Burnout (The Holland Brothers Book 1)

“You’re staring again.”

“I am not.” I tear my gaze away from Knox. Oh, I was absolutely staring. But that’s just because I want to know where he is at all times so I can avoid him.

I can’t believe he thought he could show up here today and play nice like he wasn’t a complete asshole to me yesterday.

“Liar.” Quinn glances over the top of her heart-shaped sunglasses and smiles all too knowingly. “I get it. He’s hot. Stare away. In fact, I think you should go over there and make out with him.”

I scoff. “Absolutely not. I’d rather die having never had sex again than let him touch me.”

“Bite your tongue!” My friend gasps and flails her arm out to punch me in the shoulder. We’re lying side by side in lounge chairs, soaking up the last rays of the day. I should probably put more sunscreen on. I can feel my skin burning, but this is likely the last weekend pool hang for a while. Now that practices have started, each week will just get more intense before competitions start early next year.

And since I’m still not back one hundred percent from my injury, I have a long road ahead of me. Lots of extra sessions equals less time for things like this.

Quinn sits up and turns so her legs hang over one edge of the chair. “I’m going to take a dip in the pool.”

“Have fun,” I singsong, and then watch as she steps into the shallow end where Colter is hanging with some friends, Knox included. Her boyfriend pulls her in front of him, wrapping both arms around her waist, all while continuing to talk. They’re cute.

I close my eyes behind my sunglasses and relax. Something about lying out in the sun, music playing, people talking and having fun all around me, is just what I needed today. That jerk Knox is the exclusion from that dream scenario, obviously.

I’m about to turn over onto my stomach when a shadow falls over me. I open my eyes from their half-closed state and find the exclusion staring down at me.

“What do you want?” I ask, closing my eyes again. If I don’t look at him, I can’t be annoyed at how hot he is. Jerks shouldn’t be allowed to be hot.

I feel him, more than see him, take the lounge chair that Quinn abandoned not long ago. “Just working on my tan.”

“Can’t you do that from across the yard?” I ask, then add quieter, “Or from the other side of town?”

“I’m sorry about last night.”

That makes my eyes open a crack. My head falls to the side, and I take in his expression. “You sound sincere, and you look sincere, but I still don’t believe you.”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“So, you meant that I’m too girly to be serious about working out?”

“That isn’t what I said.”

“Close enough,” I mumble, focusing my attention forward again. He said I looked like I’d die if I broke a nail. Seriously? Like girls can’t be feminine and also badass. What a prick.

“You weren’t that nice either, if you recall,” he says.

“I’m not the one who was asking a favor.”

“Fair.” That’s all he says for a couple of minutes, and I think that’s the end of it and we’re going to sit here in silence until he gets bored with me, but then his voice returns, quieter this time. “I’m not good at asking for help. I hate it, actually. I’d do just about anything to avoid asking anyone for anything. So yeah, I was a jerk, and I said some shitty things. Most of which weren’t about you at all, but I said them, and I’ll own up to that. I am sorry though, whether you believe me or not.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply, not that I could form one while I’m playing his words over and over again, trying to make sense of them. Knox gets up and jumps into the pool a few feet in front of me, into the deep end. Water splashes onto my toes.

My anger has dissipated, and I’m left only with a weird sense of sadness that I can’t quite put my finger on. Then I’m annoyed that one apology, where he admitted he was a jerk, has me softening toward him. This is why jerks shouldn’t be allowed to be hot. It’s an unfair advantage.

I flip onto my stomach and bury my face into the side of my shoulder so there’s no chance of my stare going to him unintentionally. “I’d do just about anything to avoid asking anyone for anything.”

Why? No, scratch that. I don’t care.

Seconds tick by like they’re wading through quicksand. With a groan I stand and scan the yard until I find him. He’s in the middle of the pool, back to me, talking to the redheaded rider, Brooklyn. I can’t see his expression, but she’s smiling at him like he isn’t the biggest jerk on the planet.

Before I can talk some sense into myself, I climb into the pool and wade toward him. I’m not a great swimmer, despite having always loved being near water. While my friends were taking swim lessons in the summer, my parents doubled up on gymnastics practice.

The water is only five feet where he’s standing, but I’m not much taller than that so I have to bob and tread, not so gracefully, to wait next to him long enough for him to notice.

Brooklyn sees me first, and when her gaze shifts, so does his.

I don’t say anything. Mostly because I didn’t think this through at all.

“I’m going to get another beer,” the pretty redhead says when the silence turns awkward. She backs away and then swims toward the ladder.

My arms and legs are working hard to keep me afloat while Knox stands in front of me and waits for me to say something. His dark eyes are glued to me and his brown hair is darker from the water. He’s muscular, tattoos all over his chest and arms, and he has a small barbell through one nipple.

Remembering why I came over, I open my lips to speak and take in a mouthful of water. Perfect. I’m going to drown yelling at this guy.

“Why are you sorry?” I ask once I can manage, moving my legs faster underneath me.

An arm comes out and wraps around my waist, and I’m hoisted to Knox’s side before I know what’s happening.

“What the hell?” I push off him, but his grip doesn’t budge. “Let me go.”

I push against him again to no avail. He’s strong and his body is hard under my touch. If he weren’t such an asshole, I might notice how his muscles wrap around his side and give him that nice V-cut where his red trunks hang off his hips. Or how in the sunlight his eyes have little flecks of gold.

I keep fighting him, but it’s like pushing against a brick wall.

“I’m sorry because I was a jerk,” he says.

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“Then, what did you mean?”

“Are we really going to have this conversation while you hold me hostage?” I kick my feet and wriggle, but he just slowly blinks at me like he isn’t bothered at all. He’s so close and the butterflies in my stomach don’t care that he’s a brute, they’re just excited he’s touching me.

Silently, he walks with me still clutched to his side as he moves into shallower water. My feet touch the bottom, and his hold loosens.

I put two feet of distance between us and adjust my top where it’s shifted, showing off some serious underboob. I’m not that busty, but this suit is so small that it barely holds my full B cups.

Knox doesn’t even pretend not to check me out.

“Do you just go around manhandling chicks?” I strive for annoyed, but my voice is breathy.

“As opposed to letting them drown, yeah.”

“I was fine.”

“Didn’t look fine, shortcake.” One corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk. A short joke, how original. Ugh. Why? Why couldn’t I have just left well enough alone? I don’t need to know why he said he was sorry. It can be one of those weird anomalies like a yeti sighting.

But I open my stupid mouth anyway. “Why are you apologizing now? Is it so I’ll forgive you and agree to help?”

“No.” He laughs. “There’s no way I’d take your help now.”

Wait, what? “Why not?”

“I’m confused.”

“A normal state for you?”

He chuckles, chest shaking with real amusement. “Cute. A dumb comment from a blonde.”

My jaw drops. “I’m not dumb.”

“Neither am I, princess.”

“And I am not a princess.”

He reaches out and tugs on one of my braids. “You look like Elsa.”

“Ooooh. The best Disney princess, good burn.” I cross my arms over my chest.

“You would know.”

Ugh. I drop my arms to my sides and take a step forward. “I’m good at what I do and I helped Colter. Why the sudden change of heart?”

Last night he was set on it, then he insulted me and I said no, and now he’s changed his mind?

“Aside from self-preservation?” His gaze drops from my face again, taking in my closed-off body language.

“I’m flattered you think I could harm you.”

“More like I don’t want to waste my time. I’ve got a limited amount of it, and I can’t afford to squander it fighting with you and not making any progress. Pity though. You’re sexy when you’re pissed off.” He winks. He actually freaking winks at me.

And is that supposed to be a compliment? Am I not sexy the rest of the time? Ugh, this man. I think he’s the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.

“Then why bother apologizing?”

“Seemed like the nice thing to do.”

“You aren’t nice.”

“Fine. I take it back. Happy?” He smirks like arguing with me is a perfectly pleasant way to pass an afternoon.

“No,” I grit out.

“Take the apology or don’t, princess, but you should put on some more sunscreen. You’re starting to burn.” He ducks down into the water until his shoulders disappear underneath the surface. He looks far less intimidating and almost playful, but I’m too keyed up to enjoy it.

After I get out of the pool and apply sunscreen—not because Knox told me to but because I was already thinking I needed to—I find Colter and Quinn sitting around an unlit firepit with a group of guys that are introduced as out-of-town riders. My friend gives up her seat for me and sits on Colter’s lap.

Knox stays away. He and Brooklyn seem to be hitting it off. Although she has some competition with a pretty brunette in a thong bikini with an impressive boob job. She sits at the edge of the pool showing off her body and smiling at him. He smiles right back. None of that earlier tension in his body is visible. He looks totally relaxed. Ugh. I hope she smothers him in her perfect, perky tits.

As the day ends, the mood of the party shifts. More people arrive, bringing new energy and making me feel zapped from the sun. Most of the people in the pool get out and sit around one of several fire features in the yard. There are three, plus another large seating area at the back of the yard.

Quinn and I pull on shorts over our suit bottoms, and Colter lets us raid the fridge in his house.

“Your nose is pink.” Quinn tosses two pretzels in her mouth as she stares at my face.

I bring a hand up and then grimace when my skin is warm to the touch. “Is it bad?”

She and Colter both shake their heads.

“Oh well, no one here to impress anyway,” I say.

“Hey. Some of my guys are cool as hell.” Colter looks between me and Quinn to back him up.

“Most of them are in relationships though,” Quinn says. “And that one kid is like seventeen.”

“He’s nineteen,” Colter insists.

“We’re not into anyone younger than us,” she says. “Right, Ave?”

“I guess.” I take a pretzel from the bag she’s holding.

“I saw you and Knox talking a couple of times.” She beams. “Spill.”

“There’s nothing to tell really.”

“I don’t care,” she says. “I want to know every word he said.”

I think back. “Umm…well, first he apologized, and then we argued over if he meant it or not. Then I think we insulted each other some more. He said I was sexy when I was pissed off, that he didn’t care if I accepted his apology or not, and that he no longer wanted my help because he couldn’t afford to waste time fighting with me. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few insults.”

“He said you were sexy?” The smile on Quinn’s face is way too excited. And her boyfriend’s matches.

“When I’m pissed off.” Which is really only around him.

“Still. That’s nice.”

“You’re sexy, baby,” Colter says to her.

She turns to face him. “Aww. You too.”

Colter drops a hand to one side of her neck and kisses her sweetly.

I take the bag of pretzels from Quinn without her noticing, hop up to sit on the counter, and chow down while I watch them be all cute.

My friend is flushed when they come up for air. I’m used to them being like this, so I pick up the conversation like nothing happened.

“No. He wasn’t trying to be nice. He also implied I was dumb because I’m blonde.” Only after I suggested he was, but I leave that part out. “He’s annoying. I swear he was getting off on it. I wonder if his mom knows he’s a chauvinistic asshole who insults women for fun.”

Colter shakes his head. “His mom died when he was pretty young, so doubtful. Although he’s always had a certain charm with the ladies.”

My heart stops beating, and I get the sick feeling in my stomach like when I’m midair on a dismount and know it’s not right or when I’ve put my foot in my giant mouth. I swallow the suddenly very dry pretzel crumbs. “I’m such a jerk. I had no idea.”

“Why would you?” Colter shrugs. “I know Knox isn’t sunshine and rainbows, but he’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot and his first instinct when his back is against the wall is to fight.”

“Makes sense,” Quinn says quietly. “I’d be a trainwreck if I’d lost a parent as a kid.”

“Agreed, but it’s not just that. He…”

Quinn and I are hanging on Colter’s every word, but he must think better of saying more because he shakes his head again. “Just cut him some slack, all right? For me? You don’t have to help him, but know that he has his reasons for not being the most easygoing guy.”

I manage to nod.

“Thanks,” Colter says, then stands straight. “I should get back outside. Some of the guys are going to head home tonight and I want to say goodbye.”

He and Quinn start for the door.

“You coming?” she asks, looking over her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out. I’m just going to splash some water on my face.”

When I return to the party the music is louder, some girls have started dancing, and people are back in the pool splashing around.

I find Knox by himself, standing near the back door of the main house. He’s pulled on a white T-shirt and is staring down at his phone as I approach. Slowly, his chin lifts.

“Princess,” he says by way of addressing me.

I take a cleansing breath and remind myself that I promised Colter I’d cut his friend some slack.

“I can’t promise that training with me won’t be a waste of time or that it will do for you what it did for Colter. Partly because I didn’t really set out to help him or anything, it just sort of happened, and because every time I talk to you, I end up wanting to strangle you. But I’m at the gym every evening until eight or so. If you can come by for an hour a few times a week, I’ll do my best to help.”

He says nothing, but his brows lift slightly.

I hold my breath. “Are you in?”