Brother

Dad got home at three, and after taking a shower he came to sit with me under the air conditioning. Some American talk show was on the TV and it took him barely a minute to go for the remote.

“Mind if I?” He asked holding it up.

“Go for it. I’m not watching.”

Sport is instantly on, and after taking a sip of his beer, he looks at me again. “You okay kiddo?”

“Not feeling well.” I mumble.

“Is Dan home? Might see if he wants to-”

“No. He isn’t.” It comes out snappier than I had planned.

“Something happen?”

“Something always happens with Danny, Dad.”

He sighs, not looking as relaxed as he had a minute ago. “Nan leave okay?”

I nod and since he doesn’t know what else to say or do, we stare at the TV and pretend to watch it. A couple of hours later, Mum gets home and I’m still laying on the sofa, while Dad has had enough of my company so it braving the heat and sitting outside reading a fishing magazine. Mum looks exhausted and with the heat in the high thirties, I can only imagine what it’s been like working in a kitchen.

“I’m not cooking dinner tonight. How about we go get fish and chips?” She flops down opposite me and kicks off her shoes.

Dad comes in then, and she makes the same suggestion to him. Since no one wants to cook, it’s a done deal. A family outing without Danny. Nothing new, and I guess it’s a sign of what’s to come. Maybe I am over-reacting, maybe it’s not as bad as I think, and watching my parents talk about their day, oblivious to the fact Danny’s practically moved out; I hate him.

“You’re quiet tonight Sarah. Did Nanna do something before she left?” Mum asks cautiously.

She sits beside me and gently brushes some of my hair away from my face. She smells clean, like her shampoo and the sweet undertones of her perfume lingers around her. Mum has always worn that perfume. I think even if she didn’t use it anymore, she’d still smell like it. Their bedroom was tainted with it too, twenty years of wearing the same smell would do that.

I sit up and give her a hug; needing the comfort only a mother can provide. She pats my back, and her head rests against mine. Closing my eyes, I could be three, twelve or thirty and her hugs would never change.

“Dad said you weren’t feeling well, are you going to be okay to come out with us?”

“Mind if I stay home? I’m not hungry.” I sigh, letting her go.

Her warm palm sits on my forehead, and she frowns. “No temperature, but if you don’t want to, I won’t force you. Probably this heat getting the better of you. Want us to bring you back something?”

“No, thank you.” I sink back into the cushions and she reluctantly leaves with Dad.

Eventually I move up to my room and lay on my bed instead, staring at my phone. Danny doesn’t call and three days later, he still hadn’t.

Luckily Mum had a wedding taking place on the weekend so her hours increased accordingly to start preparing for it, and Dad had a big job a couple of hours away, so his work was paying for them to stay there rather than driving back and forth. When they asked about Danny, I lied and he said he was staying with friends; that he’d come home and got some stuff, before going out again.

Since Baz had a car he was getting for the drags in early January, they just presumed that was taking up all of Danny’s time like it had last year. Guilt had me feeling sick, and I couldn’t convince myself that I was doing the right thing. It only made it worse and with my parents busy, I didn’t have to keep pretending I was fine around them. The same applied to my friends too.

Rachelle had gone back up to the city with her parents to see their family, and everyone was busy in the lead up to christmas. Those with family businesses were made to work, and since I had finished school, Mrs Johns had me working afternoons and all weekend.

On Sunday during my lunch break, Danny finally called, and I ignored it.

-x-

“Sarah, dinner!” Mums voice managed not only to get upstairs, but through my bedroom door, all the way from the kitchen. I think it was a talent of hers and even as kids when we’d be out playing, she’d call and we’d hear her. I swear she had a hidden microphone sometimes.

I wasn’t hungry, but if I skipped out on dinner again, she’d start worrying and I didn’t want that. I barely made it to the top of the stairs when I knew it wasn’t going to be the three of us again. I couldn’t hear or see him, but I knew Danny was home.

Sure enough he sat at the dining table with Dad, the pair talking about the latest results in some type of sport. He barely glanced my way as I was handed a bowl of salad to put on the table and Mum expertly carried in the four plates with a piece of steak on each. Clearly she knew he was coming home tonight. I wondered if this was because I ignored his calls and hadn’t returned them yesterday?

I managed to eat about half of my dinner, before excusing myself before the others had finished. They could play happy families without me, I was done pretending that everything was okay. As expected, Danny came up to see me as soon as he could and the new addition of a lock on my door had me feeling oddly satisfied as he knocked and couldn’t get in.

“Sarah, talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Then let me talk to you!” He argued, knocking again.

“No!” I put my earphones in and turned up the volume, idly flipping through pages of the fashion magazine. It didn’t take long for even that to stop working and I opened my door to find Danny looking beyond annoyed. “Let me explain this to you Danny. When a door closed, and locked, it usually means the person on the other side doesn’t want to see you.”

I spoke slowly, happy to patronise him in the process.

“You’re a selfish jerk. You promised you’d call everyday. Does that ring any bells in that thick head of yours?”

“I forgot, and when I did call you, you didn’t answer!” He actually wanted to argue over it.

“Sorry, my bad. Danny calls, quick, drop everything, because he finally decided to call!” I snapped, shutting the door in his face.

Before I could lock it again, he’d come in and closed it.

“We took care of it, okay. It’s over. We can go back to normal.” Danny told me.

That got my attention. “What?”

“That night, they came to the Blakes. I went to with Mike to the city and met that Scott guy. It’s why I didn’t call, I couldn’t with them around.”

“You went and saw Scott Fellan?” I’d done some googling about him, and it wasn’t good. Michael’s Mum was barely a dot on the radar when it came to bad things he’d been cleared from. One of those crime shows even had a whole episode about him and that only touched on half of the allegations that had been thrown his way. “Are you fucking insane?”

“It’s not like I had a choice. We were asked to go, and if we didn’t, he’d probably come down here and that wouldn’t be good!”

“So what happened?”

“Honestly, not a lot. I got to go to the casino, he took us out to dinner, we got to run around as wolves. Mike thinks he was testing me, to see if I could offer anything to him.”

“And?”

“I’m still alive aren’t I?” He shrugged. “He seems like an okay kind of bloke. Apart from the whole, criminal thing. He told me the importance of keeping our secret, and if I didn’t, he’d make sure it was the last thing I did. Apart from that, the Blakes exile still stands and we’re being left alone.”

“That’s it? Just, nice to meet you, keep quiet, and have a nice day?” I didn’t believe it for a second.

“Yeah. Mike must’ve just been paranoid.” Danny concluded.

“Hey Dan, thinking of going for a fish tonight. Good conditions for squid, you keen?” Dad interupted.

“Sure Dad, I’ll just get changed.”

He smiled, seeming to think that everything really was okay now. I wanted to punch him,

“Relax Sar! Now that part is over, I told Mike I’m not interested in this pack shit. It’s done okay? We can just, go back to normal.” He held my gaze, and I didn’t back down despite the way I saw him fidget as it turned into a staring contest.

I didn’t, I couldn’t believe it was that simple and when he said things could go back to normal, what did that mean? Normal wasn’t much different to this, only except now he could blame turning into a wolf for his random disappearing act and bad attitude.

“Be careful Danny.” I surprised myself by sounding calmer than I felt, yet Danny instantly looked like he was in trouble and I’d just told him the world was ending.

With a nod, he dropped his gaze and his head fell forward slightly as he seemed to shrink in size. “I will.”

It sounded like a promise and slowly, he moved towards the door; once again not looking at me.

Weird.

As soon as he had left with Dad, I went downstairs to find Mum cutting up some of the wedding cake that had been left after the wedding on Saturday night and I didn’t reject the slab of red velvet that she passed over to me.

“Is it worth asking what’s going on with you and Danny this time?” She sighed.

“No.”

“I won’t then. Eat the cake, you’re looking like you’ve lost weight this week. Do you need to go see the doctor?”

“Must’ve just been a stomach bug or something. I’m fine, honest. I’m feeling better already.” Just to make sure, she cut me another mammoth size piece of cake and once I’d even eaten that, she went to bed thanks to her early start and I went to get my phone. It took five minutes of staring at it, before I actually hit call.

“Hey Bright Eyes!” Michael greeted with his usual tone of smugness.

“Sarah. My name is Sarah, how is that so hard for you to deal with?”

“Sorry, Sarah, what’s up? Brother dearest home, all safe and sound?” He sneered.

Even over the phone I can just imagine him standing there full of his own self importance.

“Danny said it’s over, but I don’t believe him.” I admitted.

“And you believe me enough to call? I’m almost honoured!”

“Michael, please! Just, is it true? Are we safe?” Exhaustion kicked in, and I just wanted to know if I’d be able to sleep easier tonight.

“For now, yes.” He answered seriously. “You okay?”

“Thanks.” I left it at that, and crawled into bed.

Sleep found me, only I found myself waking up every ten minutes. I was too hot, then too cold. My pillows felt like they had been replaced with bricks and someone had hid nails in my mattress. Any time I closed my eyes, I was certain I felt another presence in the room, but there wasn’t and I faked being asleep when Danny and Dad got home.

It was nearly midnight when I got up and checking on Danny, he was sound asleep, clearly not having any of the same issues as me. Dad’s snores were heard from down the other end of the hall and going downstairs, I grabbed some water and went to sit outside. The swing chair on the deck had the comfort my bed lacked and the humidity in the air stopped the night from getting too cold.

Closing my eyes, I focused my thoughts on a clear blue ocean. Sunshine. The warm sand, and burying my toes into it. I thought of ice cream and bike rides. Jumping off the rocks and riding the waves while the dolphins played on the horizon. It was the Summer I was used to, but had barely caught a glimpse of and my happy thoughts started to change. Bronze skin, the security of being held. Soft lips and hot kisses, while he whispers my name...

“Sarah?” That sounded too real to be part of my happy thoughts. “Are you asleep?”

“Yes.” I mumble.

“Okay.”

The crunch of someone walking on the gravel in the garden around the deck, has my eyes snapping open and I quickly sit up, nearly falling of the chair as it swings with my sudden burst of activity.

“Michael? What the hell are you doing in my backyard?”

He stops from where he was about to jump over the back gate and turns to walk back over.

“I was out the front and tried calling, but then I found you out here.” He explains, almost sheepishly as he stops in front of me. “Just wanted to check on you.”

“How did you find me out here? ”

“Well, I heard the door and after I called you again, I thought I’d check it out and then I saw you and yeah.” He shrugged, because sneaking into people’s back yards was totally normal.

“You need to learn boundaries!”

“Noted. So, you okay?”

His hands are buried into the pockets of his sweatpants and thanks to the singlet he has on, I can see the bandage over his shoulder.

“Tired. It’s been a month from hell.” I stand up, and point to his arm. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing. Couple of days it’ll have nearly healed completely. You look like you’re about to fall over, why are you out here and not in bed?”

“Couldn’t sleep, which I guess worked out well otherwise some jerk would’ve woke me up with his phone calls anyway.” I mumble.

“Your phones on silent,” He tells me, and I look him surprised. “I couldn’t hear it ringing.”

“Oh right, your hearing thing.”

Michael nods, and motions to the swing. He’s right, I even feel like I could fall down as my legs feel like jelly with the due to the effort going into staying standing. I sit and try not to cringe as he sits beside me.

“So, why couldn’t you sleep?” Michael asks.

He doesn’t look like his usual jerk self right now and the voice in the back of my head that is usually furious and eager to hurt him has shut up. If anything, his presence here, feels, nice; secure. I feel myself blinking more, my eyelids too heavy to keep open for longer than a couple seconds.

“Maybe I’m too tired and I can’t?” I sigh, leaning back in the chair as he swings us a little bit. “Do you ever sleep?”

I give in and close my eyes.

“Yeah, but I’m good with a few half hour naps here and there. I rarely just, sleep.” The chair wobbles as he moves and as I manage to look at him, my legs are turned so they now rest over his lap. Without thinking, I sink back against the side cushion, finally finding the comfortable spot I’ve been looking for all night. “Go to sleep Sarah, you don’t need to have one eye open tonight.”

There is no argument or protesting of any kind and I do as he says.

-x-

Its the magpie’s tune that wakes me; a clucking caw of a sound that wasn’t harsh like a crows. My neck feels a little stiff and as I yawn, I open my eyes to find the culprit bouncing around the land. The early bird gets the worm, and also a shower as the sprinklers shoot up out of the ground. The damp earth smells adds to the crispness of the morning. It’s then the warm body beside me shifts slightly while an arm tightens over my shoulders, which is actually feels really nice.

Wait, what?

I’m up in an instant, startling the birds that gathered to enjoy the water and falling off the swing, I quickly stand. Michael stretches, lazily raising his arms up over his head until the injury on his shoulder stops him.

“You can’t be here!” I whisper angrily at him,

“You didn’t seem to care last night?” And the brief memory I have of him not being an asshole is ruined, as the Michael I know and hate, is back. “And who would have guessed, that you sore?”

“Get out of here!” I point at the gate, and he doesn’t like he is in any hurry to go anywhere.

The sprinklers send a rainbow haze over the backyard in the early morning light and judging by how quiet everything is, no one else is awake yet. Explaining, this, what ever it actually is, wasn’t high on my list of things to do at dawn.

“Sleep well, Bright Eyes?” Michael sways back and forth, clearly loving my discomfort.

I did actually. I feel like I’ve had about twelve hours and a can of Redbull to go with it, but instead I only glare at him. “Get. Out!”

“Fine, a please wouldn’t go astray.” He stands, careful with how he stretches again. “Till next time.”

He salutes me before walking to the gate, careful to avoid the water. Instead of opening it like a normal person would, he has pulled himself over the top in one single step, and just like that is gone.

“Sarah, what are you doing up this early?” Dad calls from the door and coming out, he glances around the yard before looking at me.

“I was going to give yoga another try, but then the sprinklers came on and, I think I’ll just go shower. I have work at nine and don’t want to be late!” I kiss his cheek as I rush inside.

“It’s only six o'clock?” He muses, and I’m up the stairs before he can ask me anything else.