Claws and Kisses

I did not know what to say. I did not know if I should rage and scream and shout my fury from the mountaintops. I did not know whether to make a snide comment, infuriating him further. I did not know whether to begin sobbing and confess how much his mistreatment of me had hurt. Hurt more than if he had sunk a dagger into my own back. I did not know whether to bow my head and ask for forgiveness. To tell him of how much I regretted making the Blood Oath, but that it was all for him. All for my mate.

He did not leave me to wallow in my thoughts for long. With slow, purposeful steps, he glided to the bed and sunk onto the piles of furs and silk. He planted his elbows on his knees, leaning forward slightly. Eyes on me.

“Wendy,” he whispered. Those violet orbs of his were so bright and shining that I could not look at them for more than a moment. I knew if I looked too long, I would be sucked into his orbit and would never be able to claw my way out again. So I kept my gaze trained on his shoulders. His chest. Anywhere but those eyes.

“Wendy,” he began again, his voice barely above a murmur. “I love you. I have loved you from the moment you stepped into that cave. I will love you for the rest of my life, and for eternity thereafter. Make no mistake of that.”

For some reason, a sense of dread filled my chest. There was something hidden in those words. Something I knew I was going to hate with every inch of my being.

“You will always be my one and only. Nothing and no one can take that away from me,” he continued. Anyone else would have not heard the slight, indistinguishable tremor in his tone. “Which is why I have decided that I am sending you away. To Balvian, actually. It’s a few days’ trek from Jara. North of our border.”

The words were flat. Emotionless. I had to play with each and every individual syllable in my head, stripping the words down to their very core. I turned them over and over again in my mind, examining and analyzing them for all their worth. The only ones I could not understand were sending and away. Like a child, I could not fathom their meaning as hard as I tried.

My continued silence only prodded him on for details I did not care for. “I have sent for the maids who took care of you in Jara. You seemed to like them enough, so I wanted you to have some familiar faces around while you remain there. The manor itself is well taken care of, and big enough that you will be able to fill all of the rooms with whatever and whoever you like. There will be a retina of guards with you and around the manor to keep an eye on things. Romeo will also be stopping by every few months to make sure everything is running smoothly. You will want for nothing, as all the expenses are covered. There is even a tiny village and market nearby, if you should want to visit it.”

His words rang around the room with quiet assurance, but I did not really hear them. One would have thought from the way he was talking that he expected me to be gone for a very long time. It felt as if there was another person standing in front of me. Another woman he was sending away. Yes, surely he was talking to someone else. He could not be telling me these things. These quiet, horrible words.

The Dragon Lord trailed off, and I could feel his gaze drilling a hole into my forehead. I did not look at him though. Keeping my line of sight strictly beneath his chin, I softly asked, “You wish to me leave?”

There was a pause. Hesitation. I could hear him swallowing hard before whispering, “Yes.”

I lifted my eyes an inch, to his lips. His pink, beautifully-sculpted lips. “How long?”

His mouth parted as he thought. Then— “Indefinitely.”

Finally, I looked up. I met those swirling, dark violet eyes and pushed from off the wall. Mirroring him from before, I walked slowly and with feline grace. Slowly, oh so slowly, I made my way to him. He watched me with a guarded gaze the entire time, right up until the moment I pushed aside his hands and stepped into the space between his knees. He leaned back to meet my eye. Even with him sitting and me upright, we were still nearly eye level.

His fingers twitched, as if he wished to reach up and grab my hips, to caress the soft flesh there. Yet, they remained firmly at his sides.

Scowling, I reached down and grasped his chin between my thumb and forefinger. Again, he allowed me to, never moving once to stop me. I pinched his clefted chin hard, almost to the point of bruising. He did not even blink.

“So you want me to walk out of that door?” I asked, brow furrowed and with a kind of steel I had never used on anyone before. If he was surprised, he did not show it. I squeezed harder. “You wish me to leave and to never come back? To live out the rest of my days in some big, fancy house with guards and maids and a little market nearby?”

He nodded, stiffly. “Yes.”

I could have cried at the dead look in his eyes. “You . . . you want me to meet some nice, human lord? You want me to get married and have children in a safe little valley, where I will never be harmed? You want me to die peacefully, asleep in my bed, lying next to another man? In someone else’s arms?”

My mate had to squeeze his eyes shut, his head bowing a little. “Yes.”

Hiccuping, I tried not to feel the angry, frustrated tears that pricked the corner of my eyes at his staunch answers. Instead, I released his chin and moved both my hands to cup his jaw in a fierce, bruising hold, a roaring need stirring in my chest to pry the truth from his lips. I sidled closer to his body, pressing mine up against his.

His eyes did not open.

“You wish to never mate?” I whispered, my voice matching the granite softness of his. “You wish to never go on another adventure with me? You wish to never know what our children’s faces would look like? If they would have your blue-black hair and my green eyes? Or maybe your strong, straight nose and my crooked smile?”

The thought of children had his eyes snapping open. Finally—finally, there was a hint of emotion in his purple orbs. I could see the love and the hope and the dreams burning bright there. I could see a future in those violet eyes. For a moment, I knew I had him.

However, there was a flickering in his gaze, and soon the future and the dreams vanished. I was left with nothing more than that dead, emotionless look.

“Yes.”

Growling in outrage, I pounced. I shoved him flat on on his back on top of the bed, straddling his chest with my legs. Leaning over him, I clutched the sides of his face tightly, practically snarling. “Why? Why are you giving up on me? On this.”

I gestured between us, and, moving quicker than lighting, he snatched both my hands into one of his own. His other palm came to grasp my jaw, pulling me toward his face. Our noses almost brushed as he sharply whispered, “Because I can’t ask that of you. Not our mating, not our children, and certainly not a future where you are trapped by my side. If you were smart, little tiger, you would not bat an eye before getting the hell off of this mountain.”

My scowl deepened. “So instead of trying to fix things you’re just going to send me away?” I struggled against him, but his hands were like bands of iron around my wrists. I hissed, “So you made a mistake. Big fucking deal.” I pushed against him once more, outraged and feeling a tiny bit helpless. “Now, fix it.”

He searched my face with furrowed brows, confusion and disbelief in his eyes. “I didn’t think you would want me to try and fix it.”

I shook my head, face pinched with emotion. “Oh, I am furious about what happened. Beyond livid. But just because you lost your cool for a second doesn’t mean that I want to . . . away from . . .”

I gave up trying to finish the sentence. I knew he understood what I meant. To be honest, I think he was surprised that I wanted to stay. Maybe someone more reasonable would want to go. But Avel was mine. Even if shit like this went down, I rather stay and try to solve our problems than spend the rest of my life hating him for one fuck up.

In one, smooth, motion, he had flipped out positions. I landed on my back, looking up to see Avel hovering over me, his elbows on either side of head. The warmth seeping from his frame had sparks igniting all along my body, and it was an effort not to sigh with contentment from his close proximity.

“You don’t get it, tiger.” His fingers brushed my cheek tenderly, his eyes avoiding mine. “I . . . snapped. The moment I smelled his scent on your lips in the Throne Room, I blacked out. The rage was too much. I . . . I don’t remember the things I did. Beating the warlock up, telling Romeo he was banished . . .” He winced, his fingers caressing my hairline. I could not help cringing away from his touch, causing a bitter laugh to bubble up his throat. He finally met my eye. “Abusing you.”

With a heavy breath, he pushed off the bed and retreated to the fireplace across the room, moving too fast to be stopped. I watched as he placed his forearms on the roof of the fireplace, leaning forward. Towards the flames. As if he did not mind if he got burned.

“You’re not safe here,” he said, voice deadly serious. “You’re not safe with me.”

Despite the situation, I found myself scoffing. “When has a human ever been safe with a dragon?”

I stood and walked with steady strides to him. His back was turned to me once more, so I simply placed my palms on the small of his broad back and rested my forehead between his shoulder blades.

“Bear told me how Dragon Lords, especially mated ones, can lash out. You thought I cheated. Even though I’ll never forget what you did . . . I can still forgive you. I understand how pained and wronged you felt. And I’m not going to just up and leave because we both messed up a little.”

He remained stiff and unresponsive for a moment more, but he was soon relaxing under my touch. He turned around and carefully wrapped his arms loosely around my torso. So loose, it would have taken nothing more than a nudge to break his hold. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and instead just let myself feel whole in his arms.

“Besides,” I said, my eyes fluttering up at meet his, guilt in my gaze. “I know you must be very angry with me about the Blood Oath I made to Aamon.”

His eyes slightly darkened and his hold on me tightened, but he shook his head. “Maybe when Bear first told me, but . . .” He shook his head again, setting his determined eyes on mine. “I cannot be angry with you. While it was extremely reckless and by far the dumbest thing you could have done,” he paused, his lip tilting slightly as he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “We will figure it out. Together . . . if that is what you truly want.”

I nodded. “It is.”

The Dragon Lord scrutinized my face, my eyes, my soul—looking for some sign that this was not a dream. That I truly wanted to be by his side.

I cupped his cheek, locking onto his line of sight. “Is it so outlandish that I want to stay? Even after all that has happened?”

Like a wounded puppy, he dipped his head in shame and murmured, “I hurt you, little tiger.”

I licked my lips, nodding. “Yes. You hurt me. I hurt you. Neither of us acted the way we should have. If I had not made the deal, none of this would have happened. I should have thought about the consequences. But in the moment, all I could think about was . . .”

You. All I could think about was my mate. Wanting to so desperately protect him. Even if it meant giving up everything else. I knew I would do it again in a heartbeat. So long as he never left my side again.

His hand cupped my cheek this time, and he drew me to his body with warm, loving arms. His arms wrapped around mine in a fierce embrace. One by one, he planted his kisses on my nose, my eyelashes, my forehead, my lips. Displaying his love in an open, caring fashion that I had never known before. In a soft, gentle whisper, he said, “I know what it is like to be helpless, little tiger. I know what it is like to feel like nothing is in your control.”

He continued kissing my flushed skin, placing his smoldering lips on my throat whilst murmuring, “I do not blame you for trying to protect me.” Another affectionate, languid kiss. “I would move heaven and earth to keep you safe. How could I hate you for trying to do the same?”

I blinked tears from my eyes, feeling a kind of relief and joy that should not exist for people like me. “You forgive me?”

Another sweet kiss, this one behind my ear. “There is nothing to forgive, tiger.” He paused, his lips grazing my jaw. “Do you forgive me?”

Pressing as close as I could to him, I nodded fast, hugging him tight enough to suffocate. “Yes, Avel. I forgive you.”

Leaning away slightly, I met his glowing, boyaunt eyes that were so mirthful and pleased, it felt unreal compared to the emotionless gleam earlier. I bit my lip, scanning his face carefully.

“Mate me.”

The words leapt unwittingly from my lips, and I blinked in surprise at my own audacity. If it were possible, Avel appeared even more taken aback. But I did not take back my words. I lifted my chin and simply repeated, “Mate me, Avel.”

There was a cautiously hopeful twinkle in his eye, but he shoved it down in favor of shaking his head. “Wendy, we only just came to an agreement. You might regret this later and want to leave anyways. We should wait—”

“No.” I gripped his shoulders, stretching on my tiptoes to reach him, eye-to-eye. “The whole horde is in shambles. The Drachen Trials are coming up soon. Our mating will make us and the horde stronger than ever.”

He took a moment to think, that hope in him swelling with every passing second, yet he still pulled back slightly to shake his head again. “No. It’s too soon. I don’t want to force you into anything you won’t be able to get out of.”

“Avel,” I finally snapped, catching his attention. Grabbing both sides of his face, I leaned in and arduously said, “I want to. You’re it for me too, pal. Whether you like it or not, I’m here and I’m staying. It can’t be too soon because I will always want you. No matter what happens. Understand?”

For a minute, he looked like he was going to argue further, but he gave up. Smiling broadly, he pulled me to his chest and placed a hasty, sloppy kiss on my cheek, the love in his eyes shimmering brightly. “Understood.”

THE END

;)

~Elaine