SWNOVELS Chapter 67
I couldn’t sleep that night, my mind raced with thoughts of Kira I had to stop myself from getting out of bed and checking on her multiple times. I was loosing my mind trying to stop myself from leaving the room. I was so close to grabbing at handcuff and cuffing myself to the bed to stop me from going . It was that bad, it was like I was no longer in control of the things that I did and that was borderline insane.
I was worried about her, and I couldn’t shake it off, I kept thinking about how she had almost drowned, and how I had felt a surge of fear and adrenaline as I pulled her from the water. How could I have been so scared to lose someone that I didn’t love? How was that even a thing?
I could feel my chest tightening, my heart was beating so fast like it was going to burst and rip into shreds. It was twice more painful than it was the first time when I went to save her in the woods. It was a similar panicked feeling and it felt like the more I got to know her, the more I was scared of loosing her. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to have her
1 by my side at all times.
I tossed and turned, my sheets tangling around my legs as I tried to get comfortable. But my mind was too racing, my thoughts too consumed by Kira. I thought about our last time together and how good she made me feel. It was like the moment we got naked, we did more than have sex, we made love.
I’ve had sex most of my life but Mara was the first person that I was going to make love with and the fact that it was mutual was even more exhilarating. She made me want to do crazy things for her. Her touch knew how to drive a man insane and I don’t think that she was even aware of the power of her fingers and the things they could do to me. Just thinking about her and everything we had done together was giving me a hard on.
Jdid not need a bulge in my pants that I wasn’t going to be able to get rid of so I tried to get rid of the thoughts I was having of her instead but that was impossible too. I didn’t know when I became addicted to her so much that I couldn’t get her out of my mind. It was like some sort of curse that I didn’t understand.
I laid still on the bed, pretending to be asleep and hoping that if I pretended long enough, I would eventually fall asleep but I ended up rolling off the bed in frustration. Kicking my legs in that air, I hissed and got back on the bed.
Just as I was finally starting to drift off to sleep, Mara appeared in my bedroom, wearing my favourite lingerie and sliding into my bed. When I heard the door open, I knew it could only be her. She was the only one that had the guts to open my door without knocking but I was hoping it would be someone else.
She tried to seduce me, her hands roaming my chest and her lips kissing my neck. But I was hesitant at first. I didn’t want to be with her, not when my mind was still with Kira. I tried to push her away, but she persisted, her hands grasping at me and her voice whispering in my.ear.
“Mara, I’m not in the mood,” I insisted, trying to push her away. But she was relentless, her body pressing against mine as she tried to kiss me. It was starting to get annoying but I tried to push through, thinking that maybe it would distract me from thinking about Kira. I could use the distraction and it didn’t use to matter who I f***d, as long as I was getting f**d, I was fine but ever since f** Kira, that theory didn’t seem to apply anymore.
As
we started to kiss, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was off. My wolf was growling inside me, irritated by Mara’s sugary scent. After being around Kira, my wolf didn’t want anyone else. I
Tied to push through, but I couldn’t I was not used to being fake or pretending to be interested in someone that I was not.
“I’m not in the mood for any of this Mara, just get the hell out” ended up sending Mara away, claiming I wasn’t in the mood when the truth was that I was in the mood just not for her but she wouldn’t be able to understand that I was not willing to explain, neither did I owe her an explanation.
“I’m joy leaving until you give in. I know you want to have sex with me, stop being so stubborn and just let me give you time of your life already. I’m going to spend the whole night pleasing you, you don’t have to worry about anything Sh offered and it was a good offer, if 1 hadn’t already tasted sex with Kira. I just needed her to leave because her smell was starting to become nauseating so the words that came out of my mouth next were completely unprocessed and not well thought.
“I’ll come to you toinorrow, Mata Just leave me alone for now, said, trying to get her to leave. She pouted and pointed out my obvious handouess, not realizing it wasn’t for her. “You’re clearly ready for me, Aston. Don’t deny it. But I just shook my head and told her to leave.
The rest of the night was spent working out, trying to clear my head. I lifted weights and ran on the treadmill, trying to exhaust myself. I was determined to get my mind of Kira, bun it was no use. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, wondering if she was okay and if she needed anything. Come moming. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I needed to see her so I sent for her, it was a decision that I thought well and hard before taking. I couldn’t continue being so restless and I also really needed to check on her
I waited anxiously for her to come and it suddenly felt I didn’t know how to breathe waiting for her to get back. The door thing open and the guards returned but she was not there behind them, they said she refused to open the door for them.
“What do you mean she refused to open the door! Is this some kind of sick joke?” I growled and they all cowered in fear, apologizing for something they didn’t do. I didn’t care who was it fault, I just needed someone to pour out my anger on.
I was annoyed. I had saved her yesterday, spent the rest of the night thinking about her, but clearly, she wanted to start acting stubborn with me again. Or maybe she didn’t think of me at all like I did her. Maybe I didn’t even cross her mind even though she never left mine no matter how hard I tried or what I tried. It was not fair, not one bit and I was not going to stand for it.
Even though I was going to be cursed in this godforsaken feelings, I wasn’t going to be alone in it. I wasn’t going to be the only one to suffer my heart beating like it was going to explode. I was going to make her suffer one way the other, either the same way I was suffering or the way that I chose. It had to be one or the other.
That thought made me even more annoyed, and I stormed to her room, not bothering to knock. I flung open the door and trode inside, my scowl ready and my anger simmering just below the surface. I was like a walking ticking time bomb.
As I entered, my scowl was ready, prepared to go off at her. “What’s your problem, Kira? I sent for you and you refused to come? You must think you can do anything you like now. I truled off when I was getting no response or reaction whatsoever from her. My heart sk**ed a beat as my mind wandered places I didn’t give it permission to.
My anger melted away as soon as I saw her shivering underneath the sheets, clearly sick. Her eyes were sunken and her skin with her. was pale, and my heart went out to her. I felt a pang of guilt for being angry
“Kira, what’s wrong?” I asked, my voice softening. I went to her side, feeling her forehead. She was burning up with fever, and I knew I had to get her help. I’ll get the doctor,” I said, turning to leave, But as I reached the door, I turned back to her “Kira?”
“Yeah?” she whispered.