Chapter 32
I nuzzled into the warmth I felt around me. Large arm draped across my waist, a solid chest pressed into my back. For a second I didn't realise who exactly was cuddling me from behind until.. I jumped up, backing away from him. My heart beating loud enough to wake him up.
'What's wrong?' His voice groggy from sleep. He reached for my wrist, pulling me back down against him. It took me a minute to calm down. I wasn't used to sleeping next to him or sleeping in the same room as him at all.
'What happened?' He kissed my forehead, his gesture gentle and soothing but only I knew what he had done. Every time I looked at him I felt sick and I couldn't help but to want to be away from him.
I had gave into him, I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me without putting up a fight, I didn't want to be drugged anymore, so if giving him what he wanted was all it took to be free from the constant slumber he put me in, I was going to give him just that.
'I, nothing.' I hoped he wouldn't ask again. I didn't know what to tell him without angering him. He was more gentle now, his touch was soft, his words were soft. Maybe if I kept this up, he wouldn't hurt me anymore.
'I scared you.' It was more of a statement than a question but I guess it was more than obvious that seeing him next to me had frightened me. He didn't seem angry though, he seemed sort of hurt but as usual, he never let his emotions linger on his face long enough for it to expose how he was really feeling.
'Yes.' I knew it hurt him to get a confirmation from me but this was his own fault. I had never been afraid of him, he gave me a reason to be scared.
We lay there in silence for a little while longer as he held me in his arms, it felt wrong but it felt right. I felt stupid. He'd torn me to pieces and still, a part of me felt safe in his arms. Maybe because I knew that no one else could get me, for he was the only danger that lurked in the darkness around me.
I stiffened up as his hand made its way up the shirt he had gave me again, I felt sick with every movement of his touch against my skin. Placing my hand over his, I pleaded him with my eyes to stop. I couldn't do that now, I needed some time to get myself ready for it, but he didn't stop.
'Shh.' He whispered into me as he climbed on top of me, pinning me down against the bed. He reached for his manhood almost instantly, I couldn't do it. Not this time, it was too fast. Why couldn't he wait. Why was he doing this!
'Stop!' I yelled, panic was rising in my bones as my hands pushed against his chest. He looked angry, like I wasn't suppose to do that.
'Don't do that.' His voice was low as he stared me down. It was my fault for giving into him yesterday and now, he thought that I was ready for him to do whatever with me whenever he wanted. I had to get used to it, I needed time.
'I can't, right. Now.' I spoke through my panic, every time I looked into his eyes I saw the Chase that had tortured me over and over again.
'Who gave you options?' I could see the frustration that surged through him. He was getting angry and I could predict what was going to happen and what I predicted, wasn't pretty.
'You did that to mess with my head huh?' He got up and moved off the bed, pulling me with him. I tried to yank my arm away from him but he kept a tight hold on me. Placing me in the exact same position he had cuffed me in yesterday, he stood behind me, speaking into my ear.
'Remember this? Was that a way to make me think I can trust you?' He grabbed my hair and pushed my head down onto the mattress, I could feel his erection against my backside.
'You didn't object yesterday, so why now? I don't have a gun to your head today?' He was raging and I knew what must've been going through his head, he thought I tried to play him or get into his head. It wasn't true. I never wanted to play with him, even if I hated him, I didn't do it to hurt him.
'The only person that's trying to get in your head is yourself Chase.' He stilled at my words, I knew it wasn't the time nor the place to be further angering him but I had to say it. He had to know that all of that mess in his head, it was him, he was the one doing this to himself.
Pulling me back up and held me against him, wrapping a hand around my mouth and nose, blocking any air supply. 'Don't talk.' He spoke into my ear. He was scaring me again, I couldn't breathe and I felt like he was actually going to kill me this time if kept me from breathing any longer.
Biting his hand as hard as I could, I earned myself the freedom of my mouth as he let go, the split second that he let go of me, I bolted for the door, I knew it was pointless but I risked it anyway. As a result of my rebellion choices he grabbed my hair and pulled me back, throwing me to the floor.
On my way down I hit my side into the table with the monitors on them. Clutching the side of my stomach in my arms, I moaned out in pain. I hadn't hit it too hard so I didn't understand why I was in so much pain all of a sudden.
Noticing the obvious amount of pain I was in, it seemed as though he snapped out of his bipolar moment and rushed over to me, crouching down, he lifted my face. 'Where does it hurt?' He looked down at where I was holding and placed his hand over it. 'Here?' He pressed down a little bit and the pain intensified causing me to groan louder.
'I need you to listen to me. Breathe with me ok?' I nodded my head and inhale and exhaled with the signal of his hands.
'It's ok, it's ok, just relax.' He closed his eyes for a split second, rubbing over his jaw as he seemed to be deep in thought. His attention came back to me not long after, he leaned in and touched my head.
'You don't have a fever but your skin has paled out.' He scooped me up into his arms and carried me over to the bed, all the while I moaned out in agony. My vision was starting to blur and my head felt light.
'Stay with me.' He chanted as he grabbed my face and tried to make me focus but I couldn't hear him anymore. The pain was too much and I felt like my insides were being ripped apart. I didn't understand why this was happening to me.
'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' He held me against him, I could feel the beating of his heart, in fact it was the only thing I was focusing on, it seemed to distract me from the pain for a little while. I rested my head against him, my eyes fluttering shut, everything around me faded and I was left with the nothingness I was drowning in.