Bring Me Back: Chapter 17
Daily Affirmation: “I choose to be happy and to love myself today.”
“Fuck.”
I glance over at James. “What?”
He holds up Kandi Steiner’s book. “Emory is at the bar with another woman.”
I squeal. “Keep reading.”
“I don’t like the direction this is heading. Is he going to spend the night with this random chick?”
“I can’t tell you. Just keep going.” I clutch my chest. “Isn’t her writing so beautiful? It’s like poetry.”
“It is.” He heaves a heavy sigh. “Fine, I’ll keep reading.”
We continue reading in silence until I notice a change in his breathing. His shoulders rise and fall with his short, quick breaths. I steal a peek at which page he’s on and stifle a laugh. It’s Emory and Cooper’s first sex scene. I let him keep going and watch out of the corner of my eye as he turns each page more quickly to get to the next.
Finally, I can’t contain myself any longer. “You okay over there?”
“Yeah, why?” His voice sounds gruffer than usual.
“You seem a little flustered.”
“First of all, I don’t get flustered. Second, this is… steamy.”
I laugh. “It is.”
“You like this stuff?”
“Don’t you?”
“Are you going to write these kinds of scenes into your book?”
I nod proudly. “I sure am.”
“Hmm.” He sticks the bookmark into the book and closes it. “Do you like that Fifty Shades of Grey type of stuff too?”
I arch a brow. “You know what Fifty Shades is?”
“Everyone knows what Fifty Shades is.”
“Well, I’m not into BDSM or pain.” I shrug. “But I’m sure I could be into more than just the missionary position with the right person.”
“You’ve only had sex in the missionary position?”
I grimace. “I haven’t had the greatest sex life. With the few guys I’ve dated, it was about their pleasure, or they didn’t know what they were doing.”
“And you didn’t tell them that they were doing it wrong?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t want to make them feel bad.”
“So, you let yourself feel bad instead.”
I blow out a sigh. “I guess so.”
“Promise me something.” He sets our books aside and pulls me onto his lap. His hands settle on either side of my face, his thumbs smoothing over my cheeks. “Promise me you’ll tell me what feels good to you.”
My stomach clenches. “I promise.”
He drags his nose down the side of my neck, sending goose bumps flying along my body. “And I promise that you will always feel good with me.”
A shiver dances down my spine as he continues speaking against my skin.
“Those other guys didn’t know what they had. They didn’t know how to appreciate a woman like you.” He bites my shoulder. “A body like yours.” He licks my neck. “But I’m going to taste every inch of you, learn every curve.” He pulls back and gazes into my eyes. “I’m going to show you how you deserve to feel, every single time I touch you. You will always get what you need with me.”
I swallow, my skin slick with sweat just from his words, from the promise of pleasure at the hands of this beautiful man.
My hips rock against him, yearning to ease the mounting ache between my legs.
His fingers dig into my hips. “I think about you every night, and all the ways I’m going to ravage you.”
My mouth falls open. “You fantasize about me?”
His low laugh rasps in my ear. “Yes, babe. I’ve got plans for this body.”
I suck his plump bottom lip into my mouth and bite down on it. “I’d like to know more about these plans.”
“You name the time and place, and I’ll be happy to show you.”
Just as our tongues dive for one another’s, Leo’s loud voice booms in the hallway outside James’s bedroom door. “Get your clothes on if you’re fucking in there. I’m coming in.” He bursts into the room wearing a smug grin. “What are you two doing?”
I slide off James’s lap. “Reading.”
Leo laughs. “Yeah, looks like it.”
James glances at the alarm clock on his nightstand. “Fuck, I have to get ready for my shift.”
“Guess it’s just me and you tonight, Nixie.” Leo winks. “Maybe I’ll be your New Year’s Eve kiss since the big guy has to work.”
James pushes off the mattress and shoves his brother back into the hallway. “Bring your lips anywhere near her, and you won’t make it into the new year.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I’ll see you later, Leo.”
James closes the door in his face, but Leo keeps talking. “You’re bringing chips and dip, right?”
“Yes. And root beer for your dad.”
James wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my forehead. “Thanks for spending the night with them. I hate leaving Dad on holidays. I feel like he gets lonely.”
“Well, he won’t be lonely anymore.”
“You know, I’m going to have to talk to this Steiner lady if Cooper and Emory don’t end up together by the end of the book.”
I smile. “It’s a romance. They have to end up happily ever after.”
He arches an eyebrow. “Then how do you explain The Notebook, or Titanic?”
“They did end up together in The Notebook. It was just a really sad ending because they were old.” I curl my lip. “But Titanic was… dumb.”
“Dumb? Wasn’t it supposed to be an epic love story?”
“She could’ve moved the fuck over and shared that door with Jack. Titanic doesn’t count. Rose was an asshole.”
He tilts his head back as he laughs, and I welcome the sound of his deep laughter. The corners of his eyes crinkle, and dimples frame his wide smile. The sight stills my heart and makes it hard to catch my breath.
“You look so beautiful when you smile.”
His expression sobers, and he leans down to kiss me. “I smile because I’m with you.”
My body warms, and I close my eyes, allowing this foreign feeling to sink into my chest. “I’m glad I didn’t injure you too badly when I hit you with the bat the night we met.”
He chuckles, and his warm breath tickles my lips. “I’d suffer through the head trauma all over again if it meant we’d end up here.”
“Good. Now, go save lives. Be safe.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
After the ball drops, I head back home.
Jim was already passed out in his recliner with a snoring Wilbur, so Leo and I whispered Happy New Year to not disturb them.
I place Wilbur in his crate when I reach my bedroom, and he curls up in a ball and passes back out. James should be home in an hour, and he said he’d come by to give me my first kiss of the new year.
Just the thought of his lips has me fanning myself. My mind has been in the gutter all day thanks to our conversation earlier. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this turned on. The medication I’m on tends to lower my libido, but more than that, I haven’t been interested in being with anyone. I was too busy focusing on my health to put work into being with anyone else.
But James has awakened my dormant sexuality.
“Might as well put it to good use.” I flop onto my bed and open the journal I’ve been using to jot down ideas for the book I’m working on. Maybe if I write a steamy scene, I’ll be able to get it out of my system.
Bad idea.
The more I write, the more turned on I get. My skin is hot and my heart is racing. I’m tempted to slip my hand into my shorts and relieve this ache, but I want to finish writing the scene before I find my release.
I left the door unlocked for James so he can let himself in when he gets here, but I’m so engrossed in my scene, I don’t hear anything until he walks into my room.
Flustered, I flip the journal closed and jump up to greet him. “Hi, you’re here. How was work?”
“Fine.” He pauses. “You okay?”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. You look weird.”
My nose scrunches. “Uh, thanks?”
“No, I mean something’s off.”
Oh, I was just fantasizing about you in my journal. No big deal.
“I’m good.”
He arches a brow and scans the room. “Were you sleeping?”
I shake my head.
“What were you doing before I got here?”
My eyes dart to the notebook on my pillow. “Nothing.”
Nothing besides picturing you touching me.
His eyes narrow. “You were sitting here doing nothing?”
I hike a shoulder. “Yeah. What’s wrong with a little quiet time?”
His eyes flick to my bed. “Why do you keep looking over there?”
“No reason.”
Then he spots the notebook. “What’s that?”
“A notebook. It’s filled with paper. People in modern societies use it to write in.”
He smirks. “Yes, I know what a notebook is, smart-ass. I mean, what is that notebook in particular?”
I inch toward the bed, trying not to make any sudden movements. “It’s the book I started writing.” I take another step forward. “It’s just a bunch of ideas and random scenes right now.”
“So, if you were working on your book when I walked in, why wouldn’t you just say that?”
I fiddle with the hem of my T-shirt. “I don’t know.”
He cocks his head to the side, his eyes bouncing from the notebook to me. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
I nod vigorously as I continue creeping toward the notebook. “Just tired I guess.”
Almost there. One more step and I’ll be able to—
James lunges forward and snatches the book off my bed before I can. “What’s in here that has you acting like this?”
My eyes go wide. “Give that back.”
He holds it above my head, wearing a playful smile. I jump and try to grab the book out of his grasp, but he’s too damn tall. He holds it open above his head while he cranes his neck to read it.
I watch helplessly as his eyes move from left to right over the page, heat burning my cheeks. “It’s just some ideas I’ve been working on. It’s nothing.” I jump again, but he swats me like a tiny gnat.
The smile drops from his face.
I swallow hard.
He continues reading, and his eyebrows jump. “This definitely isn’t nothing.”
I drop my head, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.
His finger touches my chin, tipping my head up until I meet his gaze. “You’re writing about me?”
I nod.
“Do you want this? What you wrote about? Is this what you like?”
I chew my bottom lip and give him another nod.
God, do I want this.
His eyes darken, no longer the light-honey color I’ve become accustomed to. “Will you read it to me?”
“What?” My voice is a whisper.
He hands me the notebook. “I’d like for you to read it to me, if you’re comfortable.”
My hands shake, and my breaths quicken.
“I want to know what you like.” He walks me backward. “I want to know what turns you on.” My calves hit the bed, and he stops, skimming his thumb over my lips. “I want to hear it from this sweet mouth of yours.”
I shiver as a wave of heat rolls over my skin.
“Will you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
James removes his belt, setting it on my nightstand along with his gun. He lowers himself onto the bed and props himself up against the headboard. Then he pats the space between his legs. “Come here.”
I oblige and lean back against his chest. My heart pounds so loud in my ears, I can barely make out the sound of my own voice when I begin reading. “A movie plays on the screen in front of us, but I’m not paying attention to it at all. The only thing I can focus on is James’s hand on my leg. He draws idle circles across my skin. I squirm because it tickles, but he grips me tighter so I can’t move away.”
James trails his hand along my skin, stroking my bare thigh and mimicking the words I just read.
“His fingers inch closer to the inside of my thigh each time he circles around.”
Goose bumps fly down my leg as his fingers follow my words.
I pause and lick my lips, preparing for the next part. Electricity and anticipation crackle in the air around us. I let my head fall back against his chest as I continue reading. “He kisses my neck and licks my ear while his other hand disappears under my shirt.”
James gives my neck a gentle bite as his hand slides underneath my shirt, smoothing over my stomach and traveling higher until he takes my breast into his large hand.
“The tips of his fingers skim my panty line, and my legs fall open, begging for him to keep touching me.”
James’s middle finger slips underneath my shorts and traces the outline of my cotton thong.
“Then he slips a finger into the side of my panties, and groans when he feels how wet I already am for him.”
I hold my breath waiting for James to do the same, and when he does, he lets out a deep rumble in my ear. His thick finger slides over me in slow, languid circles.
I whimper and my voice shakes. “I tell him how good that feels, and beg him not to stop, spreading my legs wider.”
I’m breathless as James works me exactly how I instruct him to. “He tells me how sexy he thinks I am, and whispers dirty things in my ear.”
His hot breath is at my ear. “You’re incredibly sexy. You feel so warm and wet. I can’t wait to make you come.” He brings his fingers to his lips and sucks them into his mouth, letting out another deep, satisfied groan. “Fuck, you taste so sweet. Will you take off these shorts so I can see you?”
I shimmy out of my shorts and thong in one swift movement and let my knees fall apart.
“That’s my girl.” James slides his fingers over me, coating them and humming in approval. “Keep reading.”
My words come out in broken clips. “He plays with me, switching from long, firm strokes, to light teasing ones. I tell him how turned on I am, and how good he’s making me feel.”
“Tell me, Phoenix. I want to hear it.”
I twist my neck to meet his hungry gaze, and trace his lips with my tongue, nipping at his full bottom lip. “You’re making me so wet, James. I’ve been dying for you to play with me just like this. To feel your hands all over me. I’ve thought about it for so many nights.”
“What else do you need?” he rasps, thrusting his hips under me to rub his hard bulge against my ass.
I yank off my T-shirt, and I guide his left hand back to my breast. “Swirl your thumb over them like this.”
I moan, arching into his touch, and he grins against my cheek. “Look at you, spread and bare for me.” I meet his gaze in the mirror across the room. “You are the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”
I toss the notebook to the side and recite the rest from memory. “When I’m a writhing mess in his hand, James starts to rub me faster. I take his hand from my breast, and wrap my tongue around his finger, imagining it’s his cock in my mouth.”
I let out a loud moan as he pushes his index finger into my mouth. My hips move wild under his touch, and when I release his finger from my mouth, he returns it to my nipple, rolling the wetness over the hardened bud.
“What happens next?” he asks.
“I want to come so bad, but James brings me to the brink, and then slows his fingers, teasing me until I can’t take it anymore.”
James bites my neck and then chases the sting with his tongue. “Are you ready to come?”
“Yes, James. Make me come.”
“I’ve got you. Let me hear you.”
I let go and succumb to his touch. The mounting pleasure between my legs explodes and my orgasm racks my body, sending a flash of white-hot heat through me. I throw back my head and let my moans fill the room, calling his name so he knows this moment belongs to him. I grip his wrist, keeping him there and riding his hand until I finish, until my body is tingling and sated.
“You’re beautiful, Phoenix.” He showers me with kisses as he whispers in my ear. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
“So, I should put that scene in my book?”
He chuckles. “You should definitely put that scene in your book.”
I turn around and meet his gaze. “I want to make you feel good too.”
But he shakes his head. “This was your fantasy. We’ll have plenty of time for mine.”
I stifle a yawn. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“Of course.”
I watch as he strips out of his uniform, heat reigniting in my core all over again at the sight of his sculpted body.
He smirks as he slips into bed beside me in nothing but his black boxer briefs. “Keep looking at me like that, and you’ll have another scene to add to your book.”
I give him a sleepy grin. “I can’t help it when you look like that.”
“Are you really writing your book about… us? About me?”
I nod and snuggle against him. “You’re the ultimate book boyfriend.”
He wraps his arms around me. “And what about a real-life boyfriend?”
I crane my neck to look into his eyes, questioning him with my gaze.
“I’d like to be your boyfriend.”
Affection warms my chest. “I’d like you to be my boyfriend too.”
“Good.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips. “Sweet dreams, my phoenix.”
“Happy New Year,” I whisper as I drift off.
If the way we started this new year is any indication, I’d say this year is going to be the best one yet.