Claiming Lucian: Let there be light (Yaoi)

I was versed at a very young age of how I should see the world in a perspective in which favour should always be on my side no matter what the circumstances may be. They wrung every single drop of magnanimity within me, engraving into my mind that the light shall always be mine and the immaculate shall always be me.

I ended up standing alone, bearing the light which blinded me from the truth they feared of me knowing. And as I continued to hold on to the light that I kept selfishly for me, I realized a priceless lesson:

There was no light in loneliness as I had been there; all I could see from that place was the darkness of dismay.

I was always curious about the world outside of my kind’s domain. We were the race that isolated itself from the rest of the world and because of that, many have suffered. Our power sustained the life of nature. Our very existence was the reason why the other races got to live. But they did not appreciate our power and pushed us into retaliation that drove them into their downfall.

We were misjudged; we went through defilement and so we resorted to abandonment.

They committed their self-destruction when they discovered that those mindless creatures that wreaked havoc were once us. Without full comprehension of how things ended up the way it did, most of the races that once fought with each other joined forces and attempted to slaughter us all.

During the war, many of the ancients lost their lives due to their meekness which resulted from a tyrant king that once ruled the nation. My grandfather, who ruled after the deceased dictator, decided to amass every Ancient into one place. Using his body, he created The Great Genshi Tree and sheltered us from the outside world.

The exterior form of the trunk opposed any invading forces from the opposite races. The once submissive race finally learned to fight for their place by diminishing their invaluable presence.

Within the sapphire wooden interior of the tree, the Ancients built an opulent kingdom of light blue-green walls. There, stood amidst thousands of petite and humble houses, was the palace that stretched greatly. It exhibited the difference of status between the one ruling and the ones being ruled.

As we bloomed and flourished, the world we hid from withered and crumbled. Our absence and lack of mercy became evident to the whole world. I then briefly wondered if deprivation could make greedy people regret greed or further give them the drive to become even more covetous.

Twenty years have passed ever since the ancients closed themselves off. No one ever got to leave except for one Ancient who opposed the conditions of the deceased king. That ungovernable man was no other than my onii (brother), Lucius.

My brother was never the one to follow the rules and regulations of Florencia. He was audacious, strong, and he was respected despite his reputation for being defiant. I idolized him and followed him everywhere in the kingdom. I boasted about him to every person we meet because he was my brother and I wanted to become like him someday.

Lucius told me stories of the outside world and reminded me to never succumb to our race’s selfishness no matter what our parents tell me. He was trying to raise a rebellious son in me, and our parents were aware of that.

On the day of my brother’s departure, my okaa (mother), and I saw him off. I held onto my mother’s hand with a heavy heart and watched as he prepared everything he needed for his journey.

After double-checking everything, he knelt, placing a soft kiss against my forehead. I toughened myself up, willing myself not to cry in front of him because he was always saddened when I was sad.

“Arrivederci (goodbye) little brother, don’t grow up too fast, alright? Goodness, you act and speak so maturely as if you aren’t six years old,” he chuckled, holding me close to him in a tight embrace.

I placed my two hands on either side of his face, giving his sharp nose a smooch. ”Arrivederci onii, please come back soon!”

Onii chuckled, ruffling my head and causing petals to fall from my flower crown. Flower crowns were the status symbol of royalty.

“I will miss you, chii (little brother). Don’t cause too much trouble for father and mother, understand?”

“Hmph!” came from okaa.

Brother straightened up and gave her a hug which was not returned.

“Please do not worry for me, okaa, I will be fine,” he assured with a small smile.

She glared at him in bitterness, not budging from her stiffness.

“I have nothing left to say to you. You know very well of what’s out there and you still decide to leave for these ridiculous peregrinations as if you are taunting death to chase you,” she scornfully scolded.

“Okaa~” I called out, tugging at her dress. “What is pere…peregrine…” I tried to pronounce.

Onii sighed from hearing the same reprimanding for the hundredth time. He repeated the same explanation he gave the last time she was upset with him.

“The world needs us okaa. I cannot enjoy the life within this tree knowing how much the world is dying.”

Okaa turned around in disappointment. My heart dropped from seeing my onii get so much rejection.

Why must okaa be like this whenever onii will leave? She was being unkind to him just like otou (father) who refused to see him off, reasoning out that he was buried with work.

“Go, Lucius...you know too well what happens to us when we die yet you decide to get yourself slaughtered.”

Onii rubbed his creased forehead with his fingertips.

I grabbed one of onii’s thick fingers, smiling at him while my other hand was busy behind me. I grew a white flower within my palm and presented it to him. His melancholic expression brightened; he plucked the flower from my palm, making me wince a bit from the stinging pain.

“Thank you chii, I will cherish it,” he said, kissing the flower.

He mounted Argo, his trusted pegacorn, and patted its neck. Its body was a luminous blue that provided enough light by nightfall. It was by chance that he found a lost pegacorn in one of the villages he visited, and they became close companions ever since.

The ippótes (knights) of the gates placed their hands against the shut exit. Gradually, the ivory metallic gates started to open.

The sound of the gates wailing was the sound of my unexpressed sadness for my onii’s departure, yet I did not want to trouble him with my feelings of sadness.

I waved at my onii to bid him another farewell and he twisted a bit from his seat to wave back at me. The light from outside the gates shone at him, calling him to come back to his altruistic duties.

At that point, for some peculiar reason in my chest, I realized how much I disapproved of his departure. It wasn’t because I felt that something bad would happen to him, yet I didn’t understand it well enough to speak out loud.

“Arrivederci Onii!” I shouted.

Argo galloped out of the gates.

”Arrivederci Lucian!”

The pegacorn flapped its wing, soaring to the skies and diminishing their size into a mere dot. The doors shut themselves. The ippótes put themselves back into their stern positions like statues waiting for a lawbreaker to assault on.

“Okaa, when will onii come back?”

She looked down at me with gloom in her blue eyes, pursing her lips in the same dissatisfaction as she gave to onii.

“I do not know Lucian...we’ll just have to wait again,” she murmured.

I glanced at the gates in great wonderment, setting my excitement for my onii’s next homecoming.I miss my onii already.

“Okaa, why can’t we go out?”

Okaa grimaced from my inquiry but tried to form a smile as she attempted to structure an answer that will make me understand her side. She squatted in front of me, kissing my hand.

“It’s dangerous Lucian.”

I looked at the gates again and back at her.

“Why?”

When onii told me his tales nothing seemed dangerous at all.

Okaa released a breath of exasperation because of my persistence but answered, nonetheless.

“The world is dangerous and... We cannot die any further Lucian. Although our kind is the origin of life, we are also the source of death.”

Then we were the ones dangerous and not the outside world itself? What were they afraid of then?

I gave her a puzzled look from her vague explanation and pushed on. “I do not understand, please explain further?”

She cupped my cheek, closing her eyes as if to push away memories that haunted her for the longest time.

“Because when we die Lucian, we become the very death that lives to destroy others.”

She opened her eyes once more; great trepidation was instilled in them.

“We become the Catastrophes.”

…

…

…

Nightfall came. Otou tucked me under the sheets of the bed. He placed a kiss on my cheek. I rubbed my hands against his stubble, causing me to laugh from the prickling yet tickling sensation.

Otou chortled in response; his deep baritone voice resonated in the room. His skin showed a soft glow in the blanket of darkness, but my skin was abnormally much brighter than anyone else’s. I asked my otou once why I was like that, and he answered with:

“You’re special. You possess so much life in you that no one can match.”

“Kalinihta, Lucian.”

“Good night otou,” I replied before yawning.

Before my father could stand, I remembered a question I saved up for the day and grabbed his sleeve. I asked him the question that okaa refused to answer.

“What’s a Catastrophe?”

His eyes widened; he cleared his throat once his composure returned. He laughed a bit as he stroked my hair.

“Why do you ask, tesoro (sweetheart)?”

“Okaa mentioned it when I asked why we cannot leave. Will you make them go away, otou? If they’re gone, can I come with onii whenever he goes out? I want to help others like what onii does!”

Otou’s eyebrows scrunched up from my statement. My smile slowly faltered when I saw how negative his expression became.

“This is our home, Lucian. We stay here for as long as we live,” he whispered. His eyes glared hard at mine.

“But—”

“You are not allowed to go out of those gates, I forbid it,” he said strongly, causing me to wince from the strength of his agitation.

I knew at that time that I wasn’t talking to my father. He was ordering me as a king of our race, and I was required to obey it no matter how much it upset me.

It was still nighttime when I woke up. I left my room and walked towards my parents’ room in hopes of asking for refuge. I stopped by their door when I heard them arguing with my mother sobbing.

“What if... What if he decides to leave like Lucius when he grows up? I can’t have that Lohann! I... I almost lost him when he was born, and I can’t lose him again!” she cried out. My father groaned.

“But you can’t just decide on putting him under that training Meria, he is our son!” he snapped.

“I know that!” she shouted back.

There was a long pause after that outbreak. I waited for them to continue. My heart pounded strongly against my chest. My hands and feet went cold. My parents were fighting because of me, weren’t they? What did I do wrong?

“But I will do anything to protect him! Lucius is too compassionate because he knows how to empathize and sympathize. If we can trainLucian to become emotionless and loyal to our kind like the ippótes, he will have none of that.”

“I can’t believe this!” Father gritted out. “This training system...will turn our son into something we don’t want. You do understand this, don’t you?”

“I know that my love. I am prepared. If this will make him safe from the rotten clutches of our deceased people, then it must be done.”

The door opened. I froze in place from being caught eavesdropping. Father was startled to find me there, but his expression softened as he knelt in front of me.

“Lucian...”

I looked down in shame and rubbed the tears off my eyes.

“Please don’t fight with each other anymore otou, I’ll be good, I promise!”

I peeked from under my lashes, finding him visibly gulp.

“How would you like to no longer feel any fright?” he asked.

“I would be glad…” I hiccupped.

I did not like it when I felt fear.

I did not like it when I felt sad.

I had to be brave like my brother.