Celestials

“Jude,” I hissed to the lump of person, conspicuously near to me. “Jude!”

He opened his eyes and for a quick moment smiled at me. “Talking to me again?” he asked.

“No,” I replied, obviously surprising the hell out of him. “We have company.” I nodded to the figure at the door. Jude followed my glance and jumped to stand in front of me.

“Whatever happens, don’t let him bite you,” Jude warned me.

“What?” Why the hell would a demon bite me? Throw a fireball or try to kidnap me back into Hell, I understood. But bite me?

“He’s a sanguinem occupanti,” Jude told me as the creature advanced. “He could kill you quite easily.”

Awesome. Now there’s vampire-like demons on our asses. This day just got better. Couldn’t we catch a freakin’ break?

I jumped up, ready to defend myself, forgetting that my body was falling apart. Pain shot across my torso and doubled me over. The sanguine occupanti watched me hungrily. It’s like he knew I was weak and hurting. It’s like the animal kingdom. I was the baby gazelle and he was the lion. Crap. I’m so dead.

The vampire thing crouched and then sprung at me. I jumped back, slamming into the wall. Jude lunged in front of me, tackling the vampire. The blanket I had wrapped around me did little to cushion my back from injury. Pain ripped across my lower back. I held in a scream knowing it wouldn’t help me or Jude.

Jude.

I looked over and he was wrestling with the vampire thing. His black feathery wings spread out in all of their glory. Jude looked dark, savage, and powerful. He was like every image of sexy dark angel come to life.

And I should really stop adolescently fantasizing about him and try to help him out.

I scrambled up and looked for a weapon. It seemed choices were a rock and a slightly larger rock. I grabbed the biggest one and waited for my chance. Jude and the vamp were too locked together for me to get a clear shot at the creep’s head. Jude and the vamp rolled towards the wall. Suddenly, the vamp flipped Jude over and was kneeling on top of him. He grabbed Jude’s throat and shook him violently.

It was now or never. Jude didn’t look like he was doing so well. I wound my arm back and threw the rock as hard as I could. My back and torso stretched and lit up in pain.

The vampire moved at the last second and instead of hitting it squarely on the head, like I planned, it hit him on shoulder. Angrily, the thing glanced up at me. I could swear he licked his lips. Then he pounded Jude’s head into the floor with a resounding thunk and leaped after me. I scrambled away but it was useless. The vampire thing was so much faster and I was already hurting.

He grabbed my ankle and I sprawled out onto the floor. My torso slid across the rocky floor and I screamed. This only seemed to excite the thing behind me. It was grunting in delight. I tried to get up but the vampire was already holding me flat by pressing its knees into my thighs and one hand was on my shoulder. With its free hand the creature ripped my shirt. I could hear it laughing in delight.

What the hell? I know my back wasn’t that exciting. What could it be looking at?

It took me all of three seconds to figure out. A long nail plunged into sensitive skin on my back and suddenly I could feel warm liquid dripping down my back. I screamed again. I couldn’t take much more of this pain. I must be tearing on my back for that thing to make me bleed so easily. And the pain. Oh God, the pain. It hurt so much worse where the tearing was.

Suddenly a rough wetness was on my back over the cut. It’s long tongue was licking me again and again. The thing was slurping my blood, I could hear the wet noise against its mouth. Bile rose in my throat. This was it. I was going to die. Not as a martyr, not as anything. Just a sad, pitiful girl dying at the hands of a disgusting, twisted demon.

Through my tears I saw Jude lying there, half-unconscious. If I was going to die at the hand of a demon, I would much rather it be having sex with Jude. Fuck, I was messed up.

And then his head moved. Jude rolled his eyes to the side and widened when he saw what was going on. It hurt too much to form words. I wanted to thank him for everything he did. I wanted to tell him that I thought I was falling in love with him. I wanted to tell him I was sorry. I tried to let him read that in my eyes, feel it in my feelings.

You need to catch this, his voice rang inside my head.

Catch what? What the hell was he talking about? Was he delirious? And then I saw a long dagger in his hand. Where had that come from?

I’ll slide it to you.

Great. And then I was supposed to stab this thing?

Yes, his voice echoed in my head.

I nodded my head, trying to be brave for him. It was up to me to save both of us. Jude caught my eye and nodded at me. He knew I could do this. It was radiating in his eyes.

The dagger made the distinctive sound of metal on rock when it slid toward me. The vampire laid off his slurping of my back and looked up surprised. It was the perfect opportunity to grab the handle of the dagger and swing my arm around. I felt it solidly connect with his chest and slide in.

Suddenly, the vampire thing was lying on the floor beside me. However, his eyes glowed with rage and he was struggling to get up. The dagger was plunged into the right side of his chest. I removed it and without thinking went straight for his heart. The vampire growled and hissed its rage. I pulled out the dagger and threw myself on top of the monster waiting for him to make another wrong move.

Slowly, the creature’s hissing became silent and its struggle died down. The vampire’s body blinked a couple of times, like a hologram with a bad transmission. Then it disappeared. Completely. One minute I’m holding down a struggling vampire thing and the next I’m straddling air.

I turned back to Jude but he was already struggling drunkenly to his feet.

“Need to get out of here,” he mumbled to me.

“What the hell just happened?” I asked him, still staring at the empty spot the creature left.

“Athame,” he explained. Jude must have felt my confusion because he continued. “A Wiccan blade, enhanced with the right spells can kill one of those things.”

“At least as much as they can be killed,” I retorted, getting up.

“Gotta leave,” Jude told me again. His body was still swaying but he was a bit more stable.

I wiped off the dagger and jammed it in my pack along with Jude’s letter that had fallen to the floor. My hands were shaking from shock or fear and I tried to hide them so Jude wouldn’t see. I couldn’t put my pack on so I gripped my hands tightly around its handle and looked to Jude. His bag was packed and already secured tightly over his shoulders. He stood there watching me, worry warring with something else. I must have been reading his desire wrong. Until I looked down and realized I was in jeans and just my bra. I turned to pick up the blanket I had dropped.

“You’re bleeding,” Jude said, his voice still muddled. The hit to his head was making him wobbly.

I shook my head and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders with shaky hands. “Let’s get out of here and we’ll worry about it later.”

He nodded and opened his arms so I could step into them. I must be scared because it was the first time I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt either. I shook my head. This was not any sort of sexual proposition, this was running for our lives and I needed to remember that.

When I stood in front of Jude, he took my pack and loosely looped one strap through his arm and the other through mine. We were cradling it in our outstretched arms, while holding each other’s shoulders. Jude slid his arm through my left arm, which was bent to hold the blanket around my shoulders. He gripped my body just above my butt and pulled me in close. He stepped so one of my legs was settled in between his and one of his between mine. There was not a breath of space in between our bodies until my waist. I understood what he was doing, getting us as close together to vanish without hurting any of the tearing on my body. However, he was standing there with no shirt on and we were…entangled. If he was trying to distract me from what was happening, he was doing an incredible job.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered against my ear and I did, dropping my forehead on his chest.

The world swirled around us and then we stopped abruptly. Neither of us moved. I kept my forehead against his chest and my eyes stayed closed. I just needed to be close to him. There was a monster slurping up my blood and ready to kill me. I thought I was going to die and Jude was going to have to watch. I knew what that would do to him.

My body started shaking uncontrollably. Jude stepped away from me and the room felt colder. I didn’t care. I kept my eyes closed, trusting Jude to keep my safe. Not that it mattered. I was going to die soon anyway, if a demon or an angel or a vampire thing didn’t speed it up. I should be able to handle this! I should! But my body was betraying me and shaking like a leaf.

Suddenly, my blanket was pulled tighter around me and warm arms were embracing me. Jude made sure that my torso wasn’t touching him. One arm stayed securely around my shoulders and the other ran through my hair. He gave me soothing kisses on the crown of my head and murmured softly to me. I couldn’t understand what he was saying but it didn’t matter. I was safe.

After a while I stopped shaking. Jude put his thumb under my chin and forced me to look at him. He just stared into my eyes a moment, searching for something. Finally, he rested his other hand on my cheek.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said quietly.

I nodded and followed him into the bathroom. For the first time, I took in our surroundings. We were in another one of the safe houses. The floor plan was exactly the same as all the others. This one, however, had a wall in the common area that had blue, green, and orange swirls instead of any polka dots. Willa must have been here at some point.

When we reached the bathroom, Jude gently took the blanket from my shoulders and turned me around. I leaned my arms on the sink as he looked over my back. In the mirror I could see Jude’s face scrunch in fear. My tearing must be progressing more rapidly than he thought. I sighed. I didn’t want to die, but living life like this wasn’t any fun.

Jude grabbed a towel and wet it. He rubbed a bar of soap on it and gently, swiped at my back. The cold cloth and the sensitive skin back there made me suck in a breath.

“I’m sorry,” Jude told me, “but I need to clean it.”

“It’s fine,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. If the cloth wasn’t so cold, I would have thought he lit my back on fire. I tried to focus on other things. “Where are we?”

“The safehouse in Vegas.” Jude reached to grab gauze, medical tape and some ointment. “They’re finding us no matter where we go, so I figured we might as well wait for the others here.”

I nodded and breathed in when he touched the cut on my back. With my eyes clenched closed, I asked, “How do they keep finding us, Lancelot?”

Unconsciously, Jude placed a kiss of apology on my bare shoulder. The warmth from it radiated down to my toes. God, I was in so much trouble with him. He kept ministering to my back. So typical. He had no idea that his one little innocent kiss lit me on fire.

“I’m not sure. You’re more powerful than any other certus, so your energy could be broadcasting itself more clearly than others have. Also, you’re tearing, which means your blood is closer to the surface. It’s easier to smell,” he explained, pressing the gauze and tape onto my back.

“Smell it?” They could smell my blood. What did it smell like? How was it different than others? Who the hell could smell blood?

Jude reached around me and washed the cloth off in the sink. “Yes, they can smell your blood. Everto more specifically. Angelus are more about your energy. Every person’s blood smells unique, like every human has a distinct smell to them.” He ran the cloth under hot water and added soap, not paying any attention to the effect his words were having on me. Or the fact that he was answering questions I never spoke out loud. He started running the cloth along my back and arms. “Yours smells like the sea, chocolate, and cranberry.”

Jude kept moving the cloth over me. My body tingled in every place he touched. I know that I was probably filthy from rolling around on a dirt floor with a vampire thing, but the sponge bath Jude was giving me was starting to turn me on. Focus on other things, Rory. Focus.

“You can smell my blood?” Keep him talking. Don’t think about jumping him. He slid the cloth up along my side and then moved it up my other one. Heat pooled between my legs. I was in trouble.

Jude nodded in answer to my question. “I can smell it but I can also feel your energy. I think that’s why I find the certus earlier than most.” He grabbed my shoulders and gently spun me around. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and stared instead at my navel.

I shook my head. “And you still think you’re neither angelus or everto? How much more proof do you need you’re both?” Jude gathered my left arm and started moving the cloth over it. My nipples tightened and I was glad the bra I wore covered it up. That was about the only thing the red scrap of fabric was covering.

Jude cleared his throat and moved to my right arm. Maybe he wasn’t so immune to what this was doing to me. “No matter what anyone thinks, I’m the alone, Rory.”

I laughed lightly. “Sure, Jude. Keep telling yourself you’re alone. Tanaka, Marco, Willa, and Jerrick are following you around because of your great cooking skills. Oh, and Sandy and Jim and their family. They would certainly leave you alone. God, Jude, you’re the self-proclaimed Incomitatus, alone, and you have more people in your life than me.” Which was probably better. My life wasn’t going to last much longer anyway.

Jude shrugged and then leaned over me to run the cloth under water. His body was pressed so close to me, only a breath separated us. Suddenly, all thoughts of what we were talking about flew out of my head. The only thing my already heated body wanted to do was close the distance between us.

Jude moved back and started washing off my stomach. “I…it’s just…the…just the way….it is,” he told me lamely.

I didn’t say anything back. My mouth was suddenly dry and all I could do was stare at his lips. When he moved the cloth up to my chest, I almost cried out in frustration. I wanted it to be his hands and I wanted them to be all over me. Finally, he stopped and I took a deep breath. I could handle this.

Jude leaned over me again, washing out the cloth again. His body was pressed close to me and I could feel his arousal on my thigh. I smiled. So this was just as erotic for him as it was for me. When he leaned away, I grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

Though his face lit up with a smile, fear and desire warred in his eyes. Jude took a small step back and lifted up the cloth, letting me know what he was doing. He ran the cloth down his left arm. When he got down to his hand, I stopped him. His face registered surprise and I chuckled. It was my turn to have some fun.

I grabbed the cloth and trailed it up his arm and moved around to his back. There I slowly ran it from shoulder to shoulder and down his spine. I could feel his intake of breath. I moved the cloth up one side, across his lower back, and up the other. With my right hand, I moved the cloth along his right arm, all the while I trailed small kisses along Jude’s back.

Moving the cloth back up his right arm, I came to stand in front of him. With my eyes never leaving his, I ran the cloth from shoulder to shoulder. Then slowly I moved it down to his chest, speckled with dark hair. Never in my life had bathing been so erotic. Giving in to what I really wanted to do, I followed behind the cloth with my mouth. The feel of my warm lips on his cooler skin had heat swimming between my legs. I trailed the cloth and my kisses all the way down to his navel, so I was on my knees. I nuzzled into his toned stomach and breathed in his male scent.

Suddenly, Jude lifted me to standing. He took the cloth from my hand and threw it in the sink. With a hand behind my head and the other just above my butt, he backed me into a wall. His body pressed against me, but he still made sure nothing was touching where I was tearing. I only had a moment to appreciate his care before his mouth was on mine. His lips devoured me and I found my hands moving all over his hot skin. I wanted to touch all of him. I wanted all of him. Hell, I wanted to have crazy monkey sex until neither of us could see anymore.

Jude let out a growl like he could read my mind. He looked up with a twinkle in his eye. “Monkey sex?”

I nodded and pulled his face closer for another kiss. “Lots…of…it,” I said in between bites to his lips.

Jude moved his hand from around my back and inched it up my rib cage, careful to avoid any sensitive areas. While his mouth claimed mine, a finger reached inside the cup of my bra. It grazed over a nipple and I moaned into his mouth. Suddenly, his hand left my breast. I was about to protest when I felt myself being lifted up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. The next thing I knew we were sitting on one of the beds, me still straddling him.

“I want you,” Jude told me, his mouth leaving a trail of hot kisses down my neck. “I know I can’t have all of you, but I want to take what I can get.”

I moved my head to the side to give him more access. “Take it all, Jude. I want you.”

He froze and his hands moved to my face. I was staring into his warm, dark eyes. “Say it again.”

“I want you and I want you to have all of me.”

His lips lowered to mine and his tongue slowly tangled with mine. The kiss was more about romance than just frenzied lust. Then he pulled away and looked at me. “You know we can’t have sex,” he growled and I was relieved to realize he was just as frustrated as me. “But I plan to drive you crazy.”

I reached behind me and unhooked my bra, flinging it over our heads. “Sounds like a solid plan.”

“Holy hell, you’re beautiful,” he told me before capturing my mouth. His hands reached up to cup my breasts as his thumbs teased my nipples. I moaned into his mouth again and ground my hips against his erection.

Jude’s mouth left mine and trailed his down tongue my neck. Finally, he stopped at my breast. His tongue darted out to lick my nipple and then took the whole thing in his mouth. I cried out in ecstasy. I wanted him inside of me. My hands threaded in his hair as I pressed him closer. Then he lifted me again and turned us around so I was sitting on the bed. He moved his mouth to my other breast and settled himself between my knees.

When his hands reached the buttons of my jeans, his eyes lifted to ask permission. I nodded, unable to keep the smile off my face. I leaned back on my arms as he left a trail of heat down to the waist of my jeans. Then Jude stood to help me unzip and peal my pants off. He slid them off my legs along with my underwear and tossed it all aside. Jude was about to kneel back down when I stopped him. He gave me a quizzical look, as I trailed kisses down his stomach.

With deft hands I undid the fly of his jeans and lowered them and his boxers to the floor. He stepped out of his jeans and smiled wickedly at me. With fluid grace, he lowered himself to the bed and faced me. His kiss was gentle at first, but soon turned into devouring. He pulled me closer, our free hands roaming over each other in frenzy. It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. His mouth moved to my breast and his hand moved to cover the sensitive spot between my legs. I moaned as he rubbed the part of me already slick with need. Slowly, a finger entered me and I almost lost it.

“I’m imagining that’s me inside of you and you’re so hot and wet around me,” he whispered. I moaned as his fingers slid in and out of me. I was so close to exploding, I could only imagine what it would be like with him actually inside of me. His mouth covered mine again and he whispered, “I want to taste you.”

With that, he sat up and slid his body so his mouth could access the throbbing mass of nerves between my legs. His rather impressive erection was in front of me. Wickedly I smiled and then ran my tongue up the length of it.

“Holy hell, Rory, are you trying to kill me?” He asked, sucking in a breath.

I smiled and ran my tongue over the tip of his penis. “You’re already dead.” With that I took him in my mouth.

Jude had a smile of his own as he licked my clit and then moved so his tongue was darting in and out of me. I moaned and slid both my mouth and hand down his shaft. We fought this pleasure battle until both of us succumbed to mind blowing orgasms.

I lay on my side sated, when Jude turned and crawled so his face was even with mine. His eyes lit with pleasure and he planted a kiss on my forehead. I smiled up at him.

“I’ve wanted to do that…well, more than that, but that was amazing too – pretty much since I laid on eyes on you and I was right – it was mind blowing,” I told him.

“Must have been,” he said chuckling, “because that sentence barely made sense.”

I shrugged and snuggled closer to him.

“C’mon, let’s go take a real shower,” he said, pulling me off the bed.

“If it ends up anywhere close to where that sponge bath landed us, I’m down.” I could hear his laugh as I followed him down the hall.

An hour and a few orgasms later we were laying snuggled in the bed. His arm was around me and I was curled into Jude’s side. As usual, he was careful not to touch any part of me that was tearing.

I played with the hair on his chest, afraid to look him in the eye. When I had almost died in the cave there was something very important I realized and I didn’t want to miss out on the chance for him to know.

“You look like you’re thinking some pretty serious stuff,” he told me.

I glanced up at him, a little surprised. “Can’t you tell what I’m thinking?”

He shrugged. “You’re not as open to me right now as you usually are.”

“But when we were…uh…” I cringed trying to find the right word. “You know…having fun, I guess…it was like you could read my mind easily.”

Jude smiled. “We already have the protector bond, but when we are intimate, immediately our barriers drop. At least, that’s what I’ve been told and experienced with you.”

“So you’ve never…been intimate with a certus before?” I asked. I tried to keep my question casual, I did I swear. I’m not saying it worked, but I tried.

Jude chuckled and then lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. “I’ve never been intimate with a certus before. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I’ve never been with other women and I’m sure you’ve been with other men. But,” he swallowed and then smiled the most breathtaking smile at me. “It’s never been like that.”

I smiled back. “For me either.” I took a deep breath. “Look, when we were in the cave with the vampire thing, I thought I was going to die. And I know it’s going to happen soon. Once that happens, I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if I’ll still be myself or what. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Don’t,” Jude warned me.

“What?” I looked to Jude but he just shook his head. “But you don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“Yes, I do and you can’t say it,” he ordered me.

Ordered me! I sat up and glared down at him. “You can’t tell me what I can and cannot say! I need to let you know something and –“

Jude stopped me with a finger over my lips. “Don’t, please.”

His voice sounded so desperate and his eyes were pleading with me. Oh my god, I was in love with him and he didn’t feel the same way. He wanted to protect me and lusted after me, but he didn’t love me. He didn’t want me to say it so he didn’t have to let me down. I turned so my legs were hanging over the side of the bed and willed myself not to cry.

“Fine,” I said, straightening my shoulders and trying to keep my mind blank – my heart empty. “I won’t say it.”

“Don’t shut me out, Rory,” Jude commanded me softly.

“You can’t have it both ways!” I cried, turning towards him. “You can’t tell me to hide my feelings and then tell me not to shut you out. It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair!”

Jude put his hands on my arms and looked me in the eyes. “It’s not that. I’ve messed this up.”

I shook my head. Now he was making even less sense. I just wanted some quiet time alone so I could wallow in self-pity at what an ass I was.

“It’s not…I know what you’re feeling. I can feel it,” he told me. This wasn’t making me feel any better. In fact, my humiliation was growing by the second. “Look at me, please,” he begged.

Defiantly, I glared at him. If he wanted me to look I wasn’t going to be nice about it.

“Rory, I can feel the way you feel about me. I’ve felt it for a while but I kept denying that’s what you were feeling because I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Angel’s lightning, I am making a mess out of this. Look, I feel what you’re feeling and I didn’t want to believe it because I feel it too for you and I didn’t think you could possibly feel that way about me, but you can’t say it because it’s the same as having sex and you’ll turn into a demon.” He took a breath and then looked at me. “Satan’s gates, I’ve picked up on your run-on sentence habit.”

I just watched him, trying to comprehend what he said. My heart started to feel lighter. “Wait, are you saying that you are in l-“

His finger was over my lips again. “We can’t talk about it. Having sex and…exchanging those words is the equivalent of aligning yourself with me – with demons. You can’t do that.”

I nodded, understanding. But I couldn’t grasp all of what he was saying to me. I mean, I understand the not being able to tell him part. It was the other part, the one where he said he felt the same way that I wasn’t getting. Hell, half the time I thought Jude couldn’t stand me. “You don’t need to feel obligated to reciprocate, you know.”

“What?”

I shrugged. “I get that I’m dying and I’m you know, trying to save the world and all that crap. But you don’t need to say that you feel the same way to make me feel better or under some obligation because it will only hurt in the end when it’s not true and I don’t feel bad that you don’t feel the same, in fact I never expected that you would, so don’t feel like it’s necessary to say it or, well, in this case not say it but come as close as we can without aligning myself with the demons,” I finished.

“Is that what you think this is?” Jude asked, anger flashing in his eyes. Suddenly, he was pissed. What was going on?

I shrugged again. I wasn’t really sure where he was going with this one.

“Why is it you have a hard time believing me when I’m trying to tell you something important?” he snapped.

Turning my head to the side, I put a finger on my chin and answered saucily, “Gee, maybe it’s because you have a history of lying to me so it’s sort of hard to trust you.”

Jude paled and slumped back onto the bed. “You’re right.”

I threw my hands up. “I know.”

He shook his head. “Rory, I…I’ve watched you since you were nine. And there’s something about you that has always drawn me to you. The older you got, the more I felt for you. And these past few weeks, finally being able to be close to you – well, I’ve never wanted anything so bad. I’ve spent the last twenty years caring about you. And over the past few weeks, I’ve fallen…in…to…a lot of heavier feelings for you,” he finished awkwardly.

I looked at him, skeptically. “Heavier feelings?”

He grabbed my face in his hands. “Those three words that I am not allowed to say to you are exactly what I want to say to you. Don’t think about it. Just feel.”

I closed my eyes and opened myself up to him like Marco had told me. Suddenly, I was rushed with warmth. I saw visions of myself at different stages of my life. All tinged with caring and joy. His feelings wrapped around me and filled up the places in me that had been so empty for so long. When a vision of me crying flashed before my eyes, I felt pain and the frustration at not being able to help. He loved me. He really and truly loved me.

My eyes flew open and I smiled. His face that had just been creased with worry, melted into a smile. Gently, Jude lowered his lips to mine. His kiss held all the love he had and I returned it with just as much ferocity.

Slowly, Jude pulled away. “There are some things I need to tell you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Is anyone coming to attack us right now?”

Jude pulled back surprised. “No.”

“Then keep kissing me. Not enough orgasms yet. We can worry about the rest later.”

We awoke again two hours later to a huge crash. Jude jumped out of bed and grabbed his dagger, ready to face whatever was coming at us. I, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to face whatever had found us in all of my nakedness. I was struggling into my clothes, while still trying to maintain a deathly grip on a lamp – the only weapon handy, when Marco stumbled into the room.

His eyes were wild with panic. Something must have been going on because he didn’t even make a joke about our nakedness.

“Tanaka,” was the first word out of his mouth. He looked to Jude. “They’ve got him.”

I looked between the two men. Jude seemed to understand. He nodded and quickly started dressing.

“Who has him?” I asked, throwing a tank top over myself, trying not to wince at the pain of tearing.

“Evertos,” Willa answered, coming into the room.

Jerrick soon followed. At least we were dressed, though by Willa’s raised eyebrows, she had an idea what had happened. “We think that they are trying to get information out of him.” Jerrick told us and then nodded at me. “Specifically, where you are.”

I put the lamp back on the bedside table and huffed, “Can’t they just smell me or sense my energy?”

Willa shook her head. “Not down here. Remember the enchantments.”

“Then how did they almost get into the other safe house?” I asked. This was all getting a little too confusing and overwhelming. At this point it almost seemed easier to just hand myself over and save everyone the trouble.

Something burned in my gut and when I looked at Jude, I realized it was his anger. “Don’t you dare think like that.”

I shook my head, backing intentionally away from his rage-filled eyes. “I won’t. I just…I won’t.”

Willa bounced to my side and took my hand, sending Jude a glare. “The last time they were holding onto Jerrick and we weren’t sure if they would have been able to pass through the enchantments that way. Better safe than sorry, you know?”

“Sure,” I told her, still focused on Jude. He shook his head, as if he was trying to rid himself of his anger. I opened myself up to him and found it wasn’t as much anger. He was afraid. Afraid to lose me.

“It’s not going to happen,” I whispered to him.

He gave me a faint, sad smile. “But it will. No matter what happens it will.”

“What are we going to do?” Marco asked.

“Jude and I will go bust him out!” Willa shouted, ready to charge off in Tanaka’s defense.

Jude shook his head. “That’s exactly what they’re expecting. By now they’ve heard what happened with Rory and the angelus. They’re hoping if they get enough of us, she’ll just come in and bargain for us. In the mean time, they’ll torture Tanaka for our whereabouts.”

“Torture?” I asked. Oh wait, Hell – torture was their thing. Crap. That wasn’t good. I wasn’t so much worried about Tanaka giving me up. I wouldn’t blame if he did, but if I know Tanaka he was having fun screwing with the evertos. Not that I wanted him to do that for me. “Then what should we do? We can’t leave him down there!”

“We won’t leave him,” Jude snapped. He started pacing, an annoying thing he does when thinking or angry or upset or….well, it seems he does it a lot. “We just need to figure out a way to sneak in there without them noticing us. They’ll be monitoring the whole place waiting for us, you know that Willa. It won’t do anyone any good if we get caught.”

She nodded. “We just need a diversion. What about some of the others?” she asked. “Could we contact some of the other groups and get a whole bunch of us down there. They’re expecting you and I, Jude, they wouldn’t expect fifty of us.”

He shook his head and continued to pace. “We don’t have time to hunt everyone down and contact them.”

“I knew I should have made everyone communicator necklaces,” Willa sighed. Then she looked at Marco who was ready to fall apart. “But I’ll worry about that later.”

“We need another kind of diversion,” Jude commented, mostly to himself. “Something big, that they wouldn’t expect.”

“If only Marco and I could go down there too,” he smiled. “They would not expect us.”

Jude smiled back. “No, they wouldn’t. I just don’t see how you would get in. You’re both angelus.”

And then it hit me. They needed someone with the ability to travel to Hell and would cause a huge distraction just by their mere presence. That had me written all over it.

“I’ll go!” I announced.

Every eye in the room swiveled in my direction. I tried to smile bravely and really get myself behind the idea. I know I was convincing them to give me to the enemy on a platter.

“I can get there. I mean, I’ve never actually tried willingly but I’ve gone there before and I think if I focused before bed or meditating I could get there and I would most definitely cause a huge commotion and while they’re chasing me all over Hell you guys can get Tanaka and then I’ll project myself back and it’s the perfect solution,” I finished out of breath.

“No.” That, of course, came from Jude who I knew would be against the idea.

“I’m sorry, Marco,” Willa looked apologetically at him. “But we can’t risk Rory.”

He nodded, sadly. “I know and I wouldn’t ask her to.”

“You’re not asking me. I’m volunteering. You know this will work,” I told them.

“And what if you get caught?” Jerrick asked me. “They probably have cages like the angelus and…we don’t know how long it would take us to rescue you.”

“I won’t get caught.”

Jude sighed. “You’ve been caught almost every time you’ve been with angelus or everto. You will get caught.”

I turned to Willa. “Then you have to find Tanaka before I do.”

“And how are you going to get back?” Jude asked. “You aren’t exactly the best at waking yourself up when you project.”

“I know,” I nodded. “That’s why you’re going to stay behind and make sure you wake me up.”

He came over and gripped my shoulders. “And what if I can’t this time?”

I smiled and winked at him. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“This is serious!”Jude argued, shaking my shoulders. “You can’t willingly hand yourself over to the evertos and then just rely on the fact that I’ll be able to wake you up. It’s been harder and harder every time.”

I smiled at him. “I have faith in you.”

His face fell. “Well, I don’t.”

“Well, you better start,” I told him. “Because this is the best plan we have so far and Tanaka is not going to be tortured because of me.” Jude looked like he was about to argue but I put my finger over his lips. Swiftly, I replaced my finger with my lips. Jude hung his head, defeated. When I looked over at Willa her eyes were wide with surprise. “What?”

“No one ever wins an argument with Jude. He’s too hardheaded.”

“Well, I just did. Let’s figure out a plan.”

“It’s too dangerous,” Marco spoke up, his voice laced with defeat. “We can’t risk you and everything that we’ve worked for.”

Jude threw his hand up in the air. “Someone is seeing reason. It’s not just about you or Tanaka, Rory.”

I looked between Jude and Marco. “You’re right it’s not just about us. But the thing is – so what? So what if I die down there? I’m going to die soon anyway…sooner than we all thought. So? The decision is coming. Let’s save Tanaka the pain of torture and Marco the heartache and be done with it.”

“That, I’m not agreeing with,” Willa piped up. “I’m all for saving Tanaka’s sorry ass, but I’m not for handing you over to the enemy, Rory. We go in with a solid plan. You create the diversion, I get Tanaka out, and Jude gets your ass out of there – even if it means gettin’ all sexy with you to do it. Actually, I hope it includes gettin’ all sexy with you.”

I shook my head at Willa’s waggling eyebrows. “Either way, it’s happening. I’m tired of people getting hurt for me when it’s inevitable that I’m going to turn into one of them soon.”

“That is not going to happen!” Jude roared, picking up his pacing again. “We will figure out a way to fix this.”

I marched over and planted myself in front of him, blocking his path. “Well, we haven’t yet. I’m dying, Jude. I can feel it. I’m getting weaker, my body is tearing apart, and the intense need to be anywhere but on earth is driving me insane.”

“What?” They all looked at me like I had grown an extra head.

“The need to be anywhere but on earth, Rory? You need to explain that,” Jerrick told me. He had been relatively quiet up until this point and now I could see the fear in his eyes. Super.

I shrugged. “I just feel…itchy, uncomfortable in my own skin. I need to get out and my mind keeps wandering to what I’ve seen of heaven and hell. It’s pulling me…both of them,” I sighed. “I can’t explain it, but I just need to be there.”

“Angel’s lightning Rory! Why in the hell would we send you back to one of those places?” Jude roared again.

Willa looked between all of us. “Is this why you can project yourself into both places?”

I shook my head helplessly. They were the centuries old celestial beings. I was just a mere human who landed herself into a heap of trouble. I didn’t know anything.

“No,” Jude said quietly. “I don’t know why she can project herself. She shouldn’t be able to. If all certus were able to project themselves than both the evertos and angelus would be working to get them to do it all the time. Both are just as confused as we are.” He took a breath and looked at me. “This is happening because she hasn’t decided. There have been a few certus who haven’t made the decisions for a long time. She’s right…the tearing…this need to be somewhere else…it means the end is near.”

My shoulders slumped and I tried to keep the tears from welling in my eyes. Never let them see you cry. Never let them see you –

“Stop, Rory.” Jude could feel me fighting the tears. Of course, he could. Nothing was sacred anymore.

“Don’t Jude. Just don’t.” I straightened my shoulders and looked at all of them. “If I’m going out, I’m going out strong. That means getting Tanaka back. If I become a demon in the process...well, just hope I don’t screw up the world and hope that I turn out like the rest of you.”

“You can’t do this, Rory,” Marco told me sadly. “I want nothing more than for you to bring Tanaka back to me, but we can’t just hand you over.”

Willa looked at all of us. “So she should just wait around to die instead?”

My friends all stood around watching each other warily. Willa was standing with me, the two of us united against Marco and Jude’s wishes. Jerrick watched us all calmly with his usual mellow attitude. I turned to him.

“It’s tied, two-to-two,” I told Jerrick. “What’s your vote?”

Jerrick smiled sadly at me. “I don’t have a vote. You are the certus and what you do has always been your decision. If you choose to try and save Tanaka, you know you could easily die down there and become a demon – starting a war that will kill a lot of innocent humans. If you stay here, Tanaka may not return the same, you might figure out a way out of this mess…or you might not. Whatever you choose, it is your decision.”

I blew the hair off my face. “So you’re going with Switzerland? Great. No, help.”

Jerrick smiled wider at my mini diatribe. “Whether we like it or not, the decision has always been yours.”

I nodded. “Good. Then I’m going down there.”

“Over my dead body!” Jude argued.

I couldn’t help it. I giggled. I was worried and not sure if I was making the right decision. I was a bit hysterical at the moment and the giggle escaped. Then it turned into full blown laughter.

“What in Satan’s gates is so funny?” Jude roared once again. He really needed to get over that.

I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face. “I am…going…over your….dead body,” I cackled. “Because…you’re already…dead.” Then I collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter.

Jude crossed his arms and didn’t find the same humor that I did in the situation. “You’re not going.” His voice was authoritative, well, bossy if you asked me. It immediately stopped my laughter. I stood up and faced Jude, my face scant inches from his.

“You. Are. Not. The. Boss. Of. Me.” I told him emphatically. “I will make my own decisions and I’m going! You can’t keep me awake forever.”

“Angel’s lightning, I can try!” he argued.

I let out an infuriated growl and the stomped past him. I grabbed Willa and Jerrick by the hands and marched out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Jude asked. “We aren’t done discussing this.”

“I am,” I told him, shouting across the living room. When I got to Willa and Jerrick’s room, I pulled the key out of the lock and shut the door.

“No! No, no, no, no!” Jude shouted and I could hear his bare feet slapping against the concrete floor. I turned the lock, just as Jude started pounding on the door. Luckily, the doors were built to keep celestial beings out. He pounded furiously on the door. “You can’t do this! I will find you there!”

“No, you won’t. I need you here to wake me up!” I shouted to him and then turned to Willa and Jerrick. “Okay, Willa you need to get down there and try to stay under the radar. I’m going to get myself down there and cause a distraction. Hopefully, you’ll have found Tanaka and a way to break him free by then.”

Jerrick looked at me. “What do you want me to do? I can’t get down there.”

I nodded and handed him the key to the door. “When it looks like I need to get out of there, let Jude in.”

“How will I know?”

I smiled ruefully. “Trust me, you’ll know.”

“Okay.” He didn’t look okay, but he was sticking with the theory that it was my decision to make. I grabbed a blanket and a pillow off the bed and made my way into the closet. Willa stopped me on my way in with a hand on my shoulder and a curious glance. “Trust me on this,” I told her.

She nodded and then embraced me. “Be careful,” she instructed me. “And if it looks like trouble, get yourself out of there.”

I hugged her back. “The same goes for you.”

When I released her, Jerrick hugged me. “See you soon,” he whispered, his Jamaican accent comforting me.

I could hear Willa and Jerrick murmuring their goodbyes as I made my way into the closet. I lay the pillow on the ground and folded the blanket to make a sleeping bag out of it. When I snuggled into my makeshift bed, I heard one last kiss from the couple on the other side of the door. There was a whooshing sound and I knew that Willa was gone. The sliding doors to the closet swayed on their track as Jerrick sat against them. I could see his dark hand outside the twelve inch opening I had left.

“I’ll be right out here when you need me,” Jerrick assured me.

“Thanks.” I took a deep breath. I needed focus.

Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth I tried to calm myself. Jude’s knocking was still insistent, but it was beating a rhythm I matched my breath to. Three hits breathing in, three hots breathing out. In my mind, I pictured Hell as I remembered it. Dark, rocky walls and ledges built up in my head. Humans with black and red spiny wings walked toward the center of a large, cavernous room. Last time they had robes on, but I didn’t let that bother me. Fires were lit all around the edges and giant bonfire was also in the center of the cavern.

I pictured the large man I had seen the first time, emerging from the fire. Now I knew him to be Appollyon. He didn’t look any less intimidating this time around. His large, muscled body emerged from the fire and his olive skin was glistening with sweat. Instead of a loincloth, he was wearing black cargo pants. I barely had time to find it curious that he was wearing pants. Why would the head of Hell need pants? Suddenly, Appollyon looked up at me.

His black eyes burned into mine even though hundreds of feet separated us. And that’s when I realized.

I wasn’t imagining it anymore. I had projected myself to Hell and the way that the evertos were looking at me, I was screwed.