Chase: and the girl who came back

I miss her.

It takes everything in me to not pick up the phone and call her.

I know everyone is right when they told me to give her some space. I know she didn’t mean the things she said. I just don’t understand why she flew off the handle like she did. Something happened, I know that much.

I’ve seen how she gets jumpy when someone touches her.

I’ve watched her panic in crowds.

I’ve even seen her space out like she is re-living something in her head.

She says she doesn’t get night terrors when she stays with me. I wonder how she slept last night.

Arden walks into the kitchen and throws his keys at me.

“She’s all ready to go. Look after my baby.” He says while pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting at the table with me. “The hotel is all booked. Same one we stayed at when we were in New Hope last. Everything is settled. Just bill all your meals to your room.”

“Thanks.” Earlier this morning I got a call from Doc’s Body Shop in New Hope asking if I could come up for a few days trial to see if I’d be a good fit for the apprenticeship for next year.

“Are you sure now’s a good time to leave?” Arden asks.

“I don’t really have a choice. Doc’s is my first choice. I need to do this. Plus, if I’m an hour away I’ll be less likely to bang down her door. You were the one who told me to give her some space.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to run away,” he responds.

“I’m not running. I’m planning for our future. I can’t rely on you to support us forever,” I tell him. I know Arden expects nothing in return. He just wants us all to be together and to be happy. He’d happily continue to support us. But at some point, we need to be able to stand on our own.

“I’d happily support you forever. I could be your sugar daddy,” Arden jokes, causing me to choke on my coffee.

“I’ll pass.”

“I’m joking, kind of. But I know what you mean. I know I have the money behind me, but I’d like to start earning my own. I’ll never run out of money, especially with all the trust funds set up, but I’d like to invest and create my own wealth. Separate from my family’s name,” Arden says honestly.

I know this. We’ve spoken about it in depth. Arden may like to throw cash around on stupid things sometimes, but his record keeping is immaculate. He plans on paying his dad back one day. It may take him twenty years, but he’s determined to do it. I believe if anyone can, it’ll be Arden.

“Look out for her while I’m gone?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. Yasmin is family. They’ll all have eyes on her.

“As if you even need to ask. Are you going to tell her?”

“I don’t know. Should I?”

“Yes. Don’t let her find out when you don’t show up for school tomorrow. Don’t be a dick,” Arden says.

“Okay, do you need a lift home?”

“Nah I’m all good. I’m going to hang here for a bit and then Ralph will come and get me,” He says as he makes his way out of the kitchen in the direction of the lounge room.

I rinse out my cup and look at my unanswered messages that I sent to Yasmin this morning.

Chase: I hope you managed to get some sleep

Chase: I missed you last night

Chase: Your pillow smells like you. It makes me miss you more

I know she’s seen them; the little tick tells me so. I don’t want to send her a message to tell her I’m leaving. Instead, I head out the back door and sit on the deck. I press call without even thinking.

I don’t expect her to answer. I plan to leave a voicemail. Really, I just want to hear her voice. I’ll take her voicemail message at this point.

Just when I think it’s going to ring out, the line connects.

There’s no sound on the other end.

“Yasmin?” I ask, not sure that she actually answered the call.

“Yeah I’m here,” she whispers.

“Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to call instead of message. I’m going to New Hope for a few days,” I explain.

“Oh… Okay,” she replies. There’s uncertainty in her voice, and it hurts me to hear it. I know she needs the space, but I don’t want her to think that I’m leaving because of what happened yesterday.

“I got asked to come in for a trial at Doc’s Body Shop. They want to offer me an apprenticeship, but they want to make sure that I’m the right fit for the shop,” I explain trying to ease her a little.

“Wow, that’s fantastic. When do you leave?” She asks. Her voice is sad and distant.

“Soon, Arden just dropped off his car. I’ll be back on Friday night.”

“Okay.” She says, her voice distant again.

“I’m not going to stop messaging you Yasmin. Being away from you hurts. But I’m doing this for us. I’m giving you the space you need and I’m setting up our future. I’m not going anywhere. No matter how hard you push,” I say, meaning every single word. I’m not letting her run away.

Well, not letting her run away for long.

“Thank you, Chase,” she says, and I hear her voice break. I know she’s crying.

“I wish I could hold you.” I don’t even think about the words before they leave my mouth.

“I wish you could as well. Be patient with me please.” She sobs.

“Always. I’ll let you know when I get to the hotel. I’m only a phone call away Yasmin. Call me whenever you feel like it.”

“Okay. Drive safe.”

“I will,” I say and hang up the phone. If I stay on there any longer, I won’t be leaving for New Hope. I’ll be banging down her door.

I say my goodbye to Arden and leave, glancing over at her house on my way out of the driveway.