Catching Kate (Book 2.5 She-Wolf Series)

Kate

It took a lot of persuading, but eventually Emerick and I convinced Sam to leave for the night. Although my sister asked if I wanted them to take me home, I declined. Part of it was that I didn’t want to face my parents quite yet. The main reason had more to do with the fact that I felt at peace snuggled up against Emerick.

I hadn’t felt truly safe in years. I must have grown immune to the constant adrenaline rush of my day to day life because I never noticed it. Now that I was free, the weight off my shoulders was measurable.

I wasn’t ready to be in a situation where I felt less secure. Emerick’s strong presence was enough to keep me centered.

After Trinity collected Ivar and Sam, Emerick wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into his chest and breathed in his scent. Every touch we shared was intoxicating.

“Back to bed?” he asked.

I yawned, “Yeah, okay.”

He grinned down at me, but I noticed it didn’t reach his eyes. There was a tension in his expression that felt different than earlier. I wondered if Ivar or Sam said something to him.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

He ran a hand through his hair which I had come to associate with him being uncomfortable.

“There’s something I have to tell you, and I really don’t want to,” he said, carefully. “Can we put it off until the morning?”

I stared at him for a moment before answering.

“Will waiting to tell me change anything?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I just think you’re going to be really worried about it, and I want you to get a good night’s rest.”

Usually I hated being kept in the dark, but as I gazed into Emerick’s furrowed brow, I knew he would protect me from whatever was coming. For better or worse, I trusted him. Maybe more than I had ever trusted another person in my life.

“Okay,” I agreed and he let out a breath he had been holding. I yelped in surprise as he scooped me up and carried me back to the bedroom. “You could warn a girl,” I laughed.

“Then you might have had a chance to escape.” He grinned down at me and I could swear my heart skipped a beat.

We snuggled back under the covers, and Emerick wrapped himself around me. I faced away from him and he nuzzled into my hair and kissed along my neck.

“Hey, I thought we were supposed to be sleeping,” I teased.

“Just kissing you goodnight,” he said against my ear and I felt goosebumps trail down my spine.

I sighed. “Thank you for letting me crash here.”

“Baby girl, you’re welcome in my bed anytime,” he murmured. “Preferably all the time.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I also knew the more I let him in, the more he would cling to the hope of a future for us. Whether he accepted my past or not, I wasn’t willing to commit to a relationship that would tie me to him for the rest of my life. Cassie’s words about his having already made a decision sounded in my mind.

“Emerick, you need to reject me,” I told him bluntly.

He stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

I turned so I was facing him and saw the confusion and sadness in his expression. I steeled myself against the guilt that washed over me.

“I care about you, but I know what the incomplete bond is doing to you,” I explained. “I’m not going to agree to mate you. You need to reject me.”

“I won’t do that,” he said, his tone resolute.

“So you would rather die a slow, painful death,” I said sarcastically.

“Yes.”

The determination and acceptance in his voice gave me pause. I hadn’t expected him to be so unwavering.

“You barely know me, Emerick,” I reasoned.

He rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. Tension rolled off of him and his eyes seemed to be staring a million miles away. For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t say anything. When he did, sadness was evident in his words.

“I won’t lose you, too,” he said, quietly. “Over the last year, I’ve lost pretty much everything that meant anything to me. I would rather die than give up on loving you.”

“Sam -” I started but he cut me off.

“It's not about Sam,” he snapped and then took a deep breath. “Christian, your cousin, was my best friend. When he died, my pack lost their alpha, but I lost the one person I knew I could always count on. He was my best friend in the world from the time we were young. Then Sam replaced me as Beta. I understood, but it was also a major part of my identity.

“And yeah, Kate, I lost her too, but I can see now I was never meant to be with your sister or any other woman for that matter.” He turned to look directly in my eyes. “We are meant to be together, and I will never stop trying to prove that to you.”

I was at a loss for words. It wasn’t a feeling I was accustomed to.

“Emerick, you barely know me,” I repeated, weakly.

“I know I love you,” he said. “And I will until the day I die.”

“Why would you love me?” I whispered. "I've never given you a reason."

“Does there have to be a reason?” he asked. “Is there a reason you love your family? Does Luke give you a reason to care about him other than the fact that he’s your nephew? Or do you just love him because of who he is?”

He rolled onto his elbow and cupped my cheek gently. His soft touch might as well have been directly on my heart.

“Kate, I love you because of who you are. There’s nothing you have to do to make me love you. You’re an amazing, strong, resilient woman. I’m in awe of you every moment that I’m with you. If you saw yourself the way that I see you, you would never question why I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.”

I was surprised to feel a tear slip down my cheek. Every part of me wanted to believe his words, but I couldn’t bring myself to be that exposed. Not again.

I shook my head. “You only feel that way because of the fated mate bond.”

His gaze remained unwavering and his tone sure.“That might be what drew me to you, but that’s not the reason I want to stay with you. It’s deeper than that. I’m not asking you to tell me you’ll mate me tomorrow, Kate. Please stop asking me to reject you. Can you just give me a chance? I’m not going anywhere regardless.”

“I don’t want to watch you deteriorate,” I told him, more tears pooling in my eyes. “I care about you.”

“Sweetheart, even if I reject you, there’s no good way out of this,” he said, gently. “According to most of the old legends, wolves who reject their fated mates don’t have happy endings. They spend the rest of their lives alone and heartbroken.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Sam had told me something similar at one point. I hated feeling like a monster because I wouldn’t marry - or mate - a man I had only met a few weeks prior.

“Emerick, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I said, honestly. “I’m human. This isn’t supposed to be something I have to deal with.”

He pulled me against his chest, and I gave into his warm embrace.

“You believed Ivar was Sam’s soulmate when she told you about fated mates,” he offered. “Wouldn’t that mean I’m yours?”

I swallowed a sob before I answered. “Then why don’t I feel what you do, Emerick? Why is it only you?”

He shrugged as he continued to hold me. “I don’t know, Kate. I wish you did.”

I nodded against him. It would make things simpler if I felt the absolute certainty fated mates seemed to. Instead, I was filled with fear and doubt about the magic that supposedly bound us together.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Whatever you decide, it’s okay. Every moment I’ve had with you is a blessing. I hope you change your mind, but regardless I’m glad to have met you.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just laid quietly and listened to Emerick’s steady breathing. I thought I had experienced a broken heart before. Now I wondered if I had ever truly loved before Emerick.

Because the truth I would never admit out loud was I already knew I was falling in love.