Broken Vows

I stood silent and still, watching them look at each other with so much love. The numbness in my heart is taking over slowly. My heart is as cold as my body from the wind still blowing. It feels like ice on my skin. How will I ever find this hope he says I am meant to find? As they turn to leave, Lilith is tucked under his arm, my thoughts jumbled and confused; they are just leaving me now. They are leaving me alone like this with my thoughts, my confusion, and the pain. What do I even do now?

“Willow, we should go inside. You are freezing.” Rana is standing by me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I had nearly forgotten she was there.

“Where do I go now? There is no home for me.” My body slumps a bit. I’m so tired. Everything in me is drained, and I will never find my way to this hope without Lilith to guide me. I had come to rely on her more than I once thought I would.

“We should go inside. You need some rest, and so do I. We probably aren’t leaving here anytime soon.” Rana wraps her arm around me, helping to support my body. I know she must be as tired as I am. We spent all we had just binding Hadeon and sending him somewhere that he couldn’t harm anyone else. I hate the thought of walking into the castle, and it is alarming that no one has come out of it to see what has transpired. Then I begin to wonder if there is even anyone left inside.

Making our way to the door is slow and painful, but we do make it only to find that there is no one there. It seems everyone is gone now. Did they all meet the same fate as Serena? Or did they run? I may never know.

“Let’s just find a spare room. I can’t go all the way to my room, and I never want to set foot there again.” I mumble, and Rana seems to agree. We make it to the first guest room and fall onto the bed, both too tired to think or care.

***

I don’t know how long we slept, but the sounds of men’s shouts woke Rana and me. She is the first to get up and call out to them. My brain is slow to realize who they are or what they are even saying. Rana is at the door at the same time as her father, and he wraps her in his arms.

“You had me so scared. What happened? Where is he?” Rich is frantically looking her over for injury, then looking at me.

“We are okay, and Hadeon is gone; I will explain, father, but I just want to leave this awful place, and I’m sure Willow does as well.” Rana hugs her father again, getting comfort from his presence; at the moment, we seem to have won. Hadeon is gone, and people are safe. This brings me no enjoyment though. I am now stuck in a life of uncertainty and regret, left with death’s words to find the hope.

***

The trip back to the dragon stronghold is all a blur to me so are the several days after it. I’m lost in myself, and my magic isn’t returning, just as death warned me. Everyone around me is a buzz with excitement and life. The dragons seem to think staying locked away from the rest of the world is best for them. They insist on waiting for their king to return to them, and they are confident that he will. I would love to know where this hope of theirs stems from. I can’t find anything to hope for. I have taken up residence in Lilith’s tiny cottage, but with her gone, it feels so empty, or perhaps I feel so empty that it is reflected in the space.

“Willow, are you ever planning on going outside again? I think it would do you some good.” Rana is sitting at the table, picking at the pile of herbs. “Why don’t you come with me? I’m going to go and visit Jakob’s pack and a few of the others as well. We could travel together.”

This is not the first time Rana has brought up the subject of me going with her, but I just don’t know what to tell her. “I don’t think I would be very good company for you,” I claim honestly.

“Your company is always wanted. I didn’t ask you to go with me for me. I think it would be good for you to see more of the world. Many of the shifters are still untrusting of magic now. I hope I can fix that, but if anything, we could just hide what we are.” Rana ponders thoughtfully to herself. Many of the shifters banned all contact with any witch or wizard after everything Hadeon had put them through. Some of his underlings are still causing trouble and carrying on with what he was trying to do. Without their leader, though, they are disorganized and lacking his power. Most have been quickly dealt with. Unfortunately, the years of abuse and fear have left bad feelings toward many witches and wizards, causing them to only hide themselves more, not that there are many of them left.

“Well, I am practically human now.” I remark as I pour the tonic I made into a bottle. I seem to have taken Lilith’s place as a healer along with her residence.

“Well, then it should be easy enough. Pack a bag and meet me in the morning.” Rana seems to have made my mind up for me, and I sigh. There appears to be no getting out of it. Perhaps I will find this hope I was told to look for.

***

We did everything Rana wanted to do. We went everywhere we could, and she blossomed because of it. She found so much of whom she wanted to be, and her joy was worth seeing, I tried my best to enjoy it as well, and we met so many new people in the months that we flitted around the world. We even stayed with Gavin again for a time, and I enjoyed his company and our talks. I was surprised to find him to be so thoughtful and quiet most of the time. He was nothing like the man most of his people saw.

I was troubled when the dreams started to find me again. I could hear the strange voice that now seems so familiar to me. I listen to the voice so much I know it as well as Rana’s or my own.

I would hear my daughter laughing or crying at first, but her presents soon left my dreams, and I could not find where she had gone. I tried to speak to the voice I heard, but my words couldn’t penetrate that place. Only her voice could seem to find its way to me.

This is my life now. I have given up my power to save people that still don’t like my kind. I’m plagued with dreams filled with a voice I don’t know asking me to find a way. She won’t tell me anything more only calls my name and says to keep going; I am needed. I don’t know what I could possibly be needed for.

The months dragged on, and I soon grow so tired of the traveling I need to be alone; I need to find my way. Rana and I eventually parted ways. I left her in the care of Jakob and his pack. She seemed to like it there and would always find her way back them. I never returned to the stronghold. Instead, I found a small place outside Bryer to live a quiet and simple life. Rich and Elizabeth took up my post as the supreme. I felt unfit to fill the role.

Years ticked slowly and painfully, but I soon stopped counting them. They didn’t mean anything to me. Every day was the same, and soon I looked up to find the world had changed around me. I don’t know when it happened or how. I received word from Rana that she traveled the world again, and when she visited Jakob’s pack again, she found all his children grown with their own children. She found her mate there, and he happens to be Jakob’s oldest grandson. She was so happy in her new life that even having to hide what she is doesn’t bother her. She found him, and she is happy. He loves her, and she is content. I hadn’t seen her in years, and I don’t know when I will. I don’t leave this place. The views on magic had only gotten worse, not better, as time marched on.

When I look in the mirror now, the face I see is unfamiliar. I have aged slowly, but the old woman that looks at me with my eyes, I don’t know her. I have lost all touch with the world, and time keeps slipping. I can’t find this hope I was supposed to find, and I feel like I’m just waiting for death to come back, disappointed in what I have become and how I have failed.

That was when she found me. At my lowest and most lost, the dreams came back to me but were so vibrant I could see this girl. She looked so much like Rana, and I thought I was dreaming of her as a child, but this girl was with a man I didn’t know.

“Why?” she asked the man sitting in the beat-up truck with her. The little girl held the wildflowers in her lap and looked so sad. When the dream ends, I try not to think of it. It was just a dream; I tell myself it was nothing more than a dream. When I find this girl in every dream, I have from that night on. The voice is back in my dreams, murmuring in my ear. That this girl will need me, and I need her. I have to find her, but I don’t know where to look. I use every dream as a clue and begin my search for her. I understand that the world is different, and many things have changed. I have lost touch with everyone I once knew; even Rana stopped trying after a time. She was living with her family, and I wished them only happiness.

It took me years to find this girl, but I found her sitting alone in that cell, looking so afraid. I had seen them take her, and I had been following the rogues. They are up to something, but it doesn’t matter much to me. I found what I was meant to find at last. I found her and the words of death came rushing back to me. He is not gone. He may find a way back. We can only hope he doesn’t.

I don’t know what Hadeon is planning or how it could be him. I don’t even know if it is Hadeon or my own paranoia at this point. It doesn’t matter because I found her. When she looks up at me, I smile and pull a cookie out of my pocket. I snuck it down to her. The leader of the rogues is a horrible man, but I am a frail old woman now. What can I possibly do other than stay with this child and try and protect her? The voice warned me that I could make things worse by telling her too much about anything, and he is only a child now. She is meant to be here, and so am I, so this is where we stay until I am told otherwise, I suppose.