Clash of Tides (A merman story)

“What is it?” I ask, genuinely wanting to know.

“You say you are a prostitute, but you are also a virgin; how so?”

His gaze burns me, an expression of I’m not looking away without an explanation. If I want honesty from Assan, then I must be truthful with him. Before answering, I quickly finish the fish and seaweed, savoring the taste of food in my mouth.

I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, and the pain of it all rushes me at once. Telling Assan what has become of my family is too hurtful, but he needs to know the truth. Readying myself, I release an anxious breath.

“After my father left, my mother lost everything. Our house, our clothes, there was nothing to our name. The name Beechworth had died, and even my mother stopped using it. She tried reaching out to her friends for help, but all of them were noble ladies. When they found out my father left my mother with no money, they wanted nothing to do with us. At the time, my brother was a newborn, so we didn’t have many options. Mother wanted me to work as a prostitute with her, but she needed me to stay home with Joseph, my little brother.”

Anger flows through me as I speak about my family. As I clench my jaw, I cross my arms over my body, hugging myself. Even if my father wanted to leave my mother, why didn’t he take me with him? My father’s betrayal is one I won’t forget, and I will never do the same to Joe.

Assan remains quiet until he says, “Continue.”

I open my lips reluctantly; I hate telling this part of my life. “Most of my childhood was spent taking care of Joe. Unlike the noble girls, we didn’t have money for a tutor, so Seidon and Lucas taught me things.” I smile at the memories. “Seidon went to school and had a personal tutor, so I read all of his books and notes. At sixteen, my mother urged me to work in the brothels again, but Joe was still too young to be home alone. I know, across the sea, that other people with my skin color are slaves. Even though I’m free, I still feel like a slave. Girls younger than me are already married and have families of their own; I’ll never have my own family. Tonight…at the brothel, was supposed to be my first time sleeping with a man to earn money for my family. Mother told me men would pay for my virginity and skin color…”

Suddenly, the bed creaks, and I jerk around. Assan strides towards the water without giving me so much of a glance. I can’t decipher if he is mad or just acting like his usual self. When I realize what he is about to do, my mind signals me to run; however, I stay calm and remain in my spot.

Splash. He plunges into the water, causing small waves to brush up and hit me. I shudder at the coolness.

“Assan,” I call out to him as I roam my eyes around the surface of the pool. No response. Did he leave? I keep searching for Assan until I feel something swim past my legs. Wet, black locks slowly appear before me, floating my way.

He surfaces above the water, with his lips twisted into a scowl.

“You want to go back to that place, back to the brothels?!” He growls out through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes. The liquid around him starts to rumble, forming violent waves.

This time, I will not let his anger cause me fear. My decisions are my own; I can’t let Assan interfere any longer.

Our eyes meet. “Yes, because if I don’t, my mother will use my little brother to get what she wants. Both of us need not suffer for her selfishness and my father’s betrayal,” I say defiantly, surprising even myself.

Assan’s irises widen, and the water goes calm.

“I won’t stop you from protecting one that needs you. That is something even a mer can understand.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, finally knowing Assan understands the truth and why I must go. Catching me off guard, Assan comes towards me and lays his head down on my lap. A part of me wants to push him away, but then the other part is stunned by his behavior.

“Assan…are you still in pain?” My voice is like a whisper, so tiny that the sounds of swirling water overtake me.

“…Yes, Elena, my mating time isn’t over it, but you needn’t concern yourself with that. I just…please, let me stay here with you…for now, like this.” He shuts his eyes.

“All right,” I say as a lift my hands from my side. Gently, I place one finger on Assan’s wet hair, waiting for his reaction. I’m sure he will retract his body or tell me not to touch him. Instead, he buries his head in my lap, cuddling against me. Watching him touch me like this, so calm and comfortable, is so foreign to me. At this moment, Assan reminds me of Seidon. When we were children, Seidon would often lay his head on me, and he would hold my hand, telling me how he was tired of his father pressuring him.

Assan stirs, gripping his arms around my legs. Slowly, his eyelids open again.

“Your father reminds me of my mother.” From his weary tone and somber expression, I start thinking about the mermaid queen. I wish Assan would tell me more about his parents and his life.

“Why do you say that?” I ask curiously.

“It’s not important”–he gets up and stares at me–“have you ever pleasured a man another way before, for money?”

His eyes bore into mine, waiting for an answer. I avert my gaze from his. “Yes,” I reply, remembering Nathan and the deal my mother made with him.

I wince as sharp pains shoot from my legs. “Ass-an..you are hurting me.” I hiss.

Quickly he releases me and caresses my chin. “Forgive me. I did not mean to harm you. Did your mother make you pleasure that man?”

Looking back at everything that happened between us, I never thought Assan would stare at me like this. In his inhuman eyes, there is pain reflecting at me. It is like for a moment, a part of me lies within him – a hidden pain that he, himself, is keeping from me. Concern laces his face, and he lifts his fingers and brushes them against my own, eventually resting his hand on mine. Something stirs inside me; a longing to inch closer to him grows within me. When I think back to that day at home, pleasuring Nathan with my mouth, a burst of feelings want to escape, but I will not let regret show.

“Yes, but I agreed to it for Joe.” Stoic, that’s how I sound. To sell your body, you must be devoid of all emotions for your own wellbeing.

He cups my cheek with one hand and places his forehead against mine, while his other hand still rests on me. “Elena, do not sink into despair, for you are stronger than you think you are. Rise above the water and protect the ones that need you.”

“Assan…” Hearing his words of encouragement is too much for me. Tears form in my eyes, but I don’t want to cry anymore. I want, no, I need to fight, not only for myself but for Joe, too.

As I move back from Assan, I see the faint half-smile etched on his lips.

Soon I will be returning to land, where only pain awaits me. Assan mentioned he could not leave me in the brothel, so before I go, there’s one thing I want to know. I wish I did not feel emotions, especially the curiosity inside me about Assan. He has resigned himself never to see me again; does he want that? Do I truly want that?

My hands form fists at my sides, and I ask, “Assan, do you want me to leave?”

He shifts in the water, pursing his lips together, and sways away from me, causing small waves to rock on the liquid surface. The sound is almost comforting, given the silence between us.

I can tell he is thinking about what to say. He moves back towards me and then sighs. “The Sea was entertaining with you around, but I suppose I will find new ways to amuse myself.” A smirk forms on his lips, and I chuckle.

“I suppose you will.” I stare up at the ceiling, watching the few clouds pass over the moon. Water swirls on my legs. Looking ahead again, I watch Assan inch towards me.

His eyes bore into mine intently.

Under the moon’s beams, his mismatched irises shimmer with that inhuman glow. With his gaze on mine, it’s as if he is taking in my features, committing them to memory. Even after a few moments, he does not avert his sight from my direction.

After today, Assan will just be a flicker in my mind that I’ll vaguely remember. Assan has hurt me, taken me from my home, has ruined my chances to save Joe, but he also showed me something beautiful. Now I know there is magic in this world, and a place other humans don’t know exists. The undersea world is full of dangers, horrors, and unknown creatures, but beauty is its redemption.

This is the last time I’ll see him. I grip the neckline of my dress, squeezing the semi-dry fabric. The thought of never seeing Assan again pains me, but it shouldn’t. This is what I wanted, so why does it hurt so much? As I avert my eyes from him, he whispers my name, and his deft fingers stroke my hand.

I look back at him, unable to hide the emotions coursing through me. I want to feel him, just once more. Without holding anything back, with no reservations, no thoughts about Joe or my mother, I rush my lips to his, caressing them with light touches. Closing my eyes, I lose myself – I let go of my responsibilities to my family.

I wait for him to shrug away, but instead, at first, he stops moving. With haste, his hand runs up my back, pushing me against his bare torso and pressing me deeper into his body. This touch is not like before; it’s gentle, almost as if he’s scared of breaking me. This time, his body tells me he wants me for me, not because he needs a child. The tension I felt flows from me, and instead, I bask in the prince’s touch and let my merman handle my body as he desires.