Clubrooms Diary

CADDIE

May 12th 2018

I draw near the club, limping.

The doctor says I'm still not allowed to drive so I take the bus. Mal took the bus before me because I had to wait for my grandma to pick Jaxson up. She offered to bring me to work but I quickly declined her offer. She'd have a damn stroke if she knew where I worked.

I hiss with pain, every time my foot hits the ground a little too harshly.

I refuse to take the painkillers I was prescribed by Amar's doctor as I'm still breastfeeding Jaxson. The last thing I need is Ace using that against me and making me out to be a pill-popping whore. So, the pain is something I'll have to endure a little longer.

It doesn't help that it's close to zero degrees and I have nothing warm to wear. I still haven't been able to establish myself a worthy closet full of seasonal clothing after leaving Ace. The extra bit of money I have leftover I spend on Jaxson. I mean, the kid seriously won't stop growing.

I round the corner and I watch as Amar leads Mal out of the club, they get into the SUV and Vanko closes the door behind them. My heart flutters at the sight of him and one side of my mouth curls up into a smile. I run my hands down my clothes and limp towards him. I make it halfway across the car park when a patrol car stops in front of me.

Fucking Ace...

I roll my eyes heavenward, wishing the mother fucker would get himself shot while he was on duty. Would definitely make my life a lot easier. But, even I know miracles don't happen that way and this isn't a fairy tale story. I watch him exit the car, slipping a retractable baton into his belt. He walks around the car and sits on the bonnet, crossing his arm, trying to intimidate me.

"What is it now Ace?" I sigh out loud.

"What I always want Cadz." He narrows his eyes at me.

"You need to stop wanting what you CAN'T have."

"He's my son too. You can't keep him from me."

"You wanna fucking bet I can't?" My words laced with anger.

"I will curl over and die before I let you touch him."

He snarls, standing up, taking out his baton, and hits it against his open hand. He steps closer towards me until his shit infused breath fans my face.

"You know full well that can be arranged." He runs his tongue along the top of his teeth, with his eyes smiling back at me.

I gulp, "You don't have the balls to do what it takes. You always get your goons to handle your dirty work." I cringe inwardly.

"For you, I will." He clicks his tongue.

"You're my special girl.." He reaches out and touches my face.

I step back and wince as a sharp pain runs up my thigh, exploding around my hip bone.

"You're still a sick fuck!" My voice trembles.

Little flashbacks of him beating and raping me cross my mind. My bottom lip trembles and tears slide down my face.

"Jaxson wasn't made out of love. You raped me!" I wipe the angry tears using the back of my hand.

Smearing the heartache across my face.

"You fucking BEAT ME and RAPED ME!" I cry out.

He snickers, his eyes look at me as they cloud over, turning his eyes into a shade of dark grey. The storms about to hit and I instantly regret my words.

"FUUCCKKK!!!" I scream as pain circulates my body.

"STOPP... A..CE..STOP. "I scream out again as another blow hits me.

He had slung his arm out, flicking his wrist, opening the baton until it locked in place. He hit me in the stomach, my thigh, and across my back. I fell to my knees crying and screaming, pleading for him to stop. curl myself up into a fetal position, using my hands to shield my head. I think of Jaxson and pray to the gods he doesn't kill me.

"You're a fucking whore. A disgusting, useless bitch who doesn't deserve MY SON!" He yells and spits on me like I'm filth.

My body shakes uncontrollably as fear consumes me. I wait for the next blow of pain to hit me like a freight truck. But, there's nothing... I only feel the pain that already coats me and the wind blowing harshly over my body.

"Caddie...!! Caddie...!!" I peek through my fingers to see Mal sprinting across the carpark.

Tears stream from her wide-opened eyes as they stain her face with distress. My blurry eyes wander the carpark and I watch as Vanko drags Ace towards the SUV. Amar stands there with the boot open, shaking his head at Ace. Vanko punches Ace in the head twice, I watch his body go limp and Vanko tosses him into the boot of the SUV, clapping his hands, getting rid of the vulgarity. Amar slams the door shut, he says something to Vanko and they jump in the car.

Seconds later the engine starts and the tyres screech along the road as they peel out of the car park.

"Mal...Mal.." I cry out.

She reaches my side, falls to her knees and cradles me.

"You're okay Caddie.." She cries.

"You're going to be safe. Amar and his Hulk will take care of him." She sniffles.

"I'll only be safe if they kill the bastard Mal..." I whisper.

Her lips are moving as she talks. But I can't hear her with the sound of my ears popping. My eyes flutter backwards as everything turns black, erasing me from existence as my mind momentarily shuts don't. Please... I implore.

Please... Wipe him from my life.

I can't carry on this way...

No... More... No more suffering......

*****

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