Born From Ash (Book I of The Flame Trilogy)

The next time I wake up, I have yet again- the familiar aches and pains of having had my ass thoroughly kicked and I’m in an unfamiliar room.

It has a dark colour scheme, with simple but necessary pieces of furniture adorning the room. The long blue curtains have been drawn shut, keeping outside hidden from view, by the clock beside me on the nightstand I know that it’s still around midday.

It’s Dimitri’s room; his scent is everywhere, completely taking over the room. I have to fight the urge to sniff his scent off the pillow beside me because it’s both comforting and sexy to me. Even with our growing bond it isn’t hard because I’m much more distracted by my own discomfort.

The warmth of the dark coloured duvet has me sweating, my back and neck were wet with the evidence. My entire body is uncomfortably hot, yet still, cold chills travel down my spine. It isn’t anything like I’ve experienced before.

I try to search my memory for a clue as to how I got here, completely irked at the fact that all I seem to be doing lately is waking up in some kind of pain. I remember being in Dimitri’s office and meeting Lady Azura. Then it struck me. The witch unlocked my mind, or whatever she had called it, so that I could access my repressed memories.

I then search my mind desperately for these lost memories, clawing at my consciousness for me to go further. However, I’m only met with frustration and disappointment as I once again come up empty. I want to cry-something that I would never admit out loud. I keep on doing things and I’m not getting any results; I feel like I’m just running in circles and I’m so fucking tired of it.

Maybe the Witch hadn’t done anything at all?

But she did, I know she did. I felt it. In my brain and all over my body.

Maybe it didn’t work?

I want to scream in frustration, it’s so unfair. Even the last resort plan has failed, it’s like a sign that I’m trying to fight an impossible uphill battle. No matter what I do, I’m always met with one obstacle after the next, perhaps it’s fate for Aleksandr to commit mass genocide on the Werewolf race.

No.

I will stop him. Even if it means I have to re-write fate.

What he wants is murder and is pure evil. I refuse to believe that any higher force of power be it the moon goddess, or the universe itself would ever want something as horrific as Aleksandr’s plans to be put into action. It may be hypocritical coming from me; there’s probably a seat in hell with my name written on it but still- I have to do something. If not for me, then for all the innocents that he would destroy if he really gets his way.

I roll out of bed pulling on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and one of Dimitri’s t-shirts over my head. I quickly slip on some sneakers before heading outside.

I follow the distinct stench of Epsilon- a combination of pure earth and sweat- until I find myself at the pack training grounds. Several men are milled around, Epsilon who aren’t currently on duty, sparring in pairs or engaging in weapons training.

A few of the men openly stare as I walk through the space. Though after my last performance, I doubt any of them will approach me. I fight the urge to roll my eyes, minding my own business.

It’s irksome. It’s almost like they’ve never seen a woman training, though looking at their ridiculous pack traditions they probably haven’t. The funny part is that I’m much stronger than all the males here and could take them easily.

I begin rehearsing my training just like I’d been taught to; adding in a few extra kicks, tumbles and rolls. I’ll admit, I am showing off slightly for the seeking eyes; I am a force to be reckoned with and I want them to know. I let myself get lost in my body’s movements, letting my mind relax, to let myself just let loose.

I don’t care about the dirt that mars my skin, instead I embrace the feeling, a slight primal enjoyment surfacing in me. It reminds me of the last time when it had been raining, and Dimitri shoved my face in the dirt.

I shudder as he takes over my mind, and I’m reminded of Dimitri’s promise of a punishment. I know it will be as dark as the tone he had used. I’m not afraid, I’ve taken punishment before, some at the hand of Aleksandr himself and I know that nothing could ever be worse than that.

I keep going, pushing myself to punch harder even though I begin to feel slightly dizzy. A soldier doesn’t stop, they keep going. I’ve been taught to train until I pass out. If that’s the case, fickle ailments of the body are not going to prevent me from reaching my physical peak.

I have to become stronger.

Dark spots cloud my vision as another cold chill dances down my spine. The frigid outside air doesn’t help either; I hadn’t realised how cold I really am.

I’m not helping myself by making myself sicker, Dimitri would probably just make me stay in that goddamned bed longer if I get worse. I stop, deciding it would be better to go back knowing that Dimitri is probably pissed off with me enough for being out of bed anyway.

I make it past the tree line walking further back in the direction of the pack house. Leaning against a tree to try to catch my breath. Maybe I really did push myself too far this time. My head grows unusually heavy and the previous spots from before return, this time they grow bigger.

My body feels heavier, a suit of lead weighing me down as I try to drag myself forward. Instead, I lose my footing going down hard on the cold, hard earth, my consciousness slowly slipping away.

Apparently, Dimitri had gone on a rampage after finding me gone, he had enlisted men to search the surrounding area of the pack house. He probably thought that I had run off or something just to piss him off, not that I would’ve- okay, maybe I would.

Angel is the one that finds me lying face down on the ground. I barely regain consciousness enough to recognize her worried face peering over me. She is a lover of nature, so she spends a lot of time walking in the pack gardens and thus she found me on one of her walks or so she says.

I figure she had a suspicion of where I would be. Or perhaps better yet, she wants to go back to the training grounds.

I don’t know how far back I had actually gotten, between my dizziness and bouncing vision I don’t know where the hell I am. I can’t even focus enough to walk back to the pack house with her, stumbling every few steps.

Since she has no healing knowledge, and even less strength there’s nothing she can really do so she quickly calls for her mate. She sits beside me, brushing my hair and face softly as we wait for him to arrive.

“You wanted to go back to the training grounds didn’t you,” I bait her quietly, my eyes closed as I try to fight off the pain in my head.

“Yeah, but you can’t-”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” I smile, “I’m kind of glad. The women of this pack need to take action.”

Viktor arrives quickly with Dimitri in tow. The Alpha in question moves with heavy, purposeful strides coming directly towards me not even pausing to listen to what Angel has to say.

He kneels beside me with a grace unpossessed by any man of his stature. One of his arms wraps behind my neck, allowing me to rest my head against his large bicep. His other arm goes under my knees so that he can pull me up into his arms.

His face remains stoic as he walks. I don’t know whether he’s angry with me or just playing the role of the ‘big bad Alpha’ for his pack members who can see us. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is mad, all I’ve done since I arrived is cause him trouble. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m both his mate and trying to save his species, I’m sure he would’ve decided that I’m more trouble than I’m worth.

He carries me through the house back up to the bedroom that I had woken up in; as soon as the door shuts behind him his face visibly softens. He puts me to sit on the bed, propping the pillows behind my head to make sure that I’m comfortable.

He drinks in my features carefully, his eyes pausing over certain spots before he turns around and leaves the room. I huff in irritation, completely annoyed by his display. Though when I think about it, he probably doesn’t have anything good to say so it’s probably better than him yelling at me.

When he returns, he has someone with him, a young girl- barely 13 and an elder looking man. Judging by the resemblance, she’s the elder man’s daughter. I soon realise that the man is a healer, and his daughter probably helps him.

I don’t miss the way Dimitri stands in the corner of the room watching like a hawk- anytime the man gets too close to me he lets out a small growl. Instead, the girl is the one to wash and treat my bruises following her father’s instructions carefully.

I find it rather unnecessary considering I would heal in hours, but I don’t say anything. Dimitri looks like he’s on the verge of tearing something to shreds, mate or not, I would not risk it being me.

They wrap me in blankets, and several balms apply several balms to my bruised and chapped skin. I have no idea how long I had been lying out in the cold, but I guess that it couldn’t have been more than 4-5 hours.

The healer is quite skilled, and there’s a particular merit in the fact that the young girl is able to learn her father’s trade, even if it’s just to help me. Not that she would ever get to use it if Dimitri continues to run his pack the way he does.

The Alpha remains deathly silent only grunting to dismiss the apothecaries after they have finished their work. Just as they are leaving, a small omega comes in holding a tray of foods which Dimitri takes off of her before dismissing her too.

Dimitri strides forward, his heavy and purposeful footfalls echoing in the room. He puts the tray down in front of me encouraging me to eat. My stomach rumbles lightly, the last time I had eaten was yesterday and now I’m starving; it probably wasn’t a bright idea for me to try to train without having any sustenance in me. I devour the plates quickly leaning back with a satisfied sigh.

Dimitri looks me over, his eyes pausing over each and every scrape or cut that adds to the collection of my already scarred skin. He looks at a small patch on my head where I scraped it when I fell before his anger bubbles over, manifesting in a feral growl once again.

“Why were you outside?” He admonishes, there’s a hard edge in his tone, and I know that he’s angry.

“I was training.” I shrug nonchalantly.

“You should not have been out of bed!” He suddenly roars. “Dammit Arashi- why don’t you listen? You could’ve endangered your health! Your body and mind are already worn thin from yesterday, you need to rest.”

“We need to keep pushing forward! Even a witch couldn’t help me get my memories back so how bad of a position do you think we’re in!?” I shout back, my frustration at his laid-back attitude finally bubbling over. “We’re already fighting a losing battle, and you are doing nothing! Do you want the end of your race?! Is that it?!”

I’m panting with exertion, the cold chills from this morning returning once again. I can feel my muscles twitch slightly. Dimitri, realising my suddenly weakened state, rushes forward tucking the blankets closer and fluffing the pillows below my head.

“I know how important this is, but you need to recover from yesterday. The process of recovering your memories is gradual; it won’t come back all at once.” Dimitri strokes my hair as he speaks gently. “I don’t want the end of the Werewolf race, and I am by no means being complacent. I trust you. I think it is time that you give me some of your trust too mate.”

I look at him, my lips quivering with the need to say something to him. I have been too rash and foolish, I lashed out at him for no reason. I won’t apologize but I would acknowledge that it was wrong for me to explode on him.

“Shh.” He hushes me, “Rest, we will talk tomorrow.”

My eyes flutter close, the light-headedness that I had been ignoring slowly pulling me under.

Before I completely fall asleep, I feel his lips brush against my forehead. It’s a ghost of a kiss- barely anything at all. So much so that I have to ask myself whether I truly felt anything at all.