SWNOVELS Captured: Chapter 37
I wake with a start as the front door slams open, jolting upright with a squeak. The hot bodies on either side of me leap up, fists clenched up in front of them, and face the door where we see Ash storming past us, heading up the stairs.
Seconds later, we hear the crash of a door upstairs, shortly followed by the sounds of loud pounding music.
“For fuck’s sake!” Loki exclaims, running both hands over his face and through his hair, grimacing.
“Must have been bad if he’s back early,” Kai muses from his place on the other sofa, his face troubled as he looks after Ash.
Jax grunts at this, but his hands are still curled into fists, although down by his sides now, and his chest is heaving.
“What’s going on?” I ask, looking at them each in turn my brow pulling down in concern.
They all release a sigh, almost at the same time.
“It’s not our story to tell, Pretty Girl,” Loki tells me, looking torn and eyes pleading for me to understand that they can’t tell me everything.
“Ash’s father is CEO of Black Knight Corporation,” Kai begins, and I see Jax and Loki stiffen. “So he expects Ash to follow in his footsteps. To prepare him for the role, his training has… been the most ruthless.” His amber eyes have a haunted look in them. “Go to him, Lilly. He needs you more than he’ll ever say,” Kai urges me.
His words set off a panic inside me, like he’s lit a fuse, and it’s only a matter of time before the whole world blows the fuck up.
With hurrying steps, I head straight up the twisting staircase and down the corridor towards the door on the end. I can hear the song better now, it’s Popular Monster by Falling In Reverse, and I press my forehead against the cool wooden door, my heart lurching in pain at the thought that this is how he feels.
Oh, Ash.
Taking a deep breath in a bid to steady myself and to give me courage for what’s on the other side of the wood, I wrap my hands around the brass doorknob and twist, pushing it open and stepping into the room. There’s just a single lamp lit next to the bed. The rest of the room is in complete darkness, the curtains shut.
My eyes alight on Ash, the light from the lamp highlighting his hunched over position, as he’s sat on the bed wearing black boxer briefs and a white vest. He’s stripped out of the suit he was wearing when he stormed in, it’s cast all over the floor, which is so unlike him that warning bells ring inside my head. He’s facing away from me, and I realise that he hasn’t heard me come in because the music is so loud.
Walking towards him, I come around the bed, seeing something glint silver in his hand, leaving a red trail in its wake as he slices it across his thigh. It takes a second for my brain to make sense of what my eyes see. To compute that Ash is using a razor blade to cut himself.
“Ash?” I whisper, my voice sounding distant and broken in my ears, my body tingles all over and there’s a slight rushing in my ears.
The song stops at that moment, and his head whips up, his face full of agony, alongside sweet release, and an edge of panic at seeing me here.
“Lilly…I–I…” he stutters, so unlike his usual arrogant self. “You shouldn’t be in here,” he sighs, but there’s no heat to his voice. No anger or hardness. Only, perhaps, a resigned sadness. And maybe a touch of relief at being caught?
“Oh, Ash, my darling,” a sob catches in my throat as hot tears fill my eyes and spill over. I furiously wipe them away.
Now is not the time to break down, Lilly. Pull your fucking self together!
“Can I see, please?” I ask gently, taking a step towards him, and indicating his leg.
He just nods his head, so I take another step until I’m in front of him, between his legs, and I go down on my knees, taking a look at the cuts. They’re bleeding, but are not too deep, and it’s then that I notice that underneath so much of his beautiful ink, are the raised lines of hundreds of scars.
They’re all over his body, he’s covered in them, and I can’t believe that I haven’t noticed before now.
I can hardly breathe through the pain that these marks, his scars, cause me. He must have felt so alone, and full of so much hurt for years.
It takes a couple of tries, but I clear my throat enough to ask, “Do you have a first aid kit in here?”
He nods and reaches over to the bedside drawer, pulling out a red bag with a white cross on the front and handing it to me.
“Thanks,” I whisper as I open it and get out antiseptic wipes, bandages, and tape.
I set about my task, wiping the cuts with the wipes and bandaging them up. I sit back on my knees for a moment, just trying to breathe, and failing to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.
“Please, don’t cry, Princess,” he asks in a pained voice, his hand reaching out and lifting my chin. His grip pulls me up so that I’m raised up on my knees, our faces close together. Both hands come up to cup my face, bringing us closer still. “I’m not worth your tears.”
I pull back slightly so that I can look deep into his stunning grey eyes, which are full of darkness and shadows tonight.
“Ash, you are worth every tear, every smile, every fucking thing, and if I need to spend my entire life making you believe that, I will do so gladly.” I will him to believe the words, to see what he means to me.
“You are too good, too pure, for the likes of me, Lilly Darling,” he says back, his voice husky, and I can see the glint of tears in his own eyes, making the steel swim.
“I am exactly right for you as you are for me, Asher Vanderbilt,” I whisper back vehemently as I place a gentle kiss on his luscious lips. Tonight, all I can taste is sadness, hopelessness. I pull back before the kiss can get deeper, and look into his eyes.
“I had a friend back in England who, when we were younger, used to self-harm. We had a code word for when she was feeling the urge, and I would help distract her until it passed. It gave her time to then feel comfortable enough to talk to me about what had triggered her.”
“What was your code word?” Ash asks me softly, and I can’t help a small grin.
“Rubber duck,” I say with a slight giggle at the incredulous look on his face.
“Rubber duck?” he repeats, brows raised, and I nod.
“Would you like to do the same thing?” I ask him seriously. He thinks for a moment and then nods, a slight smile on his face. “And do you want to talk about what happened today to trigger you?” I ask gently.
He sighs, taking his hands from my face and rubbing them over his own, looking away from me. “My father is a sadistic asshole of the worst kind. He takes great pleasure from hurting others, he fucking gets off on it, and the thing that really gets him hard is taking control. He’s been training me to take over from him in every aspect of Black Knight, from the moment Luc was…gone,” he tells me, his voice tight and face full of anger, hitching painfully when he mentions his brother. “He first needs to break me to build me back up in his image. I’m just so tired, Lilly, so exhausted from it all. The responsibility, the lack of control, the not knowing if I’ll be enough to save my brothers. To save you.”
He looks at me as he says the last part, and my heart stops dead at the look of despair on his face.
“Why do you need to save me, Ash?” I can’t help asking, my heart pounding with dark premonition and my mouth has suddenly gone dry.
“He’s interested in you, they all are, and I don’t fucking know why, Lilly!” he says, his voice rising with frustration and his eyes going a little wild searching the room as if he’ll find the answers in here. His hands are flexing at his sides, like he wants to wrap them around his father’s throat.
“Hey,” I say, bringing him back to face me. “It’ll be okay. You have us to help with whatever you need. You’re not alone, Ash, we will get through this together.”
“You don’t know that, Lilly. How can you know that?” he asks, almost angrily. His grey eyes are full of fire, a fire built of a crippling lack of confidence.
“Because I love you, Ash, and I’m not leaving you,” I retort back, my own conviction matching his. “You’re mine, and I’ve claimed you, and I’ll destroy anyone who hurts any of you,” I tell him, deadly serious, my chest rapidly rising and falling with my almost panting breaths.
He stops, staring at me with an intense look over his beautiful features that makes his face sharp and savage. We’re both breathing hard, and I can see in his eyes that he’s not in the right place to believe me, to believe what I’m saying yet.
Before he can say another word, I cut in. “Would you like a distraction, Ash? Would you like your control back?” I ask, and I don’t miss the way his nostrils flare, and his pupils start to widen, his anger transforming into lust.
I stand up, seeing the crumpled heap of his trousers on the floor. He really was in a state to leave them like that. Leaning over, I pick up his phone from the nightstand, and find Use Me by PVRIS, hitting play and feeling the beat wash over me. I walk over to his discarded trousers and bend down, taking his black leather belt out of the belt loops.
I thread the tail end through the buckle, leaving a loop big enough for one wrist before taking the tail back through creating a figure of eight. I then take the end through the buckle, framing both loops once more.
Thank you, hot guys of TikTok!
Placing my hands through the loops so that the cuffs now sit on my wrists, I look up to catch Ash’s grey molten gaze.
‘Place your hands with your wrists facing each other, Princess. Wouldn’t want you to get permanently damaged. Otherwise, who will jack me off later,’ Ash says with a smirk on face.
I adjust my hands according to his instructions, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I bring them up to my mouth, grasping the end with my teeth and pulling.
“Not too tight,” he orders. “Make sure you can move your hands.” I wriggle them to check, earning a satisfied grunt.
Holding his gaze, I sink down to my knees, my wrists now bound before me. Lowering my eyes, I break our stare, giving him the ultimate act of submission.
I’m panting, my heart racing, and my silk shorts damp at the crotch. I love to submit to Ash, handing him complete control frees me in a way that nothing else does. I’m unshackled from the pain that lives in my heart, from the thoughts of my past that try to plague my mind. And he needs the control more than ever tonight.
His bare feet come into view of my lowered gaze, and even the top of them are tattooed in stunning tribal patterns.
“You will come to me exactly like this when I use our code word,” his low voice sends shivers down my spine. “I’ll provide better restraints.”
“Yes, sir,” I say softly back, loving this game.
“Good girl,” he praises. “Now, Princess, look up at me, and open that pretty mouth of yours.”
I don’t bother to suppress a moan of desire, heat flooding through my entire body like a wave crashing against the shore. I do as he orders, slowly raising my head, and taking in every gorgeous inch of his tattooed body. My eyes alight on his now naked crotch, his hard dick standing proud from a nestle of black curls. I can see the white of the bandage on his thigh in my peripheral vision, but I try not to think about that, just focusing on the here and now.
Licking my lips, I open my mouth as instructed and wait for his next command.
He brings his tip to my mouth, painting my lips with his precum, and my tongue darts out to lick the salty fluid.
“You’re going to take me all the way in until you’re choking on my cock and your eyes water. Put that sharp tongue of yours to good use. I’m going to fuck your mouth and fill you up with my hot cum,” his voice is low and raspy, filled with need, and his dirty talk makes a groan leave my lips as he starts to push his big dick into my mouth, pausing when he’s hitting the back of my throat, and then pushing in some more.
He holds there, staring down at me as I struggle to breathe around him. My pussy drips with how much I’m enjoying this. I whimper around him as he starts to pull back out, and I can finally take a full gasping breath.
My bound hands start to make their way to my silk-clad core, and I’m not surprised to find I’m dripping wet, my shorts soaked. A groan of pleasure escapes me as I start to rub my clit through the fabric teasingly.
I swirl my tongue in the same motion as my fingers, a deep moan escaping his lips, as one of his hands comes up to tangle in my hair. He uses it to hold on, yet unlike Jax and Loki, Ash is all about control of the mind, and he wants me to follow the letter of his command totally, so he doesn’t force my head down.
I start to take him back in, pausing when he reaches the back of my throat again, before coming back up. My tongue plays around, swirling and flicking in time with the fingers I’m trying to use on myself.
“Fuck, Lilly, yes, that’s it,” Ash moans out, his hand gripping my hair tighter as I pick up my rhythm, bobbing my head up and down along his shaft, saliva dripping down my chin as I work his length.
I’m so close to coming myself, it’s torture. A wicked idea pops into my mind, and I love the rebellious nature of it. Managing to push the silk aside, I coat my fingers in my own juices. Then, reaching up between his legs, my index finger circles his puckered hole.
“Lilly…” he growls out as I take him all the way into my mouth, and at the same time, gently start to push my finger into his hole. I hear him gasp in pleasure so I keep going, crooking my finger, massaging his perineum from the inside, whilst sucking his dick.
Within moments, his cock becomes as hard as steel in my mouth seconds before he climaxes with a roar, pouring his hot release down my throat. I greedily swallow his whole load, sucking every last drop from him.
Tugging on my hair, I release his dick with a pop and withdraw my finger, causing another gasp to leave his lips. He keeps pulling me up until I’m standing in front of him, both our chests heaving.
“Naughty, Princess,” he pants out, his grip angling my head so that he can press his lips against mine, in a searing hot kiss that merges our fucking souls together. And damn if the thought that he’s tasting himself doesn’t make me drip a little more.
He breaks away, and I can’t help but sass him.
“But you liked it, didn’t you?” I say with a cheeky grin, a brow raised cockily.
His steely eyes narrow, then he suddenly picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, in a move that reminds me of Jax, walking us over to the bed.
“Ash!” I screech as he throws me down onto the covers, and I land with a bounce, my wrists still bound with his belt.
Devil I Know by Allie X starts to play, making Ash smirk.
He walks to his bedside cabinet, opening the bottom drawer, and takes out several neatly tied bundles of thin black rope. Getting onto the bed, he straddles my hips, his naked skin burning every part of me that it touches. I can see that he is already semi hard—seriously, there must be something in the water here that gives guys the ability to become erect on command! Unbuckling his belt from around my wrists, he carefully sets it aside, before grabbing one hand and stretching my arm out.
Taking one of the bundles, he unravels the rope and starts to wrap it around my wrist, face intent as he begins to tie a series of complicated knots. I’m still able to move until he begins to tie the ends to one of the bedposts. There’s a beauty to his movements, and I can feel myself getting wetter with each pass of the rope until I’m vibrating with unadulterated need.
He does the same with the other wrist and then moves down the bed to do the same with both ankles, until I’m spread eagled for him and pinned down. I give an experimental tug, discovering that although the rope doesn’t tighten, it does hold me in place completely, rendering me pretty much immobile.
He looks down at me from his position at the end of the bed, a satisfied gleam in his eyes as he takes me in, open before him. I’m still wearing my navy silk shorts and cami, the feel of the fabric against my overheated skin almost unbearable, and I shift squirming and trying to find relief.
I look down at him, my breathing shallow. His inked beauty makes my breath catch every fucking time my eyes alight on him, my heart fluttering. I watch as he gets fully hard again from just looking at me. His eyes meet mine, and the look of desire and need in them, causes my heart to skip a beat inside my chest, my body flooding with excited anticipation.
“Now remember, Princess,” he begins in that deliciously sinful voice of his. “If your hands or feet start to tingle, or go numb, you tell me straight away. And your safe word is red. Tell me what your safe word is?”
“Red, but, Ash, please,” I beg, trying and failing to ease the ache between my thighs.
A sardonic smile lifts one corner of his lips as he continues to take me in, looking like he plans to leave me in this agony.
Looks like you can’t take the bastard out of the boy after all.
Getting off the bed, he walks across the room to his desk, opens a drawer, and takes out a huge fucking knife that looks wicked sharp. My heart rate picks up at the sight of him walking back towards me with it, a thread of excitement laced with fear running through me.
Climbing up onto the bed, he settles himself between my spread legs.
“Probably should have stripped you before tying you up…” he mutters, but not like he cares much about the oversight, as he brings the knife to the lacy hem of my shorts.
“Ash, don’t you fucking dare!” I warn him, as I realise what he’s planning on doing. The fucker just smiles, lifting my shorts up with the blade.
“Don’t move, Princess,” he orders as he starts to cut the silk from hem to waistband. I stay still, fuming as he finishes that side and starts on the other, cutting my shorts off my body.
“You boys owe me some new fucking PJs,” I grumble when he whips the pieces of silk from under me.
He then looks to my cami top.
“I’ll buy you a thousand sets, Princess, but I’ll just keep cutting them off,” he promises like the arsehole that he is.
He then cuts right up the middle of my top, in between my breasts. He finishes by slicing the straps so that I’m completely naked and tied up underneath him.
“Perfect,” he sighs, leaning over and jamming the knife into the wooden headboard, leaving it sticking out and bobbing with the force of his thrust.
I can’t help it, I reach up and bite one of his nipples, hard. Any normal person might squeak, or shout. Not Ash. He moans in pleasure, rubbing his now fully erect cock along my lower stomach, and I can feel the wetness of precum smearing across my skin.
I release him and am satisfied to see indents of my teeth marking him.
“Naughty girl,” he whispers, rubbing his thumb along my lower lip as he looks down on me.
Then he crawls off the bed, walks across the room, opens the door, and walks out.
What the ever loving fuck?!