Champions of Serenity: Destiny Fulfilled

Chapter Chapter Nineteen



Chapter 19

After Airidon’s group left for their mission in Kreben, Tris relaxed against Drianne’s trunk. Jehro was seated across from Tris with Shrina next to him; they rested against a fallen log they had carried to the glade for this purpose. Now came the hard part of their participation; waiting for the catalyst. The dangerous part for them came when they would be cleaning the power before releasing it back into Sandeenai. But until they had the catalyst Dreybrenic tied his stolen power to, they could do little.

“Let’s practice merging. It won’t be easy, especially for you, Shrelannasha. And when Airidon’s group brings the catalyst back, we won’t have time to practice. Now, open yourself, and your mind, to the rest of us.”

Tris and Drianne merged with the ease of long association and practice. Jehro joined with Tris and Drianne with very little difficulty because of his empathy and telepathy. Shrina tried but couldn’t understand how to open herself up and reach for the others at the same time.

“What is going wrong?” Shrina asked when after an hour of trying, she was still unable to link. Sweat poured down her face and neck dripping across her chest and back.

“Shrelannasha, how do you speak with Karen?” Tris asked, trying not to lose her patience with the woman.

“I don’t know, I just sort of reach for her and she’s there.”

“Okay, Shrelannasha, do you see your mirrored stars? Do you see her face? Do you hear her voice? Think about it.” Tris continued, making the Siblen think.

Shrina thought about it. “No, I don’t see her or hear her at first and I don’t see our stars. It’s more like….reaching for a part of myself that I’m not used to thinking about….like my left pinky toe. Once I think about it, I can’t stop, but until I think about it, I don’t know it’s there. It’s like that when I contact Karen.”

Nodding, Tris thought a moment about how to phrase what she needed Shrina to think about. “All right, Shrelannasha, I want you to think about Jehrones’s ears. While you are thinking about his ears, talk to them in your mind and when you get an answer, latch on to it and that will help you join into the link.”

Shrina thought about it and thought it was a funny thing to do, but did it anyway. She pictured Jehro’s ears, seeing the curve of them against his head and of how his hair curled around them. Then in her mind, she said they were kind of cute.

Why thank you, Shrina, I knew you cared.” Jehro said in her mind and Shrina pulled back in on herself. “No, don’t pull away, open up further. That’s right, Shrina, just relax and I’ll guide you in.”

When Jehro’s voice first came into her mind, Shrina wanted to hide. Then she noticed that she could see things about him and his thoughts that she never could have unless he let her. She stopped fighting the contact and did as he suggested and relaxed, allowing her thoughts to open up and be known.

Then Jehro guided Shrina into the contact with Drianne and Tris and the Siblen sucked air through her teeth in surprise. Seeing Tris as a child, which is how Drianne always saw her, shocked Shrina. Then seeing how concerned Tris was for everyone, including her, Shrina relaxed even further and lost herself in the joining of four minds.

The link was broken by the return of the others and the loud scream from Tyra. “He’s dead! He’s dead, Tris! How could this have happened?!”

Tris broke the contact and looked at the others. Her heart started beating again when she saw the face of Airidon, even though it was twisted with pain and guilt. She frowned and looked at the others before looking at the body on the ground between them. Fini stood with his arm around Tyra, the catalyst in his other hand. He thrust the wet stone to Tris and held Tyra closer. Korol was kneeling next to the body, tears streaking his own face, a trembling hand touching it lightly in disbelief. Noshtra lifted her muzzle and howled her sorrow.

Looking down at the body, she saw the blood soaked leathers and the charred remains of something around his neck. Getting to her knees, she touched the blood and brought it to her nose and smelled it, then tasted it. “This is Wer.” She said softly and heard sobbing coming from behind her, knowing it was Jehro and Shrina.

“I don’t know what happened, but until we have completed what we started, we can’t figure it out. We will be in more danger now if we don’t accomplish our task than if we never started. We will mourn for our fallen brother when we are done. Take him, Airidon, and prepare him for burning. When we are finished, we will join you and see Meckin on his final journey.” Tris’s voice was thick with tears and her hand strayed to the Wer’s hair and she caressed it back from the seared and mangled face. “May Serenity care for you, my brother.” Her voice held just a hint of emptiness, and despair.

Tris took her seat again at Drianne’s trunk and smothered her anguish by surrounding the catalyst stone with her mourning and magical power. As she looked through the purple haze, she couldn’t help but remember the first time she met Meckin and for a moment, wished for a return to simpler times.

She lifted her eyebrow as she waited for Jehro and Shrina to join her. Nodding in understanding of their grief, she reached for the link and held fast when Jehro brought both himself and Shrina into it. For just a moment, the four shared the heartache of Meckin’s loss, and then the attacks started.

Dreybrenic felt the disturbance of his catalyst stone from Meckadon. Entrusting his infant son to one of his generals, he spelled himself to Kreben. Once there, he couldn’t believe the amount of damage caused by the sink hole. The dwarves had warned him what building in stone on this ground would do, but he didn’t believe it. Now he had no choice.

Searching through the rubble for survivors, his magic-users and mercenaries didn’t pay any attention to what he was doing. He lowered himself down the well shaft and then screamed his denial when he found the bottom half and his anchor missing. The only problem was, he couldn’t tell if it was because of the sink hole or if someone had stolen it, and without the stone’s ability to record all the magical signatures near it, he never would be able to tell if it was natural or not.

Leaving Kreben without answers stung more than losing his power cache. Then he felt the tug that snapped his link to it. Now he knew it was stolen, just not by who or where they were. Trying to find who was tampering with his catalysts, he felt his traces being burned away faster than he could set them up. Then the power was completely drained and the stone was shattered. Dreybrenic was livid as he returned to Hades to find answers to his questions.

In Drianne’s glade, Tris cut the ties Dreybrenic had to the stone when she surrounded it with her power. When she transferred the power from the stone into her body, the stone shattered. She felt like she was suffocating under the weight of the stolen power and the evil taint.

Reaching for Jehro, Tris started to filter some of the power to him. As she passed on the steady stream of magic, she took as much evil from it as she could. Tris prayed to Serenity to have the strength to handle all the power she had to hold and that all the evil she was carrying around inside her now wouldn’t taint her forever. She felt the calming presence of Serenity in her mind and knew that no matter what, the goddess was indeed there for her champions. When she thought she could hold no more power, Jehro asked for a little more for him to cleanse.

The stream of magic flowing to him from Tris was filthy with evil, but he knew it wasn’t as black as what Tris was holding within herself. Using the love he had for music and Dragons and the wilds of Sandeenai, he passed the magic through his own personal filter and took what darkness he could hold unto himself. When he let the flow of power move from him to Shrina, he was proud of the fact that it wasn’t as heavy as it had been when he got it. For a moment he felt Tris shut off the power stream and he reminded her he was ready for more. Then he too felt the power of Serenity with him and felt his heart lighten, knowing he was still a Champion of Serenity and she was watching out for him.

It felt like a mud puddle, Shrina thought as she got the first of the power. But using the link, she knew that when Tris first got it, it was black as midnight. When Tris passed it to Jehro, it had been dark as twilight shadows. Now that she had it, it was dark as a mud but thin like wine. She watched a moment to see how Tris and Jehro were cleaning it and decided she could do that as well.

Selecting a time in her childhood, when she was learning to ride horses at her father’s patient side, she almost laughed at the images it invoked. Pushing the magic through those memories, Shrina was surprised to see it come out almost clean, yet the memories were as crisp and perfect as before. Before she could lose track of what she was doing, she passed the murky power on to Drianne for the final cleansing.

Drianne watched as the other three took the solid black mass of power and filtered it through themselves and passed on significantly cleaner power onto the next in line. When she received it, it was almost pure, clean, magic. She knew she had chosen well and took what Shrina was offering, filtering it through her trunk and passing the crystal clear magic back into Sandeenai.

As the lifeblood of Sandeenai was put back, the entire world seemed to rejoice. A cleansing rain started to fall in the badlands, washing down some of the dust and nourishing the plants that attempted to grow there. A cooling breeze blew down from the Black Ice Mountains and gave Saldowns its first relief of the year from the incessant heat and sun. In Meckadon, the Spring Festival saw new flowers more beautiful and inspiring than ever before seen. And in the Samtin Forest, the Nymphs created a new dance.

With a steady flow of power going through the four of them into Sandeenai, it took them almost two days to completely clean all the power stored in the cache and release it once again. When the last of the magic flowed from Tris into Jehro, she kept the link strong to give her strength to the others. Forgotten for the time was the wretched memory of what duty was awaiting them when they completed their task.

Jehro held onto the link when he was finished because he wasn’t strong enough to break it at the moment. He, like Tris, wondered for a moment what would happen to all the evil he had taken into himself and what it would make of him. Watching, Jehro noted Shrina’s exhaustion as she passed on the last of power she held. Before she could drop out, Tris was supporting Shrina as she was supporting Jehro. Then Drianne finally put the last of the magic back into Sandeenai and stretched her branches high to try to catch some of the cooling breezes and the bright sun light.

Slowly, Tris bolstered Shrina and then let her drop from the link, taking the evil from Shrina as she did. It happened so fast, Jehro didn’t notice until he felt the heaviness on his own soul evaporate just seconds before he was released from the link. Drianne opened her eyes and started to scold Tris when she noticed Tris swaying a moment against her trunk and then pass out.

“That was a damn-fool thing for her to do; brave and considerate, but foolhardy. What possessed her to do such a thing?” Drianne said, and then quickly sent one of Noshtra’s pups to go and get Airidon and the others.

When Airidon and the others arrived, they found Tris, Jehro, and Shrina passed out in the glade. Drianne sounded weary as she spoke to them. “In this bag is a tea blend they will need when they awake. It will revive them from the strain they have been under.” She handed a large green bag to Tyra. Then she selected a small black bag from the cache of bags hidden in her root system and handed it to Airidon. “Tris will need this added to her tea; it will help her not have to hunt to fully recover from what she did today. Now, I must sleep, have peace, we were successful.”

“I’m glad some of us were.” Airidon said as he picked up Tris to carry her back to the cave. Fini had scooped up Jehro and Korol had Shrina in hand. Tyra went ahead to prepare the beds for the unconscious team.

Outside of the cave, a pyre waited containing the remains of the eighth member of their Circle. Airidon gently set Tris down on the pallet Tyra had made for her. Then he went back out to the pyre and set a few more bundles of sticks around the base.

Fini started making the healing tea for the others as Tyra and Korol covered the others carefully. None of them spoke as they went about their chores. It seems as if even the fire burned in silence and none of the forest animals made noise as they came to pay their respects to the fallen hero.

Tyra looked over at Fini a moment and shook her head, then she turned back to watch Airidon. He had insisted on carrying Meckin back to the forest and then to the cave. He had built the pyre almost single-handedly and while Tris and the others completed their part of the task, he kept constant vigil over Meckin’s body. Tyra was worried about him, he hadn’t eaten or slept and his body was beginning to show signs of the strain.

Korol was also watching Airidon. He felt angry that Airidon wouldn’t allow anyone else attend to Meckin’s pyre. It wasn’t like Airidon was all that close to Meckin, in fact it was well known he was just a little jealous of Meckin’s previous relationship with Tris. So what gave him the right to be the only one crushed by the loss of the Wer? Korol was Meckin’s best friend on Sandeenai and within the Circle.

Jehro stirred and Tyra was instantly by his side, a cup of tea ready to press to his lips. At first, he wouldn’t take the tea, and then when the first drops landed in his stomach and he felt the relief, he greedily drank all that Tyra would allow him. He didn’t fully awake and went back to sleep quickly.

Tyra waited to see if Shrina or Tris would be next and almost groaned when it was Shrina. Shrina wouldn’t take the tea, no matter what. She fought it and in the end, Fini had to hold her down and pinch her nose for Tyra to pour the tea down her throat. For the entire struggle, it was silent and Tyra wondered at that. Shrina was never silent.

The last to stir was Tris. She didn’t open her eyes, she didn’t even move that much, it was more of a twitch in her hand and a shallower breathing. When Tyra offered her the tea, Tris took it and swallowed without either denying or accepting it. When her breathing deepened again, Tyra wondered just what it was Tris had done that made Drianne angry with her.

As night crept through the forest, Jehro woke and sat up. He looked around and saw Tyra and Fini sitting next to each other on one side of the fire. Korol was off on his own, his back to both the fire and the cave, staring out into the darkness. Airidon wasn’t to be seen. Tris and Shrina were still asleep in bedding moved from the sleeping caves to around the central fire.

“What….”

Tyra looked up quickly at the first sound and rushed to Jehro’s side, looking out into the night furtively. She offered him some more tea without saying a word and Jehro frowned. He looked at Tris and Shrina and neither one seemed to be in any trouble. When he tried to open himself to read the mood, he was hit by a wave of nausea and almost blacked out again.

“What is wrong, Tyra?” He asked softly, his voice sounding loud in his own ears.

She looked him over and frowned. “You don’t remember what happened before you cleansed the catalyst?” She sat back on her heels and watched him.

Jehro thought about the question and then thought back to the days before the attack on Kreben. Nothing had gone wrong then, so it must have been while they were on the attack and he was waiting with Tris for them to arrive with the stone. Then he remembered and felt weight of the world come crashing down on his shoulders.

Tyra knew when he remembered about Meckin when Jehro’s face went completely white and tears started to fill his eyes. “Airidon won’t leave his side, blames himself for it. Korol is angry because he was Meckin’s friend and Airidon won’t let him near the pyre. Fini and I….well….we are just trying to keep a low profile for a little while.”

Jehro nodded his understanding and accepted the bread and stew Fini offered him. “Thank you, Fini, it looks wonderful.” Jehro took a bite and savored it, offering the first smile to the couple since their return to the forest. “It is wonderful, thank you.” Eating and thinking, Jehro tried to figure out why Airidon would blame himself for Meckin’s death.

“Why is it so dark and quiet in here?” Shrina demanded, sitting up in her bedding. “Why am I out here in the main cave instead of in my sleeping cave? And what is that vile taste in my mouth?”

Korol turned around and glared at Shrina. He stood up, throwing a poisoned look at her and then strode off into the night. If Airidon heard, he didn’t acknowledge it in any way as he kept his silent vigil. Tyra sighed and offered another cup of tea to Shrina.

“Eeewww…..that is horrible. What is it?” Shrina demanded after taking a single sip and refusing to drink more. “Can I have some of that stew instead?”

“It will help that headache you have, Shrina.” Jehro said, setting his plate aside and helping her to finish the entire cup. “Now you can eat without fear of throwing it up.”

“What’s wrong with Korol? Why did he glare at me like that?” Shrina asked, accepting the stew and shoveling it into her mouth as quickly as she could. “This is great, Fini, thanks.”

“He’s grieving, Shrina. Don’t you remember, Meckin died while on the raid?” Jehro said softly. Waiting to catch the plate he knew Shrina would drop when she fully remembered. He caught the plate and set it down near her so she could have it again when her stomach demanded more food.

“But how could Meckin die? He’s a Champion of Serenity, and we are immortal.” Shrina said, a quiver in her voice at the thought of not having Meckin around anymore. He may have been quiet and private, but he was a great one for jokes and he knew the most wonderful stories if you could get him to talk about them.

“We don’t know, Shrina.” Tyra replied simply and moved to finish making the tea for Tris, making sure to add the red powder from the black pouch Drianne had sent with them.

Just as Tyra finished making the tea, Tris sat up. She looked around, narrowing her eyes in the darkness. Hanging her head a moment, she released a long slow breath, and then she reached for the tea and drank it down without making a face. Nodding to Tyra and the others, she stood and walked out to Airidon’s side.

“It’s my fault, Tris. I collapsed the building too soon and trapped him there.” Airidon’s voice was filled with self-loathing and heavy with guilt and tears.

Tris rested her hand on his shoulder. “No, Airidon, it wasn’t your fault. You waited for your cue to trigger the sink hole. We don’t know why Meckin didn’t get out, but it wasn’t because of you. I’m thinking Chaos had something to do with it. As far as I know, only a god can destroy an immortal.” Her voice was crisp and unyielding. “We will speak with Serenity about this after we send Meckin on his final journey. Come to the fire, eat and rest. When the moon sets, we will light the pyre.”

“I want to stay here until then.” Airidon said stubbornly.

Tris shook her head. “Airidon, if we have any prayer of winning now that we no longer have Meckin with us, we will need each of us to be as strong as possible. And killing yourself because you feel responsible for something that you had nothing to do with isn’t keeping yourself strong. Finbrahner has made a wonderful stew and fresh bread. You must come and eat, keep up your strength, or all will be lost.”

Airidon looked at Tris, anger in his eyes and met the deep loss in her own eyes and nodded his surrender to her demands. He walked back into the cave and sat down next to Fini. Taking the offered plate of stew, he tried to ignore the shaking in his hands. With the first bite, he realized just how foolish he had been in denying the needs of his body for so long.

“Thank you, Fini, for being so patient with me. You should have seen what I did to myself when my family had been slaughtered.”

“I can imagine, Airidon. Welcome back to us.” Fini said and gave his friend a smile. Airidon returned it and then a tear fell from his eye and he looked down at his plate. Taking a deep breath, he controlled himself and finished eating.

Tris came in a few minutes later and sat down, accepting some of the fresh bread and some roasted vegetables. “I don’t know what you added to that tea, Tyrandeannah, but thank you. It has curbed my need to hunt.”

“Drianne said it would when she gave it to me.” Tyra said and chuckled when Tris just grunted. “What did you do that made her so angry with you?”

Tris just shrugged and finished eating the first food she had eaten in three days. “She striped the evil residue from all of us before releasing the link.” Jehro said, glaring at Tris. “What did you think you were doing, Tris? What did you do with all that evil?”

Tris shrugged again. “Well, Jehro, I have an outlet for evil that you don’t. I just sloughed it off into the Demon plane and let them have it all. They know what to do with it.” Then she pulled out an apple and sat back, looking at the rest of her family. Korol walked in just then, saw them all there and joined them at the fire.

“We need to talk about what happened and get it out in the open. If we don’t, it will fester like a wound and slowly poison all of us. We won’t be any good to Serenity or Sandeenai crippled.” Tris said finally when no one wanted to break the silence.

“How can you be so calloused, Tris?” Korol asked, lifting his tear streaked face from the fire to glare at her.

Tris looked over at Korol and measured his grief before answering. “I’m not calloused, Korolwyn. My first desire at this moment is to rip Handsome into small pieces and savor his flesh slowly, keeping him alive for as long as possible while I devour him. I want to make him suffer like I am suffering and I want to make him pay for what he’s done to someone I love. But I’m not foolish enough to attempt it at the moment when I’m weak and he’s strong. That would be suicide.”

“Do we have to talk about eating people alive just this moment? I’m trying to keep dinner down.” Shrina complained. “Besides, we can go after Handsome in a few days when we are all recovered. Can’t we?”

“No, Shrina, we can’t.” Jehro said, concern filling his voice. Getting up, Jehro went to his sleeping cave and came back with a familiar scroll. “And, I’m not entirely sure we are immortal yet.”

“What do you mean, Jehro? Serenity has already given us her gifts.” Tyra asked, sitting up a little straighter.

“I mean, Tyra, is that it doesn’t say we will be immortal when we face Handsome in the prophecy. All it says is that we will become immortal, but those lines don’t happen until after we have defeated Handsome. What has me more concerned is that Meckin was the Knowledge of the Circle and we are without that now. And worse than that, it does say specifically, that without all eight, we won’t all survive.”

“What do you mean?” Shrina said, looking over his shoulder. Then she paled and pointed to the words. “He’s right, it reads: Each alone could take The One down, but alone they won’t survive. Yet as a Circle using each new gift, the Eight shall walk away. Tris, what are we going to do?”

They all looked at Tris. She watched the fire a few moments and then slowly answered them. “First, we honor Meckin. Then, we do the best we can to bring Handsome down. Even if it means I won’t live to see Sandeenai free from his hold, I won’t stop now in trying to defeat him. There isn’t one of you I wouldn’t lay my life down for, so with or without you, I’m going to continue to keep my pledge to Serenity.”

The others looked at Tris and then at each other. Jehro rolled up the prophecy and put it away safely. “I’m with you, Tris.” He said softly. The others quickly agreed and light filled the cave.

“I am glad to hear that, my children.” The voice was tender and filled with both pride and sorrow. Serenity stepped into the cave and stood behind Tris. “I don’t know what happened to Meckin, but I promise you, I’m going to find out. Please, may I be allowed to join with you this evening?”

Shrina jumped up and knelt quickly to the goddess. “Please be welcome, Serenity. Take my place, it’s the softest.”

The goddess chuckled and moved to take Shrina’s place. “I couldn’t come to you sooner, my children. I had to first know if you still believed in me and wanted to be my Champions. Part of being my Champion requires free will and wanting to take on the challenges set forth by taking up the mantle. Thank you, all, for choosing to stay with me, as I have chosen to stay with you.”

“What hope do we have now, Serenity?” Korol asked, needing a little more reassurance.

Serenity looked at Korol and smiled at him. “You have all the hope of a world, Korolwyn. All of Sandeenai hopes that you will succeed at over throwing Handsome as you call him. I still haven’t given up hope on you or on the fact that you will triumph over him. As I said before, I am still looking into what happened to Meckin and I’m not going to stop until I am satisfied.” Korol nodded and lost some of the sullenness in his face and body.

Tris stood then. “The moon has set. Korolwyn, please bring a lighted torch.” They all looked at each other and then stood and followed Tris out to the clearing in front of the cave and the pyre. Tris stopped next to the pyre and looked over the body lying on it. She could see where Airidon had tried to set it to rights, but it was still twisted and mangled in ways that couldn’t be fixed. “Farewell, my friend, my brother, my fellow Champion. You will never be forgotten.”

Korol looked over at Tris when she finished speaking, wondering if there would be more. When nothing more came forth, he thrust the torch into the prepared kindling. As the fire caught and billowed into the air around the body, they could smell the acrid scent of burning flesh and rotting blood. There was also a hint of something else that none of them could really put a name to, until Tris started to laugh and cry at the same time. When they looked to her in question, she shrugged. “Wolf’s bane,” was all she said and smiles came to their faces.

Serenity said something in a language they didn’t know and a bright flash filled the night, then Serenity was gone and the fire burned normally. When all that was left was ash, the seven remaining members of the Circle went back to the cave for some well-deserved sleep.

“Chaos, would you mind telling me what you have done to Meckin?” Serenity asked without preamble as she stepped into his palace.

Chaos sat up, rubbed his eyes, trying to focus after being awoken from a dead sleep. “What I have done to whom?”

“To Meckin, Chaos. What did you do to Meckin?” Serenity stood over her brother, hands on her hips, her face angry.

“I didn’t do anything to Meckin, Serenity. I was the one who pulled him from the rubble and sent him to his waiting friends. Was there anything else?” Chaos said, pulling his robe of cherry and plum on with dignity.

Serenity watched him a moment and then looked around. “Yes, I want to search your halls so I can be sure you don’t have him stashed here.”

“Why would I stash him here? He’s YOUR Champion, not mine. What is this all about?” Chaos said, his voice rising in his anger.

“I can’t find Meckin, Chaos. If his body is dead, his soul should be in my halls, he was pledged to me. He isn’t there. I went to Chah, he said Meckin wasn’t dead; he hadn’t been through his halls to be guided on to his final reward. So I came here. You are the only one who would profit from taking him away from Sandeenai at this time. Where is he?” Serenity explained and then demanded.

“You can search my entire halls, if it will make you feel any better, but he isn’t here. It may interest you to know that I care as much for your Champions as you do. There is one other place you can look, you know.” Chaos said, watching his sister peer into the shadows of his halls.

“And who would that be?” Serenity asked, once again looking her brother over.

Chaos looked at her and decided he wanted to know as well. So rather than tell her, he just called out. “Sheagnek!”

The goddess of Wer and Mer appeared before Serenity and Chaos wearing a potter’s cap, hands caked in wet, red, clay. “What do you want now?” She sounded irritated.

“What happened to Serenity’s prophecy?” He demanded.

Sheagnek looked at them both in confusion. “What do you mean? I finished that months ago and gave it to everyone.”

“What he means, Sheagnek, is that Meckin was killed when he was supposed to be immortal. What could happen to change the prophecy in such a way?” Serenity asked, a little more gently.

Sheagnek looked at the two of them and then shook her head. “That prophecy hasn’t changed at all, Serenity. If you lost your hero, then it is your problem to find him, not mine. I have work to do.” Then Sheagnek left them both standing there confused.

“So does that mean he’s dead or simply lost? And if he’s lost, then who was that I pulled from the wreckage?” Chaos asked.

“I can’t reach him, Chaos. The brown in the star has gone dark. He isn’t just missing, he’s gone. His soul maybe lost, and that is what I have to find.” Serenity said and then left Chaos alone.

Chaos stood looking at the spot both of his sisters were standing in just moments before. “There is something fishy going on here and I’m not part of it. That seriously disturbs me.”


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