Chapter 8
Kate
I let Emerick wash my body. His touch was gentle, and never strayed. He inspected every injury, but refrained from asking questions. When he got to the long scar across my back, he kissed it gently before continuing on. The gesture brought tears to my eyes, but I forced them away.
I always felt ashamed when I thought about my relationship with Thomas Stiler. It was one I never should have indulged in and I knew I deserved the outcome. For the first time, Emerick made me feel like maybe I wasn’t as worthless as Thomas had made me feel. Maybe I was deserving of more than sex, abuse, and a tropical vacation to make up for it.
Maybe…
Emerick grabbed the shampoo and worked it into a lather. He stepped behind me again and started massaging it into my scalp.
“Mmm,” I hummed at the feeling.
When he was done, he kissed my shoulder before grabbing the shower nozzle and starting to rinse. I watched as he worked. His intense focus was alluring. He paused when I placed a hand on his chiseled abdomen.
I reached up to kiss him gently, and he returned it. Then, he gave me a gentle smile before continuing with his task. He stood behind me again to work the conditioner into each strand.
“You’re good at this,” I murmured.
“I wash my niece’s hair when I babysit,” he explained.
“Mmm.”
He didn’t respond. Just continued on. When he was finished, I grabbed the soap.
“My turn,” I told him.
He looked like he wanted to argue, but then thought better of it. His posture relaxed and I got to work. I stood before the massive man and realized Thomas was only maybe half Emerick's size, yet he made me feel more afraid than anyone else ever had. Emerick on the other hand made me feel safe.
And loved. I shook the thought away.
I deliberately lathered every inch of Emerick's muscled frame. His body was absolutely tempting. I felt him stiffen as I slowly trailed my fingertips down his stomach and over towards his hips.
I tried to hide my grin when I saw the reaction he was clearly trying to fight in his groin. Before he could stop me, I knelt before him.
“Kate,” he hissed as I took his tip in my mouth.
He pulled away and I frowned up at him.
“What?” I asked. “You don’t want me?”
I was baiting him. I knew he did. His rock hard erection was proof of that. It annoyed me that he was resisting.
“It’s not that,” he argued. “It’s just -”
“I’m too fragile to know what I want?” I tilted my head to the side as I stared up at him.
“No,” he shook his head but sounded unsure.
”I absolutely understand this isn’t a healthy coping mechanism,” I admitted. “And I understand you’re trying not to take advantage of the situation.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked and he looked away. I’d hit the mail on the head. He was a good guy. Maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up I could respect his boundaries, but right now all I felt was an intense desire to be as close to him as possible.
“Let me do this,” I said, firmly. “I want to feel something other than weak and hurt. I want to feel you. I want you.”
I watched as he fought an internal battle he was clearly losing with his better judgment. When I wrapped my hand around his throbbing cock, he sucked in a tight breath before finally giving in. I grinned up at him before taking his length to the back of my throat.
“Jesus Christ, Kate,” he swore.
I stroked him slowly as I sucked. When I got to the tip, I swirled my tongue around. A growl grumbled in Emerick’s chest. I looked up at him, still sucking his length, and his wolf’s eyes stared back at me. It was mesmerizing.
I kept teasing Emerick’s thick member, marveling at every inch of his perfect body. Water rolled down from his dark, shaggy hair and over every delicious ridge.
I tasted a slight saltiness and hummed in satisfaction when I felt his hand fist into my hair. He started meeting me stroke for stroke. I ramped up the pace, but yelped when he suddenly pulled away and picked me up.
“Shit,” he muttered. “Did I hurt you?”
I wrapped my legs around his torso where he held me aloft.
I shook my head. “I’m fine.”
My mouth found his neck then. I kissed my way along his shoulders, pausing to nip his earlobe. He reached down to push himself to my entrance. I sighed when he thrusted his way in my already wet pussy.
“You’re dick is amazing,” I murmured against his ear.
He growled in response before pushing my back against the wall. The sensation of his heat on one side and the cool tile on the other, was almost too much to take. He set a demanding pace, and my nails dug into his shoulders as I struggled to hang on with my good arm.
I ground against his pelvis, stimulating my clit while he hit every other nerve in my body. My nipples scraped along his rock hard chest as he continued to thrust. It was almost too much to take.
My release built deep within me, and I leaned back slightly to look at my gorgeous lover while he worked. I caught his gaze and the beast inside of him stared back at me. It was enough to send me over the edge.
“Emerick,” I gasped his name while I broke apart around him. I threw my head back as my orgasm all but ripped me in half.
He shouted his release a moment later and I felt his hot liquid fill me. His forehead rested against the wall above my shoulder as he panted, and his cock throbbed inside of me.
I buried my face in his neck and snaked my arms around him tightly. For the first time in days, I felt calm wash over me. It might be an unhealthy coping mechanism, but sex with this gorgeous werewolf was enough to push my anxiety to the back of my mind.
I felt Emerick reach and turn of the water before he gently set me down. He wrapped me in the only towel I could see in the bathroom before carrying me to his bed and laying me down again.
“Where are you going?” I asked, softly.
“I’m just grabbing a towel to dry off, baby girl,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” I nodded and tried not to sound as vulnerable as the question made me seem.
As promised, Emerick emerged from the bathroom a moment later, quickly drying his hair. He crawled into bed next to me and threw the towel he had wrapped me in to the floor. I let him tuck me under the comforter and sighed contentedly as he wrapped his bare front to my back.
“Kaitlyn McClain, I’ll love you the rest of my life,” he whispered against my ear.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the desperate longing in my heart.
~
When I woke later the windows were still dark. It took me a moment to orient myself. When I realized where I was, I reached for the naked man next to me and found he was missing.
I frowned and pulled myself from my cozy nest. I wasn’t sure where my clothes were and felt weird about digging through Emerick’s drawers so I grabbed the towel still piled at the side of the bed.
When I walked out, the house was quiet, but I could see the porch light on. I crept that way and peaked out the window. Emerick was talking to my sister and Ivar.
Emerick spoke animatedly with his hands and Sam clearly disagreed with whatever he said. Ivar just leaned back against the deck railing with his arms crossed and his usual serious expression on his face. After a moment, the king’s icy gaze flashed to mine and he casually pointed.
Sam flew through the back door in the next instant and wrapped me in a hug. I stifled a groan as she made contact with my many bruises.
“Are you okay?” She whispered.
“Yeah, Sammy. I’m good,” I assured her.
“What happened?” She asked.
“Would you believe I got mugged?”
She pulled back to give me a disapproving look.
I sighed. “I should probably start at the beginning, huh?”
Sam nodded. “That’s usually a good place.”
“I, um, need clothes first,” I told her. “And wine.”
We both laughed. A very grumpy Emerick came in and pulled an oversized outfit from his dresser for me. He begrudgingly went back outside with Ivar when Sam unceremoniously shooed him away.
My sister and I each sat on one end of the couch facing each other. She had bogarted a bottle of wine from Emerick’s liquor cabinet and we each held a glass. Then, I told her everything.
Sam stayed quiet while I repeated much of the same story I told Emerick. Several times I saw her wolf flash through her eyes, but she refrained from any commentary. By the time I was done, her expression was one of mixed emotions.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked, her sadness evident. “I’m your big sister. I’m supposed to protect you.”
“I didn’t know how,” I told her, honestly. “I didn’t want you to think less of me. It's not exactly something I felt like broadcasting.”
“Kaitlyn,” she looked in my eyes, “I always think you’re amazing. No matter what. I could’ve helped you get away.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I was ready to leave until I did. It was a decision I needed to make for myself,” I paused. “Although, I could’ve done without this going away present.”
I gestured to my still very bruised face.
"Why did you stay?" She asked hesitantly. "I understand wanting to keep your job but was that enough to put up with abuse?"
I thought about lying, but I didn't have the energy to come up with a fabrication. As embarrassing as I found the truth, I thought my sister deserved it.
"Honestly, Sam," I shrugged, "I didn't date a whole lot in high school or college and then I had this super attractive, rich guy giving me an unbelievable amount of attention. It was intoxicating and I fell in love with him."
Sam grimaced but I ignored it and continued.
"He didn't always treat me like shit. In the beginning, he was overwhelmingly attentive and when we would argue he would do anything to make it up to me. It was the same after he got physically abusive. Even that started out less serious and every time he swore up and down it would never happen again. Looking back, it's easy to see that he was escalating, but in the moment it was hard to grasp the severity.
"When I stopped loving him, I felt trapped because I adored my job. I realize now that I gave up my entire identity to be the version of me that he liked. I didn't know who I was without my career and he could have taken that from me in an instant."
"Would you have always kept it a secret, though?" She asked.
I nodded. "That was the plan. I didn't want you to know. I thought it would be easier to move on if I could just cut ties."
"That had to be so isolating," she said sadly.
I stared at her. That's exactly what it was. He had purposefully tried to distance me from my family and friends. It made me easier control.
"He told me you would be ashamed of me," I admitted quietly. "He told me no one else would ever love me and that I should be grateful for him."
I saw Ayisha flash through my sister's eyes and her lip curled slightly before she quickly regained her composure.
"Sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean to upset you."
She took my hand. "Don't be sorry. I love you, Kate. It’s really, really difficult for me to imagine a person hurting you like this. I’m so very sorry for everything you went through. I'm here always. Whatever you need.”
She pulled me into another tight hug and I let myself melt into her. My silent tears fell freely as I held the person I looked up to most in the world. She had always been my hero.
The truth was, I didn’t tell her even when I wanted to leave because I didn’t want her to think all of my success could be attributed to that fact that I sleeping with my boss. At times, I wondered if that was the case myself. I put aside everything else for my career. I hated the thought that it was all for nothing and that I wasn’t deserving of my accomplishments.
In the end, I gave it up anyway. Sometimes the cost was just too high. I was done letting myself be someone’s punching bag.
I was done wondering whether Thomas might kill me.