Celestials

“He won’t die,” Marco comforted me. “He’s immortal.”

“With the amount of angels that are after him, he won’t be returning to earth any time soon,” I told them. That was the feeling I got anyway. He was freaking out because he was leaving me unprotected. “We have to help him.”

Tanaka laid a gentle hand on my shoulder when I tried to stand. “You won’t be doing anything.” I went to argue but he cut me off. “No. First, you are so weak you would hold us back rather than help.”

“And second,” Jerrick added, “Jude would kill us himself if we let you get hurt.”

Tanaka looked at all of them. “I’ll stay with Rory. Marco, I’m going to try and guide her feelings of Jude’s location to you. Look out for them.”

Marco nodded as if Tanaka’s statement made any sense. Willa clapped her hands together and a fireball appeared between them. She smiled confidently at me.

“Don’t worry. We’ll bring him back.” She looked to Jerrick who was smiling proudly at her. “This is gonna be fun.”

“Please be careful,” I begged. “There are a lot of them.”

Marco leaned down and looked me in the eye. “Where is he?”

I looked helplessly at him. “There were a lot of lights and signs with Japanese words. Rooftops - angels were hiding on.”

“Focus. Tell me what you see,” he instructed.

I closed my eyes again, searching out Jude’s familiar feeling. This time when the images flashed passed I tried to pay attention.

“A big blue fish with gold tipped scales,” I told Marco. “It has big red, smiling lips. Long alleyway to the side of it. Fear. Panic. He’s not going to make it easy on them.” I couldn’t help the note of pride that entered my voice or the small smile that tipped my lips on that one. “Fire escapes. There’s one decorated with bright colored lanterns, one with parasols all over it. They’re coming. They’re closing in. This is it. This is the end. He’ll be sent back to the worst place, to torture. He won’t let them get me.”

My fear filled eyes popped open. God, he was desolate. He was terrified for me. Terrified he couldn’t protect me. Worried about spending time where he got tortured. Where was that place? Is that what happened when his human body regenerated?

Marco put a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll find him. We’ll get him back.” He planted a swift kiss on my forehead and a deeper one on Tanaka’s lips. “Be safe.”

“Watch yourselves,” Tanaka returned.

Willa and Jerrick waved and the three of them ran out the door. Tanaka grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “They’ll be okay.”

I nodded but I wasn’t so sure. Now that I had opened myself to Jude, his emotions were flowing inside of me. His fear bundled in the pit of my stomach. More worrisome than that though, was his utter acceptance of the torture he would go through. He didn’t have a thought in his head about himself. All of his fear was for me.

“Keep focusing on Jude. When you get ideas about where he is, I want you to send them to Marco,” Tanaka told me.

“What do you mean send them to him?” I was pretty sure he couldn’t read my mind.

Tanaka sighed. “Marco can see people’s emotions in colors around their body. But he has gotten to the point where I can send my emotions to him when we aren’t near each other. He’s able to interpret them so he can tell what I mean. It’s almost like sending him an email but instead of the internet, we’re using colored energy.”

I tipped my head up thoughtfully. “So if I think of the images Jude sends me, I can send them to Marco?”

“That’s what we’re hoping,” Tanaka told me. Then he looked at me sheepishly. “We’ve never actually tried it with anyone other than him and I. But you’re really strong.”

“Right.” I closed my eyes.

So many angels. Closing in. The parasol balcony. The lanterns. Between the buildings there was the outline of another building in the skyline.

I held onto that image and then imagined Marco. In my mind, I imagined that image floating from me to Marco. I couldn’t tell whether he got it or not, so I just kept sending things I saw.

Sweat poured down my face and rolled down my back, but I didn’t stop. I would search out Jude and take in whatever I received. Then I would send that to Marco. I didn’t know if any of it was working. The only thing I knew is that Jude grew closer and closer to death…or his version of death. He was fearful and pissed. Murderously pissed. It hit me with a force in my gut. My warm body heated up even more.

A water bottle was pressed to my lips.

“Drink,” Tanaka’s voice ordered me. My eyes were still closed shut, living in Jude’s emotions and sending them to Marco. “You’re going to dehydrate.”

The cool liquid slipped down my throat. They were catching up to Jude. He couldn’t hide in the alley any more. Running. Jumping a fence. Crowds. Crowds of people. Big, open, concrete space but filled with people. Like Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

I breathed easier. They weren’t supposed to show themselves in front of humans. Crowds were safe. Mentally, I sent this image to Marco.

Then I saw him…in my mind. Jude saw him. Marco running toward him. A lightning bolt. People confused. Marco down. No! Marco down. Rushing.

Dark eyes filled with pain. Olive skin stretched taunt with hurt. Marco bleeding from behind.

Come back, I tried to send to Marco. Come back! Then I focused on Jude. Send him back, I chanted to Jude. Send him back.

I could feel Jude’s confusion. He didn’t know where the voice came from. But he could hear me!

Send him back, Jude. Send Marco back.

Willa and Jerrick. Stopping in horror. Oh god, the wound must be bad. Come back, Marco. Come back.

Marco stared right at Jude’s face. I could see him do it.

“Rory,” Marco whispered, his voice hoarse with pain. I could feel Jude’s realization that I was the voice in his head. Marco spoke again. “Coming.”

My eyes flew open and I spun on Tanaka so quickly, he jumped.

“Marco’s hurt. Vanishing back here. Lightning bolt,” I told him, my speech pattern following the quick flow of images in my head.

Tanaka jumped up and looked helplessly around. I got up a little slower, my body coiled and ready for action. We didn’t have to wait long. A moment later, Marco fell into the middle of the room.

His back was bloody, smoking, and covered in purple ooze. Marco could barely move.

“Get him to the blankets,” I instructed Tanaka.

“No!” Marco yelled.

Tanaka took tentative steps toward his partner but made no move to help. I looked between Marco and Tanaka. “What?”

“The poison,” Marco gurgled.

“I can’t touch it,” Tanaka explained, gently touching a clean part of Marco’s head. “It will eat through demon’s skin if we touch it. If it was a fireball, I could help more but not much. We are unable to help our fallen comrades in battle.”

“Well that’s stupid,” I told him. “Can you help me get Marco to the blankets? I’ll touch it.”

“Can you?” Tanaka asked.

I shrugged. “I helped Jude with a lightning bolt attack and I was fine.”

“She survived…” Marco started but couldn’t finish. I think he meant the attacks at Sandy and Jim’s.

Tanaka’s eyes filled with pain. “He’s fading.”

“Then help me move him and get something to catch the blood,” I ordered.

Tanaka was able to grab Marco’s hands which were the only clean part on him. He pulled him up, while I put my body weight underneath of Marco. While Marco shuffled his feet, I bore his weight and Tanaka tried to ease the heaviness by holding his arms up. We awkwardly got Marco to the blankets and laid him on his stomach.

I got to work on ripping off his shirt, while Tanaka found someone’s t-shirts to mop the blood up with. His shirt was removed easily seeing as it was mostly destroyed. However, Marco healed just as fast as Jude. When Tanaka dropped the shirts at my feet, I looked up at him.

“I need something to reopen the wound with. Pocket knife, razor blade – whatever you can find,” I ordered. Tanaka nodded and scurried off.

Grabbing one of the t-shirts I mopped his back. The purple ooze dried and hardened on the cloth, creating smoke. Once the initial blood and ooze was cleaned off, I could see Marco’s whole back bubbled with poison underneath the skin.

“Angel’s lightning,” Tanaka whispered, staring at Marco’s back. Tears shined in his eyes as he handed me a pocket knife.

“Don’t look,” I told him. “It’s going to be painful.”

Tanaka grabbed Marco’s hand but sat facing away from me. With a deep breath, I took the penknife in hand and cut into the biggest of Marco’s injuries. He let out a scream but was so delirious with fever, I doubt he even knew he did it.

Purple goo oozed out and I caught it in one of the shirts. When it was mostly clear, I sighed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to Marco, squeezing the rest of the ooze out.

I repeated this procedure over and over on the dozen spots covering Marco’s back. My body was drenched in sweat so badly that the bandages Jude had wrapped me in were all falling off. I didn’t care. Marco wasn’t going to die or disappear to regenerate on my watch. Although no one talked about how long a body regenerated, I got the feeling it was a long time. Long enough for Tanaka to be bereft without him.

I don’t know how long I worked. It seemed like hours. Throughout the whole procedure Tanaka sat patiently by Marco’s side holding his hand and whispering encouragement. Only once was I interrupted. A vision of Marco getting hit by the lightning bolt flashed through my brain. I could feel the question mark Jude attached to it. Mentally, I sent him back what I was doing, with as much hope as I could muster.

Finally, his back was clean. There was only a small spot on his arm and one on his leg that needed work. I drained them quickly and sat back. Marco’s breathing fell deep and sound.

“Is he asleep?” I asked Tanaka.

Gently, he stroked Marco’s cheek. “Yes.”

I nodded, not wanting to ask the question, but knowing I had to. “Will he be okay?”

Tanaka looked at me, tears in his eyes. “I think so. Thank you.”

I smiled tiredly at him. “Thank you for being here.”

Closing my eyes, I searched for Jude. Since I started working on Marco, I hadn’t felt his emotions as much. I didn’t know if I was blocking them out or if he was okay. I dug around, picturing Jude and him giving me the gift again. Nothing. I dug deeper, focusing harder, and pictured Jude again. Nothing.

“Tanaka?” I asked my eyes still closed. “I can’t find him.”

“You’re exhausted, Rory. You don’t have the energy to find him,” he easily explained.

I shook my head, tears threatening. I was not going to freak out. I was not going to get emotional. I was not going to get upset that I couldn’t find a liar that I couldn’t trust. Never let them see you cry.

“He’s not there. I can’t feel anything. He’s gone,” I whispered. Dammit, Rory, never let them see you cry.

Tanaka put a hand under my chin and didn’t say anything until I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Jude can take care of himself. If you can’t find him, it’s because he’s out of range or doesn’t want to be found. He’s okay.”

I nodded. “Then what do we do?”

“We take care of Marco. We get you some rest and we wait for them to come back,” he told me sternly.

I nodded again. I couldn’t ask what we would do if they didn’t come back.

Fire in the garbage can flashed into my head. Blankets and rags used to mop up blood were thrown in.

I looked to Tanaka. “We need to burn the blankets and anything that has blood on it. I don’t know why.”

Tanaka nodded, jumping up to grab the metal garbage can. “They must be coming. It’s easier to sense people if you have something with their blood on it. Your blood is everywhere.”

I started grabbing the rags Jude had used to clean me up and throwing them in the trash can. Tanaka gently moved Marco to the floor and grabbed all the blankets, tossing them in the can. Then he rifled through his pack until he found lighter fluid and a lighter.

I threw him a quizzical look. “You always carry lighter fluid on the run?”

“You cannot even imagine the amount of times we have had to do things like this,” he told me, nodding toward the garbage can. He dragged the can over near one of the tiny basement windows, which he proceeded to push open. Splashing the blankets with lighter fluid, he held the lighter to it. In a minute the can was engulfed in flames. “Now what?”

I shrugged and sent a mental question mark to Jude. Immediately, the date October 16, 1998 flashed through my mind, with a pink and green polka-dot wall.

The smoke was starting to get thick. I put on my pack, Jude’s pack, and someone else’s. “October 16, 1998 with a pink and green polka-dot wall mean anything to you?”

Tanaka laughed and pulled on his own pack and the remaining two. “He’s smart.” When I raised an eyebrow he continued. “He’s afraid it’s either not you or someone is able to intercept your signal. He’s sending code only I would know.”

“So you know where they are?” I asked.

“Yes and it explains why you couldn’t reach Jude before.” Tanaka didn’t explain further. I wanted to ask but the smoke was starting to get heavy and I wasn’t interested in being around all this electricity if the sprinkler system went on.

Wounds running with brown and purple ooze slipped into my head. There was an urgent feeling in my body.

“We need to hurry. Some of them are hurt. Take Marco first,” I ordered Tanaka.

Tanaka moved the swoop of hair off his face. I noticed he did that when he was nervous or thinking hard. He had done it so many times today the thing was practically standing up on it’s own. “I should take you. We need to protect you.”

I shook my head. “Marco is unconscious and hurt. I can protect myself until you get back. Go,” I urged him.

It sounded like someone was upstairs but I was hoping Tanaka didn’t notice. He would never take Marco first and the poor guy was defenseless. Tanaka awkwardly gathered Marco in his arms. He had three packs and dead weight.

“Be careful,” he told me.

I smiled at him. “Take care of him.” Tanaka smiled and disappeared.

A metal scraping sound caught my attention. I grabbed the first thing I could get my hand on. It was a box of small metal boxes that fit nicely in my hand. They weren’t baseballs or rocks. They weren’t even that heavy – but they would have to do. The corners were sharp, maybe they would slowly bleed to death. I hid behind one of the metal cabinets and waited, praying Tanaka didn’t show up and get hurt.

The metal door screeched open. Uriel and five other angels walked in. The arrogance in their walk alerted me to the fact that they knew I was here and they were pretty confident they were going to get me.

“There’s no use hiding,” Uriel told me. “It’s going to end badly for you whether you hide or not.”

There goes the theory that angels were supposed to be all warmth and light. Cautiously, I adjusted the packs that encumbered my body. It was going to be hard to throw with all of them, but I just needed to hold them off until Tanaka got back.

“Her energy is so strong,” one of the girls whined. I could only see a pale arm from behind the cabinet. “Micaela must make her ours.”

“She’s here and she’s alone,” Uriel told her, his voice delighted and surprised.

The group walked around so I could see them. They hadn’t quite caught sight of me yet. It was now or never. Uriel was surrounded by two men and two women, all of them pale with light eyes. Their hair was either a white blond or a very washed out strawberry blond. They were creepy.

Grabbing one of the small metal boxes, I threw it as hard as I could at one of the girls. It hit her in the head but she looked more confused than hurt.

Uriel chuckled. “That worked once Rory, but it won’t work again.” He spun and threw a lightning bolt at me.

I dove out of the way, the packs cushioning my fall. I tried to wrestle out of them but it wasn’t working. Instead I jumped up, swaying slightly and grabbed anything lying around the room. Luckily, it was a basement where people didn’t clean up. Tools were scattered on random surfaces and there were strange metal contraptions. I picked up whatever my hand came in contact with and threw them at the five angels.

I had to dodge behind the metal boxes that housed whatever electrical things they housed. The whole time I was choking on the smoke. Where the hell was Tanaka? He should have been here by now. I coughed and threw a wrench. It hit one of the guys in the eye. Quickly, I ducked behind an electrical unit coughing.

I wasn’t going to last much longer. A lightning bolt singed the edge of the t-shirt I was wearing. Dear God, I was still wearing what I could only assume was Jude’s oversized t-shirt and no pants. Well, now it was a t-shirt with burn marks on it. I stock piled an arsenal of tools in my left hand. Peering out from behind the metal box, I started throwing.

Something grabbed my ankle but I didn’t have time to register anything when the room started spinning. The world colored around me, flashes of light and color and darkness. When my feet connected solidly with the floor, my arm released and threw the screwdriver that was still in my hand.

“Satan’s gates!” Willa yelled as she ducked. The screwdriver hit the pink and green polka-dot wall behind her.

I wobbled and stared between her and the dark hand on my ankle. Jerrick. The hand released me and I untangled myself from the packs. Keeping my eyes open during vanishing had been a very bad idea.

Willa saw the panic on my face. “That way,” she said pointing towards a door.

I ran into the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. After a moment I swigged my mouth out with water. Tempted sorely to look in the mirror, I stumbled out of the room instead. There was a good chance I would be completely mortified by what I saw.

“You okay?” Tanaka asked, his face pale.

I nodded. “Opened my eyes during vanishing. Bad idea.” Then I really noticed how bad he looked. “What’s wrong?”

Tanaka pushed his swoosh up again. “Jude took care of Willa and Jerrick’s wounds. I have no idea how he managed that. But he’s pretty bad. You’re the only one who can help.”

I was dead on my feet, so disgustingly dirty, and covered in nine kinds of grime. Not to mention wearing a singed t-shirt and no pants.

“Where is he?” I asked.

Tanaka motioned for me to follow him through the common area we had landed in, to a bedroom. Everything in the place was functional but not decorative. It was like a cabin in the woods but all the walls were made of concrete and steel. Where the hell were we?

Jude lay in the middle of a queen sized bed. His face matched the pallid green color of the utilitarian quilt. His arms, legs, and torso were covered in bumps I recognized as poisonous lightning bolt and fireball wounds. They looked close to bursting and turning black. That didn’t look good.

“Shit,” I said.

“Rory.” Jude attempted a smile but it turned into a painful grimace.

“Shhh,” I told him. “Don’t move or talk. I’m gonna fix you right up.” I tried channeling any overly cheerful nurse that I had ever encountered. Unfortunately for me, I just sounded crazed.

“There’s fresh towels and a razor blade,” Tanaka let me know, pointing next to the bed.

I nodded. “Go sit with Marco. Get Willa and Jerrick to come in here and hold his hands. This is going to be painful.”

Looking Jude over, I couldn’t tell where the worst of it was. So I decided to start with the top. I cut him out of his t-shirt which was pretty much rags hanging lamely off his frame. Now it was time to wrestle his pants off. Don’t think about how embarrassing, and slightly erotic, this is Rory. The man could die.

I swallowed my embarrassment and started with the button on his pants. Trying not to touch anything too personal, I moved his zipper down. Jude was watching me with fever hazed eyes, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Just can’t keep your hands off him, can you, Rory?” Willa nudged me with an elbow.

I turned to give her a very angry and irritable piece of my mind when I saw her wink. She was just trying to alleviate some of the tension.

“Let us help,” Jerrick chimed in, patting me gently on the back.

Jerrick lifted Jude’s torso as Willa and I wrestled Jude’s jeans down his leg. He moaned in pain the whole time. My heart just about ripped apart. Mad at him or not, no creature should ever make a noise like that.

“It’s okay, Lancelot, we’ll fix you right up,” I comforted quietly. For some decency, I left his boxers on. To Willa and Jerrick, I barked, “Hold his hands and make sure he doesn’t move. Oh and make sure to stay away from the poison.”

“Yes, Mom,” Willa smiled at me.

Slowly, I started on the first wound with the razor blade. Smoke and the smell of decaying flesh seeped from the wound along with brown ooze. I stuck my nose into my shirt, trying not to gag. God, did the smell mean it was too late. It didn’t smell like this the last time. Instead of thinking too hard about it, I mopped the ooze and squeezed every last drop out.

I continued on to the rest of the wounds. My mind was focused on the job at hand. If I thought about anything else, I would fall apart. Even Jude’s painful moaning had to be pushed aside so I didn’t think about how badly he was hurting. The entire time I mumbled comforting platitudes. I wasn’t sure who it was meant to comfort though, him or me.

Finally, after two hours all of the wounds were cleaned. Tanaka had gotten some first aid supplies, so we were able to cover all of Jude’s wounds. He had already covered Marco’s. By the time that was done, my eyes were barely open.

“Go to sleep, Rory,” Tanaka told me.

I shook my head like a two-year-old not getting her way. “No. Shower,” I pouted. I had seen one when I was puking my guts out in the bathroom.

Tanaka nodded. “Willa help Rory.”

Willa walked slowly behind my shuffling form. She helped me strip out of my t-shirt. My body was so tired she actually washed and conditioned my hair for me too. When I got out, she sat me on the toilet and looked around.

“Let me find your stuff.”

A moment later she returned with my toiletry bag, a pair of underwear and another one of Jude’s shirts. I threw on deodorant and the clothes. Gently, she brushed my hair and then with an arm wrapped around my shoulder, escorted me back to the bed.

I lay down beside an unconscious Jude, so grateful for the softness of the mattress after days on the concrete floor. All of the angels and demons could have been sleeping in the bed with me and I wouldn’t have cared at that moment.

“Jerrick and I are in the room across the living room and Marco and Tanaka are in the one next to that. Just holler if you need something,” she told me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled already half asleep. The outdoorsy ocean smell of Jude’s shirt comforting me almost as much as his arms would have.

When my eyes fluttered open I was aware of two things. There was someone playing soothingly with my hair and that I was face to face with Santa Clause. I blinked a couple times. Nope. His jolly little face was still staring at me.

I rubbed my eyes and moved my head back to get a better view. Then I realized that it wasn’t just Santa, but many Santas dotting a pair of boxer shorts. And a long, sculpted, manly leg was poking out from the leg of the boxers.

“Hey,” a soft voice said above my head.

Craning my head up, I realized Jude was sitting in bed and leaning against the headboard. With my head on a pillow, it put me face-to-face with his thigh – his Santa Clause covered thigh. I leaned back slightly to get a better view of Jude. I didn’t want to move to far because the hand running through my hair felt too nice.

“How do you feel?” I asked, checking his eyes for signs of a fever. His wounds were already uncovered and halfway healed.

He smiled. “Good. Back to normal mostly. How do you feel?”

Taking general inventory, I was a little sore but good. “I feel well rested. That hasn’t happened in a while.”

Jude shrugged, his voice still low. Both of us were talking quietly, creating an air of intimacy. “You slept for over twenty-four hours.”

“I did?” Never in my life had I slept that long. Not even when I was prescribed every kind of anti-depressant imaginable.

Jude rubbed my hair lightly. “You needed it. Your body worked harder than it should have.”

My eyes widened. “How’s Marco? He’s okay right?”

Jude gave me a brief smile. “He’s fine. Tanaka and him are worrying about each other like an old married couple.”

I snuggled back down into the covers. “Good.”

We sat there quietly for a while, Jude rubbing my hair and me enjoying it. I could feel he wanted to ask something, so I just waited him out until he wanted to talk about it.

“How did you do it?” he asked. When I threw him a ‘what the hell are you talking about’ look, he continued. “Get inside my head.”

“The same way you get in mine, I guess. Marco told me you were sending out your emotions to me and that I just needed to accept them. So I did.” I couldn’t explain all the whys and hows. It’s just how it happened.

“But it’s never happened before,” he told me.

I sat up and faced him, my legs tucked beneath me. “Isn’t it the super protector thing? Remember the part where you lied about drinking my blood.”

Jude ignored my pointed comment and shook his head. “That allows me to feel all of your feelings, but it’s never been reciprocated. It’s…strange.”

“Now you know why I felt so violated,” I huffed.

“Yeah.” Gently, he took my hand. “I’m sorry about…everything. I know there are things you should know. There are probably a lot of things I should tell you. I sometimes take for granted the things I know and don’t realize others don’t. I don’t even know why you saved me.”

I squeezed his hand. “Because like it or not, trusting each other or not, we’re in this together. And you would have done the same for me.”

“Yes, but I-“ he cut himself off and took a breath. “But it’s my job, it’s not yours.”

I smiled at him. “Seeing as I’m the only one who can touch oozing wounds, it seems it is now my job too, Lancelot.” His lips lifted into a smile. “Here’s the thing I don’t understand, how come you can’t touch the ooze to clean out other people’s wounds. You cleaned out all of mine.”

He shrugged. “Protector bond. That’s why I asked before I did it. I don’t know the exact science behind it, but in essence, I’m your protector so doing that doesn’t hurt me.”

“Strange.”

“Yeah.”

“This whole thing is really strange.” I muttered.

“Yeah.” His hand reached up and lightly caressed my cheek. It took all I had not to lean into it. “I’m really glad you’re okay. I…you scared me.”

I put my hand over his and lightly squeezed. “You scared me too. Let’s not do that again.”

He smiled sadly. “Yeah.” Then he looked out when voices were heard from the other room. “Are you hungry? The others will be happy to see you’re awake.”

I nodded. “I’m starving. I’m just going to throw on something decent.” I went to get out of bed but was stopped by Jude’s hand holding onto my wrist. Turning I looked at him quizzically.

His eyes just searched me. I felt like they were digging deep in my soul and trying to communicate things to me I didn’t understand. He scanned over my entire body and then ended up at my eyes again. Finally, his shoulders sagged with relief. “It’s good to see you awake.” His voice was thick.

I nodded. “Thanks.” I grabbed my pack and headed into the bathroom.

What was that all about? We had come to an understanding this morning. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but I know I was no longer mad at him. I guess both of us almost dying changed our perspective on our fight. But what was he looking for when he scanned me. I know he was happy I didn’t die, but there was something else.

I shrugged the thoughts away. Despite being able to get into his head, understanding Jude was something I didn’t think I would ever be able to do. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, brushed my teeth and threw on clean clothes. With my yoga pants and t-shirt, I still felt comfortable but much better dressed.

As I walked out of the bathroom and into the combined living room/kitchen area, I took in my surroundings. Everything was utilitarian. There weren’t any homey touches or decorative flairs. Linens, living room furniture, and dishes didn’t match. The walls were all concrete and steel, painted a muted, flat gray. Where the hell were we?

When I entered the common space Tanaka was sprawled out on the couch drinking coffee and flipping through the pages of a notebook. Marco and Jerrick were at the stove cooking, while Willa and Jude - now in jeans and a t-shirt – sat at the breakfast bar. It was literally a counter that separated the kitchen wall from the rest of the living room and had four different stools pushed up to it. The only real spot of color was the one wall painted with pink and green polka-dots.

“Where are we?” I asked the group. They all looked up surprised. Jude must have neglected to mention I was up.

“She’s awake!” Tanaka beamed. “And she has pants on.”

“I kind of liked looking at her legs all the time,” Willa told me. Then she looked me in the eye. “You have killer legs.”

“Thanks,” I muttered. Why the hell did we need to bring up that everyone here had seen me in god-only-knows how much nakedness?

“How do you feel?” Marco asked.

I smiled. “Good. Starving.”

“Perfect. We’re cooking a feast,” Jerrick chimed in.

Delicious smells of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wafted my way. My stomach grumbled at the smell and I giggled at it. “Sounds fantastic. So we are…?” I asked again.

Tanaka stood up and swept his hand around the room grandly. “At a safe house. We have these little places stashed all over the world. The Regnum knows nothing about them.” He pointed to the wall at his left. “Reinforced steel covered in concrete. Makes it extremely difficult to be found if you’re in one of these.”

I snorted. “I’ve heard that before.”

Tanaka put his arm around me and led me to the breakfast bar. “But this time it’s true.”

“So why didn’t we come here before? And where is here anyway?” There were no windows and nothing is this place’s bare essentials gave me a clue as to where we might be.

“It’s underground,” Jerrick explained, flipping pancakes. “Very hard to get to and only specific people can vanish in or out of here.”

“Magical charms,” Willa chimed in proudly.

“So we didn’t want to come here right away if we didn’t need to,” Jerrick finished.

“Unfortunately, we needed to,” Jude added dryly. Then he looked at me. “It’s about twenty feet below ground on the Eastern shore of Japan. It was the closest safe house.”

I nodded, suddenly feeling a bit claustrophobic. That all ended when Marco slid a plate of food and a cup of coffee in my direction.

“So what’s with the wall?” I asked, moving my head in the direction of the pink and green polka-dots. The guys all turned to Willa, who shrugged.

“It was way too antiseptic in here.”

It probably should have been embarrassing how much I ate, but I didn’t care. The food made me feel so much more human and Jude kept reminding me I ate so much because I had used up so much energy. I let him believe that was why and not that I was an enormous pig. Either way, Marco and Jerrick could stay as long as they wanted as long as they kept the delicious food coming.

When we all finished I looked around. Everyone was scattered around the battered living room seats and bar stools. “So, what do we do now?” I asked, for what I felt like was the billionth time in the past few weeks.

They all glanced uncomfortably at each other and then back at me and then at each other again. Clearly, we had a great plan in the works. Finally, Jude sighed. Apparently, he was nominated to break the bad news.

“We think it best if you and I stay here,” he told me. The tone of his voice was serious and had a note of finality in it. Staying here was fine. But it sounded worse than that.

Then it hit me. “For how long?” They couldn’t force me to stay the reminder of my life in a little underground safe house, could they?

Jude cleared his throat a couple of times, but nothing made it out of his mouth. He looked uncomfortable and finally, Tanaka spoke up. “Until the end, Rory.”

I looked at all of their faces. All held guilt in them mixed with other emotions. However, I wasn’t really seeing them because my vision was starting to go red. Anger built in me. “To hell with staying here!” I shouted, slamming my coffee cup on the table and jumping out of my seat.

“It’s safest,” Marco argued. “Not just for you and the world, but for everyone.”

I sighed. He was right. Of course he was right. I was endangering everyone by thinking of leaving the safe house. I was endangering the world by going outside and potentially letting the angels or demons get me. But I couldn’t stay here.

My breathing started speeding up and my heart started pounded in my chest. I tried to calm myself, but it wasn’t working. Not again. I hadn’t had a panic attack in years. I didn’t even carry around the medicine with me anymore. “No,” I forced out. “No.”

Jude was at my side immediately. Whether it was the protector bond or just seeing the symptoms of my attack, I didn’t know. At this point, I didn’t care. It felt like vices were locking themselves around my lungs, preventing them from functioning.

“Relax,” he told me. Yeah, easier said than done. Tell a bull in a china shop to be careful.

“I c-can’t…” I started.

Jude rubbed my back in a comforting motion. “You can relax.”

I shook my head. “I can’t stay here.” I gulped air, trying to assuage the dizziness that was starting to take over. The rest of my life would be spent in a coffin disguised as an apartment. “Not forever.”

“Angel’s lightning,” Willa exclaimed, pushing Jude aside. “I told you we couldn’t force her to stay down here. It’s like prison.” She took me aside and started mumbling to me while rubbing my back. I don’t know why anyone thought this would make me feel better. “We’re not going to make you stay here. It was just a suggestion, I told them it was a dumb one. You can’t give up your life. I mean you are, but not the rest of your life. That’s really unfair to ask you. We’ll figure it out.”

Her words were comforting me. “I can leave here?” I asked.

She nodded. “Maybe not today. We need to figure out safety precautions, but we’re not going to keep you a prisoner here.” Then she looked over her shoulder at the men. “You guys are asses. She’s already giving up her life. Why in Satan’s name would she want to give up the last bit of her freedom? Men are idiots.”

My breathing was slowing. The vices on my chest were loosening. I shook my head, trying to get out what I wanted to say. “Don’t want to hurt anyone. No one gets hurt for me. I’ll go alone,” I squeezed out.

Willa rolled her dark eyes. “Now you’re being an idiot. We’re not letting you go out there alone.”

I gulped the air, my breathing almost normal. “I can’t let you. Not after the other day.” I looked around the safe house, the walls already feeling like they were closing in. “I just can’t live the rest of my life here.”

A rough hand slipped into mine and squeezed. “You won’t have to,” Jude told me. “I’ll protect you, wherever you go, whatever you want to do.”

“I’ll bet,” Tanaka smirked. What the hell did that mean? I threw a quizzical glance at him, but Tanaka just grinned at me. God, I didn’t have the patience to figure this out.

“Look, I appreciate all that you’ve done for me,” I told them. “But I realize how dangerous it is to be around me. I couldn’t live with myself if any of you got hurt trying to protect me. It’s not your fight.”

Jerrick laughed a deep warm laugh. “It’s always been our fight, sweetness. You’re arrival is just speedin’ a few things up.”

“Besides,” Willa chimed in, “they’re always trying to kill us anyway. We don’t conform.” With that she stuck her tongue out at me and sat down on Jerrick’s lap.

“I’m sorry,” I told them. “I don’t mean to endanger you. I just…I get that I won’t…be here much longer. I don’t want that time to be spent hiding underground. Bucket list and all that.”

Willa jumped up again. Where the girl got her energy from, I didn’t know. Her eyes sparkled mischieviously. “What’s on the Bucket List? Like sex in every country? I’m sure Jude…or Jerrick…or I could help you with that.” Then she pouted. “But I get the feeling you don’t swing that way.”

I laughed at her impish smile. “There were times I wished I did. Trust me, if being with a woman makes its way onto my Bucket List, you’ll be the first person I call.”

Willa jumped up and pecked my cheek. “Yay!” Then she looked at me pointedly. “Oh, and if you want to try Jerrick on for size, he told me you have a nice ass. We’re all about sharing.”

I blushed a little at her comment. It was easy to imagine Willa and Jerrick having a conversation like that. But I really didn’t think I could take Willa up on that offer either. Unfortunately, I wasn’t a casual kind of girl, especially with my friend’s…whatever Jerrick was. “Thanks guys,” I said, still giggling. “I’ll let you know if it becomes….an issue.”

Jerrick and Willa laughed at me. The hand that was still holding on to mine tightened. I had forgotten Jude’s hand was still in mine. I looked over at his face and it was red. He was staring at a spot on the floor and his grip kept tightening.

“Jude?” I asked.

His murderous gaze slid to me. “What?” he barked out.

I extracted my hand from his. What was his deal? “Just seeing if you’re okay,” I grumbled walking away. Ignoring Jude – it was easier than trying to figure him out – I looked at the rest of the group. “So what do we really do now?”

Willa handed me a notebook and a pen. “First, you seriously need to write out your Bucket List. We’ll try to do as much as we can and all stay alive.” She turned to Jerrick, Tanaka, and Marco. “Sound good?”

“Good,” Marco answered, while the rest of them nodded.

I stared down at the paper. Everyone always talks about Bucket Lists, joking about what will go on them. Mine was going to be a legit bucket list. Something about that made everything seem real. All of sudden my life was lived in months rather than forevers. An overwhelming sadness for all the things I would never even have time to do hit me. Tears built up. Never let them see you cry.

I looked up to Jude, waiting for him to yell at me. Instead, I could feel his heavy heart as he watched me.

“I’m going to go work on this in my room,” I told them. They all nodded solemnly.

What does one put on a Bucket List? Getting married and maybe having kids would have normally been something I would have put on there, but there wasn’t time for that. Instead of dwelling on things I couldn’t change, I opened the notebook so two pages were facing each other. On the left side was going the Bucket List that could be accomplished in the next couple of months. On the right side would be the other one – the one I would have made if my life was normal. Getting married or at the very least being in love, went on the top of the list.

Eating Indian food in India wearing a sari, went on the top of the left side list. I also wrote down see the Eiffel Tower and have a crepe. Backpack across Europe and drive across the U.S. would have to go in the ‘normal life’ Bucket List. But I put see the biggest ball of twine and see the prairie on the left handed list. I had never been to one of those places where you could see things for miles and miles around. It sounded so freeing.

I thought about putting down get a tattoo, but after my experience with the psychiatrists I wasn’t a big fan of needles. Besides, I reasoned, I sort of already had a tattoo on my neck. That reminded me, I had never seen it. Opening a compact, I stood with my back to the mirror on the armoire door. I lifted my hair and saw the two dark, feathered wings. They spread the entire span of the base of my neck and looked like they might take flight any moment. It might not have been the tattoo I would have gotten but it was a helluva lot less painful.

“What are you doing?” Jude’s voice came from the door. His body was leaned causally against the door frame like he had been watching me for a few moments. I noticed he looked a little more relaxed.

I shrugged and closed my compact. “I thought about putting a tattoo on my Bucket List, but I have a thing against needles. Then I remembered you sort of gave me one. I was checking it out.”

He frowned. “I guess I should have warned you about that too.”

He seemed thrown off when I smiled at him. “I look at it as all the bad ass-ness of a tattoo, without the actual pain. I’ll just have to wear my hair up and make up something really symbolic for why I have the wings. Somehow I don’t think supernatural being protector stamp will fly as a story.”

Jude actually smiled back. “No, you need something good. Like it’s a gang symbol or you died and tattooed that as a symbol of the twenty seconds where you saw the light and God talked to you.”

“Then why would they be black wings?” I asked, warming to his game.

Jude walked over and sat on the bed, opposite me. “Because when you talked to God he kicked you out of heaven saying you had a blackened heart and he was sending you back to earth to redeem yourself.”

I nodded. “Maybe if I was going on Oprah that would work, Lancelot.”

He glanced down at the notebook on the bed. “Two lists?”

Quickly, I scooped the notebook up and closed it. I tried to shrug casually, while figuring out how to word my explanation so it wasn’t a lie. “Just writing down ideas and figuring out which we could actually do.”

That wasn’t a lie. The second list just happened to be ideas I knew I couldn’t do. Glancing at Jude, I could see he didn’t completely buy into what I was saying. For now, however, he was going to keep quiet about it.

“What are some of them?” he asked.

I smiled. “Most of them involve travel. I didn’t get to do much and I figure with the whole vanishing thing, it would be fairly easy. Besides, I’m sure more will be added as we go along.”

He nodded, smiling sadly. “Whatever you want to do that doesn’t get you hurt.”

I smiled back mischievously. “Even if it involves male strip clubs?”

“You would have plenty of people to go with. You know Tanaka, Marco, and Willa would go. Actually, so would Jerrick. I’ll just wait outside.” Then he looked at me. It was a cross between disappointment and horror. “Strip clubs isn’t really one of the things on your bucket list, is it?”

I laughed. “No.” Then I winked at him. “I’ve already been to one.” With that I turned and headed into the bathroom.

When I was fixing my yoga pants I noticed an angry red welt on my stomach. The red mark under my belly button wasn’t so much a welt as it looked like all the layers of skin had been removed except for the very thin, veiny, top layer. When I cautiously pressed a finger into it, the skin felt thin and papery, like I could bust it apart with a small amount of pressure. The red mark also stung when I touched it.

What was it? I thought about asking Jude, but I knew he would completely freak out and never let me leave the safe house. I was pretty sure it was nothing, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t an after effect of getting hit by a lightning bolt or something. Willa seemed the most rational person to call.

I poked my head out of the bathroom. Jude was sitting on the bed, looking a little troubled.

“Hey,” I got his attention. “Can you get Willa for me?”

When he raised a dark eyebrow, I just smiled at him. “Girl stuff,” I told him.

Willa entered the bathroom a moment later. Her puzzled pixie face looked up at me. “What’s up?”

“I just needed to ask you about something. If I ask Jude he’ll probably lock me up in here forever,” I explained.

Willa nodded. “So what is it?”

Slowly, I lifted my shirt up and lowered my pants until the red mark was displayed. Willa leaned over it and then very gently lifted a finger to touch it. When she lifted her eyes to meet mine, they were filled with worry.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It’s starting,” she answered darkly.