Brothers By Design

They slept the night through and woke hungry. Kane dressed them both in the sewn-up kid T-shirts and jeans. The outfit looked weird on Devin, but he was so thrilled to match Kane that Kane couldn’t bear to disappoint him by making him change.

“Good morning,” Albert greeted them when they got downstairs. “Cook said that breakfast will be omelets with orange juice and...why, where-ever is Devin? I see Kane and…another Kane?”

Devin giggled from behind Kane.

“I’m Devin,” he said. “I’m wearin’ clothes like Kane does. Not…not like I normally do.”

Albert looked at them both. “Why, it is you! I am very glad of it too. I imagine Kane would be in no end of trouble without you making him behave.” He smiled and bustled into the kitchen.

“He’s silly,” Devin giggled as he slid into the booth.

“Yeah, but don’t tell anybody,” Kane agreed, also settling in. “Butlers are supposed to be stuffy and proper, not fun and silly.”

“I won’t tell,” Devin promised. Kane grinned and ruffled his hair. “Kane?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you…?” Devin paused, licked his lips, frowning. “Will you teach me how to use the computer?”

“Sure.” Was that why Devin’d made the card by hand? Didn’t know how to use a computer? Who didn’t know how to use a computer these days? They were everywhere.

“’Cuz I-I was…was never ‘lowed t-to touch one, an’ an’ I-I’m gonna need it for school, an’…”

“Yes, Devi, I’ll teach you. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll be really careful. I won’t break it or nothing, an’…”

Kane pulled Devin to him, startling him into silence. “I’ll teach you. It’ll be fine.”

Devin’s habit of repeating himself became irritating. The first time he’d said he’d help should have made Devin shut up. He’d have to teach Devin that, in a way that didn’t scare him. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was necessary. Otherwise Kane would lose his temper. That would be bad. Teaching Devin when to shut up instead of harping on something was vital.

******

For the rest of the week the boys played and prepared for school. They took music lessons and were assigned new things to practice. The brain injury had done nothing to impair Devin’s singing voice.

In the evenings they spent time in the playroom before bathing and going to the study. Kane taught Devin the basics of his school computer and drilled him on it he understood. He decided to wait to teach Devin anything else, to let him get comfortable.

Sunday they got everything ready for school. Kane asked Steve to drive them for the first week or so, until they were more settled. Steve agreed. Kane had figured he would. The man was much more involved with them than Shyla had been. It was kind of nice.

Monday came. The boys dressed and ate, gathered their bags and went outside to get in the car. Devin was as close to Kane as he could get, not speaking, his nervousness plain. Kane cuddled him in the car, promising he would be there to keep him safe.

Devin held onto Kane’s arm as they got out of the car and headed for the building. Kids were grouped here and there, talking and goofing around before the day began. At least some things were the same, Kane mused. Before school was catch up and show off time. Kane maneuvered them between and through the groups, intent on getting Devin inside and calmed down. Get himself calmed down and focused.

“Kane! Kane McAllister!”

Frowning, Kane looked to see who had called his name. When he saw super blonde hair heading his way he made a face and again started forward. He’d almost forgotten about that girl from the office, half-hoping to never see her again. It figured she’d find him this early.

“Kane! Jeez – is that any way to greet your girlfriend?” She kept on talking, never giving him a chance to say anything that might get rid of her. She fell in step with him and to their first class. “I’ll see you at lunch.” She darted away.

Shaking himself, Kane took Devin into the classroom. He saw a table at the back of the room, contrasting with the desks. There were two chairs and a partition in front of one of them. That would be Devin’s seat. He took him there, but didn’t set up the computer. The schedule said homeroom was only ten minutes long; there wouldn’t be time to do anything. He concentrated instead on keeping Devin distracted as more students filed in.

Most of them stared for a minute before getting ready for class, talking amongst themselves and pretty much ignoring him. That suited Kane fine. He was in no hurry to make any friends, ot until he had a feel for the place and people. Then he’d see about making friends. Not before. He reached over and patted Devin’s hand when the bell rang, unsurprised to find it trembling.

So the morning went. They were ignored by the other kids and teachers, although the gym teacher made it a point to show them where Devin was to sit. Kane changed into his gym clothes as quickly as he could; Devin had taken one look around the changing room and backed out. Kane would check on him later to make sure Devin was all right.

Devin was sitting on the floor, fiddling with a pencil and sketchpad, surrounded by their schoolbags. He was looking down at his pencil and not up at the girl standing over him talking. Kane’s eyes narrowed as he started over. Devin glanced over and saw him, starting to smile.

“Kane! How wonderful!”

Kane’s starting grin faded. Of course. How had he not recognized the bottle-blonde hair? She had looked to see what drew Devin’s attention and trotted toward Kane with a giant smile, babbling about his good fortune of sharing a class with his girlfriend. Kane snapped that she wasn’t his girlfriend, just as the coach blew the whistle and started shouting. Shooting one last glance at Devin, Kane ran to start class.

She found him at lunch, joining them uninvited and talking the entire time. Kane ignored her. Devin would not eat. Kane ate his own food distractedly, an eye on Devin. He needed to eat. He was still too thin and small despite the major improvements, but he didn’t want to force the issue. Not then. Devin had enough to deal with on the first day.

******

“She’s pretty,” Devin said as they settled into the playroom. Kane wanted to play outside after their snack, but it had started to rain, so they were going for a board game instead.

“Who?”

“Your girlfriend.”

“Girl? I don’t have a girlfr…” Kane stopped what he was doing to stare at Devin, who was not looking at him. “You mean that girl with blonde-from-a-bottle hair?” He snorted when Devin nodded. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“B-but…she…at gym….”

“What did she say at gym?” Jeez, couldn’t he leave Devin alone for a minute without someone starting in on him? He’d’ve thought Devin would be okay while he was sitting in the frigging gym.

Devin didn’t answer, straightening the already neat piles of cards.

“Devi, what did she say?”

“Um…ju…… that she…she’s your….girlfriend, an’…an’…an’…”

Kane covered one of the hands still fiddling with the pile. “And?”

“An’… I…I…I should…should…um…”

“You should what, Devi?” Getting information out of Devin was rarely easy, but this was ridiculous! Still, losing his temper would only make it worse. He was mad at what’s-her-name, not Devin, and he wasn’t going to do anything that would make Devin think otherwise.

“Should….stayoutofherway.”

It took Kane a few seconds to process what Devin said. When he did, he started cursing, saying what he thought of and should to do the girl in question. As he spoke, Devin’s eyes got wider and wider, his mouth dropping open. Finally Kane wound down enough to see the effect his rant was having.

Pulling Devin’s arm, Kane dropped into a chair at the table and tugged the other boy into his lap. He was silent a moment, letting Devin’s presence soothe the remains of his ire. Damn it, he gone and done what he least wanted to do, upset Devin about something that wasn’t his fault!

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said, voice even and firm. “And she’s got no right to talk to you that way. Don’t you listen to a word she says.”

“Yes, Kane.”

“I’m not playing, Devi. Don’t believe anything she says unless you hear it from me.”

“I won’t, Kane. Promise. Won’t listen to nobody you don’t say to.”

“Good boy.” Kane enjoyed the warmth and solidness of Devin cuddled against him. When had he started liking cuddling?

“You…you’ll tell me, won’t you? Whe…when you get a girlfriend?”

Kane laughed, ruffling Devin’s hair. “Never gonna happen, Devi. I don’t like girls.”

“No?”

“Nope. Not a bit.”

Silence. “Oh.” More silence. “When you get a boyfriend, then?”

Kane sighed. He hadn’t wanted to go into this. Not yet. It was too soon. Oh, he could promise, blow the whole thing off until later, but that wasn’t his way. You had to face things head on when they came, not sidestep. He got Devin to sit up, looking him in the eye.

At least Devin knew about SGO. That was something. Kane wasn’t sure what he would have done if Devin hadn’t at least understood about that. Even what he was going to say felt foreign, almost obscene. He was too damned young for this. He shouldn’t have to deal with it until he was out of school at the earliest. Too late now, though. He’d started it, he’d have to see it through.

“I have a boyfriend, Devi.”

Devin looked confused, then sad and lost. “You do?”

Kane nodded. “I sure do.” He had to take it slow. Remember Devin wouldn’t understand immediately.

“Oh.” Devin dropped his gaze, looking somehow sadder. “I…I’m…I’m gl-glad for you.”

“Really?”Devin nodded. “You don’t sound glad. Are you lying to me?”

Kane wiped away the tears that spilled, his voice still quiet and steady.

“Don’t lie to me, Devi. It would break my heart if you did. You aren’t glad, are you?”

“I…I..I want to be,” Devin insisted. “Bu…but…”

“But what?”

“You…you won’t like me anymore.”

“Of course I’ll like you. Nothings gonna change that.” He caressed the black head, pulled it back to his shoulder. What was Devin thinking? Kane couldn’t proceed until he knew. “Tell me, Devi.”

“I want to be happy for you,” Devin whispered, “but…but I don’t want you to have a boyfriend.”

“Why not?”

“Be..because you…you…won’t want me anymore…an’…an’ you’ll wanna be with him an’ not me, an’…an’ you’ll love him an’ not me!”

Devin buried himself in Kane’s neck after his outburst, shuddering with his attempt not to cry.

“Let me tell you about my boyfriend.”

“I don’t wanna know.”

Kane nuzzled his cheek. “Hush. Listen. Right now, this very second, do you know where my boyfriend is? He’s here in my lap, right here. I’ve got my arms around him and I’m holding him – I can feel his heartbeat under my fingers.

“He’s so tiny,” Kane continued, “so little that sometimes I think he’s going to break in half, but he doesn’t. ’Cuz, even though he doesn’t look it, he’s very, very strong. But he lets me take care of him anyway Lets me hold him and cuddle him and bathe and dress him…lets me believe he needs me.”

Devin sat up again, eyes red and puzzled. “But…but I’m in your lap.”

“Yup.”

“But, you said…” Devin tried to understand what Kane was telling him.

Kane smiled, tried again. “The boy is in my lap, the one I think is gonna break but doesn’t, because he’s stronger than he looks. The boy who lets me take care of him, lets me believe he needs me. That’s you.”

Devin frowned, deep in thought. Kane could see Devin was trying, trying hard, but couldn’t get the pieces to fit together. He touched both cheeks, no longer so sallow or sunken, and got Devin’s attention again.

“One more hint,” Kane said. “My boyfriend’s name. Devin.”

“Devin?”

Kane laughed. “That’s his name. My boyfriends name is Devin.”

“That’s my …”

“But I call him ‘Devi’.” Devin’s face, still a mask of confusion, suddenly cleared into tentative joy and pleasure.

“You…you mean me? You …you were talking about me?”

“That’s right. You are my boyfriend, my boy, forever.”

Devin threw himself into Kane and clutched him without a word. His eyes closed in contentment, Kane again caressed the black waves of Devin’s hair. He doubted that was the end of it. Real life was never that neat and absolute, but for now everything was all right.

They got to their game a bit later, playing until dinner. After dinner they did homework, bathed, and crawled into bed. It wasn’t until Devin had fallen asleep that Kane remembered he’d meant to ask about what had scared him in the locker room. He shrugged mentally. There was always tomorrow.