Broken Vows

Lilith

I open my eyes slowly almost hating that I have to open my eyes at all. The pain is a little better than before. I still feel like my heart is burning out of my chest. I wish it would just kill me and be done with it. I groan as I try to sit up. Someone helps me. I see Rana is the one sitting with me when I force my eyes open. She hands me a cup with fowl-smelling sludge in it.

“Drink that if you know what’s good for you,” the horse and haggard voice barks.

I look and see the strange old woman. Gray hair is piled in an unruly mess on her head, looking more like a nest for birds than anything else. Her skin looks like weathered leather, full of wrinkles and more than a few brown age spots. Her hands look like knobby claws; her sharp features have not softened by her age. If anything, her age only enhances her strong angular features. I know I have never seen anyone as ancient as she looks. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around her strange appearance.

“Stupid girl, there are worst things than looking and being old. Stop gawking at me and drink that now,” she orders again. There is no compassion in her tone.

I reluctantly take the cup from Rana as she gives me a sympathetic look.

“Pay no mind; she means well.” Rana gives a small half smile as the old woman gives an audible snort of disgust.

“I think the fool deserves most of what has happened to her. The child didn’t deserve it, but she does. Vain stupid little-” the old woman’s rant is cut short by Rana.

“That is enough, Lilith. Willow needs our help, and you agreed to help her.” Rana is calm, she is but sterner than I have ever heard her before.

“I agreed to help her, and I am. I didn’t agree to like her or not tell her exactly what I think of her.” Lilith snorts again and goes about smashing some herbs with a pestle. She uses quite a bit more force than necessary as she mutters to herself.

“Just drink this. I promise it will help. Just try and ignore Lilith. She takes some getting used to,” Rana says in her typical soothing tone.

“Lilith isn’t wrong. I am what she says,” I murmur through the pain as I bring the cup of sludge to my mouth and begin to choke it down.

The thick slime burns like hot tar and tastes like tar as well. I choke all of it down and sit with my mouth tightly clamped shut, trying to prevent it from returning. The burning in my chest starts to lessen, though. I feel like I can breathe again. I still want nothing more than to lie down and cry myself to death, but at least the physical pain is lessening.

“Well, I know I’m right, and you know I’m right, so let’s go about fixing it then.” Lilith stopped grinding the herbs and dumps them in a pot. Sputters of steam billow up. It smells like burned pumpkins.

“What do you mean?” I shoot up from the little cot I’m lying on, but my legs are still shaky, and I collapse back down.

“What do you mean to fix it? How can I get my Serena back? Do you know where Cadmus is?”

“No,” Lilith says flatly, stirring the pot that now smells like lavender.

“Well then, what, how do I fix anything?” I want to shake her, and I’m trying not to scream at her. I can’t imagine this crusty old woman would take too kindly to any insult from me.

“Well, first, I must finish stripping away some of the spells still lingering on you. He had a fair number, that’s for sure. It is surprising passing through the border didn’t kill you. If I had known he had that many, I would have had them wait before bringing you in.

“What did happen? I really don’t remember anything but the pain.”

I tried to recall everything that happened, but it feels like a dream that I can’t remember. I see my daughter and a strange girl. I even think I saw my mother. All of it feels so unreal and untouchable.

“You passed into a place that isn’t death but isn’t life either. It’s the place in between. The spells that creature put on you nearly killed you and sent you there,” Lilith explains, eyeing me with her strange golden-colored eyes.

“And before you think too hard about it, you can’t go there. It would take someone much more powerful than you to get there and not get stuck there. You need to keep your soul in your body. Don’t be doing anything else stupid.”

“But I saw-“Lilith cuts me off.

“I said no, you can’t go there! I don’t care who or what you saw there. It’s not a place for you.” Lilith’s golden eyes glare at me as the potion sputters next to her.

“It’s for your own good. I know you don’t understand that now, but it is. You are not meant for that place. That creature you call a husband has corrupted it. It was once a place that death could use to help guide the lost souls to the rest they deserve. Now, death isn’t able to reach the void and help them. They are lost and trapped. Hadeon is holding the dark part of death hostage. It can’t escape him. Death can’t reunite with the light now. Death is darkness and light; it destroys life, but it also brings peace and relief. Death isn’t good or evil. It just is what it is, but Hadeon has taken hold of part of it and won’t let it go. Hadeon is corrupting death to serve his own purposes.” Lilith stirs the pot next to her and lets her words sink in. I look at Rana as I try to fathom what I have just been told.

“I know that is a lot to hear. We really only just became aware of what Hadeon was truly doing. We thought he was just using dark magic, but clearly, it’s more than that. We don’t know when or how he trapped death, but he did. Everything is out of balance now. Souls are trapped or just unable to find rest without death to guide them. We don’t know what Hadeon is doing with the souls he takes,” Rana says, and the troubled look in her eyes makes my blood run cold.

“I know what he’s doing with them. I know why he’s collecting them,” I whisper in shock and horror.

“He told me he can feel them all. Even our own daughter is a part of him now. He’s absorbing them somehow. He is taking their powers or just their life to add to himself and make himself stronger.”

Rana gasps and covers her mouth in horror. I just revealed to her the greatest sin and crime any of our kind can commit. It is an abomination of every vow we take, and a corruption of our very soul. Lilith just nods in understanding.

“I was afraid that was what was happening. There is no other reason I could think of that he would be holding death hostage. I don’t even think Hadeon is completely aware that he has a piece of death. I don’t think he would reveal his name to Hadeon.”

“Death has a name?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“Of course he does, foolish child. But death doesn’t tell just anyone his name. If Hadeon did learn death’s name, then Hadeon would become death’s master completely. We must stop that from happening. We don’t need that monster to be the master of death. I still don’t think Hadeon knows what he has. As I said, he has only managed to contain a piece of death. Imagine what he could do if he gathered all of it,” Lilith states so plainly that I feel stupid for saying anything.

She pours the contents of the sputtering pot into a mug and hobbles her way over to me.

“Drink this now,” she orders me.

I take the cup eyeing it and remembering the last cup of sludge I had to drink. My mouth begins to water as my stomach turns unpleasantly, threatening to reject its contents again. Lilith seems to almost take pity on me for a moment.

“It’s not as bad as the last one. It will calm your stomach. Drink it hot now,” Lilith orders again, but there is almost a tone of sympathy in her stern voice. I think this old woman could command an army, and they would cower before her. She looks frail and weak, but she is clearly anything but that.

I drink the hot liquid as quickly as possible without burning my mouth on the scalding liquid.

“Lilith, who are you anyway? Are you a witch? Are you a dragon?” I ask between sips.

She starts laughing, a burst of cackling laughter that cracks and makes the hair on my arms stand on end. I look at Rana, and her eyes go wide. I guess I wasn’t supposed to ask that question from the look on Rana’s face. She has her mouth shut tight as the old woman stops laughing.

“I was human once a long time ago. Now I don’t really know what I am,” Lilith responds, almost daring me to ask more questions.

The drink she gave me is starting to burn my throat even though it is no longer hot. I look at Rana, and she shakes her head a little, but I have to know what this woman is. She can’t be human.

“How can you not know what you are?” I ask tentatively, trying to drink more of the liquid. My limbs are feeling heavy, and my vision is blurring.

“Simple, I have changed so much throughout time. I’m death’s wife. Even death has a partner, and I would like to have him returned to me.”

Lilith’s golden eyes flash like fire. I would have been in a panic if it wasn’t for the effects of that drink. Everything is heavy, and I can’t seem to move or think. I can feel Rana laying me back gently. I even hear her arguing with Lilith. Rana is upset. Lilith said too much too soon.

Their voices feel far away and dream-like as the heaviness takes me. I see the bright nothing and hear the soft laughter of my Serena. I want to follow it, but someone is stopping me. I see lavender eyes, and I feel the firm push back. I want so much to scream. I just want to follow my sweet girl’s laughter. I even hear her calling me to come and find her just like all the times we played hide and seek. I try again to follow the sound deeper into the nothingness, but the violet eyes and firm push back. It knocks me far back. The strong voice that sounds as sweet as bells shouts:

“Not yet! You have to wait!”

“But please, I just want to see her,” I plead to the nothing.

“Not yet! You have to wait. You must be stronger than this. You have to be strong for her, or you will never find her again,” the voice rings through the nothingness.

I feel the tears running down my face. I don’t understand any of this. I just want to be with her. I don’t care if I am stuck in the nothing so long as I am with her.

“Please be strong little enchantress.”

My breath hitches at the familiar voice now in my mind.

“Cadmus,” I breathe.

The next thing I know, I’m being ripped back to reality as ice-cold water is dumped on me.

“Oh good, that worked. I really didn’t want to go and get you,” Lilith huffs as I pant in shock in a freezing puddle of water.