By Frenzy I Ruin (Sins of the Fathers Book 5)

A headache hammered in my skull, and a rotten cotton candy taste filled my mouth. I shifted. Cold steel engulfed my wrists. My arms were stretched backward over a wooden chair.

Any sense of drunkenness dropped away, and my body sprang into high alert as my eyes shot open with blinding pain as light hit my sensitive irises. A wooden chair wouldn’t stop me, especially because my legs weren’t bound. I could use the broken chair legs to spear the fuckers who’d captured me.

How the fuck was that even possible?

I tried to remember last night but came up with a lot of nothing.

“Got your beauty sleep?” Alessio’s voice filtered into my brain. My head swiveled around, finding Alessio and Massimo leaning against the wall of a decrepit basement. A new wave of pain shot through my head and down my spine. Fuck. I didn’t particularly mind pain, but in combination with the remaining dizziness from alcohol and the queasy feeling in my stomach, it was a shit show.

My friends were still in yesterday’s clothes. Glancing down my body, I realized I was only in boxers. I tilted my head up with a grin. “What is going on? Is this a new sick challenge you want to put me through? I would have thought you’d take away my boxers too.”

“They were clean. No need to get rid of them,” Massimo clipped. Something in his body language told me this wasn’t for fun, and Alessio’s eyes didn’t reflect his usual mirth either.

I leaned back, fucking confused. “What the fuck is going on?”

“You had vomit all over your pants, and your shirt was gone.”

I couldn’t imagine that I’d thrown up. I’d never thrown up, no matter how much I’d consumed. I preferred to stay in control of my body, even if yesterday had been a huge exception. Well, not an exception, but a rare occurrence.

I tugged at the metal cuffs. “Unlock them. I’m not in the mood for this humorless game.”

Massimo shoved away from the wall. “The girl you were with threw up, and some of it landed on you.”

I grimaced. I needed to up my standards when it was time for my next pussy fix.

“You passed out beside her.”

I shook my head. “Impossible. I would never lose consciousness beside a stranger.”

Alessio shook his head, a look of annoyance passing his face. “I’m outside for a smoke. I’m not in the mood for him right now.”

Massimo stopped right before me and his expression pissed me off. “She wasn’t a stranger.”

I didn’t understand what the fuck he meant. I considered everyone outside of our inner circle as strangers. “You’re full of bullsh—”

An image of a familiar tearstained face flashed before my eyes. I blinked, sure my drunk and stoned brain was messing with me. Nino and Massimo had often warned me of the risks of marijuana. Maybe this was it. As quickly as the face had come, it was gone until I wasn’t sure it had been there in the first place.

I narrowed my eyes at Massimo. “I don’t remember.”

Massimo shook his head as if I’d disappointed him greatly. “You usually own up to your mistakes.”

“What mistake?” I growled, my insides boiling dangerously. Despite the awkward angle my arms were forced into by the chair, I shoved to my feet. Why was he playing righteous now? We both knew he wasn’t a knight in shining armor either, even if he liked to play one around Carlotta. “I fucked a girl who wanted to be fucked.”

Again, the face flashed before me. I chose to ignore it. My mind was fucking with me. End of story.

“We both know Aurora wants many things from you. A disappointing, quick fuck is not it.”

I raced backward, smashing the chair against the wall. My arms and wrists ached from the impact. Massimo watched, unimpressed. “I wouldn’t have—” I shut up. “Unlock these fucking cuffs. Now.”

Massimo pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the cuffs without a word.

“Did she tell you I fucked her?”

“No.”

“Did you see me fucking her?”

“No.”

I rolled my eyes. “Asshole. Being a genius doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“I know what happened because I wasn’t shit-faced and can read a situation.”

I flipped him off, done with his bullshit. “Where is she? I need to talk to her.”

“She spent the night at Carlotta’s, which was probably for the best, considering her state. If Fabiano had seen her, things would have gotten very unpleasant.”

“Take me there.”

“No. You need a shower. And Diego won’t let you in half naked. He’ll call your dad, and we don’t want that.”

I really didn’t care about Diego or Dad right now. I wanted to hear last night’s story from Rory. She wouldn’t exaggerate things or make things up. I could trust her recount, as long as my memory was a fucking elusive diva.

“I’m getting you home now, and then you can try to talk to her later if she lets you.”

I gave him a look. Aurora had never refused to talk to me. She wouldn’t now. Whatever Massimo had thought he’d seen was wrong.

So what if Aurora had lain beside me in bed? She had been dressed, and I was probably naked because I’d fucked someone else. No fucking clue why she’d cried. Maybe because she’d embarrassed herself by throwing up. She had a tendency to be a klutz around me.

I followed Massimo out to his car and got in. Alessio wasn’t around anymore. Massimo didn’t elaborate and just revved the engine and hit the gas.

The mansion was still quiet when we walked in. That didn’t mean no one was up, though. It was past eight, so Nino was definitely up for his morning swim. Massimo disappeared into his family’s wing, and I dashed toward my room. I wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation with Dad now. Though I doubted he’d ask questions only because I was half naked and stinking of vomit. He was used to a lot from me. Nothing probably fazed him anymore when it came to me.

I stumbled into my bathroom and shoved down my boxers. A familiar scent hit me. I’d always been sensitive to certain scents. They caught my attention and spoke to some part of me that scared many. Alessio joked I was probably a freak of nature with shark DNA. But I simply loved the scent of blood. Not just the scent. It’s texture, it’s warmth when it came out of a body. It’s color, both fresh and oxidized.

And now I smelled blood. I stared down my body and found my cock covered in a fine sheen of oxidized blood. My nostrils flared, and beneath the two dominating scents of vomit and blood, another scent caught my attention. I sank down on the edge of the tub, glaring down my body.

Aurora.

She always smelled of light. I almost gagged at my assessment, but that was the only thing I could think of when remembering Aurora’s scent. It was light, pure, good, innocent.

I ran a hand through my hair, then tugged hard at it. I needed my fucking memory back. What the fuck had happened last night? Fuck.

I showered for a long time, but my memory remained a black hole. That thought only reminded me of Alessio’s favorite comparison, and that dampened my mood further. Eventually, I stumbled toward my bed and fell face-first on top of it. Then everything turned black again.

When I woke next, it was afternoon. My headache was still there and so was the loss of my memory.

I stared up at the ceiling. Maybe I should call Greta. Every other woman in this house would guilt-trip me, but Greta never did. I also needed to talk to Aurora. I closed my eyes again. I wasn’t a runner. I didn’t run from anything, not even problems. I was the hunter, and I preferred it that way, but this damn thing with Aurora was something I wanted to run from. The problem was things like that didn’t just vanish into thin air. They festered.

My door creaked. Before I could sit up and open my eyes—I’d never drink and smoke that much again—something smashed against my face, and cold water spilled all over me.

I was wide awake immediately and catapulted myself out of bed. Giulio snickered, his fuck-face alight with mirth. Fuck, I hated kids, and he wasn’t even a small kid anymore. I ripped a Ninjutsu from the wall beside me—dozens of the spiked throw stars decorated my room, some of them several hundred years old—and hurled it at my brother. His eyes widened as he dashed away. The spikes impaled themselves in the doorframe after nicking the skin of his upper arm. Grabbing three more Ninjutsus, I chased Giulio.

“You can run, but you can’t hide!” I shouted when he stormed down the staircase. He wasn’t a little chicken, so he wouldn’t run to Mom or Dad for help. That was one of the little shit’s few positive traits.

When I caught sight of him again—he was fucking fast, and I was still incapacitated—I hurled two more stars at him in quick succession.

My aim was a little off too, considering my vision wasn’t 100 percent yet, but one star left another cut on his upper arm, and the second ripped a hole into his pants and cut one of his ass cheeks. He cried out but didn’t stop running. Blood drops littered the floor, leaving a trail like breadcrumbs.

“If you kill me, Mom and Dad will be pissed!” Giulio shouted.

“They’ll get over it.”

He rushed out of our part of the wing and through the common room where Kiara, Mom, and Gemma sat on the couches with Luna and Caterina, Savio and Gemma’s daughters.

“Giulio’s bleeding!” one of them piped. They sounded too much alike to distinguish their whiny voices.

“Nevio! Stop it right this moment!” Mom shrieked.

I jerked to a halt and catapulted my last Ninjutsu at Giulio, cutting his other arm too.

The star ended up in the wooden cabinet behind my brother. He came to a stop too. Both his sleeves were ripped and ruined with blood, and his pants didn’t look much better either. I dripped water all over the floor.

Mom’s face was purple with fury. She staggered toward me with a look of utter disbelief. “Have you lost your mind? You could have killed your brother with those stars. What if you’d hit his throat? Or an artery in his leg?”

“I didn’t aim at his thigh but at his ass, and his arms are far enough from his throat. I simply taught him a little lesson.”

“And what would that be?” Mom seethed.

Kiara and Gemma were checking Giulio’s wounds, who squirmed under their insistent care.

“That he shouldn’t throw things at me if he doesn’t want to have things thrown at him.”

Mom scanned my soaked state. “What he did was a stupid prank. What you did was risky stupidity.”

I flashed her a smile even as the engagement of so many facial muscles sent a new stab of pain through my skull.

“I’m fine,” Giulio whined when Kiara called Nino with her cell.

“What did I do to deserve this?” Mom sighed.

“You fell in love with your kidnapper, which is never advisable,” I offered.

Mom gave me a look that suggested she wasn’t as opposed to violence as she liked to pretend. She’d never raised her hand against Giulio or me, even if we’d given her plenty of reason to give us a thrashing. I admired her for it. I couldn’t even fathom how much self-control that required. Dad at least got to kick my ass during fight training.

Nino entered the room, followed by Massimo. They looked from Giulio to me, to the star in the cabinet, then back to Giulio.

Nino didn’t comment, but the tight set of his lips suggested he had no interest in knowing the details.

Massimo went over to the cabinet and pulled out my Ninjutsu after some jolting. He inspected it closely and shook his head. “This masterpiece survived five-hundred years without a scratch, and you have it less than a year, and now it needs restoration.”

“He cut me with it,” Giulio said indignantly.

“What a waste of a beautiful art piece,” Massimo said dryly.

“Is it too early for wine?” Mom asked as she sank on the armrest.

Nino prodded at my brother’s cuts and shook his head. “If your intention was to cause your brother lasting pain, your aim is miserable. None of these need stitches.”

“Look at his butt. I put more effort into that one,” I said.

Giulio backed away. “I’m not showing my butt in front of everyone.”

“You moon people all the time. Since when do you possess any shame?” Caterina muttered. She and Luna still played some ludicrous board game with plenty of pink and unicorns.

“Come to the infirmary, and I’ll take a closer look,” Nino said in a clipped voice that made Giulio follow him without protest.

“Keep me updated,” I called, then headed for the kitchen. I needed a coffee with a double espresso shot and maybe a few energy drinks for breakfast.

Steps followed me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Massimo. Mom didn’t have the patience to deal with me now. And Kiara had long given up her lovey-dovey approach with me.

“Wait with your lecture until I’m caffeinated,” I growled and pulled myself a coffee, then two shots from our automatic coffee machine.

“Did you set my brother up to this?” I asked after finishing the cup, motioning at my wet state.

Massimo raised one eyebrow. “Alessio told him you needed a rude wake-up call.”

“How about you and Alessio stay out of my fucking business?”

“Not if your business jeopardizes the solidarity of the Scuderi-Falcone families.”

I rolled my eyes and regretted it immediately. “Don’t exaggerate.”

Massimo narrowed his eyes. “This is serious, Nevio. This could spiral out of control. Fabiano and Leona won’t take it kindly if they find out what you did.”

“I don’t remember a fucking thing,” I muttered. “I was stinking drunk.”

“I doubt that’s an excuse anyone’s going to listen to. Try to clear things up with Aurora.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” He knew everything. Maybe he had a fucking solution to this problem too.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Massimo said.

I pulled myself another coffee. “Aurora wants something I can’t give her. Maybe now she realizes how much of a messed-up asshole I am. Maybe it’s the solution to everything.”

Massimo didn’t comment, and I was glad he kept his opinion to himself for once.

I rarely had trouble falling asleep. My conscience didn’t plague me, and many of my nightly activities worked off enough energy to let me sleep like a fucking rock. Tonight, however, I found myself staring up at my ceiling. Only the sliver of moonlight peeking through the curtains allowed me to see schemes in my room. I tried to remember details from last night. Pressing my palms against my temples, I went over what I remembered. My conversation with Aurora where I told her to stay away from me and go home. That obviously hadn’t worked.

A new image barreled through the blackness. An image of long legs beside my head. Of golden blond strands on a gray pillowcase. Then another flash and blue eyes locked on mine. Fuck, the look in them. Had she looked at me that way? And I hadn’t even realized it was her. Or maybe I had, and the alcohol had only let the rotten part of me act. Another flash, still those blue eyes, but this time filled with tears and pain. My memory became black. That was probably when I’d passed out.

Remembering her eyes was the worst.

Aurora

“How do you feel?” Carlotta asked when I entered the kitchen in the morning. We were alone. Diego had probably already left for some Camorra duty, for which I was infinitely glad. He would ask questions that I had no intention of answering.

Carlotta and I had been best friends all of our lives. I couldn’t imagine I’d ever feel I couldn’t face or share my feelings with her. This was probably a low in my life so far, so it was only fitting that she was by my side in the aftermath.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly as I trudged toward her. She was preparing scrambled eggs in a big pan. Enough for ten people, not just the two of us. She turned down the heat and put aside the spatula, then angled her body toward me, her expression compassionate. “I’m sorry this happened.”

I nodded because I was too. I should have left the party sooner and stayed away from Nevio. My belly plummeted just thinking of him. Heartache, embarrassment, and anger rushed through me. Last night had been the worst night of my life. I swallowed hard and wrapped my arms around my chest. The deep hollowness I felt there was worse than the burn between my legs.

The latter would probably remind me of my bad decisions for days to come every time I had to pee.

“Massimo won’t tell a living soul.” It was very fitting that she limited her statement in that regard because, in Massimo’s case, it wasn’t unlikely he shared information during an autopsy. The Unholy Trinitiy’s and especially his fascination with dead bodies and the morgue was infamous.

My cheeks still burned, thinking of how Massimo had found me.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but I was starting to feel sick again. Maybe because the room stank of my vomit, or because my vagina ached fiercely, or because I felt like the biggest idiot on this planet. Nevio still hadn’t stirred from where he was sprawled out beside me, breathing evenly, blissfully passed out. I wished I’d pass out too.

Though I really didn’t want to be found in my current situation. Our circle was a cesspool of gossip, and this piece of chatter would equal an atomic bomb.

The door opened, and Massimo appeared before I could push myself into a sitting position or figure out what was happening. I was glad I’d covered myself with my skirt, but the situation was still compromising, and Massimo was too intelligent.

His keen eyes took in the scene and probably figured out every little detail of my mortification.

Carlotta’s face framed in her dark curls peeked past Massimo’s broad frame. Her eyes grew wide, and she squeezed past Massimo and rushed into the room. Massimo closed the door, for which I was grateful. I didn’t need anyone else to see me like this.

“Rory, what happened?” Carlotta asked after a disparaging look at Nevio, who still hadn’t stirred. I’d never seen him this out of it. He probably wouldn’t remember a thing tomorrow. I almost choked on laughter. Had I really thought tonight would end with an epiphany for him?

I sat up, curling my lips when I realized I had splatters of vomit on my arm and leg. My shirt wasn’t unscathed either. I cringed.

“I’ll see if the bathroom is clear so you can help Aurora clean up. Once you’re done, go down to my car. I’ll be there in a bit,” Massimo said. He barely looked at me as he headed for Nevio, already picking up his phone, probably to call Alessio for backup. “You have to come upstairs, the second bedroom on the left.”

He hung up and moved past us into the corridor. He hammered against the bathroom door and scared away a couple of girls I didn’t know.

“Thank you,” Carlotta said as she led me inside.

He gave a curt nod, then closed the bathroom door, and Carlotta locked it. I sank down on the edge of the tub, and the tears started flowing freely again. S~ᴇaʀᴄh the Findɴovel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Carlotta dipped a washcloth under water, then sank down beside me and began to clean my face, arms, and legs. “Rory, what did he do?”

The undercurrent of fear and anger in her voice told me she was thinking the wrong thing. “It’s not what you think. He didn’t force me.”

I stopped because even I couldn’t describe what had happened between us.

“You slept together?”

I closed my eyes. “He passed out the moment he was in me.” I cringed when the words left me. I’d fantasized about having my first time with Nevio. This wasn’t even in the same hemisphere as my fantasy. I opened my eyes to see embarrassment and compassion reflected on Carlotta’s face. We rarely talked about sex since neither of us was really comfortable with the topic, but I needed to get it off my chest, and she was the only one I could talk to about this.

“You can now say I told you so.”

Carlotta shook her head with a look of annoyance. “Not like this, not now.” She rubbed my back. “Will you tell someone?”

I shook my head because it wouldn’t change a thing. It’d only make the situation ten times worse. “I want to pretend this never happened and just move on.” After a look at Carlotta’s doubtful face, I added, “I know it’ll be hard to move on.”

“You see Nevio every day. Your feelings won’t magically disappear because he acted like an asshole. He’s been doing that for years, and you still fell for it.”

“Ouch,” I whispered.

“Rory, you really look like a mess.”

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” I asked, worried Dad or Mom would pick up on something, and then there would be hell to pay. Dad loved the Falcones, but this would ruin everything. I wouldn’t be responsible for a fallout.

“Of course,” Carlotta said softly. “But your dad won’t be happy if you don’t come home tonight.”

“Massimo can tell him a lie, and if he wants confirmation that I’m with you, Dad can call your brother.”

Carlotta nodded. When we headed downstairs, nobody really paid us much attention. A friend accompanying another friend who had had too much to drink and looked like shit wasn’t worth a story.

On our way to Massimo’s car, I spotted Alessio and Massimo with Nevio between them, dragging him down the sidewalk. They opened the trunk of the pickup and shoved Nevio inside.

I was glad I wouldn’t have to see Nevio’s face while Massimo took us to Carlotta’s home. I wasn’t sure I could ever face him again.

“Do you think Nevio remembers?” I asked miserably. I wasn’t sure which option I preferred.

Carlotta let out a huff. “I’m sure Massimo will talk to him. Massimo was furious.”

I wasn’t the only one being delusional when it came to the other sex. If Massimo was pissed, then because Nevio wasn’t in control of himself. Not because of me.

“What are you going to do now?” Carlotta asked as we settled at the table, each with a giant portion of scrambled eggs. I wasn’t really hungry, especially when I remembered the taste of my burger as I threw it up, but I didn’t want to let Carlotta’s efforts go to waste. I shoved a bite of eggs into my mouth.

“You need to get over him.”

I gave her a sardonic smile. “I know, trust me, and I’m on my way.” Then I amended. “I’m at the very beginning of a long way.” I sighed and speared another piece of egg, wishing it were Nevio’s privates. “I think I need some space. I can’t stay here.”

Carlotta nodded. “You want to babysit Roman again?”

I had arranged to travel with the racing circus again for two weeks this summer to babysit Roman. I loved the sense of freedom offered by that lifestyle. “That had been the plan, but two weeks aren’t enough. I need more time, more space. I was thinking of asking Aunt Aria if I can spend the summer with them and maybe do an internship with the Famiglia doctor.”

Even if I had originally planned to go to college for a nursing degree, my backup plan had been to intern with our Camorra doc, but the Famiglia doc was a valid option too.

Carlotta’s eyes grew wide. “Do you really think your dad will allow it?”

Dad was protective of me, but Mom wasn’t as strict. And Dad trusted me. He knew I wasn’t a troublemaker, which was another reason he couldn’t find out about last night. I’d be grounded for eternity. Nobody in the Camorra would care that I was practically an adult.

“If I say the right thing…”

“Aren’t you worried he’ll get suspicious?”

“He can’t ever find out. No one can.”

Carlotta bit her lip. “If you ever marry…”

Of course Carlotta’s thought would go in that direction. For her, entering marriage as a virgin was of utmost importance. I flushed. “I don’t have any plans to marry any time soon.” I still couldn’t imagine being with anyone but Nevio, which was exactly why I needed to get as far away as possible as soon as possible.

“Rory, did he use protection?”

I froze. “No. I mean…I don’t think so. I didn’t really pay attention.” I swallowed. “But like I said he passed out…”

Carlotta still looked concerned, and I was too. Even if the chances were very slim, they were there. I knew enough about conception and contraception to realize that pregnancy could occur without the man having an actual orgasm.

“When is your period due?”

“In around ten to twelve days.”

My stomach tightened. I didn’t even want to consider that by some stroke of bad luck, my miserable first time—if it even qualified as that—would lead to lifelong consequences in the form of a child. Nevio’s child.

This would definitely end Dad’s close bond with the Falcones.

Scratch that. It would end in several deaths…