CHAOS (Beneath The Secrets Book 1)

Song- Sugar, Sleep Token.

Slamming the door shut to the dressing room, I step in front of the full-length mirror.

I look hot. I’ve worked hard to try to get my body back after Maeve’s birth.

Clearly not hard enough.

My body changed. I have faint stretch marks on my hips. I hate them. That’s why I wear these high waisted shorts. My ass is still out, but my hips are covered.

Wiping away a stray tear with the back of my hand, I can’t go back in there. I need to go and find Gil and see if I can get on the main stage instead.

Tossing the notes from my bra onto the table, it’s not enough.

I need the damn money. Especially with the hospital bills coming my way. My daughter needs a roof over her head, and I have to do what I need to.

I just need a second to clear my head.

Seeing Brody and Jax together threw my mind into turmoil.

The man who I’ve dreamt about finding for two years. The eyes I stare into every morning when I pick up Maeve for a cuddle.

The man whose strong hands I can still feel on my body. That one night altered my life forever, not just with Maeve, but my heart.

When I walked into that room, it hurt. Seeing them together. Brody got to have a relationship with him. I didn’t, nor did his daughter.

But even then, he still consumed me. When our eyes locked, it was as if two years had never passed. There is no way I can let him back in. I don’t think I can take it. How do I tell him he’s a dad? That could ruin everything for him. He could be married or dating someone. He could have more kids.

I am no one to him. Just his ex-sister-in-law, who he happens to have fucked. A mistake.

Why the hell is he here with Brody? And why did he knock him out for me?

My eyes snap up in the mirror as I hear the lock click behind me. Chills run down my spine as Jax’s dark eyes meet mine and he stalks towards me, stopping just behind me.

I suck in a breath, the room now fizzling around me.

I don’t know what to say, so I keep my lips sealed shut. I glance down at the blood covering his knuckles, and it’s hard not to smile.

Seeing Brody get knocked out is a highlight of my life. The asshole deserves it.

Without a word, he brushes my hair away and exposes my shoulder. Without thinking, I tip my head to the side and he rests his chin there.

Eating me up with his eyes in the mirror.

“Don’t listen to a word that asshole said, sweetheart.”

I slowly nod, not trusting myself to speak. My body sparks alight as his index finger trails up my side, leaving tingles in its wake.

“You are, and always were, fucking gorgeous. Way too beautiful to be here.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat.

With his finger now stroking my neck, he tips my head back. Blood thumps in my ears as I wait for his next move.

“You need to leave, Jax.” It comes out in a whisper.

He shakes his head, running his tongue along his lip.

“We were meant to break rules together. We aren’t done, tigritsa.”

I blink a few times.

“We are. We were done two years ago. One night. A mistake, clearly.”

He tuts, his lips now brushing against my neck.

“Is that what you think? That I don’t replay that night on a loop in my brain?”

My mouth falls open. He’s lying. He has to be.

“I doubt that. I bet I haven’t even crossed your mind. How can you be friends with Brody otherwise?”

He chuckles, his chest rubbing against my back.

“I just smashed his face in. He’s irrelevant to me.”

“Oh, right, how could I forget? The King of Chaos.”

Something flashes across his face, almost like hurt.

“You knew who I was the entire time?” he says with a frown.

“Yep,” I lie, feeling the warmth spread along my cheeks. He doesn’t need to know I found out less than an hour ago.

“You’re a bad liar, aren’t you, sweetheart? Because if you did, you would have found me.”

I swallow, I can’t say I haven’t tried.

“Nope. There was no need. Once was enough.”

He takes a step back, and I immediately miss his body pressed against mine.

“Was it? It wasn’t for me.”

I turn to face him, a spark lighting inside of me as I’m met with a smile.

He takes a step forward, and I take one back, until my back is up against the cold floor-length mirror. His nose just a breath away from mine.

“There are plenty of women out there to entertain you,” I say, needing some distance. He’s too much.

“Not interested. The only woman I want is right in front of me.”

I roll my eyes and he grips my chin.

“Don’t do that. I’m serious.”

“So am I,” I bite back and he leans in.

“You left your claws in me for two years, Sofia.”

“What do you want? Another quick fuck so you can go laugh about it to your new friends?”

“Oh, sweet, sweet, Sofia. You have no idea, do you?”

He leans in closer, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear.

“You can play hard to get all you like. I fucking love the chase.”

“And I love to run.”

“Let the games begin, sweetheart.” He winks and steps away, tossing notes by my feet.

“What’s that for?”

It’s enough for me to get out of here for the night. To pay her medical bills.

“Clearly you need more money. This isn’t you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know enough, Sofia. Now dance for me, baby. Make it worth every single dollar.”

I keep looking between him and the notes. He can’t be serious.

“Strip for me, tigritsa.”

As he says that nickname, the one I’ve had playing on repeat in my brain. Tigress. And he isn’t offering this as a question.

“What? No,” I stutter.

I feel empty as he steps back, a darkness flashing across his eyes as he shoves his hand in his pocket and throws another roll of cash next to my feet.

“I can’t get caught doing private dances.” I spin to face him, looking up at him through my lashes.

“I locked the door. No one is stepping foot in here.” He smirks and pulls a chair across and takes a seat in front of me.

“I’ve just thrown thousands of dollars at your feet. Dance for me.”

I blow out a breath. What’s once more, anyway? It’s the last time I truly felt alive.

“Fine. I have strict no touching rules, though.”

He scoffs, pushing himself back up, and I cross my arms across my chest, holding my breath as he leans down.

“Tell me, was the ‘don’t fuck my brother-in-law’ rule high up on that strict list?” he whispers in my ear.

“We had a break from rules that night, remember?” I bite back a grin.

“There are never any rules when it comes to us, sweetheart. I shouldn’t still be dreaming about fucking you after all this time. Yet, I do, often.”

My mouth falls open, and he laughs.

“I got to you, too, didn’t I?” He strokes my cheek.

He has no idea. Which is why this can’t happen. I have Maeve to think about.

I place my palm over his hand, leaning into his touch.

“Sit down, gorgeous.”

He pulls back and his eyes light up. As he sits himself down, his legs spread. I can’t help but admire my view. Going back to my table, I pick up a couple of thongs from the drawer and walk over to him.

“What are you doing?” he asks, raising an eyebrow as I start to tie his wrists as tight as I can to the arms of the chairs.

“One rule,” I reply with a grin.

“You honestly believe that is enough to keep me from you?” He chuckles.

No. It won’t. But it’ll give me a head start.

He tips his head back slightly. I lean forward and run my tongue along his throat.

“Do you think you can be a good boy and follow my rules?”

He groans in my ear, and my pussy is throbbing. I want him.

“For you, you know I can,” he replies in a low voice, almost a growl.

“Good.”

Running my hands down his chest, over his abs, I keep going all the way down his thighs.

“Are you an ass or a boobs man?”

“I’m a Sofia man. I want to see all of you.”

“I wanna try something. I think it will be hot,” I say, eyeing one of my sparkly belts.

He raises a brow. “Close your eyes.”

He does as I say, and I snatch up the belt, positioning myself behind him, running my nails through his dark curls, before placing the belt over his eyes.

“Sure you don’t want to choke me with that first?” he says with amusement in his tone.

Visions of doing just that invade my mind. Jesus, why is everything he says so hot?

“Maybe later, you could even do that to me, too,” I whisper in his ear, tightening the belt.

“Fuck, baby,” he moans as I run my hands along his broad shoulders.

Placing wet kisses along his jawline up to his ear, he’s already tugging at his restraints.

“Let me go grab one more thing.” I place a kiss on his cheek and retreat.

Collecting all my cash from the floor, shoving it in my purse and stopping just before the door.

My heart wants to stay, to give him the show of his life and remind me of how good he makes me feel.

My head is screaming at me to leave. Him and Brody, he’s Maeve’s dad. He’s a thug. He won’t want me. What if he rejects her?

It’s all too much. I need time to process. When the time is right.

As silently as I can, I steal one last glance and open the door.

“Sofia?”

Shit.

Stepping out, I close the door behind me and run as fast as I can.