Bubba And the Aliens

Darfo Seven

“Besides needing weapons with which to effect the rescue of the princess,” I reprised, “we also needed some people to help with the extraction. The four of us were not going to be enough. We were looking for an additional eight to twelve guys to help out.”

“Or girls,” Janet injected, promoting her feminist beliefs.

“Whatever, I’m being generic. We were looking for a group of people from Herpe.”

“Then why were you on Darfo Seven?”

“Because Herpe’s location is a well-guarded secret known to only a few select space captains. You can’t get there unless you have already been there.”

“That does not make any sense,” Janet observed.

“But it’s the way it is,” Dingo replied. “Have you ever been to my house?” He asked Janet. She shook her head negatively. “So, the only way for you to get there would be if I took you, or someone else took you who knows where I live. But, once you had been there, you could probably find your way back.”

“Probably not,” Janet admitted. She had a terrible sense of direction. “But Jack can. If he has been somewhere he can always find it again. It’s infuriating!”

“Herpe is a well-kept secret. There are a very few individuals who know where it is. Without the correct space coordinates, you would never find it.”

“Why not?” Janet inquired. “If it were true, how does anyone know where it is. Someone had to find it first.”

“It was originally discovered by accident,” Arlo supplied. “There was a freighter crew, who were having a retirement party for one of their people. Everyone managed to get totally wasted. Someone completely blitzed punched in random coordinates for a space jump as a joke to send the crew into a completely unknown location. When they arrived, there was a planet there with signs of intelligent life.”

“As it turns out,” Dingo picked up, “because everyone was trashed before the jump, no one had turned on any of the jamming devices to hide the ship. It automatically set itself into orbit around the closest planet. It was a huge space freighter. It could be seen from the planet with the naked eye, either distributing a huge shadow or causing atmospheric heating when reflecting the sun.”

“So,” Arlo reestablished,” the governments on the planet were all freaking out and trying to figure out how to respond. They were hailing them on all kinds of communication frequencies. The first guy who woke up realized what was going on. He was still pretty wasted. He chose to pile a couple of people in the shuttle. They went down to meet the group sending the strongest message signals.”

“How did it go?” Janet wondered.

“About like the time Bubba got drunk in Ecuador and tried to explain the Nazi threat in Argentina to the stoned drug dealer and his girlfriend,” Dingo offered.

Janet turned a wary eye towards Bubba.

“All I was saying was after world war two,” Bubba began.

“Stop!” Janet made a cutting motion with her hand. “It didn’t go well. It’s all you had to say. It did not go well.”

“It is a great story,” Bubba lamented.

“Not now,” Janet insisted and turned to Arlo.

“The three of them,” Arlo continued “were surrounded by weapons and still totally blitzed from the party. They were detained. They were taken to government buildings for interrogation. Luckily, someone else on the freighter woke up and was able to discern what happened from watching the planetary news. He retrieved the shuttle via remote. Once it was back on board, he decided to turn on the cloaking device.

“It appeared the alien threat had dissipated with the disappearance of the ship. Everyone assumed the three aliens had been abandoned. However, the shuttle and some crew members returned later that night, fully cloaked, and pulled the three crew members from their cells along with a couple of the interrogators.

“They returned the interrogators two days later. They gave them the coordinates for the nearest inhabitable planet, which was two hundred light years away. They supposed they could figure out how to get there on their own”

“Interfering with the development of a planet is considered a crime. Therefore, no one said much about the incident. However, sometime later,” Dingo picked up the story, “one of the crew members was on a different ship. It was running illegal goods and they needed a place to hide. He remembered the coordinates and they jumped to Herpe.”

“While in orbit,” I began. “They observed the Herpe were a violent people who seemed bent on destroying each other until one group would rule the whole world. In other words, they were just like earthlings. They are even a close match genetically as it turns out.

“A single envoy was sent to negotiate with the largest government. An agreement was reached. They would help it overcome the others through advanced technology, a little at a time. Occasionally in return, they would get a few of the planets best warriors to take into space for special missions.

“This arrangement has continued over the last several hundred years, according to Bipodecus, who explained all of this to us. If we wanted people to help with the rescue of the princess, then a few Herpes were our best bet, if we didn’t want earthlings. We had to find someone who knew how to get to Herpe. The Khelids suggested the best place to find someone with the knowledge was probably going to be on Darfo Seven. A single individual was described who would be in the Planar Club in Shinseki. So, it is where we went.”

“Bipodecus had never been to Darfo Seven. He did not know every ship is required to be inspected by the fashion police upon arrival,” Dingo added.

“We thought nothing of it in our ignorance. We waved at them as we entered the spaceport. The clothes the Khelids gave us were not deemed up to standard for Darfo Seven. We were required to buy outfits in the spaceport and change before we could visit the surface.”

“Not knowing the particular rules of the planet, we took the suggestions of the people in the shops,” Dingo commented. “Except Bubba, unbeknownst to us, had modified some of the Pilifino prison clothing by ripping the sleeves off and cutting the pants off. The modified clothing was detected by sensors in the spaceport.”

“They didn’t give us no underwear on any of them other places,” Bubba responded defiantly. “What kind of folks don’t wear underwear? Some of them space pants was tight and I didn’t want everything out there flopping around for the world to see. I made myself some undershorts, so my junk wasn’t hanging loose.”

“Darfons are a tall and elegant people,” Arlo redirected the conversation. “Think of all those runway models you see. The men are not highly muscled in the way many earth women find attractive.” Nor was Arlo I thought but let him continue. “They too are tall, thin, and elegant. Their society is driven by a sense of highly regimented social graces you might say.”

“Darfons,” Janet repeated. “It doesn’t seem like a very elegant name.”

“Perhaps not,” Dingo replied. “But at least they don’t live on Tampo.”

“Crude,” Janet replied.

“The spaceport is not regulated nearly as much as the planet, but it is still under the control of the government,” I explained. “This is something we would come to regret not long after arriving. A shuttle took us from the station to the city of Shinseki and it was a short ride from there to the Planar Club.

“We had a name for someone, who might know someone, who might be able to put us in touch with someone, who could contact someone from Herpe, or a captain who could get us there. While Bipodecus and I began to make discreet inquiries for an Opinion named Galileo, the other three,” I pointed around the room, “went to the bar to sample the local fare.”

“That sentence makes no sense,” Janet stated. I looked at her quizzically. “An opinion named Galileo,” she repeated. “Why would an opinion have a name?”

“Oh, it wasn’t an opinion. Well, he was an Opinion, but not like you are thinking. He was from Opini. He was a descendant of Galileo, who was returned to earth several hundred years ago.”

“Yeah, right,” Janet exclaimed. “So far you have thrown out a few great historical names and claimed none of them actually belonged on this planet. What evidence would you provide to support your statements?”

“Almost all of them are famous because they did something no one else could do, or claimed facts no one believed in,” Arlo supplied. “What were those famous last words of Socrates?”

Janet just looked at him.

“I give up,” Bubba added suddenly aware of the conversation. “What were they?”

“I drank what?” Arlo gave the famous, inaccurate, quote.

“It is circumstantial at best. You are giving me third- and fourth-hand accounts of events long past verifying.” Janet argued.

“But Darfo Seven is where I met Hello, who told me about Zeus and Poseidon,” Arlo countered.

“Afterward, I really began thinking about some of the things that have happened over the history of the planet, our planet. I can see a lot of parallels with what is happening on Herpe now. I’ll tell you more about the girl later, but she was a fountain of information. On earth, we have someone make some statement that totally defies what everyone believes. They are considered deranged, shamed, arrested, mocked, tried, and sometimes killed. Later someone quietly decides to investigate whether they were crazy or not and finds out they were telling the truth.”

“What did he drink?” Bubba inquired as his thoughts caught up with the conversation.

“Hemlock,” I answered, looking pitifully at Bubba. There was so much he just never cared about learning, especially history and the arts. He also had a slow process speed. However, he was tenaciously dedicated to whatever thought he was dwelling on. “It’s a poison. They made him kill himself.”

“That sucks! What was his crazy idea?” Bubba asked.

“Nothing really crazy, he just challenged the status quo of the people ruling Athens. He tried to convince people they should think for themselves. He is considered the father of enlightenment and western philosophy. He based his theories on critical logical thinking. It was something he picked up from the Opini.”

Bubba and Janet both looked at me with shock on their faces. “I’ll explain it to you later,” I said to Bubba, who only nodded his head. I faced Janet’s curious gaze.

“We have never discussed western philosophy,” she said with a bit of sadness.

“You have stated very clearly where your liberal values lay. They don’t jive with a lot of what the Greek philosophers taught.” I stated it flatly, but without menace. It was an argument I did not want to have. Redheads are crazy! Not normal crazy from the differences in hormones and thought processes for men and women, but slash your tires, kill your pet, key your car kind of crazy. At least Janet was, and so was every other redhead I had ever known. It was a stereotype, but it had proven out true in my experience.

“Can we get back to Galileo,” I asked.

Janet watched me for a moment, and then slowly nodded her head. “I’m pretty sure there are extensive records documenting Galileo’s life. I read a book on him once and how music influenced his mathematics. There was something about him having to take care of his brother’s debts or something.” Janet stated.

“I read something similar,” I confirmed to Janet. “His descendant on Darfo Seven did not have a great deal of detail about what he did after he was returned to earth.”

“You keep saying returned,” Janet interrupted.

“Well, he was an earthling,” I reminded her. “History documents he was separated from his family for a couple of years when they moved to Florence. He was also in an Abbey for a while. Those years of his life are not well documented. He spent some of his time as a young man on the planet of Opini.

Supposedly, he was alone one night looking up at the stars. He was wondering what was out there when someone from Opini was orbiting the earth doing an observation run. They saw him alone and decided to talk to him about the current state of affairs on the planet. For a couple of years, he would pop off planet with them for a few days, or weeks. Galileo, the latter, told us there was a relationship with one of the Opini women on the ship.”

“Nobody believes in alien abduction nowadays,” Bubba offered. “They sure would not have believed him, if he had told anyone about it.”

“What was your take on his great, great, great whatever grandchild,” Janet asked Bubba.

“Never spoke to him,” Bubba responded. “See, what happened was, while Jack and the Laki were looking for him, I was at the bar drinking with Dingo and Arlo. The music was alright, and the booze was pretty good. There were those dancing girls who could turn their heads all the way around like owls. They were interesting, but then these bug creatures walked in. And I don’t like little bugs. Big ones really freaked me out, especially when I could overhear their conversation. I took my drink and went looking for a quiet corner. Dingo came over and passed out after whatever he was drinking hit him. I was still sitting there when I got arrested.”

“For what?” Janet wanted to know.

Bubba looked down at his beer and shook his head sadly, remembering the event.

“Jorts,” I answered, drawing her attention. “Bubba had modified some of his pants into something very similar to jorts.”

“And they arrested you for your golf outfit?” Janet recalled.

“Well, yes, but it’s not linear. Dingo had enjoyed a couple of libations at the bar with Arlo and Bubba before the bug things walked in. He then asked the bartender what the strongest thing they had was. Translate it into brain blaster, more or less.”

“Hell of a drink,” Dingo editorialized.

“He took his drink and went to find Bubba, and then,” I turned to Arlo, “the Tzatzikian girl sat down and started talking to Arlo, or maybe visa-versa.” Arlo nodded. “I had left the bar before this point. I was with Bipodecus, and another individual, whose name I don’t recall, in another bar trying to find Galileo.”

“Where’s Bipodecus right now?” Janet queried.

“He’s with Danny boy on Sesterisia. Or, he was four days ago, or he will be eight weeks from now. He was planning on going back home but might have run into complications. Right now, I can’t be sure where either of them is. It doesn’t really matter at this point in the story,” I said with a bit of frustration. “Things were a little discordant on Darfo Seven because we were all separated for the first time since we had been abducted by the Pilifinos.”

“You said the other three were in the bar.” Janet supplied.

I nodded in agreement. “They were, but Dingo was passed out. Bubba was soon to be arrested. And Arlo was engaged with the Tzatzikian girl. What was her full name?”

“Helospirinious,” Arlo reminded me.

“That’s right. We referred to her as Hello.” I supplied.

“You’re kidding, right?” Janet wondered.

“Honey, you know I’m terrible with names.” I reminded her.

“Tell me you didn’t say it,” she demanded of Arlo.

Arlo just smiled and sipped his beer. After a few seconds, he relented. “She thought I looked a bit different than anyone she had ever seen. I told her I was an earthling. That really grabbed her attention! She told me about the exiles from Tzatziki who were sent to earth. I told her they were thought of as gods. We talked about current affairs on earth. She seemed to take an interest in our being from Kansas. Of course, once I heard her name, I told her, she had me at Hello.”

Janet glared at him and made a sound I do not really have words for. It was something between anger and anguish somewhere. “How engaged did you become with this girl?”

“Completely,” Arlo answered with a smile and a hint of pride.

“So, while your friends were passed out and being arrested, you were getting laid?”

“I would not put so crude a label to it. I was gathering information about the universe.” Arlo still had a smile. “I got the better end of the deal that night.”

“And did you engage with anyone anywhere in this saga?” She asked turning back towards me.

“No babe, I never did.”

“How do I know you aren’t lying about it?”

“Bollocks,” Dingo blurted out, “after what happened on Octavia, I don’t think he even wanted to look at another woman.”

“I told the truth on Octavia,” I explained before she could ask. “Let us leave it at that for the moment. On Darfo Seven I was with Bipodecus, and this other guy, looking for a solid Opinion. It turns out Galileo was a stranger Opinion than what I was expecting. It made it difficult to find him.”

“Why was that” Janet asked.

“Well, Opinions vary,” I stated.

Arlo looked at me and rolled his eyes. “What Jack means is Opinions are shape-shifters on a mild scale. They can’t change their body mass, as per the laws of physics, but they can rearrange their mass in a variety of ways depending on their mood and their circumstances.”

“They rarely look the same as the last time you saw them, or even looked at them. They can’t change other materials, like the clothes they are wearing, but they do favor reversible jackets and a couple of layers of clothing.”

“Are they all spies or something like it?” Janet inquired.

“No, though it would probably be helpful planet-side,” Arlo answered as he considered the suggestion. “But all the spaceports we went through had scanners to identify an individual’s species, if not their planet of origin. Most bipedal humanoids look like bipedal humanoids. Insectoid species look like some variety of insect, and so on. I’m sure there are many ways to pass through without being scanned, but we never really got into that aspect.”

I had been searching for a metaphor to align Janet’s thoughts with what we had seen on Darfo Seven while Arlo spoke. “Think of Darfo Seven as France,” I said, recalling the runway model comment. “The people are beautiful, sophisticated, and arrogant as crap. They know what the absolute best is. You are a backwater, corner of the universe, hick if you don’t agree with their consensus.”

“They were pretty rude,” Dingo commented. “We probably saw the widest variety of planetary mingling on Darfo, but they severely restrict who moves onto the planet. They allow a plethora of tourists to fuel their economy. They look down on everyone else.”

He turned to look at me for a moment. “By God, I think they are French! I wonder how they would do in a fight with another planet. Probably raise their little white flag and surrender. You are bloody brilliant Jack!”

“I tend to think so,” I answered. I could see Janet was not amused. “Okay, so Bubba was arrested, Dingo was passed out, and Arlo.”

“Was exploring the universe,” he offered.

“All of this was while Bipodecus and I were looking for Galileo in another bar. We did find him. He said he did know a guy who could get us in touch with some Herpes.”

“Never thought any of us would want Herpes,” Arlo interjected before letting out a giggle.

“Galileo told us to meet him the next day for lunch and gave us a time and place. When I mentioned the similarity in name to our own Galileo, he told me about the history of his family and having the earthly ancestor. We were getting ready to head back and find everyone else when the news came on the video screen which announced Bubba’s capture. We discovered I had an arrest warrant out for me.”

“Because of the golf pants,” Janet summarized.

“Because of the whole outfit,” I admitted. “Except for the hat, of course.”

“Why not the hat?” She asked. “It’s as outlandish as the rest of the getup.”

“I know, but outlandish is one thing, garish is entirely another.”

“So did you skedaddle back to the ship?” She asked.

I looked at Janet carefully. Skedaddle was not a word I had heard her use before. I was momentarily caught by surprise. “No,” I replied. “After consulting with Galileo, I went and turned myself in. I did so far away from him, and the bars we had been in. Bipodecus went to go back and find Arlo and Dingo. I figured I would spend the night in jail with Bubba.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Bubba observed.

“We would sort it all out the next day. I was assured I wasn’t breaking any laws with what I was wearing.”

“Jack,” Janet began, “you know nothing ever works out the way you assume. This was more than some little misdemeanor, wasn’t it?”

I nodded my head gently. “It really wasn’t bad. I mean, they really are like the French. There was a lot of yelling and screaming at the police station. Whatever they had that was supposed to pass for coffee was horrible. I was questioned. I refused to answer any questions until I got a lawyer. It seems to be somewhat Galactic, amazingly.

“Anyway, they transferred me across town to a police station two blocks from where they had arrested Bubba in the Planar Club. They left me in a cell with him. I never got a chance to get a drink in the club, but the few he imbibed let him drift off into a comfortable sleep.”

“Twelve-inch-thick memory foam mattress in the cell, or something similar,” Bubba recalled. “And they had the softest sheets I ever felt. I kind of miss them sheets. I’m getting me one of them mattresses too.” He saw Janet’s glare and quit reminiscing.

“The next day, Bipodecus and Dingo went to meet Galileo for lunch. They stayed in a hotel near the bar, hoping Arlo would turn up at the ship at some point. Bubba and I had a pretty decent breakfast and talked to our court-appointed lawyer about what to do. Basically, we could plead guilty and spend thirty days in jail, or plead not guilty, and go through a trial. There was no doubt we would be convicted due to the evidence collected on the ship. There were also the jorts Bubba was wearing when he was arrested. We could plead no contest, claim ignorance and be given diversion.”

“Mind cleansing,” Janet stated.

I nodded. “The lawyer did not tell us the mind cleansing was what they meant by ‘perception alteration.’ I thought they were going to give us a stern warning and tell us never to be seen wearing jorts again. I also received twenty lashes.”

“With a whip?” Janet inquired with concern.

“It was symbolic.” I answered. “It was with a whip made of silk and it had a bunch of feathers attached to the end of it. After they did the mind-altering thing, it was supposed to show they could be humane and still follow the letter of the law. The polyester plaid rainbow knickers could not be swept away with diversion, unfortunately.”

“Ignorance of the law is no excuse,” Bubba repeated.

“Like he said,” I indicated Bubba. “They felt even a blind man would have better sense than to wear something like my outfit out in public. Whoever sold it to him would also be prosecuted, since it was illegal on the planet.”

“Plus, when they found out we were earthlings, they kind of freaked out a little bit,” Bubba added.

“Why?” Janet inquired.

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at my friends. “It’s kind of like being American and using the wrong fork at a restaurant in Marseilles. They just assume you’re ignorant and unwashed, but they can’t believe they actually witnessed the spectacle of it. The judge wondered why they even let earthlings on the planet. So, while diversion would work for the jorts and the golf ensemble I had put together, they had to punish me for the plaid knickers.”

“Damn good thing you didn’t have yoga pants,” Arlo added.

“They don’t have yoga pants,” Janet said with exasperation.

“They do,” I replied, “but they only make them in three sizes. If you are larger than a size three you are not allowed to wear them. I might go with a six myself, but those aren’t my rules.”

“I’m a size six,” Janet said as she stared at me.

I was well aware of this, which is why I made the editorial comment. I looked at Bubba for a moment. “How would you describe the mind thing?”

“It was horrible. Not the actual procedure itself, mind you, but the aftereffects. I have always prided myself on being half a generation away from white trash. I might enjoy the comfort of a good set of jorts, but I would never wear a wife beater in public without another shirt over the top.”

“You mean one generation,” Janet corrected.

“No,” Bubba defended, “I got a sister that’s pure white trash. I had a couple of cousins and uncles do some time in prison. I don’t think my mom and dad were really white trash. I got some cousins who are, and those apples didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Yeah, and I bet there weren’t many branches on the family tree either,” Dingo quipped.

“Well, you don’t see anybody in my family wearing a shirt saying I-Da-Hoe.”

“Only because they give it away instead of charging for it,” Dingo countered.

“Shut it!” Janet screamed. Everyone went silent.

“It made,” I searched for words after assuming I was allowed to speak. “It made ugly obvious, but ugly by Darfon standards, not earthly standards.”

“It made me feel bad about liking my jorts,” Bubba said with his head hung in shame. “I miss my jorts, but I don’t know if I could buy another pair.”

“Mullet,” Janet inquired.

Bubba shook his head and started crying silently. “Business in the front, party in the back,” he whimpered. “What have they done to me?”

“Eventually it will wear off.” I was trying to console him. “They had never tried it on earthlings before. I’ve noticed the effects diminishing over time. Maybe someday you can wear jorts again.”

“Really!” Janet voiced.

“Yeah, I mean, it might take years, but it could happen.” I explained.

“No,” Janet stated. “I mean, like, really! Like you really expect me to believe this?”

“Look at Bubba,” I said indicating him with my eyes. “Do you think he can fake that kind of emotion?”

Janet shook her head and watched my face for a moment.

“Hello showed the news story to Arlo in her apartment. We were not going to be tried until the following day.”

“I spent the day learning more about Darfo Seven and the history of Tzatziki.” Arlo commented.

“You spent the day in bed with Hello,” Dingo amended.

“It’s true,” Arlo admitted. “But we did talk and take some time out for meals. Besides, you and Bipodecus spent all afternoon jumping through hoops before you could get through all the security protocols the Herpes had set up.”

“So, you got Herpes?” Janet caught up.

“We didn’t get Herpes, we contacted them,” I corrected. “They agreed, in principle, to do the job. However, there were only five of them. They were saving money to pay for transport back to Herpe. They wanted to get three of their relatives off the planet quietly. If we agreed to go get them, they would help us rescue the princess.”

“You know this sounds like a bad fantasy movie, or a knock-off video game, don’t you?” Janet asked. “Here’s your weapon and back story, now go rescue the princess.” Janet commented.

I looked from Bubba’s raw emotions to Janet’s questioning eyes. I thought for a moment before responding. “As a group, do you think we are smart enough to come up with this kind of convoluted story and keep all the facts straight.′

“You and Arlo could do it easily,” she countered as she stood. “The other two I’m not so sure. No offense meant guys, but you’ll do whatever Jack talks you into.”

Dingo and Bubba took swigs of beer and feigned hurt looks, but they knew it was true.

“Tell you what,” I said, rising from the couch. “How about, we got drunk playing golf and stayed over at the club to try and sober up before driving. That is why we are late.”

“What did you shoot Dingo?” Janet asked as she spun towards him.

“Huh?” he asked intelligently.

“On the course, what was your score?”

He looked at me, hoping to find an answer, and then his eyes switched back to Janet. She waited a moment and then turned back to me.

“I don’t buy it! If you had played golf today, he would have blurted out his score and everyone else’s. He would say who supposedly won, and why it wasn’t fair, like every other time you guys play. So, you didn’t play golf. What really happened?”

“I don’t think I have ever appreciated the way you blend your eye shadow to offset the green flecks in your eyes. You might go with something a little darker to create more of a contrast and make them really pop, especially if you wear the forest green blouse with the black buttons.” I said.

Janet stared at me hard after my statement. I could see the little gears whirring away in her head as she tried to fit the statement into anything our six months together would have revealed about me. It did not fit.

“I notice things now I never would have noticed before in pictures, and paintings, and music. I see things differently. I understand how colors complement each other and why a seventies disco suit can work together as a whole, but the individual pieces clash with any other clothing era.”

“And what about you Bubba?” she asked.

“I don’t have the words to explain it the way Jack does, but some things look like they belong together, and other stuff doesn’t. Like the wing chair Dingo is sitting in. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the décor.”

“He said décor,” Janet mumbled as she turned towards me.

“He’s only half white trash,” I explained.

“Crap,” Bubba blurted out. “I’m gonna have to get rid of my momma’s velvet Elvis. Momma loved Elvis.”

“Mine too Bubba. It will be alright.” Dingo offered.

Janet sank back to the couch and grabbed a beer. She twisted the top off violently and chugged down half the bottle before looking at me. She started waving her hand towards me as she tipped the bottle again. I was missing her message.

“Okay, go ahead,” she said, coming up for air. “Tell me about getting Herpes.”

“The incident on the planet of Herpe,” Dingo repeated.

“Whatever,” she replied.

I turned towards her and took in the ragtag group of guys sitting around. The wing chair did not match with anything else in the room. Arlo, Dingo, Bubba, and I felt right somewhere deep inside I could not explain. I was not sure it had anything to do with what happened on Darfo Seven.

“Well, they also kicked us off the planet. They banned Dingo and Arlo for good measure. It did not help that we did not have galactic identification either. We were guests of Bipodecus. He was able to finish making the arrangements with the Herpes and brought them back to the ship with Hello.”

“Why was Hello there?” Janet asked.

“She said she was Tzatzikian,” Arlo explained, “and she had been on Darfo Seven for around eighteen months on a work visa. I don’t know what they call it in space, but they were never going to let her become a resident. She asked if she could tag along with us.”

“Arlo told her yes before checking with anybody else,” I added. “We were on the Lakanican ship, which was big enough to house us. We all had some very stylish clothes from Darfo to add to our limited wardrobes. We also had the Herpes, four men and one woman. One of them knew the coordinates to get back home.

“Since he was also able to fly the ship, we moved away from the Darfo system until we were clear. He made a few random jumps until we arrived at Herpe.”

“Why jump around?”

“Because the government tracks ships like we track airplanes, but if you make several jumps in a sequence you can disappear into the stars,” Arlo offered.