SWNOVELS Chance: Chapter 19
“You okay, Chancey Pants?”
He’d been quiet all evening. Not just quiet, but pensive. Rory’d noticed it after they sat down to steaks, roasted potatoes, mac and cheese, cucumbers and tomatoes, and a cake that Emma Grace had picked up from the Kiss My Grits Café. Wendy Cochran’s strawberry cake was just the thing for a cookout and the guys had devoured it.
Theo had come late, because he’d refused to leave the Dawg while George’s guys were suctioning water and dragging out fans and dehumidifiers, which meant he didn’t hang around the grill or the stove or tell anyone how to do anything. He’d complimented the steaks, told Rory she’d gotten Granny’s mac and cheese just right, and remarked that nobody made cake like Wendy. But then she should have expected no less because Theo had been raised by Granny, same as she had, and Granny hadn’t tolerated bad manners.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
Rory nodded. “Fine. It was a nice evening.”
“It was.”
Everyone was gone now and they were alone on the porch. The tables and chairs had all been put away, the dishes done, and everything put back where it belonged. The plants were under the tree waiting for tomorrow, and Chance and his buddies had installed battery-powered motion lights on the barn, the big oak, a tall post they’d erected in the garden earlier, and the front and back of the house.
There were already lights on the house, but she had to flip a switch for them so it was nice to have something that would come on whenever anyone or anything crossed in front of the sensor.
She was the one who’d wanted to sit on the porch and Chance had indulged her. She’d lit a candle and brought a blanket because it got cool at night, and she’d made herself a tall glass of iced tea with Stevia to sweeten it because she’d already had enough sugar for the day. Stevia wasn’t quite the same, but it worked.
She’d taken the porch swing and Chance had unfolded a lawn chair. He’d been nursing a beer for a while now. He also hadn’t said much.
“I like your friends. They’re really sweet to pitch in and help out the way they did.”
“They’re good guys. I’ve known them a long time.”
She picked at a thread on the blanket she’d put over her lap as she slowly swung back and forth. “You were in the military together.”
“Yeah. We served in the same unit for a long time, had each other’s asses when we deployed overseas.”
“And all of you left the military to buy a range in Alabama?”
“Not quite, but yeah. We decided it was time to pursue that crazy dream we always had to run a business together somewhere. This part of Alabama made sense because it’s growing, and there’s a shit ton of military and government around here. If we were going to offer security training as part of our business, can’t find a better place than this one.”
The swing creaked rhythmically in the darkness, a comforting sound. “No, not really. Gramps worked with the German scientists on Redstone Arsenal in the fifties, when he was still a young man and thought he didn’t want to farm. I say worked with, but I really mean he worked on the Arsenal and sometimes at the test stand where they tested the rockets that eventually went to space.”
“That’s pretty cool, really.”
“I always thought so. He met Granny, who was from Hazel Green—that’s north of Huntsville—and when they got married, he brought her home to Sutton’s Creek and they moved in with his parents here at the farm. Which I’m sure thrilled Granny to no end, but I never heard her say a bad word about living with her in-laws. They had three kids, one of which was my dad.”
Good grief she was talking a lot tonight. But it was kind of comforting to sit in the dark and tell someone about her family. They were on her mind a lot lately, even before she’d found out she was pregnant.
“Your parents died when you were young, right?”
“Yep. Hit head on by a drunk driver coming back from a concert in Nashville. Mama always wanted to see Loretta Lynn at the Ryman, so that’s where they’d gone. I was eight and Theo was ten. We were staying at the farm that night, so this is where I was when the news came.”
Tears pricked her eyes. It was so long ago, but sometimes the pain was as fresh as yesterday.
“I’m really sorry, Rory. That’s hard.”
“It was, but we dealt with it.”
“Did you get the Dawg from your grandparents, too?”
“My parents owned the Dawg. The building had been in my mother’s family for three generations then. Her siblings didn’t want it, so she and my dad bought them out and opened the tavern. It was a strain on my grandparents to keep it, I think, but they did it for us.” She blew out a sigh. “I guess that’s why it’s all so important to me. The Dawg was my parents’ dream, and the farm is where my memories are. It’s all important, and I don’t want to lose any of it. I know it’d be so easy to let this place go—or even most of it while keeping the house and barn, but I don’t want to. I walk into the woods, and I know my dad played there as a kid. His initials are in a tree out there. And there’s the remnants of a treehouse he and his brothers built. They’re gone too. One was an alcoholic who drank himself to death, and the other drowned a few years ago. There are cousins, but they live in Florida. I’ve seen them once in my life, right after my parents died and they came to the funeral.”
“I take it they didn’t inherit a piece of the property?”
“Nope.” She popped the P. “My uncle and his wife divorced when the kids were teenagers, and they weren’t close to him after that. It’s just me and Theo.”
“Who’s Mark?”
Rory stiffened at the mention of her asshole ex. The betrayal still hurt, even after all this time. Even if a part of her was glad she hadn’t married him.
“Mark is nobody anymore. But he was my fiancé. Three weeks before the wedding, I caught him screwing one of my bridesmaids.”
It was still humiliating.
“Ouch.”
“Yep, ouch. He married her and they moved to Decatur. He’s a lawyer there, they bought a house in the historic district, and Tammy loves to post pictures of her perfect house and perfect kids. She’s the president of the Junior League, and she’s one of the hosts for the upcoming Diner en Blanc—that’s a fancy picnic at a secret location where absolutely everything you bring and wear must be white. She posts about the dinner endlessly. She has what it takes to be a lawyer’s wife, apparently, because I did not. Which Mark told me to my face before he called me too country. He could have saved us both a lot of trouble if he’d been clear about that from the beginning.”
“Rory. Babe.”
His voice was gentle, and she almost hated it. Because it meant he felt sorry for her, and she hated anyone feeling sorry for her. Her whole life, people had felt sorry for her. Her parents died, she got diabetes, and her man ran off with one of her friends. She was sure there were plenty of other things they felt sorry for her over, but she didn’t want to enumerate them.
Rory swiped a thumb beneath her eyes. Stupid tears. She’d never told anyone, not even Emma Grace, what Mark had said to her. It was too embarrassing. And he was right. She wasn’t cut out to be a society wife. She didn’t care about hobnobbing with community leaders, didn’t care about making an impression, and she certainly wasn’t participating in a top secret outdoor picnic every year.
“I’m okay. I should block both of them, but I didn’t want them to think I cared. I don’t care, and I don’t look for her posts on purpose. But they show up often enough I know what’s happening in their lives. Baby number three is on the way, and they’ve only been married for four years. They flew to Hawaii and got married there. It was supposed to be my honeymoon, but she went instead.”
The porch creaked and then Chance settled beside her, scooting her over to make room. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she turned to burrow her face into his chest. She really shouldn’t, but he was warm and solid and it felt right to be close to him.
He ran his fingers along her arm, over and over, soothing her. “I’m sorry people did that to you. But I hope you know they’re the ones who’ve got something wrong with them, not you. I know it had to hurt, probably still hurts, but that man didn’t deserve you. Neither did she. Nobody needs a friend like that, and you damn sure didn’t need a husband who doesn’t worship the ground you walk on. He should have thanked his lucky stars every single day that you chose him out of all the men you could have picked.”
Rory couldn’t help but giggle. She lifted her head and gazed up at him. His eyes were dead serious, which she appreciated. “Thank you, but I didn’t exactly have them lined up down the street.”
He brushed a lock of hair from her cheek, tucked it behind her ear. “Only because you scared them shitless with that glare of yours.”
“You’re laying it on a little thick,” she said, yet her heart hammered. “But I appreciate it.”
“Not laying it on thick, babe. You’re a beautiful, fiery, kickass sprite of a woman and I can’t imagine there weren’t men tripping over themselves to be in your life.”
He made her feel lighter than air. He scared her, too. She couldn’t like him too much. She’d already determined she had to let him in for the baby’s sake, and that meant not snapping his head off every time she had a feeling she couldn’t cope with, but the urge to push him away with a smart assed remark was strong.
“I’ve decided to like you, Chancey Pants, but don’t push your luck trying to butter me up. You’re still on thin ice here.”
His grin was unexpected. “Like I said, fiery.”
She settled against him again. The swing creaked gently. “What about you? Any shitty exes in the past?”
“No.” He sighed. “I traveled a lot in the military. Didn’t ever really have time to get involved with anyone for more than a few months here or there.”
“Wow. No lost loves? Unrequited loves?”
“No lost loves. One unrequited, but that happens sometimes.”
She pushed away again. “Really? Tell me about her? It is a her, right?”
He snorted. “I forgot to mention you were also funny, didn’t I? Yes, it’s a her. I’m not interested in any dicks but my own.”
“It’s a nice dick,” she said just to tease him.
“Nice? How about incredible and amazing?”
She laughed. “Well, my experience with it was brief, but it did manage to be those things.”
“Not to make this awkward, but I know for a fact it wouldn’t mind doing those things again.”
Her pussy throbbed. “You’re changing the subject here. I’m interested in the unrequited love.”
“If I tell you about it, will you soothe my pain?”
“If it involves getting naked with you, no. If you want me to pat you on the back and say ‘there, there, big fella’, I can do that.”
“I’m rather partial to that first option.”
“Not tonight. Maybe not ever. Best I can do.”
He skimmed those fingers over her arm again and she had to suppress a shiver. “I’ll take that deal.”
“Now tell me about her.”
“Not much to tell. I fell hard for her. Didn’t expect to. She doesn’t feel the same.”
“Doesn’t? That sounds recent. Is it someone in Sutton’s Creek?”
“No, no one in Sutton’s Creek.”
“Did it happen recently?”
“No. I shoulda said she didn’t feel the same.”
She searched his gaze. She didn’t know what she expected to find, but he didn’t crack. Rory sighed. “Sorry, Chance. I know it had to hurt. I’m sure you’ll get over her eventually.”
“Already over it.” She wasn’t sure she believed him. “How long did it take you?”
It was a valid question and yet she didn’t really have a valid answer. Because while she was over Mark, she wasn’t over what he’d done. Would never be over it. On the outside, she projected bravado and confidence, but deep down, she didn’t believe it. Didn’t believe she was worthy of devotion or loyalty.
“A while,” was all she said. “You know, I think I’m ready to head in. It’s been a long day and I’m beat.”
Because this conversation was getting too deep, and it made her uncomfortable to expose so much of herself. Especially when she realized he hadn’t exposed anything personal about himself. One unrequited love he claimed to be over but didn’t tell her about wasn’t all that personal, really.
He held out a hand and helped her stand, then got to his feet beside her. He was at the door first, opening it for her. She skimmed past him, her heart quickening at the sweetness of the gesture.
She turned to face him, wanting to know more about the mystery woman but knowing he wasn’t going to tell her. And what would he think if she kept asking? That she was jealous? She absolutely couldn’t give him that impression.
“You don’t have to keep sleeping on the couch, Chance. Take one of the rooms upstairs. You’ve got this place wired six ways to Sunday. If anyone breaks in or trips a motion light, you’ll take care of it. You should at least sleep in a bed when you aren’t protecting us from evil.”
“Gonna stay on the couch for now, babe. But thank you.”
“Aren’t you worried you’ll get a kink in your back?”
“Nope. I’ve slept in worse places, believe me. The couch is big and the cushions aren’t too squishy. It’s fine.”
She had a crazy urge to ask him to sleep beside her. Just sleep. Her bed was more comfortable, and she had a feeling she’d sleep even better with him there. Her fears, the ones she couldn’t seem to shake since learning she was pregnant, weren’t as prominent when he was near. Simply sitting next to him on the swing had infused her with calm.
But asking him such a thing was impossible. She’d just learned he’d been in love with someone, maybe still was even though he’d said he was over it. The idea that he loved another woman knotted her belly, hollowed her heart.
Which was ridiculous. What she’d had with Chance had been about sex, nothing more. A baby wasn’t going to change that.
“If you’re sure,” she said, twisting her hands in front of her, feeling awkward and unsure.
“I’m sure. Goodnight, Rory.”
“Night, Chance.”
It wasn’t until she was in bed with the lights out, staring up at the ceiling, that she gave in to frustrated tears. She didn’t even know why she was crying.