Catching Kate (Book 2.5 She-Wolf Series)

Kate

I stayed at his bedside for two days. Mine and Emerick’s family filtered in and out on a rotation. I tried to put on a brave face, but mostly I just sat quietly, watching for any signs of his improvement.

Emerick’s mom, Lydia, broke down the minute Dr. Martin explained his condition. I heard her sobs from the hallway outside his room, and closed my eyes tightly against the pain of my guilt. My heart ached for her. Any parent losing a child was an absolute tragedy, but it was almost unheard for werewolves. What could take down such a powerful creature in their prime?

Apparently me.

His father, Peter, sat stoically in the corner for hours, his face grim. I couldn’t bring myself to offer either of them comfort when I was the cause of his condition. Although neither of them said it, I couldn’t help but assume they blamed me.

It was late in the afternoon on my second day in the medical bay when a tap on my shoulder pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to find Lydia Stone holding a bag of takeout.

“Honey, you haven’t had anything to eat,” she said, mildly.

“Oh, umm, I’m not all that hungry,” I said.

It was the truth. The thought of food made me gag. My own mother and sister tried several times to offer me different things and I turned them all down.

Lydia nodded knowingly. “I figured, but when my son wakes up, I don’t want him to think I let you starve.”

I looked from the bag of food to the kind face holding it, trying to find words.

How could this woman possibly want me anywhere near him now?

“Come on,” she said, giving me a soft smile. “It’s soup from my favorite café down the road. I’ll split with you.”

She sat in the chair next to me and started setting up our meal on the small hospital table between us.

“Thank you, Mrs. Stone,” was all I could manage.

She pursed her lips. “I’d really prefer Lydia. ‘Mrs. Stone’ reminds me of my own mother-in-law and let’s just say she was not my favorite person. Goddess rest her soul.”

“Okay then, Lydia,” I agreed, quietly.

She looked at me and tilted her head. Her eyes held such sadness I struggled to hold her gaze.

“Kate, I don’t blame you,” she said after a moment.

I looked down at my hands in my lap in shame. She reached across and held one, giving it a squeeze until I met her stare.

“When Emerick told us about your being fated mates, I was sure it was only a matter of time until he gave up,” she explained. “Not because you are anything less than extraordinary, but because of the circumstances. I knew a strong McClain woman wouldn’t settle for her sister’s former lover, let alone my son's less than admirable dating record.”

She wrinkled her nose slightly and I couldn’t help but grin.

“I didn’t argue with him or try to dissuade him because I honestly didn’t think he was a match for you, but he always insisted that he refused to give up. Over the last couple months, I have watched him change for the better because of his relationship with you. He’s finally living for something greater than himself, and I could not be more proud. I have only you to thank.”

I felt tears fall from the corners of my eyes and hurried to wipe them away.

“I tried to get him to reject me,” I admitted and my voice caught on the lump in my throat. “I've made some really big mistakes. I don’t deserve his love. I haven’t done anything to earn it.”

At my words she frowned. “What makes you think love is something you should have to earn? He loves you simply for the woman that you are. There’s nothing more you have to do or be for him, Kate.”

I couldn’t hold back my tears then. Emerick’s mom wrapped me in a hug and held me as I mourned for the man next to me and the girl who believed she wasn't enough.

“I never said it back,” I told her. “I never told him I loved him, too.”

“Oh, honey,” she said, her voice also thick with emotion. “You will. When he wakes up, you will.”

While we ate, she regaled me with tales from Emerick’s childhood. He was a wild child who rarely sat still and loved the outdoors. I smiled thinking of the sometimes unreasonable but always kind man he became.

Sitting with his mother, I could tell where his unconditional love stemmed from. She was obviously very compassionate and warm. She seemed like someone who saw the best in others and forgave easily without a grudge. I hoped I would have the chance to get to know her further. When evening turned to night, she bade me farewell with a tight hug.

It was my second night alone to keep watch, and I welcomed it. My shoulders slumped as soon as the door closed behind Lydia.

I could keep up appearances for a while, but the effort was exhausting. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and weather my heartbreak in solitude. Instead, I pulled myself together and started the process of getting Emerick cleaned up for the night.

A nurse came in and helped me bathe him and change his blankets. He always liked to shower before bed and I wanted him to feel comfortable. The nurse administered some medications that I didn’t have the energy to ask about and checked the IV in his arm before she quietly exited.

The night before I slept in the vinyl chair at his bedside. I stared at it now with unbridled disdain. My back hurt and I hated that I could only reach his hand for reassurance that he was still with me.

Fuck it, I thought.

After changing into my own pajamas, I crawled under the knitted blanket alongside him. It was the first time our bodies had been this close since the night of his accident. I melted into his familiar warmth. My head rested on his chest and I stared up at his handsome face.

He looked so devastatingly peaceful. I'd heard most people describe their loved ones as appearing small or weak in a hospital bed.

Not Emerick. He filled almost the entire bed and his smooth, muscular body gave the impression he was the epitome of health. Aside from the frayed mate bond, he most likely was.

He will be, a hopeful voice sounded in my mind and I prayed it was true.

I listened to his beating heart and steady breathing. It was a marvel that a person could have all the signs of life except consciousness. There was so much unknown even if he did wake up.

Dr. Martin informed me during her exam this morning that they stopped giving any sedatives the previous day. Scans of his brain and other tests showed mild improvement. He should be waking up. The fact that he wasn’t led me to believe it was due to the bond rather than the brain injury and seizure.

I closed my eyes and imagined he could hear my internal pleas for him to wake. He couldn’t though. Not even a healthy person could read minds. As far as I knew. There were a lot of strange creatures in the world.

When he still didn’t so much as flutter his eyelids, I took a deep breath.

“Emerick, I need you to wake up,” I said softly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I was too scared to admit how I feel about you. I thought we had more time. It was so, so selfish of me. I knew you were suffering, and still I didn’t trust you enough to make the leap.”

I stared at him for a moment, but he didn’t react at all. The monitor in the corner just continued its soft, steady beeping. All the feelings I had been suppressing started bubbling up until I felt like I was about to explode.

Finally, I blurted out, “I blame you too, though. How could you not tell me? How could you just sit there and pretend everything was fine? You knew - you knew - something was wrong that night. It’s why you were out of bed and you still kept it from me.

“Now, I get to sit here and wonder if you’ll even wake up. If you do, I have no idea what life might look like for us or how much of a future we will have. If you love me so goddamn much, how could you risk it? How could you hide it from me?”

My voice was getting louder the longer I spoke. I was practically yelling at him, but I couldn’t stifle the completely illogical anger I felt. The rational part of my brain screamed at me that it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't help but feel so betrayed by his condition.

“You haven’t asked me in months about mating. I thought it wasn’t urgent. I thought we could just be a normal couple. I loved spending every moment with you. It was so fucking nice, Emerick. And you still went to work! Why did we waste so much time at stupid work? You were so sick, and you ran security for the entire pack.”

I was rambling. My mind was going a million miles a minute and it was hard to focus on any one thought. I took a deep breath and tried to steady my out-of-control emotions. As the anger slowly dissipated, in its place came a bone crushing sadness. I clutched my heart, as if trying to stop it from shattering.

This wasn't what was supposed to happen.

“I love you,” I sobbed. “I love you with everything that I am. I don’t know how to keep living in a world you’re not in. You’re the other piece of my soul. Please wake up. Please…”

Please don't leave me, my brain provided the words my lips couldn't. I wrapped myself tighter around his body and buried my face into his chest to cry some more.

At some point, I must've fallen asleep because I dreamt of two little boys squealing and chasing after an unnaturally large wolf with deep brown eyes. When he looked at me, the world seemed to stop spinning for just a moment. I felt real tears on my face but refused to wake up and let go of the perfect scene in my mind's eye.