Celeste

Every six months, Aurora tries to continue going to therapy. He knew it was best that he continue to follow up with his psychiatrist considering what happened to him. He didn't need to see her every couple of days anymore, so that was a good thing.

It's been four years and he was doing fine. He's been managing fine.

"Look at this little one." Phoebe smiled as she waved to the little girl who sat closely with Aurora. This was the first time she was here.

She kept herself close to Aurora since she was in a new place. All morning she was fussy so he thought it would be a good idea to bring her along with him.

"Say hi, Celeste." Aurora said kindly.

The little girl shrunk more into him, her eyes shying away. "Hello." she was quiet as she held on tighter to Aurora's arm.

Her silver hair was down today, just long enough to reach her shoulders. She kept her gaze away from the woman they were sitting in front of. This was the first time she was meeting Phoebe. She just needed to warm up to her. Phoebe thought she was the spitting image of him.

"Still doing okay?" Phoebe asked Aurora.

"Yeah." Aurora sighed. "I still feel the same." he said, and added, "which is a good thing." he was happy for that part. "But..."

"It's going to take time." Phoebe was always patient with Aurora. She knew what it was going to take for Aurora to feel better. So much had happened to him over the years but he's gotten through a lot of it. "You've been improving tremendously, so don't lose sight of that." she offered her words of encouragement.

"I know...I just..." Aurora was tired. "I have a lot to handle. I know part of it I asked for." he moved his hand in Celeste's hair gently. "It's just overwhelming sometimes."

"Being a parent wasn't going to be easy." Phoebe told him. "There will be challenges, some of which you have to know how to handle." she said.

She wasn't worried about Aurora's anxiety. At this point, she felt like he was controlling it and managing well. He talked more than he did in the previous years. But she knew that sometimes Aurora does get a little tired, more often than not. But she wasn't going to forget how far he's come.

"She's turning four next week." Aurora said. "And then next year she starts school." he was lost in thought as he looked at her. "I'm scared she might turn out like me." It bothered him a lot.

"Often times it can run in the family." Phoebe said, "but there are ways to manage."

"She gets frustrated a lot, more so when she's doing something and she can't get it right." Aurora could already tell that Celeste was going to be an anxious girl. "I was supposed to leave her with Alara today, but she cried and screamed."

"That can be normal." Phoebe wasn't surprised.

"It just hurts to see her like that." Aurora would get frustrated with himself because he couldn't help Celeste. She was attached, and it wasn't a bad thing. But he panics when she does.

Who was going to help the two of them?

"That's what being a parent is, Aurora." Phoebe wasn't sure if anyone told him that. "You feel your child's pain. That happens." she said.

Aurora couldn't say anything to that. He hated seeing Celeste upset or crying. It really did hurt.

"Just remember you're not doing this alone." she reminded him.

He wasn't alone.

"Sirus knows how to handle her better when she's like that." He always felt better when Sirus was around. "But sometimes he's gone weeks at a time, and I don't want Celeste to be messed up because she sees me like this."

"So what do you propose we do about that?" she asked him.

It's not like he wanted to be on medications to help his anxiety, and it took him a year to comply with scheduled visits. He was getting better, but sometimes he gets overwhelmed, like he said before.

When Aurora didn't answer, Phoebe knew he had a lot of thinking to do.

"Figure out a healthy way to control yourself when she needs you." She said. "You've gain a lot of control in the past few years years, extend that to your minor moments as well." She advised him.

He could do that.

It was a good idea and Aurora was willing to figure it out.

Celeste needed him, so he had to get himself together for her.

Aurora did have a lot to think about. He was going to work on himself. There was room for improvement.

He walked with her outside. He was slow just to walk at her pace. She didn't mind walking on her own, but when it gets crowded, she would latch on to Aurora and hoped to be picked up.

He had her in his arms after a few moments. She kept her arms around him and her head on his shoulder.

"I want to go home." she said quietly, her voice muffled in his shoulder.

"That's where we're going." he told her.

"Are you coming, too?" She was at that phase where she wanted to only be with her parents and no one else.

"Yeah, I'm coming, too." Aurora was going to take a few days off. "I got you a surprise." he said to her.

She lifted her head up quickly and looked at him, her eyes bright. She loved surprises and gifts. She was spoiled but there was nothing that wouldn't make her eyes sparkle for weeks.

Aurora pointed ahead of her and she turned in his arms to look. When she saw, she pushed against him so she could be let down.

When Aurora let her go, she went running over to Sirus in a haste.

He just got back this morning and she had been asking for two weeks where he went.

It was always better to have both her parents home.

Sirus picked her up and she hugged him tightly. She smiled so wide with excitement. She immediately forgot how this morning had gone.

"It's my birthday." she said loudly.

"That's next week, baby. You've been saying that all month." Sirus told her.

"It's my birthday." She said again.

That's how she felt, because Aurora got her a great surprise.

Aurora wished that he could give Sirus more of a break. He deserved that much, especially for Celeste. But it was hard when he had to work. Sometimes Aurora would be gone, too, not as much as Sirus but it made Celeste sad when either of them had to leave.

So today she was happy.

Aurora couldn't say the same. He had a plain expression on his face.

Sirus didn't seem to like that. "It's been two weeks but you do nothing." Sirus said to Aurora when he walked up to him. "No hi, no hug, nothing."

Aurora scrunched his face as he stared at Sirus. He knew Sirus was just joking but he didn't find it funny. What was he expecting? Aurora doesn't like public displays of affection, and he would tell everyone that he doesn't feel anything for Sirus whatsoever. After so many years he's still that childish.

Celeste was playing with the badge on Sirus' shoulder. "Daddy give kiss." She laughed.

"Yeah, give daddy a kiss." Sirus said to Aurora, smiling widely.

Celeste turned and pressed her lips to Sirus' cheek.

"See, she gets it." Sirus said.

"Sometimes, I forget that you're like this." Aurora sighed.

"I can fix that bad attitude real quick." Sirus definitely knew how to get Aurora to perk up.

Aurora thought that was a threat and he tensed up. He knew what was going to happen.

"I'm going to ignore you all day." Aurora said.

"You were the one telling me you 'missed me' and wanted me to come home." he mocked Aurora. Poorly, Aurora would say. "I'll get you on that later." Sirus wasn't going to let Aurora forget that this week.

Was Aurora going to say out loud that he was slightly excited? No. Although it's been two weeks and he had to admit that he prefers having Sirus around, he wasn't going to mention that his affinity for sex, especially with how it helps with stress, has been more heightened.

But he doesn't mind telling Sirus that he missed him. It meant more to be together now, especially for Celeste.

"Can we go play?" Celeste asked, raising her arms up high.

"You just said you wanted to go home." Aurora wasn't surprised that Celeste now had the energy to stay outside.

"I want to play." She was louder now.

She was happier because Aurora was. She noticed a lot for a four year old, well she knew a lot about her parents. She thought Aurora wanted to play, too.

Guess he did.

There was a small meadow that was hidden away from people. Every year when the flowers bloom, Celeste would ask to go play with them. It was a colder season, the flowers weren't in bloom, but that didn't stop Celeste from running after the insects she could see. She was small, but she had a lot of energy. It took a lot to wear her down.

Aurora was watching her play quietly. There was a lot on his mind, and he couldn't seem to shake it. He wanted to know what he should do, how he could handle her better, maybe help her so she could deal with her stress.

"Still pissy?" Sirus asked.

He never worried like Aurora did.

"You need to calm down."

Aurora sighed though and turned towards Sirus, about to explain himself since clearly he needs to voice his concerns more often.

But he could hear Celeste screaming happily, and he didn't know how to say what he wanted to.

She was just a kid.

Kids cry and throw temper tantrums all the time.

"I'm scared for her." Aurora looked at Sirus, and he wanted him to know that it was a serious subject.

Sirus didn't believe him. He gestured to Celeste who fell in the grass. Instead of getting up, she laid there. She was still laughing and screaming, her arms and legs spread out in the grass.

"Seriously?" Sirus thought that was enough proof. "You're scared for her?" He really didn't believe Aurora.

"She's...dependent-"

"She's almost four."

"I'm scared she'll turn out like me." Aurora thought he didn't get it.

And Sirus didn't. He didn't see the problem. "Okay, and?" He thought there had to be more. "I don't understand what's the big deal." He said.

"You're not...worried?"

"She's four. I'm expecting her to act like a little shit." Sirus didn't seem that bothered at all. Aurora rolled his eyes. "So what she turns out like you?" He clearly didn't see anything wrong with that.

Sure, Aurora had his terrible qualities, one of them being that he doesn't mind his own business. But to say turning out like Aurora would be a bad thing is a lie. Imagine having an incredibly driven child who would want nothing more than to succeed? Or a child grows up to be someone who cares for other people and is compassionate? Sirus wasn't worried. Celeste could turn out to be any kind of person and it wouldn't change anything.

Aurora was staring at Sirus, almost in amazement. "I can't believe you're so good at this." Sirus didn't seem to have a care in the world.

"I'm pretty sure the requirements is for her to be safe and to grow up. Just let her do shit and everything will be fine."

Aurora didn't think it was that simple. He turned to look at her again. Celeste was having fun running in the tall grass. She held weeds in her hands that she thought were flowers. She smiled widely as she threw it in the world and yelled that it's her birthday though it wasn't.

Sirus knew that Aurora was worried but he hoped that would have been settled quickly. Aurora usually takes care of things like that on his own, the feeling of uncertainty that he has. This time it was lingering.

Aurora was exhausted. Physically and mentally.

Sirus looked at him for a second. "You're so mental. You work yourself up and don't sleep, then want to complain that everything is going wrong when it's your fault-"

Aurora sucked in air loudly and closed his eyes. He needed to have the strength to deal with Sirus. He was two seconds away from yelling and he was trying to hold it in but he wasn't doing very well.

"Thanks, Sirus. You're great." Aurora said with bleak sarcasm as he looked up at him.

Sirus put his hands on Aurora's face, his fingers able to touch his white hair as he pulled him forward gently to kiss his forehead. "See, now you're getting it."

Celeste came running to them.

"I found flowers!" She said loudly and opened her hand, showing the grass.

"Those are ugly flowers." Sirus told her.

"I know." She threw them in the air. "It's my birthday!" She was so happy to say. She lifted her arms up high, wanting one of them to pick her up.

Aurora did. "That's next week, Celeste." He pulled some of the grass from her silver hair.

He wasn't surprised she was saying it's her birthday, she's been saying that all month. She rattled off about all the things she wanted for her birthday, all the toys she didn't need and probably wouldn't play with after a day.

She'd be spoiled anyway.