how smooth Red and
Rackie’s relationship.”
I felt sad from what I heard from her. “Do you regret that you haven’t done it and Rackie was the one who have done it?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m happy that she was the one who did it because I can’t do what Rackie can and how can she
maintain it that way even though she’s not around you.”
I smiled instead she’ll feel jealous towards Rackie, she admire her wherein the real reason why Red broke up with her was
because Red fell in love with Rackie wherein no one knew just only us his friends. “Aren’t you mad to Rackie before?”
She thinks about it. “Maybe at first, I got mad however the moment I saw her being nasty to Red, my impression towards her is
wrong.”
I nod as I agree to her. “Did you know that before Rackie became Red’s girlfriend, she had this background checking from Red’s
past relationships?”
She looked shock from what I said. “I can’t do that. I’m feeling jealous if a girl asks Red what time is it then doing a background
check on his past relationships? I can’t do that! She’s really unique!”
I chuckled. “You want to know what are the questions Rackie asks?”

“What are her questions?” she curiously asks.
“How many girlfriends did Red have? What are the names of her ex-girlfriends? Are he friends with his exes? The reason of the
break up.” I said. “If you’ll be there that moment, you might be also got an interview, she have a lot of question that we were all
caught off guard.”
Shine was obviously shocked. She didn’t expect what she heard. “What was her reaction while she’s asking Red?”
“Hmmm... normal, it’s like a normal conversation. We the listeners were all shocked but Red was obvious annoyed from the
questions Rackie asks before.”
She chuckles. “What a waste! I should have been there so I witness all of your reactions!”
I am staring at her and eagerly want to kiss her but we were in a public place I can’t take risk, I don’t want to receive a slap
because she doesn’t want to a surprise kiss especially on the lips. She’s so cute that I’m trigger to kiss her right now.
“Why are you staring at me?” she said while smiling.
I bow down, it seems like I was caught from my crush staring at her and don’t know how to avert my eyes. I scratch my nape
then smile.
“You’re thinking of something...” she said with her warning tone.

I shook my head. “Nothing, I just thought that why didn’t I noticed before that you’re beautiful and so kind. Now, I’m hoping that
I’m your boyfriend before instead of Red if I was the one who court you.”
She laughs. “Why are you so sentimental now?”
“I’m just annoyed whenever I think that Red was your first from all.”
*It’s been years since Red and Shine broke up but they are okay when they meet. Red is now happy with Rackie.
"Cloud, is that you?" someone asks from the hallway of the university where I work.
I crooked my forehead. At first, I didn’t recognized here because I’m not used to her having a ponytailed hair and wearing
makeup. “Shine?” I ask to make sure.
She smiled. “You’re teaching here?”
I nod. “You, what are you doing here?”