Chapter 39
The jitters I am feeling deep inside my heart is eating me up. It felt like there are lumps in my throat and it is suffocating. I asked myself if this kind of feeling is normal- if doubting my decision and feeling this way is only a common reaction since I'm about to get tied up with Evan Zendejas.
An hour before my work ends, I gathered all my courage and sent a text message to Evan. Once and for all, I want to talk to him so we can clear things out. I want to tell him everything that is bothering me so he could do something about it... Or we could do something about it.
Me: Can you please meet me after my work? I just need to talk to you, Evan.
I went to the court as I needed to talk to Judge Gonzalez. Luckily, he's still there and the way he moved, I knew that he's about to go home. I handed him the documents for the case we worked on. We had a little conversation about his interest in retiring from his profession. I can't blame him if he already wanted to retire because he's getting older. After talking to Judge Gonzalez, I went back to the office, hoping that Evan is already there as I am done with my work. And yes, he's right there, dazzling like a prince while patiently waiting for me. He's leaning back on the side of his car while his hands are inside his pockets. What a great view...
I pursed my lips, trying to suppress the smile escaping from it. I heaved a huge sigh and walked towards him.
Then our eyes met. My heart started to pound aggressively.
You can do this, Nathalie.
***
We arrived in the same place where we had a drink the last time when I needed to breathe. From where I am standing, I inhaled the fresh and cold night air while looking at the beautiful city view, the street lights and the skyscrapers.... It felt good to be here once again. It gives a relaxing feeling that it makes me calm. I smiled while admiring the view in front of me. The cold wind blew my skin that made me gasp a bit, but it's fine.
I turned around and looked at Evan who is leaning back to his car. He is staring at me when I looked at him. The cold wind is blowing his hair gracefully.
He looked sinfully perfect. I pouted my lips. He's still watching me as if he's giving me the time I need and waiting for me to speak.
I breathed deeply and put my hands inside my coat's pockets.
"Are you ready?" I managed to ask him and looked back at the city view as I waited for him to respond.
"Always." He replied in a calm tone.
I nodded slowly. Of course he is ready! He's one of those people who exerted efforts in preparing everything. He followed me all the way from Manila to Basco Batanes just to ensure that I can no longer do another escape. He tried to earn my trust even though we have different thoughts and we argued most of the time. Despite every negative thing that happened between us, he already earned my interest.
"Can I even trust you, Evan?" I asked him curiously. I smiled a bit and turned to meet his intense gaze once again. "I just want to make sure that I can trust you."
This whole set up is giving me lots of thoughts, lots of questions and lots of mixed feelings. Those are eating me up wholly. And just before I get drown in it, I want to assure myself that I am doing this all correctly.
He's staring at me carefully. He's trying to read every bit of emotion evident in my eyes. I waited for him to answer me, to give the assurance I needed to hear, that we are doing the right thing and I can put my trust on him. "I trust you, Risha." He said softly without even holding back. "And you can always trust me."
I can't help but to smile sincerely at him. That is the only answer I am waiting to hear from him. It is like an assurance for me. His sincerity is more than enough for me to move forward. I will accept him and that will be my final decision. He trusts me and that being said I should learn to trust him too. We have to meet halfway in order for this entire arrangement to work.
In the end, we are still the ones who are bound to help each other no matter what happens, even if we don't feel mutual attraction towards each other. Even if he hasn't moved on from his first love and despite the fact that we are only doing this for the sake of our companies, I think our business relationship will last so long as we trust each other.
Trust and loyalty are truly powerful and I believe that these two will be enough for us even without love.
"I am not hoping for us to fall in love with each other," I inhaled deeply and gave him a smile. "I know where to stand and I am fine with my place. Believe me when I say that you won't hear any negative words from me once we live under the same roof. I will allow you to do anything you want and I won't stop you at all. I am only hoping that you will always do what is right, Evan..." I swallowed hard and shook my head. "You know how difficult it is to come up with this kind of decision, right? I have to surrender everything and that includes my freedom. I have to give up the thought of falling in love with someone because I will be tied up with you. I have to forget everything that I want to achieve in my life because I needed to be with you. My only hope is for you to do what is always... right... I only hope that we are clear about this thing, Evan..."
He looked at me intently. I bit my lower lip as I waited for him to speak. I breathed deeply and just smiled a bit. I embraced myself when I felt the cold wind kissing my skin and then I looked up at the night sky. The million stars are shining brightly up there.
I felt him walking towards me. Our eyes met immediately when I turned to him. My lips parted when he removed his coat and then put it around my shoulders, ensuring that my upper body won't be feel cold. That made me fluster for a moment but then a smile escaped from my lips.
This is likely an unbreakable heaven... I have to admit that.
This man in front of me will own me very soon...
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"You're thinking too much, Risha." He let out a heavy sigh and stared at me with sincerity evident on his eyes. "I understand where you're coming from. But, you have nothing to worry about, I won't make your life miserable, alright?" I chuckled and just nodded at him. What a crazy man!
"Is that a promise?"
He nodded. I wanted to look away but I just can't do it. His eyes are like bewitching the shit in me. I wonder if he's able to read my mind because it feels like he's trying to whenever our our eyes meets. I always feel that he understands what I'm going through simply by looking at my eyes. And I know that sounds crazy.
He licked his lower lip and smiled at me too.
"Of course, my dear Risha. That's a promise..."
"That!" I shook my head and scowled at him. "Stop calling me dear Risha, little Rish or baby... It makes me cringe and I'm not a child anymore. Are we clear about that?"
He raised an eyebrow on me. Now, I can totally see the amusement in his eyes.
"Just because I called you baby doesn't mean that I am seeing a child in you. What made you even think of that?" He snorted at me.
I rolled my eyes. So, what is he trying to say?
"Come on, Evan!" I scowled at him again. "You're way too old for endearments, don't you think so?"
"Hmm, I believe my age has nothing to do with it, baby..."
"Whatever!" I rolled my eyes once again.
I do not understand what he's trying to imply but I also do not care!
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He laughed heartily. I pouted my lips and crossed my arms on my chest. He's making fun of me! I stomped my feet and walked in front of the driver's seat of his car. I opened its door and then I glanced his way. "May I drive this time, Evan?" I asked sweetly so he will allow me to drive.
He tilted his head with a boyish grin flashing on his lips.
"Of course, Risha."
He threw the car key in the air and I immediately caught it with my hands. I smiled widely and went inside the driver's seat.
I started the engine. I giggled in excitement when I heard the familiar sound of the car turning on. I can't remember the last time I drove a car. It has been like forever!
I pressed the horn to get Evan's attention. He was only standing out there and was looking at me. The side of his lips rose. My heart skipped a beat when he flashed his sweet smile at me.
After a few seconds of gawking at me, he finally walked towards the door of the shotgun seat. He hopped in and then looked at me with his creased forehead.
"I still want to live so you better drive safely, Risha..." he stated in a serious tone.
Wow! He's judging my driving skill already!
"Don't you trust me, baby?" I asked him playfully.
He shook his head. "Look who's complaining about me calling her a baby..."
I laughed heartily. "I just imitating you, baby..."
"Yeah, right!" I saw him roll his eyes. "Drive, you little brat."
"Yes, baby!"