Chapter 118
Chapter 118
I sit on my bed, staring at nothing in particular, as tears continue to fall down my cheeks when I groan knowing I need to hang my dress. As I hang my dress on the hanger, lost in my thoughts, I suddenly hear a knock on my door
Startled, I turn around to see my father standing there with a small smile on his face
"Hey, sweetie," he says as he walks inside and leans against the doorframe. "Are you excited about getting your wolf tonight?"
I nod slowly, trying to muster up some enthusiasm. The truth is, I am excited about finally shifting and discovering my wolf form
But at the same time, I can't help but feel anxious and scared about the whole process
My father notices my lack of excitement and walks over to sit next to me on the bed
"What's wrong?" he asks, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder
"T don't know...I'm just nervous about shifting by myself," I mumble, avoiding eye contact
My mother always said when I was little that she would be there for me when I shifted for the first time. That I wouldn't have to suffer in silence like she did. But now that she's gone, I feel like all I've been doing is suffering in silence. And tonight will be no different
"It's normal to feel nervous," my dad reassures me. "But remember, you are not alone. Your wolf is a part of you and will guide you through this."
I nod slowly, trying to take his words to heart
But deep down, I know it won't be the same without my mother by my side
As the time for my shift draws closer, I can feel my anxiety rising. My father offers to stay with me instead of attending the meeting with Samuel, but I refuse. I don't want him to see me naked and vulnerable during such a moment
Plus, I know his presence would be a constant reminder of the marriage treaty hanging over us
"No, I'll be fine," I assure him, trying to put on a brave face. "I'm going down by the river, where Mom originally told me she would take me."
My father nods understandingly, but there's a sadness in his eyes that mirrors my own. We both miss my mother dearly and wish she could be here for this important moment in my life
"T'll see you when you get back," he says before giving me a hug
I nod and head out towards the river. As I walk, my mind is filled with conflicting emotions - excitement about finally shifting and fear of what might happen
When I reach the quiet and secluded spot by the riverbank. The cool air brushes against my bare skin and sends shivers down my spine. My heart is pounding as I close my eyes and take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down; I sit on a rock, wondering how long it will take. I've heard horror stories of people being stuck in the shift for hours and others of it being really quick. Yet, as the moon rises, I find myself growing more anxious as I check my phone
What if I don't have a wolf? That thought scares me more than the idea of shifting. Glancing at my phone, I see the time is nearly 8PM. I am
about to turn my phone off when I get a text from Zayn
Zayn: How 1s the birthday girl? I chew my lip, debating if I should reply. Yet when I don't, my phone suddenly rings in my hand, and I sigh before answering it
"If you are ringing to scold me, don't," I tell Zayn
"That's not why I am ringing; I saw you saw my message, but didn't reply. I take it you haven't shifted yet?
I hesitate for a moment before answering Zayn's question truthfully. I know he would be able to tell if I lied anyway
"No, I haven't shifted yet," I admit, my voice trembling slightly
Zayn lets out a sigh on the other end of the line
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as the weight of everything - my mother's absence, the pressure of shifting, and the looming marriage treaty - becomes too much. "I just want my mom," I whisper, feeling foolish. Zayn is quiet for a second
"Your father isn't there?" I sniffle
"No, he has a meeting with Samuel. Besides, I don't want him to see me naked." I admit, wiping my face on the sleeve of my shirt
"Where are you?"
"By the pack border on the river," I sigh, resting my head against the boulder I'm leaning on
"T'll be there soon," he tells me. And I sit up
"You can't come here, Zayn; you can't cross the borders. My father will lose it." I tell him
"Like he can stop me, you shouldn't be shifting alone. I'll see you soon," he tells me before hanging up. I stare at my phone screen
"Shit," I mutter under my breath
Ugh, men. He never listens to me. I sigh, but deep down, I know I am glad he is coming
Finally, after what seems like an eternity but is only minutes later, I feel a presence behind me and open my eyes to see Zayn in human form, panting slightly as he catches his breath. He quickly scans the area before giving me a reassuring smile
"Hey," he says softly, crouching down in front of me and taking my trembling hand in his
larger one. "You're not alone."