Celestials

My body was sinking lower and lower, the speed increasing rapidly. I had no idea what was happening. The sinking feeling was alarming though. If I was going down, was it possible I was meant to be with the evertos and I was moving toward Hell? Had Jude been right all along?

The darkness enveloped and I couldn’t make out anything as I fell. Briefly, I wondered if this is what Alice felt like when she fell down the rabbit hole. Was it just unending darkness and the feeling of falling? Oh god, would it hurt when I hit the ground? Would there be a ground? Where the hell was I falling too?

Just as suddenly as the darkness began, it started to disappear. I could make out a faint glow beneath me. It started getting brighter until I realized it was the soft flickering of hundreds of fires. There was only one place I knew that looked like that. Appollyon was going to be ready to welcome me to Hell. I was so screwed.

I floated to a soft stop on two feet. Quickly, I surveyed my surroundings. I was in one of the caves that shot out from the main cavern. I could see the enormous inferno where Appollyon held court in front of me. People would walk by every now and again, but nothing major seemed to be happening and it seemed as of yet, they were unaware that I was there. Maybe I would stay undetected for this trip.

My breath released in a sigh of relief. Then I smiled. I had breath! Which meant I had a body. I looked down quickly, grabbing my hair at the same time. From my vantage point, I still looked like me. Same hair, some body type, I was even dressed in my favorite pair of jeans and a clean turquoise t-shirt. My feet were bare. Laughing at myself a little, I checked under my jeans and t-shirt. Yup, I was definitely wearing underwear. I don’t know why that comforted me, but it did. I had no idea where the clothes came from or how I was wearing them. But at this point, it didn’t matter. I was happy not be walking around Hell naked.

And that’s when the chanting began. It was eerily similar to the first time I had been here. Demons in black robes walked out toward the fire chanting like monks. After a few minutes of this, the chanting changed and the notes rang sinister. Still, no one looked in my direction, so I hoped I was safe.

Just like last time, the giant fire in the middle roared to life as the discarded notes hit their peak. Appollyon flew through the fire and landed on the flaming stage. He held his hands up to stop the roaring of the hooded demons.

“She is here!” he shouted. The crowd cheered back and raised their fists. How did they know I was here? How long would it take to find me? Did they already know where I was hiding out?

“It will take them some time to find you,” an adolescent voice whispered to me.

I looked to my left and a teenage boy, maybe about fifteen, was peering at me from behind a rock. When I shot a quizzical look at him, he stood up and looked nervously around. He swept his unruly, dark hair off his forehead and watched me with friendly brown eyes. He was short but had the lanky look of a growing teenager. His tan skin was accentuated by the glowing firelight and made me think he was Latino in origin. The boy picked up the edges of his dark robe and walked closer to me.

“We can tell that you’re here. At least, everyone assumes it’s you because you smell unlike anything we’ve ever smelt before,” he told me.

“Smell? You can smell me?” I asked the boy.

He nodded and smiled, shyly. “That’s how we can tell who people are. I’m told the angelus can feel people’s energies. We detect people’s distinct smells. But you don’t smell like an angelus or an evertos.”

“So…” I looked to the boy, unsure what to call him. A roar came from the crowd from something Appollyon said.

“Ramon,” he supplied.

“So Ramon, if I don’t smell like either, how do they know it’s me?” I wanted to know.

He shrugged. “It’s an unusual smell, but similar to Jude’s. That’s why everyone thinks it’s you. Belial said that you were choosing him. And man, did that freak everyone out!”

I smiled at his boyish enthusiasm and then a thought struck me and I sobered up. “Are you here to take me to Appollyon?”

He shook his head shyly again. “I’ve heard rumors about Jude and you. People like Willa and Gregory-“

“Who’s Gregory?”

“I guess you’ve never met him,” Ramon shrugged, checking to make sure no one heard us. “He’s like Jude and that whole crew. The one’s who don’t agree with everything the evertos and angelus say. I know you guys go out and hunt down sanguiem occupant and don’t believe in the jury system to decide where your spirit goes. I agree with that.”

I smiled and shook my head at him. “I never did any of that.”

The crowd shouted again and out of the corner of my eye I could see all the hooded figures dispersing in different directions. Crap. They were coming for me.

He smiled broadly back at me. “But you chose Jude. Your wings look just like his, I bet.”

“I don’t know,” I turned behind me trying to see if I even had wings. “How do I make them come out?”

“Just think about them. Flying or needing them or whatever,” Ramon told me.

I thought about wings like Jude’s. Big and black but soft and feathery. I imagined flying out of the cavern using them. I looked to my back. Nothing. Okay. This time I tried imagining them pushing out of my shoulder blades. They would spread out and engulf my body in their dark, silkiness.

I sighed. Nothing. It would be a lot easier to escape if I had some wings.

“Maybe you’re too new or something,” Ramon comforted me. I could tell he didn’t believe it, but I didn’t want to make him feel bad.

“So if you’re not going to take me to Appollyon, what are you going to do with me?” I asked.

Ramon took a deep breath. “I’m hoping that if I help you, you’ll let me join your crew. I don’t believe in the things they do down here. I want to make a difference, fight back like you guys are doing.”

I smiled at Ramon. He seemed like a nice kid, but now was not exactly the time to be recruiting members to my crew…whatever that meant. “Look, you could join the groups that are fighting against the sanguiem occupant any time you want. You don’t need my help. I’m not even really the person to talk to.”

Ramon looked crushed. His eager brown eyes lowered and looked angry. He turned to walk away. My first day as a celestial being and I was crushing a teenage boy’s dream. Good job, Rory.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to join us,” I filled in quickly. “I’m new to this. I don’t know exactly what the politics are or what needs to happen. But listen, you can do me a favor and it will help you out.”

Ramon turned back around, some of the eagerness returning to his features. “What can I do?”

I smiled again, trying to reassure both of us. “Find Willa or Tanaka. They are part of my…crew,” I stumbled over the kid’s word. It sounded like we were in a gang. I’m sure Jude would love to know he had a crew. “Tell them I’m here, that you saw me. And then talk to them about how to join a crew or the crew. They know better than I. Tell them I sent you as a messenger.”

The chanting started up again and caught my attention. Hooded figures were moving back towards the fire. It was louder and more urgent this time. I looked to Ramon, panicked.

“What’s happening?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. Something important. It’s a big meeting. Normally, I would say we found you. But since I’m here, I’m pretty sure they haven’t.” He gave me a reassuring lopsided grin. If he had been able to age past a teenager he would have been breaking hearts left and right. Ramon peered around the corner to the center cavern.

“What do you think it is?” We both hid in the small cavern, trying to see what was happening without anyone catching us. Our voices had dropped to a whisper. Not that it mattered, the frantic chanting would have drowned us out.

Suddenly, the center fire where Appollyon normally stood grew larger. It shot up into the air and then the top third of the flame divided itself in half. The halves curved around to form a circle of fire atop the flame.

“Oh,” Ramon breathed. He looked to me. “I’ve only seen this happen once since I got here. It’s The Oracle. The messengers will be here any moment.”

He looked like he wanted to go and check it out. The eagerness was back in his face. I turned toward Ramon and put a hand on his arm. The solid contact of our bodies felt good after so long with no physical body.

“Go out there. I should be fine while the messengers are here. Find Willa or Tanaka and tell them what I said. They’ll be able to help you.” Ramon nodded, his face serious with the important task. “And Ramon? Thanks.”

He turned back around, his black robe swishing around his legs. He smiled and managed to look bewildered all at the same time. “For what?”

I smiled back. “For delivering the message. For not giving me up. For finding me in that cave.”

His mouth stretched into an enormous grin. “Anytime!” He started to race away and then turned back to me, the smile still firmly in place. “See ya on the outside!” With that, he ran through the crowd of hooded figures.

“I hope so, Ramon. I hope so,” I whispered.

I continued to watch the fire as he left. Everyone in the cavern seemed to be fixated on the fire circle, so it seemed no one was looking for me. If I ever saw the Oracle again I would thank her for distracting the evertos.

Two blue wispy figures with shapeless green wings floated from the fiery circle. Their lifeless blue orb eyes seemed to be searching the cave. The messengers had arrived. A ripple of excitement went through the crowd. It must be a big deal when the messengers showed up. Everyone in both Heaven and Hell seemed to get themselves all in a tizzy. Suddenly, the two pairs of blue orbs focused themselves on me. This, of course, only caused the entire cavern full of evertos to see what they were looking at. Which means they all turned to stare at me.

I took a deep breath, still excited that I could do that. I wasn’t sure what to do. It looked like the messengers wanted me, but would the evertos fight them to get to me or something? I could smell the excitement of the evertos – it was like copper and cotton candy radiating off them. Weird.

“She’s here. She’s right there. Did she join us? Is she ours?” The whispers came from all over the cavern. No one moved. They all just stared and whispered. I could see Appollyon and some of the others rigid with the strain of holding themselves back. They wanted me. They wanted me bad.

A white-yellow light rose from one of the messengers’ chests, up its throat, and floated out of its mouth.

“You will come,” the floating light said.

I had to assume it was talking to me as the messengers were staring at me. I nodded, not entirely sure what I was supposed to do. The messengers started floating towards me so I crept farther out of the small cavern I had been hiding in.

The messengers descended on me, each grabbing an arm as they did before. Their translucent bodies were cool against my warm skin. They lifted me and we floated over the cavern of evertos. I could smell the fear and rage that was starting to build among them – the smell of ink and Tabasco sauce.

My body heated up as we got closer to the circle of fire. Then we crossed through it and suddenly, I was somewhere else. It wasn’t the warm tropical location of the last time I saw the Oracle. It wasn’t even covered in snow. This place was altogether different.

The messengers deposited me and then disappeared like wisps of smoke. My feet stood in sand. In fact, everywhere I looked all I could see was never-ending sand occasionally broken up with dunes of more sand. The sun beat down on me, but again it was comfortably warm and not at all what I imagine sand in a desert would be like. Fifty yards away was a small dwelling made of stone. It was simple and looked no bigger than the size of a small room, with windows that were really openings cut in the walls. I moved closer and saw burlap covered the windows from the inside and also was used as a door in a man-sized opening.

Cautiously, I approached the dwelling. I had to imagine that this was where the Oracle was, though it had nothing of the peace and serenity of the last time I visited. When I reached the flap that covered the door, I hesitated. There was no reason the Oracle could want to see me. I had made my choice and whether it was right, wrong, or screwed the universe – it was done. I couldn’t imagine what she wanted to talk to me about. Unless I was in trouble. But what was the worst that would happen? I would be sent to be with the evertos or angelus and never see Jude again. It would be incredibly awful, but not something the Oracle needed to see me about. I sighed. I really hoped that wasn’t why I was here. All of eternity without Jude…I couldn’t think about it.

Before I could think myself into a downward spiral, the flap pulled to the side. A man stepped into the doorway. He didn’t look very large, maybe 5’9” and dressed in loose jeans and a white t-shirt. His large feet were bare. A lean, muscled arm pushed the rest of the material away from the door and he stepped into the light. The man had the darker complexion of someone from the Middle East, with brown curly hair that hung to his shoulders. His face was covered in a beard the same color as his hair. The honey color of his eyes held a kindness that I rarely saw in people. Peace and serenity surrounded me and I knew this is what the angelus meant by feeling someone’s energy. The smell coming off of him reminded me of an old neighbor in San Francisco who used to wear Egyptian oil. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Please come in,” the stranger said in a warm baritone.

I crossed the remaining few feet separating us. When I reached the stranger, he didn’t move aside but continued to study me with a smile on his face. It grew wider and a relieved twinkle entered his eyes. The next thing I knew the man was wrapping me in a hug. His arms were strong and warm around me. It felt like coming home after a long trip.

“It is a pleasure to have you here and under such auspicious circumstances,” the stranger told me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled into his shoulder. I had no idea what he was talking about but I figured it was easier to play along. This was just getting stranger and stranger.

He released me and then swept a hand toward the interior of the dwelling. “Please, come in.”

I choked back a laugh when I entered the place. It was indeed a one room dwelling, but nothing like the outside led me to believe. Under my feet was the most plush, deep red carpet my feet had ever felt. The floor was scattered with large, comfortable sitting cushions in warm colors. Sheer yellow material started from the center of the ceiling and hung down the walls, making it feel as if we were in a tent. In the center of the ceiling hung an elaborate lantern like something I had seen in an expensive Thai restaurant in San Francisco. One wall had a cast iron stove on it with cupboard next to it and a small metal sink. Scattered around the place were hanging plants with exotic, colorful flowers. The whole room was comfortable and inviting.

“Please, sit,” the stranger invited me. I lowered myself onto a large cushion and sat with my legs crossed. “Would you like some tea?”

“Sure,” I answered skeptically. So I was in some modernized desert dwelling with a kind man making me tea. Yup, this wasn’t weird at all. And where was the Oracle? I looked around the place another moment as the guy put water in the kettle and started heating it on the stove. When he turned his honeyed eyes on me, I decided it was time to get some answers. “Where’s the Oracle?”

He smiled, a small secretive smile and looked at me knowingly. Oh god, this guy was the Oracle and I’m an idiot. But wasn’t the Oracle supposed to look like who I wanted it to be? Not that I minded this guy, I mean he was attractive and everything but I was still looking for the women who looked like my grandmother and I didn’t understand how she…he had changed.

So instead of bursting forth with all of the craziness that was happening in my head, I just replied, “Oh. Right.” Yes, my brilliance is just astounding.

The stranger chuckled. Or should I call him the Oracle? “I understand this might be confusing. Last time, I told you everyone sees me as they want to. This time I needed you to see me in my true state.”

True state? Like this is what the Oracle looked like normally? I kind of thought he would be well…an old, wise crone or some wispy figure like the messengers. Or at least someone with a crystal ball. Not some thirty year old guy in jeans and a t-shirt. Mythology and fables really need to stop lying to us…reality is too disappointing.

He chuckled again. “I am guessing you were expecting something a bit different.”

I smiled, an embarrassed blush filling my cheeks. “Someone wispier or older, I suppose. You look kind of like a hippie at a peace rally.” Oh. My. God. Did I just say that out loud to the Oracle?

The Oracle let out a roar of laughter and nodded. “I suppose that’s an accurate description.”

Just then the kettle whistled and he turned to it, still chuckling. He took out two cups from the cupboard, dropped tea bags into them and filled each with water. As he moved, muscles rippled over his back, shoulders, and arms. The Oracle wasn’t a large man, but he didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. I’m pretty sure you weren’t supposed to notice the Oracle was kind of hot. I’m sure Willa would have approved of my drooling though.

When he turned around his eyes lit with humor and it was then that I remembered. “Oh crap,” I told him. “You can read my thoughts.” I am an idiot.

The Oracle shook his head, as my face heated up. Again. “You’re not an idiot. And it’s always nice when someone…appreciates your looks.” He chuckled again. “Here.”

He handed me a large mug with ‘Someone went to Reno and I all I got was this crappy mug’ scrawled across it in red. An illustrated sign that lit up with the word ‘Reno’ in large bulbs graced the back. I couldn’t help but laugh at the oddity of this. When I looked up the Oracle had a white mug with a big, rainbow peace sign on it. He smiled at me over it and just shrugged.

“I feel like you should have some earthenware mugs or special goblets made of Lennox crystal or something. It makes you more human to know you get your mugs the same place everyone else does – from random friends or garage sales. Though I can’t imagine being the one to shop for you on a trip. Hmmm,” I intoned, like I was indecisively looking over objects at a store, “I can’t decide what to get the Oracle. I think this awesome ‘all I got was this crappy mug’ mug is perfect!“

The Oracle chuckled again. “Jesus,” he said to me.

“What?” I looked up confused.

“You keep calling me ‘The Oracle’. Please call me by my name – Jesus,” he asked me as he settled onto a cushion across from me.

My eyes widened involuntarily. He couldn’t be. “Like Jesus-Jesus? I mean, biblical son-of-God Jesus?”

“That is one way to put it,” he answered calmly, like he wasn’t telling me he was freakin’ Jesus! Like the most famous person on earth, greatest historical figure, legend to Christians Jesus! Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Wait. He can hear my thoughts. Freak out. Freak out! “Relax,” he told me. “I’m just like anyone else.”

I cocked my head to the side. My eyes must have been wide as saucers. “You aren’t just like anyone else, I don’t care what you think, I mean you’re Jesus and that’s not just anyone, that…err, you are the most famous person ever I think and not only that but you’re the Oracle on top of it and two thousand years old, so really any of those things by themselves are intimidating but put it all together and you are so far from anyone else it’s sort of ridiculous.”

He smiled widely at me. Oh. My. God. I just spewed my nervous run-on sentence thing at the son of God. Crap! And just thought “God” a million times. I’m pretty sure I was going to Hell. Wait, I might have been going there anyway. This sucks.

“It doesn’t have to suck,” The Oracle…err…Jesus told me. He smiled peacefully. “You do not need to worry so much about what I think of you. There is a lot you do not understand and a lot that you think you know, but it is not true.”

I nodded and then sighed. “You realize that really didn’t make a whole lotta sense, right?”

He chuckled this time. “I knew I would like talking to you. And yes, it does make sense. Just not to you.”

Thanks for the help there Jesus. The man in question raised an eyebrow at me. Crap! He can read my thoughts. “Any chance you can turn that thought reading thing off. It’s only going to get me in trouble.”

“It does not work that way,” he shrugged. “Sorry.”

I nodded. Now that I knew who he was and we had our tea, I was kind of wondering what the heck I was doing here. I mean, no one had seen the guy in thousands of years, so why did he call me up…over….wherever here was. I looked him over. “Why have you been hiding for so long?”

“Hiding?” he asked. Jesus sat up a little straighter and focused his eyes on me.

“I mean…well, no one has seen you in thousands of years. They all think Jude did away with you or something,” I awkwardly explained.

“Did away with me?”

I sighed. “He was the last one to see you or so the rumor goes. They all think he killed you or you know, whatever you do to celestial beings to make them disappear forever.”

Jesus shook his head, suddenly agitated. “No. That’s not what happened at all. After Jude and I spoke I was called here.”

“Called? Like how priests and nuns have a calling from God. Except that yours was literally from God, him being your dad and all.” Yeah. Real smooth there Rory. Maybe in college or you know, when you die they should have a whole ‘talking to a spiritual being’ course or something.

“Not quite like that. The laws of the universe and what everyone thinks of as religion is not…well, it is not as black and white as humans have made it. Nor is it as easy to explain. The same way you were pulled into what you call Hell, before you came here.” I nodded when he looked at me. “It was like that. I was pulled here into this white space. I can create it however I want and from here, I can sense the shifts and changes within the earth.”

“Shifts and changes?” I asked. His explanation was starting to make my head spin a bit.

“Energetic shifts and changes with the earth and its natural balance, as well as spiritual shift of the humans living there. I have always been able to sense it. That is how I am able to give advice to the evertos and angelus about what needs to be done. It is part of the reason I am a…legend.” He said the final word sarcastic twist of his mouth, as if being called that was ridiculous.

I narrowed my eyes. “But why can’t you do that in Heaven or Hell? Why do you have to be up here in your…white space? Whatever that is.”

He chuckled lightly at my last sentence. “I call it white space because when I was pulled here, it was literally all white. Scariest thing…all that nothingness. But I realized I could manipulate it however I liked.”

“That sounds pretty cool.”

Jesus shrugged. “For a while. But it is extremely lonely up here. And…I can feel the shifts and changes of earth and the celestial planes. Aside from sending the messengers down with advice, I cannot do anything about it. It is very frustrating.”

I sat up taller on my cushion and put my tea on the floor. “Can’t you just bring people up here if you’re lonely? I mean, I’m here. Or go back down there? Why can’t you go back down there? You’re Jesus,” I added as if he didn’t know that.

Jesus rubbed his beard in thought. “No.” The sadness and finality in his answer struck me. I wanted to comfort him but I wasn’t sure how. Before I could ponder it further, he continued. “When I need to pass a message along, the messengers appear. I have tried to wish myself or focus all of my energy on entering what you call Heaven or Hell or even appearing on Earth. Nothing has worked. There is no way for me to leave here that I can see. And I have been trying for two thousand years.”

“Well, bring the party to you then,” I told him. Wow, I’d been hanging out with Willa too long. I coughed trying to cover my awkward statement. “I mean, can’t you bring people here?”

Jesus shook his head slowly. “No and yes. I’ve brought Micaela, Appollyon, and others up here when sending the messengers was not enough to make what needed to happen happen. You are the only one I have been able to call up here willingly. I do not understand why. If I could bring others up, Judas would have been the first and hopefully, most frequent visitor.”

I smiled. “He would like that. And then maybe he would forgive himself for betraying you.” I looked up at Jesus. “He finally told me all about it. And you’re right. He did nothing wrong. But he just can’t seem to let go of it. If I don’t go back to him, he’ll blame that on himself too.” Suddenly, alarm raced through me. “I am going back right? To him? Not trapped in my body?”

Jesus patted my hand reassuringly and a calming warmth spread through me. “You will go back and in your proper celestial form.”

My breath escaped in a relieved sigh. I picked my tea back up to give myself something to do. Really, there were a million questions rolling through my head. Why was Jesus stuck up here? Did the universe mean for Jude to feel so guilty so he would spend forever making it up so he could end up starting his own revolution? Why was I the only one that could get up here? Would it happen more often? Could I somehow bring Jude with me? Why did Jesus pick the desert and this dwelling for today? Why was he letting me see the real him and not who I saw before?

Jesus suddenly stood up and started pacing while he rubbed his beard. I smiled for a moment because his pacing reminded me of Jude. Apparently, they both did that when agitated.

Jesus stopped and looked at me. “Even after two thousand years, he still paces?’

I smiled. “Only when he’s agitated or angry or upset or frustrated.”

Jesus returned the smile. “It is his fault that I do this. The only way to talk to him when he was upset was to pace with him. It is a habit I cannot get myself out of. It reminds me of my old friend.” Jesus dropped his hand and his shoulders slumped a little. “I showed you my real self and made the area like I grew up because for once, I wanted to someone to see me. Not The Oracle, not the myth that is now Jesus. Just me.”

I shook my head and watched the raw emotion play across his face. The years hadn’t been easy on him either. “Why me though? I’m new to this…I broke every rule there is. At least, I think I did. I tried.”

A real, beautiful smile graced his face. “You found a way to fulfill the prophecy without war. I would say that you succeeded. It will not be easy for you, but I believe you chose wisely.”

I smiled again, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. “I do too.”

Jesus folded his legs and sat down across from me. He lifted my chin so I was forced to look at him. “Part of the reason I showed my true self to you is because of who you are. Because you chose to break all the rules and because you are the one person I can bring here. The other reason is…Jude was my closest companion, like a brother to me. For you to love him as I do, it makes me feel closer to him. I want you to know that and hopefully he will remember that and forgive himself.”

“I think Jude will figure it out eventually. Especially when I tell him his best friend gave him thumbs up on the new girl in his life,” I joked.

Jesus chuckled and removed his hand from me, sitting down more comfortably. “You are right, you know.”

I shook my head. Right about what?

“Jude needed to feel that guilt. He strove against being an evertos and that is what changed him into the incomitatus. You choosing him was the only way out of the prophecy without a war that would have destroyed earth. I just wish it wasn’t him,” Jesus said sadly.

It was my turn to pat his hand. “It had to be him. He is the only person strong enough to handle what happened. The only person who loves deep enough to feel this guilty for this long. And the only person with enough conviction to spend so much time trying to right it, that he changes the history of celestial beings forever.”

Jesus smiled. “You do love him.”

I nodded. “With everything I have,” I agreed solemnly.

He put a warm hand on my shoulder and peace flowed through me once again. “It will not be easy for you. Both the evertos and angelus will be against you and Judas.”

“I know,” I said quietly. I hadn’t imagined that my choice would make me friends.

“But it has made you friends,” Jesus answered my thoughts. “Others will come. Others will want to be part of what you do.”

“Like Willa, Jerrick, Marco and Tanaka,” I added.

He smiled a small smile. “Yes. But more than that. Many more. Moira and Ramon to name a few. Many that you have not yet met, that like Judas, hunt the sanguinem occupant.” He sighed and took his hand from my shoulder. “Unfortunately, you now have many powerful enemies.”

“Why?” When Jesus looked at me for further explanation, I continued. “I mean, I get the whole Heaven/Hell thing. The world needs balance of good and evil, all that. And I understand everyone is upset that their group won’t get to have control over the earth. But I have a feeling that won’t stop them from fighting each other for control over it anyway. So why is everyone so angry that I didn’t choose them? They can still fight, they can still try to get control and I can go live my afterlife…or whatever with Jude.”

Jesus lifted up my cup of tea. The mug grew warm and the tea in the cup refilled itself. When I lifted my surprised eyes to his, they just twinkled mischievously. “The world is much more complicated now. In the beginning, the afterlife was chaos. Souls stayed on earth causing problems. They didn’t always let go of their families or old vendettas and it was causing problems for the living. So the afterlife was created. Soon after that, the system of what you think of as Heaven and Hell. Heaven was the place where souls who had lived basically good lives went. Hell wasn’t the fire and brimstone people imagine it. It was more of a rehabilitation program. Souls went there for rehabilitation and then were reborn into bodies and tried to live a better life each time around. Souls from Heaven also did that, but they didn’t need the rehabilitation.”

“So Hell started out as the Betty Ford Clinic of souls?” I asked.

Jesus’s lips quirked. “Something like that.” Then he frowned. “But it has gotten out of control. People, souls, living a good life – it is not always, it is never, black and white. So the angelus and evertos got together and created the jury system for souls. But as Judas explained to you, that does not always work. Now with you and Judas creating a third, wild card option for souls, it lessens the strength of the evertos and angelus.”

Now this was starting to get bad. I was ruining a system that had been in place since the beginning of time. No wonder everyone was pissed at me. I tilted my head and looked at Jesus. I mean, the best way to stop this from happening was to kill me – but we were all already dead. “Can I die? I mean, I know I’m dead but is there something that can happen to me to kill my soul or whatever?”

Jesus’s honey eyes darkened to the color of whiskey. “You cannot die. Your soul cannot disappear but there are places that you can go where you would wish for death.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, fear lodging into my throat. Appollyon and Micaela definitely knew how to send people to those places. And I’m pretty sure I was number one on their list to be rid of. Well, either me or Jude.

Jesus’s brow furrowed for a moment and looked away. After a moment his eyes rested on me again. “Humans have called ‘limbo’ the place between earth and Heaven or Hell. They think it is what happens when souls cannot move on. The truth is, souls can always move on. Some choose not to or need encouragement to do it. The afterlife is never closed to a soul. I imagine, what humans think of as ‘limbo’ would accurately describe the place where souls go when they are not in Heaven, Hell, or wandering the earth.”

“And what is that place?” And was I going to end up there?

“It is a place of never ending blackness. You are alone with your thoughts and feelings. You cannot see or hear anything. Just blackness and quiet,” he answered solemnly.

“How do you get there? How can someone just send someone else there?” I wanted to know. If there was a way to avoid it, I would.

Jesus sighed and looked forlorn. “I am not positive. All of this came about while I was here. From what it seems, it takes a lot of energy and many souls coming together to make it happen. Only powerful souls, grouped together can send someone there.”

I jumped up and then huffed out a breath. It was my turn to start pacing. “See here’s the thing, Jesus. If you don’t even know when new things - like limbo – are getting added into the whole ‘being dead’ repertoire, then how can you do your job? I get that you’re supposed to guide everyone because of your gift. That makes sense. But how can you guide them if you’re all cushy in your white space up here?” I turned and saw his face fall. Crap. I hadn’t meant to insult the man. Not just the man – the freakin’ son of God. “I don’t mean that it’s all cushy up here,” I tried explaining. “It seems pretty lonely. I mean, if you’re up here away from everyone and everything that’s happening, how can you best lead them?”

Jesus just shrugged. “A question I have asked myself many times.”

I eyed the man skeptically. “And you say you can bring me up here whenever you want?”

He nodded. “It seems that way. I have only tried these two times.”

“Okay. Well then, I’ll need to get up here more frequently,” I told him.

Jesus smiled. “I would enjoy that. But can I ask why?”

I smiled widely at him. “Because we are going to figure out a way to break you out of here.”

His smile fell. “I am unsure if that will work. I have been trying for two thousand years.”

I knelt down so my eyes were level with his. “Yes, but you’ve never been able to get anyone up here before unless you needed them. Now you can get me up here. Plus, we’ll have Jude helping and lord knows,” I looked guiltily at him, “sorry.” Jesus just shook his head and laughed at me. “I mean, everyone knows that he will move mountains, walk through fire, all those clichés, to help you. We have a witch, Willa, who will help because we ask and she’s amazing and always up for an adventure. Not to mention Tanka, Marco, and Jerrick, who are some of the smartest, greatest, most amazing people….errr…souls, I know.”

“I guess we will see,” he told me quietly.

It was my turn to put a reassuring hand on his shoulders. “You know that you being up here isn’t working. Furthermore, you don’t want to be up here.” I waited for Jesus to contradict me and when he didn’t I continued. “So we will work on getting you out. It’s time. For you and for the rest of the human and celestial worlds.”

Jesus nodded solemnly. Then he smiled sadly. “It is time for you to get back. Judas will be worried.”

I smiled. “He’s always worried.” My eyes connected with his again. “We’ll get you out.”

“It is not like I am in jail, Rory.” His attempt to lighten the mood didn’t work. He smiled at me gently. “I will see you soon.”

He rose and walked me to the door of his dwelling. When Jesus pulled the curtain aside, I saw the two wispy messengers waiting for me. I walked out the door and looked back to Jesus. I couldn’t help the fear that suddenly rose in my throat. I didn’t know what I would be returning to. Or if I would be able to get back from Hell or Heaven – whichever the messengers dropped me off in. The souls there still wanted me. Even if it was just to send me limbo.

“When I get back, how-“

“Just focus on where you want to be and you will go there. Judas will be waiting in the cave where he buried your body,” Jesus cut me off, answering my question.

“Thanks,” I told him.

Jesus walked toward me and wrapped me in his arms. “There are many mysteries surrounding you. I am sure they will reveal themselves in time, but for now, I am grateful you are able to visit me.”

I squeezed him a little harder, peace and warmth enveloping me. “We’ll get you out somehow.” I pulled back and smiled at him. “You’re a good guy. You should be yourself more often.”

The smile that tugged across his face was bright and warm. “With you, Rory, always. Take care of Judas.”

“I always do,” I told him and turned around.

The messengers held on to me with their wispy arms and we floated towards the sun. The next thing I knew we were coming out of the ring of fire and standing on the fiery platform in Hell.

Thousands of robed figures with dark, spiny wings were staring right at me. I was so screwed. The messengers left and I was alone. There was a pounding in my chest that resembled a heartbeat. Slowly, Appollyon started walking toward me.

What did Jesus say? Focus and get myself out. Okay. Think of Jude. Think of that cave. Think of my body.

Then I noticed Appollyon was holding hands with Mathius and a bunch of other demons. When I looked around, it seemed everyone in the cavern was holding onto each other. My breathing started getting erratic. They were connecting themselves to each other.

Get out of here, Rory! I yelled at myself. Focus. The cave. My body.

The only reason they would connect themselves was to gather energy. Enough energy to send me to limbo.

Focus. The cave.

Appollyon was getting closer.

Jude. Focus on Jude. Find Jude. Get to Jude. Be with Jude. Focus on Jude. Get to Jude. Be with Jude. It was becoming a mantra in my mind. Focus, find, get to, be with Jude. Focus, find, get to, be with Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude.

The demons were closing in on me. I could hear them chanting.

Jude. Jude. Jude.

A hot hand reached out for me.