Cassandra Cassandra Farrelli: Scarlet Women Book 1

I don’t remember much of what happened after that. My mind and body didn’t want to connect as if they both knew if they did, chaos would ensue, never had I experienced this disconnected feeling— not even when my father had died. The day my father had died I had sobbed almost inconsolably, so had my mother, but I had still been able to connect to my emotions. Somewhere deep within me I’d known that the pain of loss wouldn’t last forever so I clung to happy memories of my father. Here? In this situation?

So many memory fragments floated around in my head that I ached, and none of them were my own memories! In a strange contorted way each memory fragment echoed the one before, the same twisted sense of happiness, where so much pain, death and sorrow ensued. How had my ancestors put up with this? What had the original Cassandra back in the Garden of Eden given up— to be with such a monster and why? I closed my eyes and saw him again as she had— an Angel, a being of pure light. How had he ended up here— Fallen and distorted, a twisted memory of what was supposed to be good?

We left the basement, finally— and I had never been more grateful for fresh air blowing in my face, or the freedom to think my own thoughts, not have someone else’s memories imposed upon me. I tried to swallow the fact that my life was a ticking time bomb. I felt a surge of pride for my grandmother, who, even though she had looked exactly like myself had been so cleverly named Arabella— like the last Cassandra had been trying in her own way however subconsciously to rebel, to break the curse over my family. My grandmother also was brave, she had named my mother Mariah— as if she knew that she would be the one to break the line of women drawn in by this evil man. I wondered how she had managed to hide from Lucas, and hide my mother from him as well. If only she had told my mom in some part, the truth so my mother wouldn’t have named me Cassandra— wouldn’t have exposed me to the evil and horrors of things that go bump in the night. Now I understood all too well why my family’s favorite saying was, ‘A dream is a dream. We make our own futures.’

How many of my ancestors had lived and died by this saying? Or had it been something that my grandmother had made up— knowing that someday this phrase would bring comfort to me in this hour... In this case, it didn’t matter. My dreams were not dreams, and I could not make my own future, my future was not my own, I would die, and with my death, the line would be ended— our curse lifted. Perhaps this was creating a new future?

“You seem troubled.”

We’d left Saint Mary’s Cathedral behind us and made our way into the heart of the city. I’d often walk these streets, often thinking about leaving it all behind, traveling far far away, as far away from Ray as I could— ironic that I would never get to do the very thing I longed to, but I would still be as far away from Ray as possible. I just hoped Ray would be able to keep my mother from diving too deep into herself when the time came… “I’m a dead woman walking. Did you really think that I would feel anything other than trouble?”

Lucas didn’t reply.

I didn’t want to die. I also didn’t want to marry the devil. I just wanted to be free. I wanted the pain of all the women in my head who were supposed to be me to be gone. I wanted to-

“Soon you won’t feel anything at all my love.”

That was not what I wanted to hear.

We walked past a group of middle-schoolers who started snickering because Lucas and I were holding hands. If only they knew his touch creeped me out and for all his good looks? Lucas, was the Devil— who had killed... “How many?”

“What’s that?”

“How many have you killed?”

“Cassandra I really don’t think that it’s necessary to hash out the details, I mean, it’s just so trivial. You understand, don’t you?”

I stopped walking, my feet didn’t want to move anymore, we were only a block from where I lived. “I need to know Lucas. How many women from my family have you killed?”

“The world is only a young sapling, dearest.” A pedestrian with a penny board under his arm walked by and looked at Lucas like he was a crazy person— I mean what twenty old man used the word ‘dearest’ to his girlfriend? Like zero to the millionth? “I mean, the world isn’t ageless. Neither are people. Our journey started six thousand years ago.”

Six thousand years? He’d been killing women in my family for SIX THOUSAND YEARS? The man was a maniac! How did he ever expect that I, like all my relatives, would fall for him? There was no way-

“I suppose we should go over how we met.” Lucas’ voice startled me from the silence of my thoughts. “I mean how you and I in this current lifetime met.”

“I suppose.” Although I would have loved to know how he’d met my original namesake, and what had convinced her to willingly give herself to Lucas.

“Well— we did meet in the cemetery, we could just run with that. The less of a lie it is to tell, the better I’m sure you would be able to make it sound true.”

I felt my eyebrows raise.

“Don’t look at me like that. It is true a lie rarely escapes your perfect lips.”

This was pathetic. Did he think those lines were actually going to work? I lied all the time! Small lies, yes, white lies but I knew how often they came out of my mouth. Who did he think I was? I was not my ancestors, I hoped he knew that.

“I suppose this will be our last hurrah, seeing as you will leave no human children of your own to carry on your line.”

“You do realize I’m almost sixteen right?” Although I did feel glee about him never laying a hand on anyone else from my family. That I would be the one to take him down, that in my death there would be a small victory. “People in this milenia don’t usually get married until their in their twenties, sometimes later— if at all..”

“Yes. Mark and Christopher have been updating me on all the current things of your time. I am much too busy to do so myself— I have many other, shall we say, priorities... It seems to me that the technology of this age has turned healthy adults who should in their own right be taking over the world, into children.”

I felt a little insulted that he thought I was a child, and that so was everyone else my age— we weren’t children, just because we weren’t married and had kids yet. “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

“Harsh?” Lucas laughed. “Every time we meet my love, you get younger and younger but your age never changes. You are always sixteen when we meet, and you have been, every time married and every time you’ve had a child already. This is the first time we have met that you have not experienced the world.” His green eyes seared into me as if he was trying to see my soul.

“Times are not like that anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time.”

“Pity. I was hoping we could continue our love story for another several thousand years— but since the world has become so childish, it is not to be.”

“And how does that work exactly?” I thought of Ray and my mother, it was unlikely that they were to have any children of their own— and if they did it would be a miracle. I mean I was almost seventeen… Why would they even bother? It would be like having a whole new family and— “Does the child have to be mine for the ‘curse’ to continue?”

“Yes. And it is not a curse. It is a blessing for me to continually know you and love you time and time again.”

We had reached the apartment. “That doesn’t seem like a blessing— if I have to die over and over again.”

“Oh, my love.” Lucas reached out with his free hand and gently caressed my cheek. “It is more painful for me than you could ever feel from death. I assure you I have barely gotten over you by the time I finally get to see you next.”

Really? He thought that was more pain than having a monster rip their way from inside to be born and then leave me lying there broken and lifeless? That was messed up.

“Not as messed up as a broken heart.” Lucas muttered, as if he had been crawling around in my skull and knew every thought that hid there. It made me feel as naked, as naked as the first of my ancestors who had fallen in love with the devil— but unlike her, I disliked the feeling. We climbed the steps and Lucas knocked on the door. “Remember Cassandra, you love me— you just haven’t discovered it yet.”

Ray opened the door as the last words left Lucas’ mouth. “There you are Cass! You mom’s been worried sick about you. Don’t you know how to send us a text to let us know you’re okay?… And who is this?”

Lucas stuck out his hand. “Luc Farrelli.”

Ray shook his hand but looked warily at me. “And how do you know my daughter?”

I cringed as the words left Ray’s lips. I was not his daughter! How many times did I have to tell him that?

“She’s my girlfriend.”

Ray didn’t even pretend to hide his shock. “I’m sorry what?”

“Can we come in?” Lucas kept his tight grip on my hand and pulled me around Ray and into the apartment. “Thanks.”

This was NOT going to go over well with Ray, I could already tell, tension was a high. I heard Ray shut the door behind us, and follow us into the kitchen, yup, trouble was brewing.

“If I may be so bold, what is this about, young man? I don’t recall ever seeing you before, and Cassandra has never mentioned you.” Ray paused, straightened his glasses and tie and looked over at me with massive concern scrawled across his forehead. “Cassandra, is this guy bothering you? I can call 911 right now, and have a restraining order written up. I have a judge who owes me a favor on speed dial.”

Restraining order? Now there was an idea… that would be hard to carry out if I saw Lucas in my subconscious while I slept, what would I do then? Imaginary call 911? I stared at Lucas again. In this form he looked like a troublemaking biker from some ‘cool’ gang. No wonder prim and proper Ray looked so worried.

“Look I don’t mean any trouble, I just thought it would be best to formally introduce myself to you since Cassandra and I decided we were officially dating, so I’ll be around more. Didn’t want you to seem as shocked as you are right now.”

WOW that sounded so ‘official,’ but not enough that I actually thought Ray would buy it— Ray was a lawyer, he had people lying to him right, left and center.

“Look dude.”

Yep, Ray saw through him. If Lucas had been a normal boy, he would be chewed up and spat out so fast he wouldn’t have known what to do, but Lucas was not a normal boy— he wasn’t even a boy. No, in this scenario I was more worried about my step-dad getting chewed up by the devil.

“Cassandra, as far as I know or her mother knows, has never had a boyfriend. If you knew Cassandra at all, you would know that she loves to study, excels at academics and wants to go to university. Quite frankly Luc—it is Luc isn’t it? You are completely out of her league.”

Oh oh. ‘If you knew Cassandra at all’? Ray had no idea what rage those words could spike in Lucas. It wasn’t that Lucas didn’t know ‘Cassandra,’ it was more like he didn’t know me at all. If I didn’t intercept I was afraid that Lucas would let loose on Ray and then my poor mother would be alone once again.

“Ray, it’s okay.”

Lucas stepped away from us and walked towards the window and stared out at the blooming sunset over the inlet.

“Are you sure?”

I wanted to tell him no— but I couldn’t risk my mom or Ray getting hurt by this evil maniac. “I’m sure.” For the second time ever, I gave Ray a small hug. “I promise.”

“Okay, but Cass, I know these guys— they walk all over you and when they’re done with you they leave you out in an alley bleeding and alone. I just want you to be careful.”

How right that was, but Ray could never know. “I will. Be careful.”

“Good.” Ray cleared his throat. “I was about to make lasagna, do you want to stay Luc? I’m sure that Mariah would like to meet the boy dating her daughter, and although we got off on the wrong foot, I’d like to get to know you as well.” Ray adjusted his wire frame glasses and stared at Lucas.

Lucas turned and nodded. “I would really like that.”

“Perfect. Well, this is going to take me a few minutes so you guys can hang out— but if you go into Cass’ room, the door stays open. Capeesh?”

I nodded as Lucas grabbed my arm and we left Ray in the kitchen. Lucas let me lead down the hall and to my room. The door was slightly ajar from this morning when I’d so eagerly left for Acroft and all the wonders it held. Has it really only been a day? It felt longer somehow, and I felt older. The fan was still oscillating, and my cat was asleep on the bed atop the massive pile of clothes my mother had purchased me. Lucas marched in and sat on the edge of the bed and began to pet my cat. I stood in the doorframe, not sure what to expect now.

“If you don’t like this form I can choose another.”

I shivered. Would I like Lucas in another form? Could I ever? I wasn’t sure.

“Any actor in the world— any boy from school… anyone, really.”

Sighing I walked into my room, leaving my door wide open and sat on the hard wooden desk chair.

“See Cass, the thing is— I’m the prince of this world. I can have whatever I want, and I want you.”

“I suppose I should feel flattered.”

Lucas jumped up and opened my wardrobe closet— hanging there was the scarlet dress. “Did you like my gift?”

I suppose I shouldn’t have been shocked but I was. So, it hadn’t been my mother after all. It had been Lucas. “And the journal?”

Lucas nodded. “Beautiful gifts for a beautiful woman.”

“My mother is going to hate you.” I whispered.

“Rightly so.”

“I don’t want this.”

“I can ease your pain, my love.” Lucas walked toward me and knelt so his head was on my knees.

“How? I will never love you.”

“I can put another Cassandra’s memories in your mind, and she will merely continue from where we last met.”

The thought was appalling. “What would happen to me?”

“You would still be in there, but she would make all decisions and calls for you.”

It was horrible, completely awful. “Would I ever get to be me again?”

“When I am not around I assure you, I will let you be completely yourself, the Cassandra you are now.”

I stared down at his big eyes, human eyes looking up at me. If he had been human, perhaps I would have swooned, if I had been a different Cassandra, perhaps… but I knew too much— and I would never love him. If I was to survive the ordeal perhaps this was the only alternative solution. “Can I pick which version of Cassandra?”

Lucas looked shocked I was even considering it. “Yes, of course.”

I had been curious about the original Cassandra— I wanted to know why she had chosen this life, this curse, if I was going to die, I wanted to know why. Perhaps if she was in my head, I would get to see the whole story— know why I had to die. “Then I agree.”

“Cassandra?”

It was unfortunate my mother chose to enter my room right at that moment. I’m sure we looked very intimate, and my mother wasn’t one to endure PDA of any sort.

“Mom!” I jumped up and Lucas fell over backward, which was a very human response. “This is, this is…”

“I’m Luc.”

Mom stared at Lucas as if he was toxic. “Have I met you somewhere? You don’t look familiar, but you feel familiar... “

Yeah— in your dreams.

“Sorry, Mrs…”

“It’s Mariah, Mrs. Pirot just makes me feel old. And yes, you should be sorry. I can’t believe Ray just left you two to your own demise. Well, I’ll have to learn all about you I guess. If Cassandra has taken a liking to you, you must be decent enough, despite the leather jacket… Why don’t we all convene in the great room? Ray’s assured me the lasagne is almost finished and I’d love to hear how you two met.” Mom sent me a death glare.

“Of course. We’ll be there in a minute, mom.” I was worried she might keep standing there waiting for us, but she nodded and very slowly left. “We aren’t done with this conversation.” I hissed at Lucas as soon as my mother disappeared.

“I’ll say we aren’t. You still have to tell me who you want in your head.”

“Well, I can’t do it right now, I have to be me still.”

“And you can. She’ll just be floating along in there until it’s time for her to take center stage. And we might as well do it now, since your mom and dad doubt our relationship.”

“How will that help us?”

“Every other Cassandra but you loves me. It’s unfair, but true. I still believe you will grow to love me but-”

“Cass, Luc! You two coming?”

“We have to go— they’re waiting!”

“Just tell me which one, Cassandra!”

“Fine, the original Cassandra.”

“What?”

“Well, you said I could pick and-”

“For the love of Lasagna-” Ray’s voice floated down the hall.

“Fine. I did say you could pick.” I noticed a funny look on Lucas face, as if he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to allow me to have the original Cassandra in my head for some bizarre reason.

“Seriously, Lucas, we have to get going.”

Lucas put both his hands on my temples and closed his eyes. “Relax.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to take slow deep breaths. It was hard since all I wanted to do was scream, yell and run like hell away from hell.

Lucas pressed harder. “I said relax, not run a marathon.”

A tingling sensation seeped through my bones, a chill like I have never known, it lasted only a moment, then Lucas was removing his hands from my face.

“You’re right, we should get going.”

“Wait, did it work?”

“What is happening?”

The voice in my head was new. Was it her? Cassandra?

“Luc? My Love, can you hear me? I can see you, but how? And why are you wearing black?”

Emotions poured out of me, emotions that were not my own. Yup, it was her alright. I looked at Lucas and saw him through the original Cassandra’s eyes and let her twisted love for him radiate out of me. “Let’s go face my parents, ‘my love.’”

“Yes, my love, set me free.”