SWNOVELS Brutal Savage: Chapter 20
I’m still in shock when the priest leaves. It’s like a bad dream. But when I stare down at my finger, I realize this is reality.
“I don’t want this.”
His eyes scan mine when I look into them. I hate him right now. Hate what he’s forced me into. Tears prickle within my eyes, and he’s there, cupping my face and looking at me like I matter.
But he’s a monster.
And monsters don’t care.
“I don’t want this to be bad for you, Elara. I know you don’t believe me, but your happiness matters to me.”
His thumb brushes over my lips, and my lashes flutter. I hate that his hands on me make me feel this damn good.
“My happiness matters so much that you take me against my will?” I scoff.
He drags in a long breath. “I’m not your ex. I won’t hurt you.”
“Yet you forced me to marry you.” My laugh is short and dry. “You’re a real gentleman.”
I push off his hand, and he releases me, walking back a few steps and running his hand down his face.
I shake my head. “What the hell will I tell people at school once they find out? I could lose my job. Do you even care, or will you stop me from working too? Because I swear, Tynan…” I walk up to him and dig an index finger into his hard chest. “If you assume I’ll quit, you have another think coming.”
He grabs my wrist and brings my knuckles to his lips, kissing them slowly as he gazes down at me through hooded eyes. “I don’t expect you to quit, and if you’re worried about being let go, don’t be. I know the superintendent of the district well. He wouldn’t wanna piss me off by firing my wife.”
His wife.
I shake off the warmth those words just brought me, and relief washes over me instead. At least I won’t lose my job.
Except, you know, I’ll be married to a Mafia man. And he intends to get me pregnant. Will he force me? Oh, God…
“Just tell me why you’re doing this. Why me?”
He releases a heavy sigh. “Come sit with me.”
He moves toward the sofa. The house is dark, no one awake at this late hour. When I lower to the opposite corner from him, he shakes his head and pats the space right beside him.
“Better get used to being close to me.”
A lopsided smirk lifts his lips, and it settles in my gut, reminding me that beneath the hate, there’s insufferable attraction waiting to consume us both.
I scoot closer, yet keeping a little distance. But he curls an arm around my back and brings me up against him, uncomfortably so. Our outer thighs meet, and my heart gallops in my throat.
“Now that we’re married, I’ll tell you what you need to know.”
He takes my hand in his and holds it in his lap, rubbing circles over my skin, making me warm. It’s what he does to me, and there’s nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
“My father is the head of the Irish Mob. He plans to retire soon, and I’m next in line.”
I cup my mouth, realizing what he’s trying to tell me. “And you needed to get married to do that…”
“Yes. My father is big on continuing our family line, and I had two months to find a wife. Then I met you and saw how good you are for Brody, and he’s the one person in my life who matters most to me.”
His eyes fall to a brief close, and when he looks back at me, my heart swells. Because I can see it…the way he loves Brody. Really loves him. His anguish, it’s there too.
“So instead of finding some random woman, I chose you.”
“I’m so lucky.” Sarcasm drips from my tone.
He exhales a short breath of laughter. “I get it. This wasn’t how you envisioned your marriage. You probably wanted to fall in love and have a big wedding.” He stares contemplatively. “And I can give you that—a wedding, a dress, anything you want. But I will never love you. It’s my one stipulation. That this thing between us remain…friendly.” His eyes dance over my lips, and my skin rises with goose bumps.
“So you wanna fuck me. Get me preg—”
“More than once.” A smirk flits across his face.
“Right. More than once,” I repeat with a roll of my eyes. “And not fall in love with me. So we’d be what? Friends with benefits?”
“I guess so.”
“How sweet.”
“I like you, Elara. Isn’t that enough?”
Pain throbs at the back of my throat, and I fight not to cry. I fight to keep it together because after Jerry, falling in love and marriage wasn’t in the cards.
And now to know that this man, who’s intending to spend the rest of his life with me, refuses to love me? It hurts.
I should be thankful. I don’t want his love. Or his affection. I don’t want anything from him. I just want my freedom.
But in the back of my mind, that little girl I once was, who saw a bright future, she wants to be loved. She wants a man who would lay down his life for her, who cares for her. Who wants to love her. And that’ll never be him.
“I have no plans on falling in love with you either, Tynan Quinn, so don’t you worry about it.”
Something crosses his eyes, something that resembles heartbreak. But that’s a ridiculous thought.
“We should go over the rules,” he continues.
“There are rules?”
“There are, Ms. Hill…” He smiles, catching himself. “I mean Mrs. Quinn.”
I hate how good that just sounded. “What are they? These rules.”
“For starters, Rogue will continue to follow you wherever you go. If your plans change, you have to let him know.”
“Okay. Anything else?”
He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a jewelry box. My eyes expand, wondering what’s inside. When he opens it, he reveals a thin gold tennis bracelet. Picking up my arm, he secures it around my wrist.
“You’re never to take it off.”
My brows knit. “Why?”
“It has a tracker.”
“What?” My brows shoot up.
“If you take it off, I will know. It’s waterproof, so you can wear it in the shower too.”
“You’re planning on tracking me?”
“You’re now the wife of the head of the Mob. Yes, I’m tracking you. My enemies are also yours now, and they won’t care that you’re a woman. So this is for your protection, Elara.” He tucks my chin in his palm. “If you disobey, I’ll have to put a tracker in you. It’s up to you which you’d prefer.”
Staring at this man, I’m unable to believe how insane he truly is. I shove his hand off of me and try to control my rage. At least he won’t do what Jerry did to me. At least there’s that.
But I’ll find a way to get away from him.
He might think this is forever, yet I have other plans. When the right opportunity comes, I’ll disappear for good.
“How about I give you a tour of the house before I show you to our bedroom?”
He starts to rise, and I follow him, knowing I don’t have much of a choice.
“Our bedroom? We can’t sleep separately?”
“You’re my wife, Elara. I want you in my bed.” His arm winds around me, pressing me up against his body.
Those eyes align with mine, and as soon as they do, that shift in the air…it returns. Slams into my chest and makes me feel it. I feel everything when he touches me and looks into my eyes like that.
Like I matter.
“If you don’t plan on falling in love with me, it’s better if we spend as little time together as possible.”
He flings a loose strand of hair away from my face, his mouth dropping across my ear and making me shiver.
Heavy, warm breaths skate against my skin. “You think you’re that easy to fall in love with?”
I swallow down the thick taste of arousal tickling across my flesh.
His deep, rumbling chuckle sends my pulse into overdrive.
He straightens himself, slipping my hand into his. “Come on, let me show you your new home, Mrs. Quinn. This is just the beginning of all the things I plan to give you.”
I could get used to that…
No. No. I absolutely cannot.
He takes me all throughout the house, showing me the many bedrooms. A game room and a theater, even a library. This place has it all.
Then we get to the bedroom.
The one I’ll be forced to share with him.
Every night.
He opens the door, inviting me into the large space. My heart beats faster the further I step into it. And that black upholstered bed in the center of the room somehow appears bigger.
“Do you like it?” he rasps behind me, and a chill scurries down my arms.
“It’s okay,” I lie, because clearly it’s a lot more than okay. His home is beautiful.
Trying to ignore these feelings, I glance around the rest of the place. A white chaise with a shaggy rug beneath stands at the foot of the bed. A large fireplace is centered against the wall. It’s probably cozy in the winter.
His big, strong palms lower to my arms, stroking up and down, making me molten lava.
“Well, I hope you do like our bedroom, Mrs. Quinn.” He lowers his wicked mouth to the space behind my ear. “Because this is where I intend to fuck you every single moment that I can get my hands on you.”
I visibly quiver, wanting him in every crevice.
“I will not sleep with you,” I whisper, wanting it to be true. Despising myself for even thinking about him throwing me around and taking me roughly in this very bed.
I shouldn’t want him in any capacity. But my body and my mind are at war, and my body is currently winning.
“You’re my wife. My property.” A single finger traces up my sternum, causing a breathy sigh to escape. “You will share my bed. You will share your body. And I will own every inch of you.”
I shouldn’t like his words, yet all I want is to hear them again.
How is he doing this to me?
“I want an heir, and you will give me one. That’s all I need to make my father happy.”
“That’s all you want? One child?” I breathe, still not turning toward him, afraid of the feelings he elicits from me.
“That’s all.” His mouth drops to the crook of my throat, and my head falls against his chest.
“And our child has two parents who don’t even love each other?”
“No,” he husks. “Our child will have parents who love him.”
“Or her.”
“Yes…or her. But we don’t have to love each other to have a child.”
“And you’re gonna wanna…”
“Fuck?” he grunts, rolling a thumb over a pebbled nipple. “Yes. A lot.” His teeth nip my earlobe, and I let out an illicit moan. “I thought we established all this earlier. How quickly you forget.”
“Mm…” I can’t help how amazing this feels.
“You keep sounding so good, and I might start trying early.”
“Oh, God… After the baby, you…you won’t touch me anymore, right?”
Please touch me again…
“Well, you will be my wife, and a man does have his needs. Do you suggest I go elsewhere?”
“No.” The answer is instant.
“Good girl.”
I want him so badly, I can’t even comprehend feeling this way for a man. Never been this way for anyone.
“I’ll not only pay you for every year we remain married, but I will also pay you to have my children.”
“You mean our children, and you said you only needed one.”
“Yes, Mrs. Quinn.” He spins me around until my body is pressed up against his. “But with all our fucking, we may end up with more than one child.”
His words flit down my skin, causing every inch to wake.
“You understand how crazy this is, right? Please tell me you understand.”
He nods. “I never wanted a wife. It was never in the cards for me, but my father had other plans.”
“It wasn’t in the cards for me either.” I glance at my feet right before he takes my chin firmly in his hand.
“Why not?”
The way he looks at me, it’s like he wants to see me. Like he wants to know everything about me. It’s almost enough to tell him everything.
Almost.
“My ex. He’s taken a lot away from me.”
His eyes turn to slits, quiet rage within them.
“I’m sorry he hurt you. I’ll make him pay. I promise, Elara.” His thumb gently strokes the underside of my jaw.
My gut swirls with emotions, with nerves he put there.
I grab his wrist. “Thanks for saying that, but I’d rather he never found me. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”
A yawn escapes me.
“How about we get some rest? It’s late.” He lifts the covers for me and I slide in.
“Which side do you sleep on?” I ask.
“The one closer to the door.”
He starts to remove his shoes, placing them in the closet, unbuttoning his shirt next, until he’s pulling the sleeves off. The sight of shirtless Tynan is making me thankful I’m already in bed. My thighs squeeze into one another when his solid eight-pack of muscles jerks at the attention I give it.
I glance at the window, and he lets out a chuckle.
“No, please, keep looking. I like your eyes on me.”
“I wasn’t looking. I mean, I was, but not in that way.”
He chuckles. “You’re cute when you lie.”
Swallowing thickly, I return to ogling my husband, and the outline of his thick cock is hard to miss.
Okay, we definitely have a problem.
How am I supposed to share a bed with this man and pretend I won’t let him fuck me? And the more I look at him, the more I accept that fate. I mean, sleeping with him wouldn’t be the worst idea. I have an itch to scratch, and he’s a very willing participant.
But he wants to get you pregnant, you idiot.
Right. Okay. Maybe I forgot about that part.
He rummages through his dresser drawer, then he’s tossing a white t-shirt at me. “Put this on.”
I pick it up and give him a puzzling look. “I’m already in my PJs.”
“And as adorable as they are, I want you in my clothes moving forward. And make sure you’re not wearing anything underneath.”
Nerves skitter up my throat. “Um…”
He starts toward me, his knuckles falling across the side of my throat. “I’ll never force you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. But I think it’s good for us to start getting comfortable with one another, don’t you?”
No. I prefer to keep my distance.
“I’ll go change in the bathroom.”
He releases me, and I feel bare without his touch.
Rushing up, I enter the bathroom and drag in a long, shallow breath, my pulse skipping in my throat. I married the head of the Mob. I’m a mobster’s wife now. That’s going to take quite some time to sink in.
Maybe this will scare Jerry and his father. Maybe they’ll avoid a war with the Quinns once they find out I married him. Or maybe they’ll get cocky and think they can take on the Mob. Isaac always thought highly of himself, and so did his son.
Running away is probably the best option.
I start removing my clothes, and I realize I haven’t closed the door all the way.
From the crack, I see him watching me.
He doesn’t turn away when our eyes meet. Instead, his gaze cruises down my naked form, and in it I find deep desire.
It’s then I remember the scar on my stomach. The one Jerry gave me.
I’m careful to hide it with his shirt, but he’ll see it sooner or later. I should tell him about it so he’s prepared.
His throat bobs, and I realize I enjoy the attention he gives me. He likes what he sees…but will he like me with the scar, or will it repulse him?
I cut our connection, slipping the shirt over my body and open the door. “Pretty sure it’s impolite to peep at a woman while she’s naked.”
A small smile plays on his face. “You’re not just any woman. You’re my wife, Elara. And you don’t get to hide from me.”
He grabs the back of my neck, forcing me up against him until I register every solid muscle on his body.
“You’re beautiful.” His thumb traces my jaw. “You should hear it every day, and I plan to tell you that every chance I get.”
My face heats up, and the thought of the scar comes crashing down. “You should know…”
“What is it?” He tugs my face up to his.
“I have a scar. On my stomach. It’s pretty bad, so if you think it’s ugly and want to…you know, keep the lights off when we have to—”
“Show me.” His angered voice makes my throat go dry.
My face flushes. “I…uh…don’t have anything under here, and—”
“I don’t care. I want to see it.”
I pinch my eyes closed, and when he moves back, I start lifting my shirt. I refuse to look at him as I drag it up, revealing the thick vertical scar starting from the right of my belly button all the way to my lower abdomen near my hip.
His audible breath fills me with shame.
“He did that to you?” he spits out through clenched teeth.
When I lower my shirt, I dare to look at him as I nod.
“Fuck, Elara!” The pained way he says my name…
Oh God, it’s like he wants to undo all that’s been done to me.
He grabs a fistful of his hair, pinching his eyes tight. And when he looks back at me, it’s softer.
He cups my face between two hands. “I need his name, baby. Please…” His forehead drops to mine, and he kisses the tip of my nose. “I can’t survive another day knowing that the person who hurt you this way is still breathing.”
I clasp his forearms, tears prickling. “I want to tell you, I do, but I don’t want him to know where I am. You just don’t understand how much it took to get away. I’m finally free of him and his family, and I’d like to keep it that way. Please respect that.”
“I’m not used to feeling useless, Elara.” He pitches back and sighs.
“You’re not being useless. You’re giving me what I need, and that’s what a good husband does.”
“Is that what I’m being?” A melancholy smile falls over him. “Somehow it feels like I’m failing you already.”
“I promise you’re not. Let’s get some rest. I have work tomorrow.” Then it hits me. “Oh my God. My clothes!”
“My men are already at your place, bringing everything over. You will have it all when you wake up.”
He removes his pants until he’s in nothing but a pair of boxers.
“These are for your benefit.” He tugs the waistband. “I normally sleep naked.”
Then he’s pulling me back to bed and sliding in behind me. And instead of letting me go, he holds me tighter, until we’re spooning.
“Goodnight.” He shuts off the lamp and kisses my shoulder.
I register him blowing a series of short breaths, like he’s trying to calm himself.
“Tynan?”
“Hmm?” He burrows closer to me.
“I’m okay.”
He releases a rough exhale, holding me even closer. “Tell me about that tattoo on your hip, the one of the flower.”
A sad smile paints my lips. “My mother loved poppies. She’d fill our home with them.” I laugh mournfully. “Those flowers made her happy, and as much as I miss her, I miss those flowers too. They were like a part of her.”
He holds me tighter as I go on.
“One day she asked if I wanted to get a tattoo with her, and of course, I said yes. So we both got the small red poppy on our hips.”
“I’m sorry.” He kisses the back of my head, and my lashes fall to a close, feeling that kiss drown my body in warmth.
“Me too. This tattoo is the one thing I have left of my mother. One last thing we did together.” Tears sting my eyes.
I hate that the tattoo is right next to my scar, though it offers me some comfort in some weird way. Because I could’ve died that day, yet I’m still alive, and maybe that’s all because of her. Maybe she was watching over me that day. Maybe there’s a reason I’m still here.
He doesn’t say another word, but he lets out a heavy breath, as though he understands my pain all too well.
Yet how could he?
His palm splays across my abdomen and his lips softly land on the back of my head yet again.
And for once, I feel calm, like this is where I belong.
With this man.
In his arms, holding me until I close my eyes.
Until it’s safe to fall asleep because maybe, for once, I’ve found a man who’ll protect me.