Built to Fall: Chapter 16
AS SOON AS WE TOUCHED DOWN IN DALLAS, we all went to work. We didn’t have the day to acclimate to the new city or take a breath. Dominic’s show was tonight, which meant doing press and fan meet-and-greets all afternoon.
I stayed by his side through it all, chugging coffee and Tylenol like it was part of my job description. I hadn’t been this hungover in forever, which was probably why I was this hungover. My body wasn’t used to this kind of abuse. It didn’t know how to recuperate.
If I could have crawled into bed for the day, I would have, but the show must go on. I’d survive on caffeine and dreams of cool sheets and black-out curtains.
“Does Marta have my food ready?” Dominic asked.
“Yes. She texted a few minutes ago. It’s in your dressing room at the venue,” I replied.
“All right.” He checked his phone for a second, then slipped it in his pocket and headed to the conference room door. “You can stay at the hotel. I won’t need you tonight.”
I hurried after him. “What do you mean? You don’t want me to go to the venue? To your show?”
“No. It’s not necessary.” He glanced at me under furrowed brows. “I can tell you’re not feeling great, even though you’ve been working hard to hide it. I’ll give you today to rest.”
“Why?” I found it hard to believe he would willingly take it easy on me. Dominic wasn’t nice—especially not to me.
“Because I don’t need you right now.” A low rumble vibrated his chest. “Do you want me to find work for you? Is that it?”
“No. You just surprised me and I’m reacting to that. I have things I can do.”
I tried to brush by him, but he caught me under the elbow. “Don’t work. Nurse your hangover.”
This man should have been a mob boss or a king of a small country instead of a rock star. He thought he ruled all he could see. Put a scepter in his hand instead of a guitar, and he’d be right at home.
I took my arm back with a tug. “You’re being very weird. More than usual.”
Obviously, I knew why things were strained between us and he wanted me out of his sight. I’d thrown myself at him, then he came all over my naked breasts. I hadn’t had an orgasm, and he hadn’t so much as touched me beyond kissing, but it had still been the hottest moment of my life.
“I thought I was being kind.” He shoved his hands in his pockets so hard, I was surprised his jeans didn’t rip apart.
I sighed, digging in my reserves for some bravery. “Nothing has to change because of last night. You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.”
His brows pinched together. “Are we talking about it?”
“No, we’re not.” I shook my head, a little grin on my lips. “Because if we do, you might say it can’t happen again, and I don’t want to hear that.”
His breath hitched, and he almost stumbled forward, barely catching himself from falling against me. “What do you mean?”
“It means I liked it a lot and I didn’t even get off.” I shrugged like I hadn’t a care in the world, when in reality, it had been nearly impossible for me to say the words. I only hoped I came off as relaxed as I was trying to portray.
The truth was, I would have never been able to do what I did last night while sober, and I had no intention of getting drunk anytime soon. But if I could have another taste of what happened last night with Dominic, I’d take it.
“Hmmm.” His features twisted in confusion. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Go back to your room. Rest.”
I nodded. “I will. If you’re sure…”
He paused, rubbing the center of his forehead as though he was physically jogging his memory. “I am. Enjoy your time off.”
I gave him a half-smile. “Good luck tonight, Dominic.”
We parted ways, and I retreated to my room, undressing and slipping into my pajamas even though it was only midday. I took a phone call from Isabela and typed up a press release at her direction, then I called Annaliese, leaving out Dominic jacking off on me for now. I didn’t have my head wrapped around the situation enough to talk about it, and she’d want to talk.
Finally done with work and catching up with my sister, I curled up in bed and turned on the TV, intent on watching something trashy and consuming. Of course, that was when Adam texted, asking to talk after his show tonight.
I’d been dreading this more than facing Dominic. I didn’t have a clue what I’d say, but I guess I could leave that up to him. I told him to come to my room when he got back to the hotel.
A few hours later, Adam tapped on my door. I answered, still in my pajamas, my hair piled on top of my head. He’d obviously showered and changed, with his wet hair and fresh smell.
“How was your show?” I asked once I let him inside.
“Great. Good crowd. We played well.” He rocked back on his heels and glanced around my room. “I royally fucked up last night.”
I canted my head. “In what way?”
“Claire,” he sighed. “I like you a lot, and I acted like such a dick. I was drunk and I did a line, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Adam, it’s fine. You don’t owe me anything.” I folded my arms around my middle. “Maybe close the door next time you’re hooking up, though.”
He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Dammit, I hate that you saw that.”
I scrunched up my face at the mental image of the writhing and tongues and…oh, if I could Eternal-Sunshine-of-the-Spotless-Minded one memory from my brain, it would be that one. “I kind of do too.”
He held his arms out to the side, then let them fall like heavy weights at his side. “Where do we go from here?”
I raised my shoulders. “We’re good, Adam. I’m not mad at you. Last night was cringey, but that’s all.”
He took a step toward me, dipping his head like he always did when he wanted to be on my eye level. “If the situation was reversed, I wouldn’t like it very much.”
He had no idea how reversed the situation had become. If he knew what I’d let Dominic do to me, he wouldn’t be feeling an ounce of remorse. I couldn’t really be mad at him anyway. Seeing him last night had awakened something inside me that had made me brave enough to stop holding back.
“We’ll be friends, right?” I rubbed my lips together, not to tempt him, but to gather my wits. “I want that.”
He brought his hand to the center of his chest, leaning his head away from me a bit. “I kinda thought we might be more. But yeah, guess I flushed that down the drain.”
“Sorry that being my friend is such a disappointment.” I rolled my eyes and swiveled away, taking two steps toward the bank of windows along the far wall. Adam caught me by the arm and spun me back around, making me laugh.
“See?” He pointed to my grinning mouth. “Those vibes are immaculate. Of fucking course I want to be your friend, Claire. Who wouldn’t?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Idiots?”
“Exactly. If we’re meant to be friends, I accept that. Maybe I’ll get to show you I’m not a gigantic douchebag along the way.”
“I don’t think you’re a gigantic douchebag. Just a minor one.”
He squeezed my arm once more before releasing me. “I deserve that. I really do.”
“I know you do. You gave that girl way more beads than me. I mean, jeez, Adam, break my heart why don’t you.”
It was easy to make a joke of it now, but I couldn’t lie and say I hadn’t been hurt last night. Not heartbroken, but certainly let down. And after everything I’d been through with Derrick, being let down by a man, even in a small way, knocked some wind out of my recovery.
Adam snorted and looked away, scrubbing the corners of his mouth. “God, I’m such a screw-up. I’m really sick over knowing you saw that. Rodrigo has been going after me all day.”
That knowledge warmed me like a cozy blanket. Rodrigo was the real deal. Crazy, bouncy, out of his mind, but true to his word, and at this point in my life, a man being true to his word meant a lot.
“Good. He promised he would.” I tipped my head to the armchairs on the opposite side of the room. “Can we be done with this conversation and watch TV or something?”
He exhaled in relief and offered a crooked smile. “Hell yes. I’d love that.”
We flipped around for a while until settling on a rerun of The Golden Girls. Adam’s choice, not mine, since I’d never seen it. I was dubious until I met Sophia and Rose for the first time, then I was in love.
“How do you know about this show?” I asked.
“It’s kind of iconic.” He shot me a bemused glance. “You’ve really never seen it?”
“Never. My parents were weird and made us play board games and do crafts together. We hardly ever watched TV.”
“That is…” His shaggy hair moved with his head shake. “That’s really wholesome. But it doesn’t surprise me.”
I snorted a laugh. “Because I come across as wholesome?”
“Nothing wrong with that. But no, I guess I’d say you come across as whole, more than anything.” Again, he shook his head. “God, I’m tired. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
He sees me as whole and not broken. I wonder if that means Derrick didn’t really shatter me into a million pieces…or maybe I’m just really good at faking it.
“It was something nice, I promise.” Even if I didn’t exactly believe it to be true, I’d take it.
I walked Adam to the door, and he lingered right outside of it. He raised his hand and cupped the back of my neck, gently squeezing.
“Is it still sore?” he asked.
“Sometimes. But I’m okay right now.”
“I’m glad.” His hand slipped to my shoulder. “We’re gonna hang out again, right?”
“Obviously.”
With a happy grin, he ambled off, not noticing the men coming from the other direction. Dominic and his two bodyguards were about to pass my room, so I raised a hand and said, “Goodnight”. Before I could even turn to retreat into my room, Dominic took two long strides, slapping his palm against my door.
“Claire.” The warm honey of my name became molten on his fevered tongue.
I blinked at him and sucked in a breath. “Sir.”
He nodded once at his security, dismissing them, then pushed into my room without another word.