SWNOVELS Chance: Chapter 24
Rory got plates,napkins, forks, and knives, and set them on the kitchen table. The food smelled delicious and her belly growled. Since Emma Grace had given her the anti-nausea meds, she wasn’t having too terrible of a time with food. Chance came inside and went over to the sink to wash his hands. She eyed him as she got glasses from the cabinet and set them on the table along with the pitcher of tea, her heart beating just a little bit harder at the sight of him standing at her kitchen sink like he belonged there.
He dried his hands and came over to join her. She dished out her food and handed him the containers so he could do the same.
“Any news about the Dawg?” he asked when she took a bite of her pork sandwich. She bugged her eyes at him and he laughed. “Sorry, didn’t meant to ask when your mouth was full.”
“We had to call a mold remediation specialist,” she said after she’d swallowed her food. “There isn’t any mold yet, but we’ll have to be really careful because we’re in the danger zone when it can start growing. George has added a couple extra fans and another dehumidifier.”
“And if it does grow?”
“If it does, we’re looking at a lot of money to fix it. We’re also looking at having to shut down while it’s done. Could take a few days. Maybe even a week.”
“Assuming everything dries out without mold becoming a problem, when can you open?”
“I hope Wednesday. We have to have a health inspector out to make sure everything is good.” She wasn’t happy about that, but there was nothing she could do. She just had to hope everything worked out so they could open and get back to serving customers and earning an income. “The police questioned people in the vicinity, but nobody saw anything suspicious.”
“Not even Colleen?”
“Nope, she didn’t see anything either. Theo said she must have been sleeping off a seance or a night with the aliens.”
“The one fucking time you want her to be nosy,” Chance grumbled as he picked up a rib and tore a chunk off with perfect white teeth. “Damn these ribs are good.”
Rory peeled off a strip and popped it in her mouth. “Oh yeah, Clarence knows his way around a pig. Speaking of pigs,” she said, and then told him about running into Ronnie Davis and Ronnie-fucking-Junior.
Chance had gone still, his eyes glowing like hot coals. “He said that to you?”
“Which part, Chancey Pants? Ronnie telling me the offer could go down if I have to sell the farm to save the Dawg or RJ calling me a little girl and flipping me off?”
“All of it,” he growled.
“Yes, that’s pretty much word for word. They’re rude assholes, both of them.”
It felt kind of nice to have a man other than her brother angry on her behalf. Especially a man like Chance. Big, strong, and trained to defend.
He’d said all she had to do was choose him and he’d be hers. Longing rocked her body. She was tired of being alone, tired of fighting to keep things going by herself. Not that Theo wasn’t there for her, but it wasn’t the same thing. She wanted what Emma Grace had.
She wanted a man who adored her, who looked at her like she was the center of the universe, and who’d take care of her when she needed it same as she’d take care of him. Her throat grew tight. It wasn’t the same for her as for other people. She potentially could need a lot of care at some point. She might need a kidney transplant, or her vision might fail. Diabetes had a high cost sometimes. Whenever she’d tried to talk to Mark about the future, he’d told her she needed to be positive, not negative. That it was borrowing trouble to discuss it.
She should have realized he was avoiding the issue because he actually didn’t want to deal with her being incapacitated in any way. Maybe that was why he’d started the affair with Tammy. Because the reality of Rory’s health was too much for him and he didn’t have the balls to tell her so.
“I’ll put a stop to it. And if they approach you again, I’m gonna make them wish they hadn’t.”
His expression made her stomach clench, but in a good way. Good grief, what did it say about her that she actually got a little turned on by a man intimating he’d commit violence on her behalf?
“You don’t have to do that.” Because somebody had to be reasonable here. Much as she loved the idea of him kicking asses for her, it wouldn’t be a good idea. Chief Vance was sure to disapprove. Then there was Chance’s business with his friends. Couldn’t have that suffer because he got into trouble for assaulting assholes who deserved it.
“I don’t have to, but I will.”
She reached out and put her hand on top of his. His eyes snapped to hers. Heat and need throbbed inside her bones, her blood. Was it the same for him? She pulled her hand away and smiled. “I don’t want you getting into trouble for me, Chance. All they’re doing is running their mouths. Now if they’re the ones who tore up the garden and drilled the pipe, then I’d really love to see them nailed to the wall.”
“Kitten, if I go after them, nobody’s gonna know it was me. Promise you that.”
A shiver dropped through her. “I will.”
He gave her a look. “Nah, you only think you will. I was in the military. I know how to hide the bodies.”
“Chance.”
“I’m kidding, Rory. Mostly.” He stabbed some greens with his fork. “Nobody threatens you and gets away with it. All I’m gonna do is make that known. They want to play after that, shit’s on them because I’m not kidding around. I’ll mop the fucking floor with them both.”
She stared at him, her heart hammering in her chest. Her body was a mess of emotion, enhanced by hormones, and she didn’t actually know what was going to happen next. So it really shouldn’t have been a surprise when she started to cry.
Chance’s face went pale. He dropped his fork and slid his chair to her side. “Babe,” he said, tugging her close.
She turned her face into his shoulder and sniffled. “I’m sorry. I’m not upset. It’s just these stupid damned hormones. Everything is emotional.” She waved her hand at her plate. “The food makes me cry. I’m not at work tonight and I should be. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow, and I don’t know what she’s going to say.”
Rory hitched in a breath and tried to stop the tears from flowing, but they dripped down her cheeks like she was the most helpless creature to ever draw breath. Really, she did not do this kind of thing. She bucked up and got on with it.
“Sorry,” she sniffled. “Sorry.”
Chance leaned back in his chair and dragged her across his lap, cradling her against his chest. She shouldn’t have allowed it, but she was powerless to stop it. She didn’t want to stop it. Being in his arms felt good, and though it was the surest way to the danger zone, she wanted the comfort more than she wanted to erect the walls around her heart at the moment.
“Don’t apologize. You’ve been through a lot, and you’ve just had a life-changing event that scares you. I get it. Hell, I’m scared too. I don’t know what kind of dad I’ll be, if I even know how it’s done.”
She lifted her head to gaze at him. “I don’t know, Chance, but if you can manage to comfort me when I burst into tears over pork, then I think you may have some kind of instincts in the right direction.”
He brushed her hair from her face. The gesture was so tender, his expression so wistful, that she found herself wanting to kiss him and make it go away. Or maybe it was just herself she wanted to soothe. She didn’t know, and that was yet another thing that worried her.
“I think it was a little more than pulled pork that did it.” His voice was soft, gentle. Like she was one of the barn cats that she wanted to pet when she was little. Her mother had told her to speak softly and not make any sudden moves so they’d come to her.
It’d worked, but it took a lot of patience. Something she didn’t always have.
That was Chance right now. Patient and kind.
“Maybe it wasn’t just the pork.” She sniffed. “Why did you say that? About being a dad?”
He sighed and closed his eyes for a second. The pain in them when he looked at her again made her heart pinch.
“I had a great dad until I was thirteen. He took me hunting, came to my games, wanted me to go to Ole Miss and play football like he did. But he and my mom…”
Rory ached for him. She didn’t know what he was about to say, but she knew what it was like to lose a parent. She put her fingers on his cheek, turned his face so he was looking at her. She tried to tell him she understood, but the words didn’t come.
He seemed to hear them anyway.
“My mom suffered from depression. She might have been schizophrenic, but I don’t actually know. She thought my dad was having an affair. She took a pistol from his gun safe, and when he came home one night, she shot him.”
Shock jolted through her. “Chance. My God. I’m so sorry.”
He wrapped her hand in his, lifted it to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “I know you are. Thank you. She never uttered another word. They took her to jail, put her on trial, and locked her up. She died in a mental facility, of cancer, a few years later, having never spoken again. I went into foster care because there was no family to take me. Aged out of the system at eighteen and joined the military at twenty. The military saved me, or I would have been a punk. I was on the way there. Rebellious, angry, destructive. I hung out with the wrong crowd, did things that could have gotten me killed or jailed. So when I say I don’t know how to be a great dad, I’m not lying.” He blew out a breath. “Shit, didn’t mean to make this about me. I just wanted you to know I understand your fear.”
She couldn’t help but give him a watery smile. “Chancey Pants, you’re a good guy. You didn’t make it about you. You distracted me and made me curious. Which I’ve been since you said you lost people violently when you were thirteen. I’m so, so sorry, honey. If I could change it for you, I would.”
Her heart hurt for the boy he’d been. He’d had a home, parents, a dad who wanted him to go to Ole Miss, and then it’d all been taken away. He’d gone into foster care, gotten angry, and had a completely different life than he’d expected to have.
“Thanks, kitten.”
He still looked troubled and she squeezed his hand, took a deep breath. “I’m scared. Not of being pregnant, though that too. But I’m scared of you. Because you say you want to be here to help me, to help with our kid, but do you really know what you’d be getting into? I don’t mean the kid, because that’s a lot of work for everybody. I mean me. I’m diabetic, Chance. It’s incurable. I’ll never get better. I can only manage what I’ve got, but there are things that could happen to me.”
“I know that, Aurora. I did my research. You could need a transplant at some point. You might have vision issues. Neuropathy. Hearing impairment. There are a lot of potential things that could happen. Doesn’t mean they will.”
“Doesn’t mean they won’t.”
He put a gentle finger over her mouth. “Shut it, babe. I know what could happen. You know, too. So if it happens, we deal with it.”
Her body shook. He was like Mark, putting her off, not wanting to talk about it. She needed to get away from him, stop letting him get inside her heart and her head. The panic swelled, but she didn’t move. Because another part of her brain, the logical part, told her to just fucking listen to what he was saying.
He didn’t say to stop thinking about it or talking about it. He said they would deal with it if it happened.
“If I wanted to talk about a plan for if something happened to me, would you do that? Or would you tell me to stop being negative?”
He looked horrified. “Why the fuck would I think you were being negative? This is something you’ve lived with for years. I imagine you’ve thought of what could happen a lot.”
Relief flooded her. “I have. I’m not inviting it or willing it into existence, but I feel like I need some kind of plan so the people I love aren’t stuck either figuring it out or supporting me while I fall apart.”
“Makes sense to me. Was it the ex who told you not to be negative?”
She nodded. “He never wanted to talk about it. Another red flag I missed. How can you contemplate a future with someone who might have serious medical issues down the road without ever discussing it?”
“Maybe he was scared. Not making an excuse for him, but some people can’t handle thinking about things before they happen.”
“Can you?
“My job in the military involved thinking of the absolute worst thing that could happen to me and my team and planning for it. So yes, I can.”
She wanted to believe him. So much. “You can see why I don’t take getting involved with someone lightly. There’s too much at stake, and I don’t want to go all in like I did before only to end up alone when I really need that person in my corner. I’d rather be alone now than end up devastated later.”
“Babe, I say this with understanding for what you’ve been through, but you need to realize that’s a bullshit excuse. You can’t control the future. You can’t control if something happens to you, and you damned sure can’t control what happens to another person. Whether it’s me or some other man, you don’t know that we won’t get hit by a bus or have a heart attack or get mauled by a bear. You don’t fucking know, Rory. You can’t know. The future is a gamble whether you build it with another person or go it alone.”
Her eyes stung. Her heart hammered. Her body trembled. He was right. He was fucking right, and it scared her to pieces. She couldn’t insulate herself from heartache by being alone. She was going to have a kid, and she didn’t know that something wouldn’t happen to that child either. You couldn’t disaster proof your life by staying disconnected.
“I know,” she whispered, her voice tight. “But that doesn’t make it easy to trust someone. To trust you.”
“I get that. But you gotta start somewhere. Start with believing me when I tell you I know what could happen with your diabetes. I’ll discuss the plan with you as often as you want, and I’ll be here for you and our kid. I’m not going anywhere, Rory. You can try your best to chase me away, but it’s not happening.”
He looked fierce, but she still doubted. It made no sense that he’d want to stick around. He was gorgeous and fit. He could have anyone he wanted. Sure, he was honorable and wanted to take care of his kid, but that didn’t mean he had to choose her. He could choose anyone and still be a dad for their child.
“But why? Why would you want to stay? I’m a mess, Chance. I’m not easy to deal with, and it’ll probably get worse when I have this baby. You can’t really want me. And you don’t have to. I won’t keep you from seeing your child. Just be honest with me. Don’t make promises you might regret later.”
He gripped her chin in his fingers. Gently but firmly. His blue eyes speared into hers, and her heart skipped a beat.
“You really don’t get it, do you? I want to be with you. You make me laugh and you frustrate the hell out of me. I’m in love with you, Aurora Harper. I know you don’t feel the same way about me and that’s okay. I’m gonna get you there, one way or the other. And I’m gonna be right here in your life, keeping you safe and making you as happy as I can. You aren’t running me off because you can’t. You understand me? You fucking can’t.”