Break the Day (Nightstar Book 1)

When Fennrin woke up, he almost gasped when he opened his eyes, only to see Ainreth sleeping next to him, an arm thrown over Fennrin’s chest, with his nose pressed against his shoulder, drooling a little, and why the sun was that adorable?

Fennrin shook his head, refusing to even rationalize it—too happy to rationalize it, honestly. This whole thing was crazy to think about.

Him liking someone like Ain he could have predicted. Ainreth was charming, loving, very attractive, powerful both in ability and status…. And Fennrin had been staying with him. No wonder he’d develop feelings for the lightweaver.

But for Ain to like him back? To declare it publicly like he had? Fennrin felt a little like he was dreaming. It made his head spin. But he wouldn’t let himself do the usual thing and overthink. He wanted to enjoy this, for however long it was going to last. Though Ain certainly seemed committed. Fennrin still couldn’t believe he’d called him his future husband.

Yes, he’d been drunk, and Fennrin wouldn’t take it too seriously, but it still made his heart flutter happily. He was fairly used to being wanted for his unique abilities, though the use of them now was certainly much better than doing a shadow puppet show. But Ainreth wanted him for him, which wasn’t something Fennrin was very familiar with. He doubted it had happened since he’d been disowned and lost the friend he’d had back then due to being forced to leave his hometown, though there had been nothing deep about that friendship.

“Do you usually watch people sleep?” Ain mumbled, opening his eyes a crack to look at Fennrin. The shadowforger felt his face grow warm as his eyes immediately darted away, staring off at the window on his right.

“Uh, apologies, I—”

“Aw, Fenn, I’m just teasing.” Ain moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around him with a dazzling smile on his face. “I know I’m hard not to stare at.”

Fennrin huffed, rolling his eyes, but he couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed as he immediately hugged back. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed the aura of light surrounding Ainreth all of a sudden.

Right, that happened when he was happy. Fennrin didn’t think he’d believe it if he’d heard someone tell him about it. It was just so…. Fennrin didn’t even have the right word to describe it, but he did know he loved seeing it.

As his eyes ran over Ain’s body, he noticed the tunic he was wearing, a very dark gray one, had small suns embroidered into it with gold thread. He hadn’t realized that before, though he’d seen Ainreth wear this tunic.

“Is everything you wear sun-themed?”

Ainreth chuckled, winking at him. “Of course. It looks good, doesn’t it? And it annoys all the older soldiers.”

Fennrin frowned. “How is that a good thing?”

Ain laughed again, the sound so melodic and beautiful. Fennrin was so happy he could properly experience it now that he was letting himself. Now that he felt like it wouldn’t be inappropriate and that it wouldn’t upset him to do so.

He hadn’t really let himself properly long to be with Ain because he’d just never imagined it would happen, but it did feel like a huge weight had lifted off his chest.

“Trust me, the good ones aren’t jealous of me becoming a general so young. And the morons are fun to antagonize.”

Fennrin would never understand that viewpoint, he didn’t think. But then, he didn’t enjoy being the center of attention, especially not because of his powers. He wondered if things would have been different if shadowforgers weren’t seen as inherently evil. Or if he were born with a different az-ari power. Perhaps he’d like the attention too if he were celebrated for it.

Though even imagining that made Fennrin uncomfortable. Yes, he would very much like to not be shunned, but he liked being left alone. He didn’t want anyone fawning over him, and he didn’t think that would change.

“You should hear some of the things one of my captains have said behind my back,” Ain continued meanwhile, a big grin on his face for some reason, even though Fennrin already knew this wouldn’t be complimentary. “Petre reports these things to me. They’re always so serious about it, too. But I’m not going to punish someone for saying that the only reason I am where I am in life is due to being a lightweaver. Anyone saying that is absolutely right.”

Fennrin would have gotten concerned at that if not for Ainreth’s easy, amused tone. And his continued smiling and glowing, of course. “It doesn’t bother you?”

Ain waved his hand before immediately putting it back where it had been on Fennrin’s back. “No. Though one time some misborn implied that, um, one aspect of my behavior is due to my parents. I’m not letting anyone insult them like that.”

Fennrin felt angry at the idea that anyone would try to insult Ainreth, let alone his parent, though he wasn’t sure what the lightweaver was referring to. Was he talking about his tendency to sleep around?

Fennrin had been trying not to think about that. He didn’t care what Ainreth had done in his personal life, that was his business, but it did still make him worry just a little that this might not last very long. But he wouldn’t listen to these thoughts. Not unless he had reason to think them.

“Who are your parents?” Fennrin asked, curious now. He didn’t think he’d heard much about Ainreth’s family. Everyone always talked about the Daybreaker, and only the Daybreaker. Honestly, given how everyone tended to paint him as an amazing hero and hope personified, it was easy to forget that Ainreth was just a man, sometimes.

“Oh, it’s not about who they are,” Ain said, sighing. “I just have five of them. And some people are too ignorant to comprehend that.”

Fennrin blinked. Okay, he had certainly not been expecting that. “So the painting downstairs—”

“Is just me and my parents, yes.” Ainreth was now watching him warily, drawing away a little, as if expecting Fennrin to judge him. Probably due to the face Fennrin must have been making right now. “Is that all right?”

“Of course it is!” Fennrin immediately replied, sighing as he sat up on the bed. He had to push his hair away from his face. He’d undone the ponytail for the night, and it was getting everywhere now. “I just…I didn’t expect I would have to impress five people.”

Ainreth chuckled, sitting up so he could hug Fennrin again. “Oh, don’t worry, liri. They’ll love you.” He kissed his cheek, brushing Fenn’s hair behind his ear. “I mean one of my dads and one of my moms might be a bit… They might interrogate you about your intentions with me.” Ainreth chuckled while Fennrin swallowed thickly. “But they’re just protective. They’ll quickly realize you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

It was horrible with how much certainty Ainreth was saying that. As if he had looked into the future and seen it. And it was horrible only because Fennrin couldn’t do that. He just had to keep second-guessing everything, too afraid to just say how he felt now without worrying that in the future it might no longer be true. He felt bad for doubting Ain’s words, but when said words were how the best thing that ever happened to the legendary general who had mastery over sunlight at his fingertips was Fennrin, it was difficult to believe it wasn’t a huge hyperbole.

“Oh, we should go visit and introduce you!” Ain suddenly said, all excited, but when he saw Fennrin’s no doubt terrified expression, he scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, later. Eventually.”

Fennrin nodded. It was the correct thing to do. And he would very much like to meet Ainreth’s family. It was just intimidating, given how the majority of people reacted to his presence. And now that Ain had publicly announced that they were together, his parents would no doubt learn eventually that Fennrin was a shadowforger.

“You know, you look really cute with your hair down,” Ainreth said, making Fennrin do a double take at the sudden change of topic. “Not as cute as with the ponytail, though.”

Then he gave him a toothy smile and kissed him. Fennrin felt his brain give up on the previous anxiety and just kissed back, moving his lips against Ainreth’s, his hands wandering over the lightweaver’s chest while Ain ran his hand through Fennrin’s hair.

He actually whined when Ainreth pulled away, and he promptly blushed. How embarrassing.

“Sorry, Fenn. As much as I don’t want to leave this bed, we should get up. We did promise the Bulwark we’d train as much as possible.”

Fennrin nodded. Of course that was the right thing to do. If they were to fight Orinovo, then Fennrin would need to spend as much time as they still had to learn how to do that, not to mention that he barely had any idea how the army functioned, certainly not enough to work with the soldiers in an effective way.

They barely made it downstairs, though, Ain bragging about his pancake-making capabilities, when they heard a commotion outside. It sounded distant, but it was still very audible. Sharing a look, they both decided that breakfast could wait and got dressed, walking out of the house.

They followed the noise down the street, hand in hand, already seeing people gathering up ahead, until they reached the crowd gathered in front of the palace. There were around a hundred people here, which wasn’t that much for Kyr-Toryl, from what Fennrin had noticed, but it was a lot for this part of it. Up here, crowds like that didn’t gather.

And even before he heard what the woman standing in front of the crowd was saying, Fennrin already realized what this would be about from the way the people around them were now staring at them, fear and hate in their eyes. At least the majority hadn’t noticed them yet.

The Herald was on the scene as well, standing up on the steps to the palace, with guards flanking him. He was glaring down at everyone present, which did make Fennrin feel a little better, though he wanted to escape the situation, still.

“The shadowforger is clearly trying to corrupt our Daybreaker!” the leader snapped at the Daryan. And Fennrin cringed. He made a move to let go of Ainreth’s hand, his eyes focus on the cobbles beneath their feet, but Ain didn’t let him, squeezing his hand.

“And what proof of that do you have?” the Herald replied, his words cold and terse. Fennrin had never seen him be like that, but he was grateful that Daryan was on his side, even if it was only because a shadowforger was useful to Lys-Akkaria.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Ainreth snapped through gritted teeth, drawing everyone’s attention to him. Fennrin just kept staring down at the ground, the only thing keeping him from turning into a shadow being not wanting to leave Ain alone to deal with this. “I swear to the sun I will burn every last one of you if you don’t go your blighted way this instant.”

“General,” Daryan warned from above, but Ainreth clearly wasn’t done, pulling Fennrin along onto the palace steps. The shadowforger didn’t resist, even though he wanted to run back to Ainreth’s house and go back to that beautiful morning from just a few minutes ago.

“Fenn is not a danger! I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it.”

Fennrin risked a glance at the crowd when silence followed. The leader seemed to have faltered a little, an unsure look on her face, similar to her compatriots. “But sir, we are just concerned about you. And this country.”

Ainreth huffed, squeezing Fennrin’s hand tighter. Fennrin squeezed back immediately, looking him over. He looked so angry, a scowl on his face, his teeth gritted. He looked like he actually did want to send a burning light against this crowd.

“I don’t need your concern. Maybe use some of this free time you apparently have to think for two seconds. Do you honestly believe I would do anything to threaten Lys-Akkaria? That I would invite Fenn into my home if I wasn’t sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that Fenn isn’t a danger? That he is in fact incredibly important to the future of this country? Or that Orinovo would send assassins to kill both of us if they didn’t see him as a threat to them.”

Ainreth shook his head at the crowd, looking so disappointed and disgusted. Fennrin hated that he was the reason for this, but he wanted to kiss him so much just then. Ainreth standing up for him so fiercely, with such conviction made him want to cry.

But of course he wouldn’t let himself.

“Get out of here. I wasn’t joking about burning you. If you try to do this again, I will.”

After a second or two of hesitation, the crowd did start to disperse, though very hesitantly and begrudgingly. Fennrin was sure this wasn’t over, and he was also certain this had been caused by Ain kissing him here yesterday, but he supposed this had been inevitable, sadly.

“Sundering morons,” Ainreth muttered, still glaring after them.

“Try not to threaten them next time,” the Herald said as he moved to stand next to them, though he didn’t sound very much like he was berating him. He mostly seemed displeased with the crowd. “It does not help.”

“Then what does?” Ainreth snapped, turning to Daryan. “Do you have any ideas?”

The Herald hummed, nodding, clasping his hands behind his back. “As a matter of fact, I do. But Fennrin will need to go on a journey around Lys-Akkaria.”

“I don’t know about this,” Ain grumbled as they exited the palace, having been debriefed on the Herald’s plan and having agreed to it.

Daryan’s idea was to send Fennrin around Lys-Akkaria, using his powers to help the locals, particularly with his ability to make anything move or even levitate, and by doing so improve his public image. And of course Ainreth immediately insisted on going with him, which was a relief. Fennrin couldn’t imagine doing this without him. He was already tense and stressed over the idea, but he agreed with the Herald that this would probably work.

Surely the people wouldn’t continue to shun him if they saw him as useful. If this didn’t work, then he truly had no idea how else to make people not hate him, so it had to. They couldn’t have mobs randomly showing up to protest the fact that Fennrin and Ainreth were together.

It was ridiculous, and yet it had happened. And it still made Fennrin feel sick to his stomach to think about it.

“Do you not think it will work?” Fennrin asked, frowning at Ainreth, not sure what else he could possibly mean. But Ain shook his head.

“I mean, it better work. I just don’t like that we have to go prove that you’re a good guy.”

Ain had said it with such fiery conviction. It made Fennrin feel all fluttery and overwhelmed, still. “At least we can help people?”

Ainreth smiled, his dark eyes sparkling with fondness. Fennrin almost forgot how to walk for a moment upon seeing that, but he managed to collect himself before he actually stopped. “Yeah, I suppose that’s good. And with that assassin incident, I think it is best if we don’t stay in one place too long.” Then he sighed. “I just wish we didn’t have to do this, you know?”

Fennrin nodded grimly. But then, he wished for a lot of things. First and foremost that Orinovo wasn’t trying to attack them again. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Ainreth scoffed in disbelief, bulging his eyes out at Fennrin. “As if I’d ever let you go out there alone. It’s dangerous. Not to mention I’d miss you too much.”

Fennrin grinned at Ain, unable not to when he said things like that. His anxiety was immediately forgotten, replaced with joy as Ainreth pulled him into an embrace, giving him a quick kiss. Fennrin couldn’t even get himself to care that they were out in the open where people could see them.

He’d always hated it when he saw people do this kind of thing, but he supposed he understood why they did it now that he was just as guilty.

“Though I think there is no avoiding meeting my parents if we do this,” Ainreth said, a slight grimace on his face as he pulled away, only keeping a hand on Fennrin’s shoulder. “We are supposed to visit the bigger towns, and I can’t show my face in Tenremi without visiting. If we show up without coming over to their house, I will never hear the end of it.”

Tenremi was about a day’s journey away Kyr-Toryl if Fennrin remembered correctly. And it was a large town, which meant they absolutely should visit it. But honestly, Fennrin wasn’t nearly as worried about meeting Ainreth’s family once he realized what visiting every larger town meant. And suddenly, his heart was in his throat again.

“Mine live in Lor-Lyntera.”

Ain’s face went from a somewhat guilty frown to an expression of cold, patient rage. “Oh, they do, do they?”

Fenn sighed. He didn’t want Ainreth to get angry with them. He honestly just wanted to forget he even had living relatives. Pretending they didn’t exist was much easier. But not only would they have to visit his hometown, he was sure Ain was now very interested in confronting them. And Fennrin didn’t want that. It was just going to be uncomfortable.

“I think it’s high time I introduce myself.”

“Ainreth….” Fennrin sighed again, looking away from him. Ain didn’t say anything, pulling him close again instead. Fennrin closed his eyes, hugging him back, immediately feeling better. He never wanted to not be held by him.

“Sorry, Fenn, but we can’t visit that town without me yelling at them,” Ainreth said, his voice surprisingly somber for the words he’d said. “They deserve it.”

Fennrin supposed he could agree with that, and there would be no avoiding his parents if they visited Lor-Lyntera, it was true. But that didn’t mean he was happy about it. If possible, he wanted to stay away from all of that. If Ainreth wanted to yell at them, he could, but Fennrin himself would stay on the other side of town while that was happening.

“Just don’t burn them.”

Ain chuckled, bringing his hand up to stroke Fennrin’s cheek. The shadowforger felt his face warming, but this was the good kind of blushing. The kind that made his heart flutter and his hands sweat, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“No promises.”

Fennrin fixed him with a hard look. “Ain.”

Ainreth sighed, leaning in to kiss his forehead, which of course only served to make Fennrin feel even less steady on his feet. “Oh, fine, I promise not to permanently injure them.”

Fennrin shook his head, still not letting go of Ainreth. He never wanted to, in fact, even though he knew that realistically, he would have to eventually, especially considering that they needed to go pack necessities for the journey.

The prospect of traveling around Lys-Akkaria, trying to get the people to like him, was quite intimidating, but if he really tried and used his power to help them, he felt like maybe he could actually manage it.

But then, as long as he had Ainreth with him, he felt like he could manage anything.