Chapter 21
Looking up at the ceiling, I thought about my conversation with Chase. Something didn't feel right, I mean yes he had stopped taking his medication but something other than that.. he looked like he really hated me, like he truly believed that I'd betrayed him. Which in a way, I sort of did by doubting him and turning my back on him but it seemed to be more than that and I couldn't quite understand it.
'Bella sweety, how long are you going to lay there with that look on your face?' Mother walked over to me with a worried expression and a bowl of fruits in hand. I'd been laying on the sofa for god knows how long, I just couldn't find it in me to get up and move.
'Thanks.' I halfheartedly smiled at her while I took the bowl from her hands. Sitting up, I forced a strawberry in my mouth. My appetite had long vanished. It was my mind that wouldn't stop working.
'Want to talk about it?' She sat down next to me, rubbing my hands. I could see the pain she felt as she watched me be so disoriented. I didn't want to worry her or even upset her but I couldn't stay in my apartment, I felt like the walls were going to close in on me and eventually swallow me whole.
'No I'm ok.' I placed another strawberry in my mouth. Surely I looked like death in her eyes, I hadn't even changed my clothes from yesterday. I just needed some time to think and some time to put together mine and Chase's conversation. What had I said wrong? Why was he so different all of a sudden?
'It's him isn't it?' She sighed and rested her back on the sofa, her eyes on me, watching me intently. 'You know, I never believed him to be all that bad.' I shot her a shocked look, I thought she hated him too, I knew for sure Dad did.
'You didn't?' Putting the bowl down on the table, I turned to face her, suddenly very interested in what she had to say as she shook her head and gave me a faint smile.
'No. I didn't. I just didn't want your dad to worry, otherwise, I know that even the worst of the worst, have their own reasons to be that way.' I felt relieved to hear that coming out of her mouth. Did she think like me? After all, she was my mum, we had to have some similarities.
'He's so misunderstood mum. It's like no one gets it.' I felt pain for him, he truly was always alone. No one deserves to be that deserted.
'I think one day, he'll find himself again. The best you can do for him right now is to believe in him. He's a very special person.' Ok I was really shocked now, a special person? Why did mum and dad always talk like they knew him more than they let on, they hadn't even met the guy.
'What's with the sudden change of heart mum?' I raised a brow, partly happy that she seems to think differently about him than Dad but partly disappointed that even with her opinion on him, she doesn't stick up for him.
'I can see that you're concerned about him and who am I to judge the person my daughter has feelings for?' I swallowed down my response. It felt strange to have her say that. Feelings? I'm not sure if she had it all right but I didn't bother correcting her. In all honesty, I didn't know how I felt towards him.
'But you need to understand that no matter how innocent he could be or how misunderstood he is, he isn't right for you hunny. If you strip him from head to toe, he is still a murderer, he has still killed and he could possibly kill again. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I don't know what I'd do if he ever managed to hurt you.' She lowered her gaze, something distant on her mind. I studied her expression but I couldn't quite find my answers. She seemed to be deep in thought, as if she was thinking about something painful, maybe she was thinking about Becca. She'd lost one daughter, I understand that she didn't want to lose another. But what she didn't get is that, Chase wasn't going to hurt me, at least, I'd hoped not.
'I understand but I don't think he would ever hurt someone without a reason.' She looked up at me, drifting out of the trans she was in.
'No, not without a reason, but with you. He has a reason.' A frown covered her features, matching the one on mine. Why did she think he had a reason to hurt me? Apart from walking out on him, I hadn't done anything to him to make him want to hurt me.
'What reason mum?' Her eyes flickered from my face to her hands, she seemed to be deep in thought again, not knowing what she was thinking was really bothering me.
'What reason?' I repeated, catching her attention.
'You stopped visiting for a while and blamed him for the attacks on you, that gives him enough reason to want to hurt you. It doesn't take much for a psychopath to hold a grudge. In his eyes, you let him down.' She fidgeted in her seat then got up and headed towards the kitchen, leaving me sat here with nothing but confusion. Could she be right? Or was there more to it than she let on?
'Pizza?' She smiled at me, holding a box of pizza up, clearly trying to lighten up the mood. Sending her a small nod with half a smile, I thought back to what she had said. Something told me that she wasn't being completely honest with me, that she knew more than she had said and whatever it was, it wasn't good.