Blood

Mattie watches the Island shrink behind us, a little sadly, maybe.

I couldn’t be any happier to be leaving the waters of Faer. Leaving for good.

But it hurts. Physically. Whatever that bitch did to me on the solstice tied me to the Wood in some way I don’t understand. Mallory had tried to explain it. Something about death. I don’t really care. All I know is it makes every single one of my scars ache the farther away we get.

I suppose I’ll have to get used to that.

Because I can’t stay on that cursed rock any longer. I tried. I tried really hard, both for my own sake and Mallory’s, but I can’t. There’s nothing there that doesn’t hurt. There’s no happiness left there, and I can’t live like that. I don’t know how I’ll live at all, actually, but getting away from Faer seems the best way to start.

And Mattie agreed to come with me. He, and my uncle. Robert was from the mainland, so there’s family there for him and Mattie. For me as well, Mattie says, but I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think there’s much for family left anywhere for me, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

I glance back at the Island, hoping for some fond memory of my family, but all I can see is the Wood and a shot of pain racks me anew, making me grimace.

It hurts, but it helps me know I’ve made the right decision. Anything that can cause pain like that is no place for living.

Mallory didn’t want me to go, but that didn’t matter. He was fucking late, so he had no fucking say. I didn’t ask him to come with me, which I knew hurt him, even though I don’t think he would have come if I had, anyway. So fucking what? He was late.

And he couldn’t understand. He tried, and he seemed to understand what had happened and why it happened, but he couldn’t begin to understand what it meant. He didn’t understand the feeling that I had to return to the Wood. The feeling that I had to finish whatever had been started. The feeling that I was meant to be there. That it was the only choice left.

Well fuck that.

I don’t know what I’ll do, or how I’ll stay alive once I get to the mainland. Hell, I don’t even know what the mainland looks like. It’ll be better than the ruddy Island, anyway.

I watch the empty horizon for signs of land. I don’t see any, but I know it’s there, and that’s all that matters.

Getting away from Faer is all that matters.