Chapter 35
A bad feeling in my gut poked at my inner fortune teller. I spent the entire night being restless, I barely even got any sleep. It was weird to be home. Technically I was at my parents place, in my old room. They wouldn't let me go back to my apartment and quite frankly, I didn't know if I was quite ready to be back there, alone.
Not being able to sit any longer in the suffocating room, I got ready and headed out, being stopped before leaving by my obviously overprotective father.
'Where are you going?' I turned to look at him, he was lounging on the sofa with a cup of coffee in hand and one leg draped over the other, but his eyes, they were focused on me as a frown circled his face.
'I need fresh air.' I turned towards the door in hopes of not being interrupted again but I knew very well that dad was not going to let me go out on my own this easy.
'So open the window.' He suggested, clearly not understanding the fact that I need fresh air. Like air. Outside. Not in here. The window was in the house. I needed to be outside of the house.
'No dad, I really need to get out.' I took a deep breath, not wanting to argue my way out of this, as much as I loved him for caring so much that he didn't want me out alone, I just couldn't deal with being in the house any longer, I felt like I was suffocating. I hadn't seen the outside world for three months, I think I owed myself this.
'Then I'll come with.' He started to get up but I spoke too fast, I couldn't handle having to make small talk with him. I needed to be alone, outside. 'No, that's not necessary. I really need some time alone, I can't breathe within these walls and I really really need you to understand me right now.' I was getting frustrated and I'm sure he saw that, with a nod of his head, he stood up and came over to me, pulling a phone out of his pocket.
'I understand baby. But I'm going to need you to keep this on you, it has a tracker on it. I know you feel like I'm smothering you right now but I just can't risk losing you again.' His eyes seemed so full of sorrow as he stared at me, holding the phone out for me to take.
'Sure, I'll keep it on me. Thanks dad. I love you.' I shot him a small smile which he returned with an 'I love you too' and with that, I was gone.
It felt weird to drive again. To be on the road, free from the world as I hit the gas and sped into the freedom that awaited me. Windows down, I welcomed the wind as it whispered into my face. It was cold, winter was here and the ground was filled up with snow as the snow flakes landed on top of each other, coating life with the cold white ice that cooled down the heat inside my soul.
I had to have been driving for about forty minutes until I stopped somewhere, a place I used to come when things weren't all ok. Stepping out of the car, the snow swallowed my shoes with every step I took. The trees blocked the view of the road behind, many, many trees that were covered in white. I inhaled the cold winter air as I walked towards the frozen lake. I wanted to say that I felt relaxed, that I felt at ease but that nagging gut feeling was here again, warning me, telling me that something wasn't right.
Dismissing the bad feeling as me being paranoid, I stood on the deck, taking in the breathtaking view before me. The sky had darkened and I knew the night was close. Just as close as I felt to a bad ending to my day as I heard a rustling coming from behind me. Spinning around, I held my heart in my hand as I stepped closer to where the rustling sound had came from.
I wasn't going to greet the intruder like all the cliche movies where the girl just yells 'hello?' as if the bad guy is going to jump out like pikaboo! But as an idiot that I am, not learning my lesson clearly, I stayed put instead of getting in my car and driving straight back to the safety of my home.
A part of me thought that maybe he was here. That maybe I could talk to him, although I knew even taking a look at him would make me feel sick but he deserved to know, I wasn't the only one that lost a baby.. he did too. I wondered if he even knew, I pretty much doubt it. I guess he didn't even deserve the right to know, he had brought it on me by force. I felt sick again as I thought about what he'd done to me. As much as I knew I was partly to blame for this, in fact I blamed myself almost more than I blamed him, I just couldn't find it in me to see him again. The thought made me nauseous.
Another rustling came into my hearing and I knew I wasn't hallucinating. Someone. Was. Here. And I had a bad feeling that I knew exactly who that someone was. I swallowed down my fear and looked around, it was getting darker and I couldn't quite see through the trees properly. That unnerved me, I felt like I was going to wake up any minute and find that I'm dreaming but no, the sound came again, this time, it was much louder and much closer, almost as though.. it was coming from behind me.
Stacking up all of my energy, I bolted for the car, my heart pounding in my chest as my feet barely cooperated with me. If I said it was easy to run in the thick snow, I would be lying. It was more than difficult and I felt like I was slowing down with each rush of my legs.
Panic rose into the surface and suddenly I felt like I was getting sucked into the snow, never making it to the car but I kept going, I had to be strong, that's what I had said. That's what I had told myself I would be so I wasn't going to stop now.
I almost felt relieved when I reached the car but then I realised I hadn't got my key ready, I frantically searched for the key in my pockets, my entire body was shaking with fear. With every second that flew by, I could feel the person's presence getting closer to me and god I wanted to melt into the snow and become one with the snow flakes but to my disappointment, that was never going to happen and no one was here to save me but me.
Finally pulling the key out, I unlocked the door, my heart halted and my movements stopped as I eyed the uninvited shadow that scattered across my car. He was right behind me.
Before I could let out a deafening scream, a hand wrapped around my mouth and my heart stopped beating.
He had me.