Broken Souls

Alpha Aaron’s POV

I didn’t want a second chance, but now that I have it, the idea of losing it is killing me. So is the painfully sad look on Kay’s very beautiful face. I need to figure out what is going on in her head.

“Kay, I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s going on in your head. Will you talk to me?” I’m trying to keep my distance. I’m trying to give her and myself space, but every part of me wants to hold her.

Kay’s POV

I need to explain, and then maybe he’ll understand. I wish I had left before today. I just want to keep everyone safe, especially him. I know I’m not good enough. I take a deep breath as I try to ignore the fact that his whole office smells like his wonderfully calming scent.

I finally decide I need to sit and try to talk to him, and it’s going to be hard to explain. I sit on the couch in his office and look at him. He’s still standing by the door, his eyes swirling with hurt and other emotions I can’t figure out.

“How much about me do you know?” I manage to finally ask him.

He slowly walks over to an oversized chair that’s close to the couch and sits down. He is running his hands through his long shaggy hair, and I try not to let my thoughts get distracted.

He sighs and finally looks at me and replies, “I have to admit I don’t know a lot. Oriel says you don’t talk about yourself much. I know when you came here, you were really bad off. I know how we found you. I know you have nightmares about monsters. Will you tell me about it?”

I nod slowly, thinking about it. I really haven’t talked to anyone, so he couldn’t understand. “Okay, this isn’t easy for me, and I don’t really know where to start.” I feel lost in my thoughts and emotions, but he waits for me to collect my thoughts.

“My mom died when I was ten. My dad and I thought it was hunters. They killed her and burned our house; then, it was just my dad and me. He was human, and my mom was a werewolf, but they were mates and so in love.

It broke my dad when she was killed. Then, when I was thirteen, the rogue found our cabin in the woods and killed him. I ran from there, but John found me and took me to the Boss. I was there for four years. I tried to run away quite a few times, but the Boss or John always caught me.

They always found me. I would be punished, locked up, and beaten ’til they thought I learned my lesson. I don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore because of me. They always find me, and I know Oriel says the Boss is dead, but I don’t believe it. I don’t think monsters die. I believe he has the rest of his rogues in hiding with him. There were more than the few at the pack house when you found us. Hundreds or maybe thousands of them.

Before you attacked him, I was snooping in his office, trying to figure out his plans or a way I could get away and get help. That’s how I got locked up, and why I was being beaten. The wolf bane was a new punishment. I am his favorite thing to hurt. The Boss will come for me. I can’t risk being found. So you see, you have to reject me. You just have to. He’s going to find me. He always does.” The tears start falling all over again, and I feel like what’s left of my heart is even more broken than before.

He surprises me with his words: “Thank you for telling me.” He looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him.

“You don’t understand what I’m telling you, Alpha Aaron.”

I try to tell him again, but he cuts me off this time, “I do understand that you don’t want anyone to get hurt, right? You’re afraid.” I nod slowly at his words, “Do you know what happens when you reject a mate?” He asks me.

When I don’t answer, he takes my hand, “Don’t put me through that pain. I lived through losing my mate once, and rejection hurts just as bad. Don’t ask me that.”

I hadn’t thought how badly rejection would hurt him. More tears fall from my eyes. No matter what it seems like, I’ll just hurt him.

“Don’t cry.” He almost sounds sorry. I look at him and his warm dark honey eyes.

“Alpha Aaron,” I start, but he stops me.

“I have done everything I possibly can. I want to find that monster for so many more reasons now, but there is no trace of him. I can’t promise that he’s dead, but I can promise to protect you from him. This pack is strong, and there is no evidence that he’s anywhere. The rogue attacks have almost stopped. There are only a few small groups that seem to be left, but we are watching for anything strange. That’s all we can do. I don’t know how he can hide hundreds of rogues.”

Then I hear the faint whisper in my mind again: “You should listen to him.”

“Why can’t I feel you more?” I franticly call out in my mind.

“Because you are still recovering and your body needs to be stronger. It has taken a lot to heal you this much. It will just take time, but I am here with you, and he’s our mate. I like him.” I can’t help but smile a little. I have a wolf. I was worried I didn’t have one at all.

“What’s your name?”

“Diana.”

I notice Aaron is watching me, and I blush. The moment is short before he crushes me without even knowing it or caring. “Now, this is going to be difficult. I don’t want a Luna or need one. You will not be made, Luna. You can stay here, and I will protect you, but that will be it. I don’t want this. Do you understand me? You will keep away from me.”

I nod slowly, and he instantly looks more relaxed. I’m in shock. He doesn’t really want me. He just wants me around, so his wolf won’t go crazy. I’m a prisoner again, only in a different kind of jail. Diana is crying and whimpering in my head, and more tears fall from my eyes.

His words cut through me again: “I think you should go to your room now.” I nod my head and leave his office. I feel broken. He doesn’t really want me. He’s just stuck with me.

I get to my room and cry on my bed for hours. I think Oriel knocks on the door at some point, but I can’t face anyone. I think I may die from this pain; Diana tries to comfort me, but her heart is just as broken.

Alpha Aaron’s POV

Griffin is fuming at me for what I say to Kay. He is trying to take over, so he can go and be with her like he wants, but I refuse. I won’t do this again. I won’t love and lose another mate.

I’m in the process of trying not to destroy my office when Oriel comes barreling in.

“Not now, Oriel.” I try and warn her, but she’s not having it.

“What the hell did you do, Aaron?” She asks, her hands on her hips.

“I’m keeping her here, but that’s all. She won’t be, Luna, and I want you to keep her away from me, and that’s final,” I warn her.

Oriel looks like she wants to murder me. “You can’t ignore the mate bond. Did you tell her that?” She’s yelling now.

“Yes, I did, and I’ll do as I like. I’m Alpha!” It’s my turn to start yelling.

“You can’t be that mean Aaron. She’s sweet and been through so much. I don’t think I have ever been so disappointed in you.” She isn’t yelling now, and she looks like I hurt her.

I’m even angrier. “Get the hell out of my office!” I yell at her.

She turns and sneers, “Gladly.” And with that, she’s gone.

Once the door closes, I can’t hold back anymore, and nothing in my office is safe from my fists and claws. After I destroy my office, I quickly leave the pack house. I make it out of the front door and shift, shredding my clothes, and take off for the woods.

By the time I return to the pack house, it’s dark and probably very late. I shift, and I grab some spare shorts stashed in the trees outside the pack house. I don’t know how I’m going to manage this. I have to stay away from her but not too far, or my strength will begin to suffer. I don’t want to be close to her.

I walk into the pack house and head to my room, but I end up outside her door. I stop outside the door trying to listen. I can hear her crying softly, and my heart hurts at the sound. I force myself to leave and go to my room. I need to block her out and keep her out of my heart.

In the morning, I’ll have her banned from the training grounds and possibly the kitchen. I don’t want her anywhere I could run into her. Griffin is still whining in my head, and I know I won’t get any sleep. Lucky, I need to go meet with another pack for a few days. Hopefully, that will give me time to figure out if rejecting her would be better. Could I live through that?

Kay’s POV

I only manage to sleep a few hours before nightmares wake me up. The day’s events have me in tears again. I wish I had left sooner. Now, I’m basically a prison again. He doesn’t want me. Maybe I should just reject him. Diana howls in my head.

“I think we should wait to reject him. He may come around to us. His wolf wants us.” She sounds so sure of herself.

“How do you know that?” I ask her.

“I just know. I can feel it. He’s hurting and afraid. The moon goddess gave him to us and us to him. I think it will help both of you to heal and be strong. I think we should give him time.”

I don’t really think I want to. I don’t really want a mate at all, and he doesn’t want me. The fact that he doesn’t want me should make me happy, but it doesn’t. I just feel so lost and broken. My heart and soul ache so badly.

I finally shower and dress, throwing my wet hair up in a messy bun. It’s early, and I’m trying to sort out all my thoughts as I sit back down on my still made bed. The door opens, and I don’t even look up. I know it’s Oriel. She comes over to me sitting in the bed and hugs me like I might disappear. The tears start falling from my eyes all over again. Oriel holds me and rubs my back as I sob. She just lets me cry until I can’t cry anymore.

Oriel gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back with tissues and a glass of water. I take the tissues and blow my nose, then drink some water. Oriel sits down with me.

“I’m sorry Kay. This isn’t fair to you at all. He’s being stupid, and he’ll see that. I know he will.” Oriel sounds just as sad as I feel. “If he doesn’t get his head on straight soon, I’m going to kick his ass.” She nudges me a little making me smile just a little.

“Oriel, why doesn’t he want me?” I can’t help but ask. I just have to know. Oriel let’s out a long breath.

“He’s just scared. He lost his mate in a rogue attack a few years ago, and he’s never been the same. He couldn’t save her during the attack, and she died in his arms. It’s a pain that he barely lived through.”

“It was rogues, wasn’t it? That’s why he hates the Boss so much. Oh……” The pieces click into place, and I wonder why I didn’t get it sooner. Oriel is looking at me with a puzzled look.

I sigh then explain, “The rogue attack. It was four years ago. I had been with the rogues for a little while by then, and I remember that night. The Boss was so mad I thought he would rip the pack house down. I’m sorry that he lost her that night.” Oriel blinks a few times and a tier slips from her eye.

Oriel gives me a hug. “Well, he’s still being stupid, and he’s going to regret being such an ass. But I unfortunately have to tell you the new rules.” She says glaring at the door of my bed room. I get the feeling she’s wishing it was Alpha Aaron.

“What new rules?” I finally ask her.

She sighs deeply again: “No training grounds, no kitchen, and no common areas. Also, no one is to know that you two are mates. Michael knows and I know, that’s it. There are a few whispers because of yesterday, but Aaron says ignore them, and they will stop whispering eventually.”

I’m in shock. I can’t leave my room. What am I going to do? I will lose my mind being cooped up. I can feel Diana growling.

“He will not keep us trapped up here,” Diana seethes.

Oriel is reading my face. “Don’t worry love. He’s already left on business and won’t be back for days. Ms. Walker says she doesn’t care what he wants. She wants you in the kitchen whenever you want. It’s just when he’s here you need to be careful. I think you should be around each other. He won’t be able to resist you and the mate bond eventually,” she says with a wink.

“I don’t want him to be forced to want me because of the mate bond. I just want to be free of all of this.” I can’t help but feel depressed. My freedom was short lived, and I am sad to have it gone so soon. Oriel hugs me again telling me it will be okay, but I don’t see how.