SWNOVELS Chapter 16
Sometimes I feel like I’m standing ten feet behind my body and watching it walk toward a cliff. I’m screaming and screaming and trying to make my body stop but it just won’t, it wants to fall into a black chasm, and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it.
Elena makes me feel that way. Whenever she’s around, I’m floating up at the ceiling watching as my hands touch her and my heart races and I make all the mistakes I swore I wouldn’t make.
It’s not like it’d be wrong to want my wife. That’s not the problem. It’s that Elena’s so damn much—she’s bright and lively, she’s got more energy than anyone I’ve ever met, and I know that if I start trying to keep up with her then all my other responsibilities will start to slip through my fingers.
I feel it all the time. The weight of the family. The expectations, the needs. My father’s ghost sits on my shoulder and judges everything I do, and I can’t help but see the disappointment in the eyes of those that come to petition my family. I’m not my old man and I never will be, but they wish the old boss was still around to handle business the way he always did.
My father was steadfast. He was calm and collected. I want to be as strong as he was, but I find myself thinking more about Elena than I am about all the thousand little problems I have to deal with on a daily basis.
And here I am, walking toward the pit, unable to stop.
Simon welcomes me into his office. He pours drinks and sits me down, and I look around, feeling genuinely appreciative and impressive. I’ve been here before, but now I’m seeing it the way he keeps the place when he’s working. There are files all over, way more paper than a Don normally should have, but Simon doesn’t seem bothered by that. Probably the enormous industrial shredder in the corner helps keep things manageable.
“If I were your lawyer, I’d advise you to get rid of all this,” I say, gesturing at the stacks of folders.
Simon laughs and raises his glass. “That’s exactly what my actual lawyers say, but don’t worry. It’s all legitimate.”
“You have a lot of businesses, don’t you?”
“We’re at the point where our shell companies own holding companies who own more shell companies. It’s like those Russian nesting dolls, except they’re Italian and filled with cocaine.”
I smirk, unable to help it. The Biancos are famous for their drugs. That’s how they gained power to begin with. But at this point, I doubt they’re pushing on the streets anymore. They’re at the point where it makes more sense to buy a politician than it does to buy a kilo of heroin.
We make small talk for a little while. Elena’s constantly in the back of my head, and when he asks about her, I try to answer as honestly as I can.
“We’re trying to make it work,” I admit to him. “It’s not easy, but she’s going to come live at my place for a few days to see how she likes it.”
Simon laughs and leans back in his chair, swirling his drink. “I’m honestly surprised. Out of everyone, I always figured Elena was going to die in the oasis. Of old age, obviously.”
“She’s not exactly excited about the idea.”
“My sister cares about this family.” He tilts his head, looking thoughtful. “I mean, we all care about this family, but she cares in a different sort of way. For her, it’s less about the power and the organization, and more about the people. She knows every single guard’s name, she knows all their stories, where they come from, how they grew up, that sort of stuff, and she’s always trying to take care of her brothers.” He rolls his eyes and grins. “To my constant horror.”
I grunt and process that. “She’s a lot, isn’t she?”
“She’s a lot,” Simon agrees and his expression softens. “But she’s also the best we have. Honestly, this is probably the part of the conversation where I’m supposed to get all big brother protective and tell you to treat her well, but Elena can handle herself.”
“You’re absolutely right about that. But you don’t have to worry. Even if Elena and I never build a traditional marriage, we’ll find a way to make our partnership work.”
Simon seems happy with that and starts talking about how he met his wife and how their marriage grew from a business proposal similar to what I have with Elena into something much deeper.
I’m only half listening. Mostly I picture Elena living in my home as my wife, bouncing around giving out orders and making sure everything is perfect, and maybe at one point in my life, I would’ve found that overbearing and annoying, but right now it only makes me smile. I want that woman in my life. I want her boundless energy and her deep empathy. Maybe I can learn something from her, something that will make me a better boss for my own organization.
“Enough of that,” Simon says and refills our glasses. “I asked you here for a favor. We have a delicate operation happening tonight, and I want you to push on your contacts in the CPD to make sure the cops aren’t paying attention to certain parts of the city.”
My eyebrows raise. “I’m guessing you can’t be more specific?”
“I’ll tell you the neighborhood and you tell me if this is doable. I’m not asking for too much. All I want is to make sure there are no patrols in the area. If any calls come in, I understand that they’ll have to respond.”
I grunt and sip the brandy, considering what I can do. “That’s possible,” I say at last. “But it depends on who’s working tonight.”
“Whatever help you can provide will be greatly appreciated.”
I nod and stand up. “I’ll make some calls.”
“Thank you, Brody.” He stands and we shake hands. “I hear that your family is stuck in red tape hell right now trying to get some permits in order. The rumors say the zoning board hates your guts.”
“Certain members,” I admit.
“Listen to Elena. I promise, she’s got the best political mind in our whole damn organization, and everyone likes her. If she can’t make your problem go away, come to me in a few months and I’ll see what else we can do.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
He nods and I leave. I take my time walking back to Elena’s house, strolling along the peaceful streets under big, wide leaves sprouting from old growth trees. It really is beautiful, this oasis of theirs, even with all the construction happening.
She’s waiting out front with her bags packed. A guard’s standing with her, a young, handsome man with good hair and a wide smile. He says something and she laughs, and my heart rate suddenly jumps as I pick up my pace. I don’t know what this feeling is, but I want to grab that guard’s throat and strangle him to fucking death.
I plant myself at my wife’s side. “You ready?” I grunt at her.
She looks up, frowning at me. “Hello to you too. Did you ever meet Matty? He’s been working on the oasis for a few years now.”
I nod at him. “Good to meet you. I’m her husband.”
His smile doesn’t falter. “I know, I was at the party. Well, I was lurking on a roof with a high-powered sniper rifle.” He mimes shooting a gun. “Fine times.”
“You should’ve come down for a drink,” Elena says, rolling her eyes. “You didn’t have to stay on duty all night.”
“I was scheduled.” Matty shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. I hate the way he looks at Elena, like he’s bashful around her. “Besides, I’m just a guard.”
“You almost got yourself killed during the attack driving that bulldozer. We appreciate you.” She squeezes his arm. “Next time, come have a drink.”
“Yeah, alright, if you insist.”
“We should get going.” I cut into her conversation, feeling like a fucking asshole. I don’t know why this is bothering me so much, but watching her touch him lights a fire in my heart. It’s all I can do to keep myself from breaking Matty’s fucking nose, and the guy didn’t even do anything wrong. He’s being perfectly respectful and hasn’t crossed any lines, and if he were talking to my own sister like this, I wouldn’t mind it one bit.
Except he’s talking to my wife. And she’s touching his arm. And it fucking pisses me off.
“Okay, rude,” Elena says, giving me another look.
I heft her bag up onto my shoulder. “Good meeting you,” I grunt at Matty, grab Elena’s wrist, and drag her along.
“What the hell was that?” she asks as I toss her luggage into the bed of my truck.
“That was nothing. I’ve got calls to make for your brother, that’s all.”
She leans against the driver’s side door and crosses her arms. I don’t like the look on her face one bit—it’s like she’s staring straight through me and she’s absolutely amused by what she’s finding.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were acting jealous again. But that would be very stupid, right?”
I lean forward, one hand on the glass next to her head, my face inches from hers. “There’s nothing to be jealous of, wifey. You’re all mine.”
“I am?” She pouts and puts her hands on my chest. Fuck, I love it when she touches me, and I like it when she pushes her lips out like that. I think of kissing her last night and how badly I wanted to do more. “You keep on acting like a big, strong caveman, but it’s not like I’m getting any of the benefits of my possessive husband.”
I clench my jaw. “Don’t fucking tease me.”
“I’m not teasing.” Her fingers grip my chest muscles and I swear she just licked her lips. “You keep on acting like you don’t want me, but we both know the truth.”
“You fucking tempting me right now?” I lean in closer, voice pitched low, feeling like my body might vibrate into dust. My cock’s hard and I’m not shy about pushing myself against her. Yeah, she notices, and her breath comes in quicker. “You think that’s a good idea?”
“I think you won’t do it,” she whispers, tilting her chin up in challenge. “I think you talk a big game, but when the time comes to actually put up or shut up, you won’t come through.”
My teeth feel like they’re going to break. My fingers dig into the glass. Fucking hell, I want to slam her around and fuck her here and now, rip into her beautiful body, make her moan and say my name, but she’s right. I hate it, but she’s right, because every time I get within an inch of going too far, I remember why I haven’t crossed the line yet.
“Go ahead,” she says, voice still low. “You can back off now. I know you want to.”
“That’s not what I want,” I say, but I take a step away.
She looks disappointed. I figured she’d be smug, but that’s not it at all. She only shakes her head and walks around to the passenger side, and I have to take a second to get myself together before climbing in. The drive back to my place is uncomfortable.