Chapter 19
Emerick
My mate looked beautiful in the afternoon sun glinting off the water. Her auburn hair was pulled back under a baseball cap and loose tendrils framed her face.
She had traded in her usual perfectly coordinated outfit for faded jeans, a t-shirt, and well-worn boots. Despite my never having seen her this way, she looked more like herself than she ever had.
Zef whined against her cheek where we sat close together.
“I probably need to talk to Emerick,” Kate said, quietly.
Instead of shifting, Zef curled around Kate before laying down. She leaned back against his solid torso, her shoulders resting on his ribcage. The wolf laid his massive head down on his paws. Her presence was enough to calm the fury we had been battling since she sent us away.
We stayed like that for a while. Kate stared up at the clouds, seemingly lost in thought. Zef reveled in the feel of her absently running her fingers through his fur.
Finally Kate spoke, “You know you were kind of an asshole today.”
Zef just sighed heavily and rolled his eyes even though she couldn’t see them.
“I had it under control,” she continued. “You should’ve given me the opportunity to handle it myself.”
My wolf finally stepped back so I could take over. I shifted, but Kate stayed where she was so that now her head rested on my bare stomach. She turned slightly to meet my gaze.
“Baby girl, I will always do what I can to protect you,” I told her. “Whether you need me to or not.”
“I don’t have two million dollars lying around to give him,” she said, frowning. “I could’ve talked him down lower.”
“Nobody said anything about you giving that asshole any money,” I tried to keep my tone soft, but discussing the interaction with Stiler had my blood boiling.
Kate eyed me suspiciously. “You have a cool two million just readily available?”
“Honestly, I was prepared to give him the full six,” I told her. I wasn't joking. My accountant was not pleased by my phone call at three in the morning to get it done.
“Where the hell did you get six million dollars? You live in a modest cabin in the woods. I’ll admit the car is nice, but -"
“I was the beta for a few years and that paid well. The pack gave me the land the cabin is built on and paid for my college tuition. I majored in finance and made some really good investments over the years,” I shrugged.
“Are all werewolves secretly rich?” She asked, her tone disbelieving.
“You live in the Alpha’s Residence and work at the pack house, Kate. Both sort of scream wealth,” I chuckled. “Plus you handle a lot of the business transactions. How did you think the money was being used? Yes, ranking members are all very well off, but the pack makes sure no one goes without.”
“Interesting,” she murmured. “I guess I didn’t really consider it.”
I didn’t have anything to add so I just stayed quiet and watched her closely. Without looking at me, she reached for my hand and intertwined it with her own.
I closed my eyes and tried to fight the longing in my heart. She somehow made the contact between us feel so casual, but I yearned for it to mean to her what it did to me. I gently stroked her delicate fingers with my thumb.
“You look good like this,” I told her after a moment. “Not to say you don’t always look beautiful, but you look more… at ease.”
“Thank you,” she said, softly. “I think I gave up a lot of what made me, me, fighting for his stupid love. I’m trying to find myself again.”
“I’m sorry that I overstepped with Stiler,” I apologized. “And I’m sorry I didn’t keep my emotions in check. I could sense you getting scared and I lost control.”
She pursed her lips but kept her gaze towards the sky. “I’ll admit, it was nice to see Thomas look like he was going to pee his pants.”
I grunted.
“You scared me too, though,” she said and shifted her stare directly into mine.
“I didn’t mean to, Kate,” I told her but I could still see wariness lingering in her expression. “I would never hurt you. I would rather die.”
She leaned back to look up at the clouds. “I don’t want you to die,” she said after a moment.
I knew we weren’t talking about Stiler now. I squeezed her hand gently, but she didn’t return it.
“It’s okay, hun,” I said, gently.
“How can you possibly say that?” She argued. “How can you give up your life rather than walk away? Your family is going to be devastated.”
I took a deep breath. I argued with my sisters several times about my complicated relationship with Kate. Before Sam and Ivar had made their bond known, most of the werewolf population believed fated mates were a myth. My family was trying to be understanding, but mostly they wanted me to move on.
I still hadn’t told them that ultimately I would sacrifice my own life if Kate continued to refuse to mate. They would no doubt try to convince me to turn my back on her. I couldn’t even imagine what my parents would say. Nonetheless, I was resolute in my decision.
“Living in a world where I can’t be with the person I’m destined for, sounds like a fate worse than death,” I pushed a loose curl behind her ear. “I’ve lived well, hun. I’m not trying to force you into anything.”
“Threatening to let yourself die rather than reject me feels like coercion, Emerick,” she said. “I told you before I can’t watch you slowly deteriorate.”
I frowned. “Do you want me to leave instead?”
“What? No,” she sat up and looked at me.
“You just said you don’t want to watch me deteriorate,” I pointed out. “I can leave if that would make it easier on you.”
She shook her head. “You’re literally impossible.”
“Why?” I asked and pulled myself to sit up next to her.
“We are talking about you dying and instead of just agreeing to reject me, you’re offering to go off on your own to spare my feelings,” she said, clearly exasperated.
“I don’t understand,” I reached for her hand and instead she leaned to rest her head on my chest. In turn I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her, breathing in her scent.
“What do you want me to do, Kate?” I asked. “Do you really want me out of your life for good?”
“Why would rejecting me mean you’re out of my life completely?”
I stared at the forest around us and tried to find a way to explain the pain that accompanied any thought of turning away from her.
“There’s a physical reaction when I even consider rejecting you,” I explained and winced at my own words. “I don’t think I could stand being around you after we broke the bond. It would be too painful.”
“So it’s all or nothing?” She asked. “I’m either your mate, or we don’t have any relationship.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“It feels like I’m backed into a corner,” she said.
“I’m not asking you to make any decisions right now,” I pointed out.
She was quiet for a moment. “Sam said you’re in pain every moment we don’t complete the bond.”
I grimaced but stayed quiet.
“Is that true?” She looked up at me with sad eyes.
“It’s not anything I can’t handle,” I tried to joke. “I’m pretty tough.”
She snorted. “No one is tougher than Samantha Paulson.”
I chuckled. “That’s probably true.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked.
“I’m really not trying to pressure you into a decision, honey,” I told her. “I’ve just been trying to enjoy my time with you.”
She bit her lip. “Sam said she no longer feels anything for you romantically. Is it the same for you?”
I grimaced. “I don’t want to say that I regret ever laying eyes on her because I think being with her was a necessary life experience for me, but I hate that you have to question my feelings because of it. I feel nothing for her, Kate.”
She sighed. “I believe you,” she said finally. “It doesn’t make it less weird that you guys were so serious about each other.”
“Do you want the details, Kate?” I asked her, frustrated. “Because the embarrassing truth is that we dated for a week and a half. I proposed - like a love-sick fool. She ultimately turned me down because she’s not an idiot. We slept together a handful of times. Then she met the love of her life and I pouted about it for a year then threw a tantrum when he came back.”
She stared at me with wide eyes.
“Sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn’t it?”
“There was more to it than that,” she insisted.
I shook my head. “There wasn’t. I fell hard because I had never given a good woman a second glance. I slept my way through half the pack’s eligible she-wolves without ever considering their feelings. So yeah, I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve you, but I will work every day to be a mate worthy of your love.”
“What if it’s me that doesn’t deserve you?” She asked, her voice small.
I cupped her cheek and waited for her eyes to meet my own.
“Baby, you deserve the world and then some,” I insisted. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.”
She tried to shake her head but I held her still. After a moment, she snuggled back into my chest.
“I feel constantly drawn to you,” she admitted. “The more I fight it, the stronger it gets.”
“Maybe it’s the mate bond,” I offered. I kept my voice nonchalant but Zef was howling with glee in my mind. The thought that she felt even an inkling of the magic that tied us together gave me hope and explained part of the reason she kept coming back.
Kate just shrugged, but didn’t offer any more theories.
"Can we..." she bit her lip and I couldn't help but grin at her uncertainty. "Can we just be, I dunno, a couple for a bit?"
"Meaning?"
"Like - gosh this sounds so high school," she giggled uncomfortably. "Like boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"Of course," I smirked to hide my disappointment.
It was a fair question and in any other scenario would be completely logical. Being that I was already head over heels in love with her, the titles felt like a let down.
Kate suddenly sobered and frowned, "To be honest the idea of any kind of relationship terrifies me. I wish there was more that I could give you, but there's so much I still need to figure out for myself."
"Baby girl, I'll take what I can get," I told her honestly. "I'll be whatever you need me to be."
She nodded against my chest and I felt myself relax into her.
“You’re super naked,” she said, a moment later.
I chuckled. “Downside of werewolf-life I guess.”
“I’m not sure it’s necessarily a downside,” she said and I felt her grin.
“Watch it,” I warned. “I am powerless against your charms.”
She giggled and poked my ribs. “Good, I have you right where I want you then.”
I laughed. Still, I could feel my cock tightening as it brushed along the backside of my mate’s jeans.
“I should probably take Dad’s truck back to him,” Kate said.
Immediately, the dirty thoughts toying in my mind ceased. The idea of Kate’s dad catching a whiff of our extracurriculars had me backpedaling.
“Okay,” I agreed.
Kate stood and reeled in her fishing line. Her movements were sure and steady, like she had done the same thing a million times over. We packed up the rest of her gear and loaded it in the back of Elias’s truck.
I stepped away to shift and Kate frowned.
“You’re not going to ride with me?” She asked.
“I would love to,” I told her. “But I don’t have any clothes and I’m not sure I want your family to see me in my birthday suit riding in the passenger seat.”
“Well you could drive,” Kate offered and I stared at her, confused, before realizing she was teasing me.
I smirked. “How about I meet you at your place after I run home to change?”
Her lip pouted but she nodded. “Okay.”
“Can I take you out tonight?” I asked.
She seemed to mull it over in her mind. “Okay, but only if you’re buying. Apparently, you’re secretly rich and I plan to take advantage.”
I laughed and she giggled along with me.
With the sunlight glinting through the trees, her profile was mesmerizing. I looked at her finding myself completely captivated by this new, more casual Kate. It was as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders the moment Stiler signed the paperwork.
“I’d gladly go broke to make you smile, hun,” I told her sincerely.
“I look forward to testing that theory,” she smirked.
She turned and slammed the tail gate closed. I caught her around the waist before she could walk to the driver’s seat and kissed her gently. I was pleased when she returned it and pressed her body against mine.
Reluctantly, I pulled away. “I’ll pick you up in just a bit,” I promised.
She smiled and my heart skipped a beat. “See you soon, Mr. Wolf.”
With that, she sauntered away and jumped up in the driver’s seat to start the engine.